Somewhere Only We Know
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
"Finn," she snaps for probably the millionth time that evening. "I told you to stop messing with your tie! Do you want it to be crooked when we're announced Prom King and Queen?"
He sighs. He thought prom was supposed to be fun. Instead it's "Finn, stop squirming," or "Finn, smile like you mean it. These pictures are going to be in the yearbook forever," and "Finn, if you step on my dress one more time, I'm cutting you off." Cutting him off of what exactly, he isn't sure, but he knows what it's definitely not. You have to actually be sleeping with someone to cut off sex, and despite all her promises and teasing, Quinn has yet to put out.
He follows her like a puppy through the mass of gyrating bodies on the dance floor. She's enjoying every minute of it; she stops to talk to people that she's never even acknowledged before, asking how they're enjoying themselves and complimenting their outfits, acting almost as if this is her party, and she's some wonderful hostess.
He spots Kurt and Blaine across the way, and Kurt wiggles his fingers at him with a sympathetic look on his face. He's about to go talk to them, when Quinn grabs his arm. "Don't leave me alone," she hisses, her smile not even faltering.
So he stays, standing at her side like a dutiful boyfriend – if that's what he is. This is technically their first date since they've gotten back together; he's pretty sure all the make out sessions at her house don't count. They never even had dinner or anything afterwards.
He greets Mercedes and her date. He waves subtly at Puck and Lauren. He fakes a smile for Tina and Mike. He high-fives Artie as he wheels by. He nods coolly at Karofsky. Everything is done on autopilot as he plays his part: the cool, collected, star quarterback with a really hot date.
Idly he wonders if Rachel is going to show up. They haven't spoken much since Regionals, when Quinn let the bomb drop that they were an item again. He doesn't know what else she said to Rachel, but it was enough to keep her away, which really bugs him. They were friends, and he liked it that way, but then she sang that song. He had thought he was over her, but when she sang what she wrote, he had started wondering, "What if?"
But it seems as if singing that song has had the opposite effect on her. He was left with hope, while she shuts him out. Now she's so detached when she speaks to him, like he is just some other douchebag who slushies her in the hallway.
That, more than anything, makes him want to lock himself up in his bedroom and cry like a girl.
He hears a commotion from across the Radisson banquet hall – the only really nice joint in Lima – and turns to see Kurt and Mercedes running to the doors. His eyes snap to Rachel as she enters on the arm of some guy that he doesn't quite recognize from this distance. She looks gorgeous – no, classy. Not that Quinn looks like trash, but her attire is meant for show.
Rachel's hair is pulled up in this loose and low twist, and her dress is vintage, but she pulls it off. She greets their friends with a big smile on her face, turning so that the pink skirt twirls around her long legs. His mouth goes dry.
He finally catches a good glimpse of her date, and suddenly his blood is boiling. He can't believe his eyes. That can't be Jesse St. James standing next to her, looking so debonair in his tux that Finn suddenly feels self-conscious and stupid in his cummerbund and gold tie that matches Quinn's dress.
How can she be here with him of all people? He wants to march over there, grab her by the shoulders, and shake some sense into her. Instead, he stands rigidly in place, taking deep breaths to steady his anger.
Quinn notices his discomfort and she looks around to see whom he's glaring at. Her mouth actually drops open. "Oh. My. God," she gasps. "I cannot believe what I'm seeing."
"I know, right?" he agrees. "What's she even thinking bringing him here?"
"Can you believe she's wearing that dress?" Quinn asks, not hearing him. "How does she always manage to look like a freak? It's like she's actually trying to be ostracized."
"What's wrong with her dress?" he mumbles, but as usual, she ignores him and drags him in their direction. "Where are we going?"
"I've got to get a better look at this."
Rachel spots them just before they reach her little group, and her face goes red. Finn sees Blaine roll his eyes at something Jesse is saying.
"Rachel," Quinn greets stiffly. "Jesse, I had no idea you were in town."
"Yes," he says, looping an arm around Rachel's waist. "I've been back for a few weeks."
"College not working out for you?" Finn can't help but ask, knowing he sounds like an ass. But hey, he hardly ever one-ups anybody, and it feels kind of good.
Jesse just smiles and looks down at Rachel like she's some sparkly toy. "Actually I took this semester off. I've landed a recurring role on a soap opera." Finn scowls as Jesse continues, "I decided that it would be more practical for me focus on my career as opposed to my studies at the moment. UCLA isn't going anywhere, you know."
Then he looks over at Finn and smirks. "And what about you, Hudson? Any college prospects?"
"Not yet," he says through clenched teeth.
Rachel says nothing, her focus on a decoration that's fallen to the floor.
"Well, it was nice chatting with you, but Finn and I need to go mingle," Quinn announces, taking him by the hand. "Will we be seeing you at Project Prom?"
"Possibly," Jesse answers with a shit eating grin on his face. "We may be a little late."
His meaning is not lost on Finn, and he feels his stomach lurch. He notices the way Rachel's jaw clenches, but she still doesn't say anything, she just wrings her small purse tightly in her hands. He realizes that she hasn't said a word during the entire exchange.
"You look really pretty, Rachel," he blurts, and both she and Quinn snap their heads in his direction.
"Thank you, Finn," she says quietly. There's something about the way her eyes shine that makes him want to lug her into his arms and hold her tight, but he's pretty sure Quinn wouldn't like that, so he refrains himself.
"I hope you enjoy yourselves," Quinn says primly, then turns on her heel and stalks off. He spares one moment to give Rachel a small, genuine smile before following after her.
Quinn goes into Snow Queen mode after that, which is fine with him because now he can wander away for a few minutes at a time while she entertains the adoring masses. He roams around the perimeter of the room, keeping his eye on Rachel and Jesse. He's acting like a total psycho, he knows, but he's seething with hurt and jealousy.
How can she forgive him for what he did to her? And how can she even consider sleeping with him? He has no doubt in his mind that she means to really go through with it this time. What happened to Jewish babies and waiting until she was twenty-five?
He remembers the weak question she had asked him after Regionals. "How, Finn?" she had asked. "How can you forgive her but not…?"
She had left that thought hanging, never to broach the subject with him again.
Suddenly, Finn is seeing things in a new perspective. How did he forgive Quinn? Wasn't what she did ten million times worse that what Rachel did? Sure, it didn't make Rachel making out with Puck right, but Rachel didn't lie to him about it. And she certainly didn't nearly ruin his life by telling him she was pregnant with his kid.
So why is he with Quinn now? She's hot, but she certainly hasn't changed. She still bosses him around and is more concerned about a plastic crown than his feelings. And, he finally has to face it, she just isn't Rachel.
He knows he can't just march up to her and tell her he still loves her. It doesn't work like that in the real world. But he knows he wants to make things right with her. He knows he wants them to start over again. And they can't do that if she's seeing Jesse. They can't do that if she sleeps with him tonight.
"Finn! I told you not to leave my side." Quinn comes up behind him and arches an eyebrow. "We need to make our way to the front. They're about to announce the Court and I don't want to have to weave my way through the crowd when they call me up for my crown."
He nods and follows her, wondering what he's going to do. What's he going to do about Quinn? What's he going to do about Rachel? What's he going to do about, well, everything?
Coach Sylvester walks up onto the stage, wearing this weird tracksuit gown thing, and pushes the DJ out of her way.
"Alright, listen up you brainless sacks of hormones. The votes are in and it's time for me to, unfortunately, announce your Prom Court." She then proceeds to read out the names of several jocks and Cheerios as the Prom Prince and Princesses. He hears Puck heckling them from somewhere out in the crowd, and he turns to look for his friend.
He spots him standing with the other gleeks. Rachel and Jesse are standing near them, and he watches as Jesse leans over and whispers something in Rachel's ear. She nods, and then they're turning to leave, and he can't see, or hear, or think about anything else.
Someone nudges him on the shoulder. He turns and stares blankly down at Quinn.
"Finn, Coach Sylvester just announced you as Prom King! Go up to the stage. And fix your tie!"
He walks to the stage on autopilot. He squints his eyes in the bright lights and searches the crowd as Principal Figgins places his crown on his head. He can barely make them out, but Jesse and Rachel are definitely heading to the exit. No, no, no!
He's full on panicking now, barely registering the cheers as Quinn is announced Prom Queen. She makes her way up to the stage, her head held high. She smiles in accomplishment out at their peers as she's crowned in all her golden glory.
"Ladies and idiots," Coach Sylvester says dully. "I present to you your Prom King and Queen, Finn Hudson and Quinn Fabray. Now move out of the way so that they can get their undoubtedly uncoordinated dance out of the way and we can all move on with our lives."
He walks in a daze back down to the dance floor, shuffling his feet behind Quinn. The opening notes to Faithfully begin playing and it's all wrong. This isn't his and Quinn's song; it's his and Rachel's!
"Now remember," Quinn whispers to him, "keep your hands at my waist, just like we practiced. And don't step on my shoes, they're new."
It's the last straw. Finn steps away from her, his face unreadable.
"Finn, what are you doing?"
He doesn't answer, he just walks away from her and towards his friends. He plucks the crown off of his head and plops it on Artie's as he walks by.
"Don't roll on her shoes," he says. "They're new."
Puck falls into step with him as he heads toward the door he saw Rachel and Jesse leave out of.
"Where did they go?" he asks.
"Room 354," Puck says.
Finn looks at him questioningly and Puck grins. "I was behind St. Jackass when he was checking them in."
Puck walks him to the elevator and claps him on the back when the doors open. "Good luck, bro."
"Thanks, man."
Finn spends the ride up to the third floor hoping that he doesn't make too big a fool out of himself. He has no idea what he's going to do, but he just has to make Rachel listen to him for five minutes.
He walks up to room 354 on rubbery legs and pounds on the door. There's no answer, so he knocks again and calls loudly, "Rachel!"
Still no answer, so he bangs harder and harder until he hears someone clear their throat behind him.
Jesse stands in the doorway of Room 345, his arms crossed, Rachel peeking curiously around him. He's lost his jacket and tie, but Rachel appears to be fully dressed still.
"Can we help you?" he asks snidely. "Rachel and I are trying to have a moment."
Finn straightens himself up to his full height and grabs Jesse by the collar. He hears Rachel gasp as he glares down into the older boy's face.
Jesse winces and holds up his hands in defeat. "Just don't go for the nose," he pleads.
Finn snorts in disgust and shoves him out of the way. He hurries into the hotel room and shuts the door behind him before Jesse can protest.
"W-what are you doing?" Rachel finally manages to sputter as Jesse knocks lightly on the door.
"I did not charge this room on my father's platinum card so that you could get lucky," they hear him say. Finn slams an open palm against the door and all is silent on the other side.
"Finn, I demand an explanation!" Rachel insists, sounding more like herself.
"I need to talk to you."
"And that required you to do bodily harm to my date and barge into our hotel room, why?"
"I didn't even touch him," Finn grumbles. "And I had to talk to you before it's too late."
"Too late for what?"
He grasps clumsily at her hand. "Rachel, if you sleep with him now, you and I both know it's over between us permanently, and I-I don't want that."
She shakes her head furiously and pulls her hand away. "You can't keep doing this to me, Finn!"
"What?"
"You can't just forget about me and then decide you want me back when I decide to move on. It's not fair to either one of us."
"But –"
"And what about Quinn? Aren't you dating her again?"
"No… I don't know. If I was, I'm not anymore."
Rachel shakes her head in disbelief. "We can't just go back. We've hurt each other too much."
Finn hangs his head in shame. "I know that. And I'm sorry for my part. I should have stood up for you; I should have been open and honest with you. I should have been a lot of things that I wasn't. I mean, it doesn't excuse you kissing Puck, but I am. I'm sorry."
Rachel walks away from him and looks out the window. There's no awesome skyline like the one that they'll be seeing in New York in a few weeks, but she still looks heartbreakingly beautiful silhouetted against the glow from the Wal-Mart across the parking lot. "What did you expect to achieve by coming up here, Finn?"
"I just… when you sang that song at Regionals, something inside me clicked, you know? I know how it feels to hurt so bad and want to hurt another person just as badly. I think that's why I slept with Santana to begin with. Sometimes you put yourself first without even thinking about it, no matter who's gonna get hurt. We've both done it; we've both screwed up. But you and me, Rach? This is something that I want to get right this time. I want us to try again."
She looks up at him and worries her bottom lip in the most adorable way. "Finn, I know what you think of revenge, and I know it's petty and deplorable, but there's just something I have to do before we can continue this conversation."
"What?" he asks dumbly. She reaches for her purse and pulls out a little aerosol canister. Crap! He throws up an arm to protect his eyes. She's going to mace him!
But instead of spraying a gallon of pepper spray into his face, she skirts around him and opens the hotel room door. Jesse is sitting in the hallway, his arms propped on his knees, and he looks up in irritation. "Are you two done now?"
"Not quite," Rachel says. He thinks she's going to let Jesse have it, but to his surprise, a gooey pink line shoots out of the nozzle instead.
She unloads the entire can of Silly String all over his face and hair, and when she's finished and Jesse's sitting there in shock, she reaches over and rubs it into his hair for good measure.
"That's for egging me last year, you jerk!" she laughs. Then she turns and grabs Finn's hand, pulling him down the hallway and to the elevators. They laugh hysterically the entire way.
"You know," she giggles when the doors close behind them, "I was going to wait and do that when he was completely naked, then run out with his clothes, but I think I prefer this exit!"
Finn chuckles, relieved that Rachel didn't want anything to do with that jerk in the first place. She looks down at their hands, still clasped tightly and smiles brightly.
"Where to?" she asks.
He raises her hand to his lips and smiles against her skin. "Some place quiet," he says. "But first, you wanna dance with the Prom King?"
And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
"Somewhere Only We Know" was first featured on Keane's 2004 album, Hopes and Fears.
Author's Note: Oh my God, you guys! I can't believe I've finally finished something. I know some of you may be disappointed that it isn't a DoY or Cav update, but after nearly three months of writer's block, I'm extremely proud of myself! I hope you enjoy this little spec!fic of sorts. I have been working on my other fics, so hopefully I'll get one of those updated soon.
This fic is, as of right now, unbeta'd, so hopefully it makes sense and I don't have Finn talking in circles at the end. I hate that when they do it on the show, and I certainly don't want to be guilty of it! This is my first attempt to write something in the present tense, so if anyone with more experience in it notices anything glaringly obvious, let me know. I promise you won't hurt my feelings!
And just a note on Quinn's reference to Project Prom: When I Googled it, I was surprised to find only links from the school district I graduated from – but I'm sure it's a pretty common thing. It's pretty much a school sponsored after party so that people don't go out and get drunk and/or knocked up. Ours was actually pretty fun!
Disclaimer: Glee is the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. I'm just manipulating it for my own nefarious (and strictly nonprofit) purposes.