It was dark by the time Merlin began walking home.
He'd been to hang out with a few of his friends; he'd meant to be home earlier, but they'd got distracted talking and watching reruns of Doctor Who. And so he was walking home through post-midnight York, humming along to his iPod and trying to decide whether or not to get something to eat when he got in.
As he reached the door, he unplugged his headphones and put them in his pocket before taking out his house keys and unlocking the door.
The house was quiet as he went in. Odd. Normally his housemates were cooking in the kitchen around now, or loudly arguing with the TV in the living room. He frowned.
"Hello?" he called up the stairs.
Suddenly there was a commotion from the floor above. The door to Gwaine's room opened with a bang, and Merlin's three housemates came running down the stairs. Leon was clutching a cricket bat, Gwaine a penknife and Arthur Merlin's large red saucepan. Merlin's jaw dropped as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Merlin!" Leon exclaimed, beaming and lowering the cricket bat. "It's you!"
Gwaine and Arthur had both lowered the things they were holding and relaxed. Merlin found his voice.
"Of course it's me, you nutters!" he managed. "What the hell are you doing?"
"We're not the nutters," Gwaine replied, gesturing with the penknife before catching Merlin's expression and putting it hastily in his pocket.
"How do you explain this, then?" Merlin asked in exasperation. "Arthur?"
The tall blond was attempting to hold the saucepan casually and not succeeding.
"There was a creep banging on the door," he said. Leon and Gwaine backed him up.
"Yeah, and it wouldn't stop –"
"We thought he was going to break in –"
"So you holed up in Gwaine's room until I got back?" Merlin asked, beginning to see the funny side now that he'd got past the shock. The other three looked offended.
"We weren't hiding, Merlin," Arthur said scathingly. The other two shook their heads, but Merlin was grinning.
"Yes, you were. Three big football players waiting for the nerd to get home," he teased. The three of them looked outraged, but Merlin just walked past them and up the stairs to his room.
"Call me if you need any more mothering," he called over his shoulder.
A week later, there was an article in the news about a man walking around houses in their area, banging on doors and flashing those who opened them. Arthur, Leon and Gwaine had to bribe Merlin with chocolate to stop him from telling anyone.
A/N: Believe it or not, this genuinely happened to me and my friends in second year. I was the one with the saucepan (which is actually mine), and my friend was in Merlin's place. She has since been given the title of "House Mother".
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H