What Just Happened?
"Link! We have to go see the Princess!" Navi squeaked. Again.
"Yes, Navi, for the last time, I KNOW!" Link groaned, massaging his head. He had just been thrown out of the gatehouse by two guards.
"Link, the Great Deku Tree…" Navi started to say, but Link took out his slingshot and aimed it at the glow in the dark ping-pong ball with wings.
"Finish that sentence Navi, and you'll be my next Deku nut!" Link growled. Navi gulped, and finally shut the hell up!
Link sighed heavily, but saw someone standing by some vines. Malon.
"Oh, hi there fairy boy! Are you trying to get in the castle too?" Malon asked him, giggling.
What is it with girls and giggling? Link wondered. "Yeah, but I got tossed out."
"I'm waiting for Dad. I think he might have fallen asleep again!" Malon giggled. Her high-pitched voice, overly-happy demeanor, and loud giggling were grating on Link's nerves. "If you see him, will you wake him up for me?"
"Yeah, sure," Link said, distracted. He was really interested in these vines.
Malon handed him an egg.
"An egg. Seriously?" Link asked, raising his eyebrows.
"It'll hatch soon. Use it to wake my dad up," Malon explained, still grinning. Link nodded blankly.
Finally, Link climbed the vines, and found himself taller than the gate.
"Cool!" he yelled. Then he ran towards the castle.
"This is easy!" Link whispered-yelled while he ran around two guards.
"Don't get too cocky!" Navi warned in a smug voice.
"I KNOW, NAVI!!!" Link yelled, and narrowly hid behind a bush from a sharp-eared guard.
He heard snoring waaaaaaaaaaaay before he saw Talon. When he got to Talon, the sun was on the horizon, and a new day was breaking.
Lazy ass, Link thought. He pulled out a recently hatched chicken.
"COCKADOODLEDOO!" It crowed. Talon jerked awake.
"Huh? Wha'? It's mornin'? Aw, Malon's gonna be so mad!" and he ran away faster than Link ever thought a big man could run.
"Wow. He's scared of his own daughter. Sad," Navi shook her head.
"Yup," Link agreed, and he began to push some large crates around.
"What are you doing?!" Navi cried as she heard glass breaking as Link pushed a crate off the ledge.
"I'm making a ledge, Navi," Link mocked her squeaky voice. She humphed.
He pushed another on the one he dropped, and then climbed on it.
"That's going to be—" Navi started, but Link had already jumped and grabbed onto a ledge that made a waterfall, and crawled through the hole.
On the other side, Link got out of a pond, and realized that he was in the Royal Gardens that were teeming with not-so-bright soldiers.
He ran through the gardens and past the guards and ended up in a courtyard with a little girl in it.
"Eh, she looks harmless," Link said, and went up to her.
She turned around and his mouth dropped open. Holy Farore, she's GORGEOUS! He thought, completely smitten.
"Hello! Are you from the forest? Do you have the Spiritual Emerald?" she asked excitedly.
"Yes, actually, I do," and he held it out to her. She laughed a musical laugh.
"I'm Zelda, Princess of Hyrule," she said, still smiling a beautiful smile. Holy Farore, she's the Princess!
She told him everything, her dreams, her suspicions, her hopes, and he clung to her every word.
Then their conversation was done, and it was time for him to go, escorted by Impa. But he didn't want to leave just yet.
He started to turn and leave, but turned back to Zelda, grabbed her hand, kissed her lips, and ran for his life, running smack into Impa who was trying her hardest not to laugh.
Zelda was shocked speechless. Touching her lips, she wondered out-loud, "What just happened?"
.*.*.*
"Link, Link, it's time for you to awaken as the Hero of Time," the voice said.
"Shuddup, Navi, five more minutes," Link mumbled.
"That's not me!" Navi cried, hurt that he assumed it was her.
"Link!" the voice bellowed.
"WHAT?!" Link yelled back, and then realized that his voice was about two octaves deeper.
And he was at a fountain-like place, and a fat old guy was standing across from him rambling about a sword that Link had in his hand.
"Suddenly Link was back in the Temple of Time, seriously weirded out.
"Holy shit, Link! You're pubescent!" Navi yelled. Link just stood there, dazed.
"What just happened?" he asked.
.*.*.*
"I am about to reveal my greatest secret," Sheik said mysteriously, and something glowed on the back of his right hand.
Suddenly Zelda was standing where Sheik had been.
"What just happened?" Link freaked out, rubbing his eyes, and staring at Zelda.
.*.*.*
It was really boring floating around in a giant purple crystal, listening to Ganondorf play his damn organ over and over, starving, and seeing mirages like an epic battle between Link and Ganondorf…
Suddenly the crystal shattered and she was falling—
And two strong arms caught her, lowering her to the ground. A large hand took hers, and she looked into two beautiful blue eyes.
"What just happened?" Zelda asked faintly.
.*.*.*
The castle crumbled as they escaped, burying Ganondorf in its debris. Link and Zelda let out a huge relieved sigh. Link turned to Zelda, and he smiled at her. His brash kiss in the courtyard seven years ago was coming to the forefront of his mind, and it was making him blush. He rubbed the back of his neck in his embarrassment.
"Link, you're blushing!" Navi squealed slyly. Link closed his eyes and wished for a flyswatter. Zelda blushed for him.
Zelda opened her mouth to say something, but the ruins of Ganondorf's lair started rumbling, and Ganondorf emerged from the rubble and right before their astonished eyes, morphed into a hideous monster.
"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" Link and Zelda screamed.
.*.*.*
Ganondorf had finally been sealed away and Link and Zelda were floating, literally, in their own little world.
"You can't be so hard on yourself, Zelda. You did the best you could at ten years old," Link reassured her.
"But not enough. Never enough. You truly are a Hero, Link. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart," Zelda said.
"I'd rather have your heart itself," Link mumbled.
"What?"
Link took a deep breath, but Navi interrupted, screaming, "Don't say it, Link!"
"NAVI, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Link and Zelda yelled. Navi huffed, and flew a distance away, griping.
Zelda and Link turned back to each other. "I love you, Zelda," Link finally said, blushing furiously, and rubbing the back of his neck raw.
"Zelda gasped. She remembered that quick, brash kiss he had given her seven years ago. She remembered how every time Sheik mentioned Zelda, Link would cling to every word about her.
And she remembered how much she grew to love him in those seven years.
"I love you too, Link," she whispered, and he drew her to him so they touched. He was about a head taller than her, but he didn't care. He kissed her tenderly and lovingly, making fire spread through their bodies.
Navi turned around and saw the Princess and Hero kissing gently. Giddy with excitement, she flew over to them after they parted, smiling at each other.
"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" Navi bellowed excitedly.
"Navi!!!" They yelled at her, annoyed that she would interrupt their moment. Navi ignored them.
"I hope you guys don't have kids right away," she sniffed.
Blushing, Zelda captured Navi with magic, and sent it as far away as possible.
Grinning, Link gathered Zelda close to him and kissed her passionately.
Shaking off the magic and staring at the kissing couple, Navi huffed.
"What just happened?"