Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to Square. GT3 belongs to Polyphony and Sony. PS2 and Dual shock2 and PS1 all belong to Sony. And uhh...anything else that belongs to anyone belongs to them and not me.
Cloud sat, a seemingly normal Dual Shock controller resting in his hands. The rest of the FFVII crew sat or stood in various places of Cloud's room.
Yuffie: "Hey Cloud, I didn't know you wore boxers!"
Cloud suddenly begins to yell and scream at the TV screen.
Barret: "What the hell?"
Cid: "He lost the $%@##%$ race, that son of %#@$@ pulled out in front of him at the %#@$#@% finish line, that !@$ hole!"
Yuffie, who know had a pair of Cloud's boxers on her head: "Jeez Cid, you're more into this game than Cloud."
Cloud, who is continually slamming the controller into the ground: "Damnit all to Sephiroth's tomb!"
Sephiroth: "That's not funny."
Tifa: "I thought it was."
Sephiroth then sticks his togue out at Tifa, Tifa flips him off.
Aeris: "Wow, the graphics on this game are pretty good."
Cid: "No %#@$ sherlock? It's only Gran Turismo Three!"
Vincent: "Grand what?"
Cid: "GRAN TOURISMO THREE!!! The pinacle of human creation. Graphics that rival life!"
Aeris: "I think FMV is better."
Cloud: "I wonder why people even like this game, it sucks."
Cid: "IT SUCKS!?!?! Gimme that %#@$% controller!" Cid proceeds to grab the controller and begin racing. He spins out on the first turn. "%@#$#@%&)#@(&%@#($&5$(@#$7%!@&$)# THIS GAME SUCKS!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone begins to laugh until Cid turns on them with his Spear. Sephiroth draws his Masamune.
Sephiroth: "HAHAHA I am the only one with enough skill to control this sword. Now I will prove that I can do the same with that controller!"
Sephiroth takes the Dual Shock2 (c playstation 2 sony etc) He restarts the race and begins to drive. At first he seems to do alright until he spins out, three times in a row.
Sephiroth: "Damnit! It cheats!!" He rips out the controller, tosses it into the air, and slashes it in half.
Cloud: "HEY!!"
Red, who is clunked on the head by half the controller and awoken from his nap. "Excuse me, but if I could just get a little rest for once."
Yuffie: "Then why're ya at Cloud's?"
Red: "I...uh...hummmm..."
Yuffie shakes her head in dismay, the boxers shifting about on her head.
Tifa: "Yuffie, what the hell are you doing with Cloud's boxers?"
Yuffie: "I uhh...well..."
Aeris begins to laugh insanely: "I wonder if Cloud ever soiled em!!"
Yuffie immediatly rips them off and throughs them at Cloud, who has resumed play with his extra controller, which happened to cost him 500,000 gil. The boxers fall over his face, yet he somehow continues driving with his eyes covered.
Cid: "Holy hell! He made the mind link with the Playstation2, he had achieved a new level of being!"
Barret: "Why the %@$# haven't I been talking?"
Everyone looks strangely at Barret, who appears he has just snapped out of a deep sleep. They shrug in unison.
Barret: "%#@$!!! Look at those graphics!!! Hey Cloud, use a summon to blast that guy in front of you!"
Cid: "There are no summons in Gran Tourismo Three!"
Barret: "No summons?!?! What the hell? Guns? Bullets? Materia?"
Cid: "No. No. No."
Barret: "You're sure?"
Cid: Yes."
Barret: No materia?"
Cid: "NO!"
Barret: Positive?"
Yuffie smacks Barret over the head with half of the broken controller. Barret falls back into the deep sleep.
Cloud wins the race and snaps out of his mind link. "Hey! Who put these on my head? These are the pants I crapped in!"
Yuffie turns green as everyone else laughs.
Sephiroth: "Give me another try at that game, I'm sure i'll get it this time."
The group watches as Barret selects a car and a course.
Tifa: "What does Endurance Race mean?"
Cid: "The longest races in the game."
Aeris: "Oh great..."
Cait Sith: "I predict another broken controller, and since I predicted it, it will come true."
Yuffie: "You're so full of yourself!"
Cloud: "Is it my turn yet?"
Sephiroth: "Shut up! I just started damnit!"
Cloud: "Howabout now?"
Sephiroth: "Grrr!"
Cloud huddles into the corner.
Squall suddenly walks into the room.
Squall: "Hey whoa, look at those graphics. They're not much compared to FFVIII, but compared to FFVII..."
Cloud: Shut up Squall, no one likes you!"
Fans of FFVIII burst into the room (all five of em).
Squall: "See, I DO have faithful followers!"
Crew of FFVII burst into laughter.
Squall: "I don't see any fans of FFVII here. So there!"
Sephiroth spins out in the game. "DAMNIT I WAS WINNING!!" He gets up, sees the five new commers, slashes them into nothing then goes back to his endurance race.
Squall: "Umm...hey, that wasn't very nice.
Sephiroth: "Shut up you anti-social reject."
Squall turns his back on the group: "Hmpff, I'm not talking to you guys."
Cloud: "Is that supposed to make us mad?"
Squall: "I'm not talking to you so I can't answer."
Yuffie: "But you just did."
Squall: "SHUT UP YOU SLUT!!!"
Yuffie: "I'm not a slut!"
Squall: "You're pants are undone!"
Aeris: "He has a point."
Yuffie bitch slaps Squall and does up her pants.
Squall: "I feel rejected!!" He then begins to cry.
Rinoa runs into the room: "Oh Squall, what's wrong?"
Squall, stops crying: "Nothing."
Rinoa: "That's all you ever say!"
Squall: "Nothing."
Rinoa: "Damnit Squall carry on a normal conversation!"
Squall: "Nothing, I'm fine."
Cloud: "That's it, let's fight!"
Red suddenly wakes up: "Yes, ready your weapons, and prepare your materia."
Squall looks around confused. "What the hell is a materia?"
Cid: "Gawd, they don't know what materia is! How do they manage to fight?"
Squall: "We use guardian forces!"
Tifa: "Hey, I heard of those, don't they make you lose your memory and stuff. That's really gotta suck."
Squall: "Well uhh...yea..."
Cloud takes out a red materia and it begins to glow. He summons Ifirt.
Squall: "Hey I have an If-" He is cut off as he is burnt to a crisp. "Owwy."
Sephiroth: "DAMNIT!! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE BE QUIET!! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!!"
Zell walks in punching and kicking: "Hey hey hey! Who wants to fight me?"
Tifa raises her hand: "OO OO ME ME!! I haven't had a good fight in a long time."
Zell: "Sorry, I don't like to fight women."
Tifa stands up, walks over to Zell and begins beating on him. After a while Zell attempts to fight back, but instead is beaten on even harder.
Zell: "I give I give!! I want my mommy!!!"
Rinoa: "Hey wait for me!"
The two run out of the room, leaving Squall's charred body behind.
Sephiroth: "I WIN!!! YOU SUCK AND YOU SUCK AND YOU SUCK!!! I RULE EVERYTHING!!! I AM THE CHAMPION!!!"
Everyone: ...
Sephiroth: "Don't you appreciate a true champion when you see one."
Everyone: "Nope."
Sephiroth shakes his head and sits down on the bed.
Red: "I would like to try this FFVIII game."
Cloud: "You don't have hands Red."
Red: "Damnit. You're telling me they don't make a controller for my species."
Cloud: "I..umm...don't think so."
Red: "That's it, I'm sueing."
Yuffie: "Uhh ok..."
Cid: "Red's right."
Tifa: "He is?"
Cid: "Yea, I wanna see what this FFVIII game is like."
The go down to the local video game shop and buy the game, then go back and put it into their PS2.
Barret: "Wow, I'm alive."
Yuffie bonks Barret over the head with a frying pan.
Cloud: "Oo, backwards compatibility."
Cid: "Don't you have a PS1 already?"
Cloud: "Oh yea...well its still cool!"
Cid: "Sure...whatever."
The group begins to take turns playing them game.
Tifa, who is pulling her hair: "Why does it have to be so boring? I mean, what's the point? Is there a story line?"
Cloud: "I think its to destroy the sorceress that we haven't even heard about yet."
Cid: "Ultimicia. I read about it on the internet."
Sephiroth: "What a loser villian."
Suddenly a boss fight begins with Cloud at the controller.
Cloud disposes quickly of the villian with only a few moves.
Cloud: "Wow, this game sure is easy, boring and long."
The rest just nod and begin to wander about Cloud's room, looking for something else.
Yuffie: "MATERIA!!!"
Cloud: "Hey! Dont' touch!"
Yuffie grabs the materia and runs off.
Cloud jumps up after her. "Hey, wait, gimme that back!"
Barret, who has woken up again takes the controller and begins to play. He dies in the next fight he gets in.
Barret: "G#@$&#@)%*&#@)$(*#&!@%*!()$)#@%$ I HATE THIS!!!" He then takes his gun arm, shoots the PS2, the screen, and the controller.
Sephiroth: "Oh great, now you've done it."
Cid: "Cloud's gonna be pissed. He spent a lot of Gil on that baby."
Barret: "I uhh...whoops."
Yuffie runs back in, panting: "Phew, I lost him I think."
Cloud jumps through the door and tackles Yuffie.
Tifa: "CLOUD!!"
Cloud and Yuffie both turn red.
Cloud: "I uhh..."
Yuffie: "Mind getting off?"
Cloud: "Uhh...I...uhh..."
Sephiroth picks Cloud up by the collar. "Dumb ass."
Cloud: "Hey wait! I need my materia."
Yuffie: "Here." She throws them at him.
They both miss and hit Sephiroth in the head.
Sephiroth: "Ow! Stupid little girl."
Yuffie jumps up and Sephiroth chases after her.
Cloud: "What the hell happened to my state of the art entertainment center known as the Playstation2?"
Barret whistling, quietly shuffles toward the door.
Cloud turns his attention to Barret, his Buster Sword drawn.
Barret: "It was ahh...well...lemme explain...you see-"
Cloud: "OMNISLASH!!!"
Barret: "AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" After the Omnislash Barret lays cut and bruised on the floor.
Cloud: "Oops..." He then gets out his PS1 and begins to play it. The others huddle around in silence, not wanting to upset Cloud, and watch as he plays through FFIX.
Sephiroth: "I'll get you Yuffie!"
_-End-_
Cloud sat, a seemingly normal Dual Shock controller resting in his hands. The rest of the FFVII crew sat or stood in various places of Cloud's room.
Yuffie: "Hey Cloud, I didn't know you wore boxers!"
Cloud suddenly begins to yell and scream at the TV screen.
Barret: "What the hell?"
Cid: "He lost the $%@##%$ race, that son of %#@$@ pulled out in front of him at the %#@$#@% finish line, that !@$ hole!"
Yuffie, who know had a pair of Cloud's boxers on her head: "Jeez Cid, you're more into this game than Cloud."
Cloud, who is continually slamming the controller into the ground: "Damnit all to Sephiroth's tomb!"
Sephiroth: "That's not funny."
Tifa: "I thought it was."
Sephiroth then sticks his togue out at Tifa, Tifa flips him off.
Aeris: "Wow, the graphics on this game are pretty good."
Cid: "No %#@$ sherlock? It's only Gran Turismo Three!"
Vincent: "Grand what?"
Cid: "GRAN TOURISMO THREE!!! The pinacle of human creation. Graphics that rival life!"
Aeris: "I think FMV is better."
Cloud: "I wonder why people even like this game, it sucks."
Cid: "IT SUCKS!?!?! Gimme that %#@$% controller!" Cid proceeds to grab the controller and begin racing. He spins out on the first turn. "%@#$#@%&)#@(&%@#($&5$(@#$7%!@&$)# THIS GAME SUCKS!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone begins to laugh until Cid turns on them with his Spear. Sephiroth draws his Masamune.
Sephiroth: "HAHAHA I am the only one with enough skill to control this sword. Now I will prove that I can do the same with that controller!"
Sephiroth takes the Dual Shock2 (c playstation 2 sony etc) He restarts the race and begins to drive. At first he seems to do alright until he spins out, three times in a row.
Sephiroth: "Damnit! It cheats!!" He rips out the controller, tosses it into the air, and slashes it in half.
Cloud: "HEY!!"
Red, who is clunked on the head by half the controller and awoken from his nap. "Excuse me, but if I could just get a little rest for once."
Yuffie: "Then why're ya at Cloud's?"
Red: "I...uh...hummmm..."
Yuffie shakes her head in dismay, the boxers shifting about on her head.
Tifa: "Yuffie, what the hell are you doing with Cloud's boxers?"
Yuffie: "I uhh...well..."
Aeris begins to laugh insanely: "I wonder if Cloud ever soiled em!!"
Yuffie immediatly rips them off and throughs them at Cloud, who has resumed play with his extra controller, which happened to cost him 500,000 gil. The boxers fall over his face, yet he somehow continues driving with his eyes covered.
Cid: "Holy hell! He made the mind link with the Playstation2, he had achieved a new level of being!"
Barret: "Why the %@$# haven't I been talking?"
Everyone looks strangely at Barret, who appears he has just snapped out of a deep sleep. They shrug in unison.
Barret: "%#@$!!! Look at those graphics!!! Hey Cloud, use a summon to blast that guy in front of you!"
Cid: "There are no summons in Gran Tourismo Three!"
Barret: "No summons?!?! What the hell? Guns? Bullets? Materia?"
Cid: "No. No. No."
Barret: "You're sure?"
Cid: Yes."
Barret: No materia?"
Cid: "NO!"
Barret: Positive?"
Yuffie smacks Barret over the head with half of the broken controller. Barret falls back into the deep sleep.
Cloud wins the race and snaps out of his mind link. "Hey! Who put these on my head? These are the pants I crapped in!"
Yuffie turns green as everyone else laughs.
Sephiroth: "Give me another try at that game, I'm sure i'll get it this time."
The group watches as Barret selects a car and a course.
Tifa: "What does Endurance Race mean?"
Cid: "The longest races in the game."
Aeris: "Oh great..."
Cait Sith: "I predict another broken controller, and since I predicted it, it will come true."
Yuffie: "You're so full of yourself!"
Cloud: "Is it my turn yet?"
Sephiroth: "Shut up! I just started damnit!"
Cloud: "Howabout now?"
Sephiroth: "Grrr!"
Cloud huddles into the corner.
Squall suddenly walks into the room.
Squall: "Hey whoa, look at those graphics. They're not much compared to FFVIII, but compared to FFVII..."
Cloud: Shut up Squall, no one likes you!"
Fans of FFVIII burst into the room (all five of em).
Squall: "See, I DO have faithful followers!"
Crew of FFVII burst into laughter.
Squall: "I don't see any fans of FFVII here. So there!"
Sephiroth spins out in the game. "DAMNIT I WAS WINNING!!" He gets up, sees the five new commers, slashes them into nothing then goes back to his endurance race.
Squall: "Umm...hey, that wasn't very nice.
Sephiroth: "Shut up you anti-social reject."
Squall turns his back on the group: "Hmpff, I'm not talking to you guys."
Cloud: "Is that supposed to make us mad?"
Squall: "I'm not talking to you so I can't answer."
Yuffie: "But you just did."
Squall: "SHUT UP YOU SLUT!!!"
Yuffie: "I'm not a slut!"
Squall: "You're pants are undone!"
Aeris: "He has a point."
Yuffie bitch slaps Squall and does up her pants.
Squall: "I feel rejected!!" He then begins to cry.
Rinoa runs into the room: "Oh Squall, what's wrong?"
Squall, stops crying: "Nothing."
Rinoa: "That's all you ever say!"
Squall: "Nothing."
Rinoa: "Damnit Squall carry on a normal conversation!"
Squall: "Nothing, I'm fine."
Cloud: "That's it, let's fight!"
Red suddenly wakes up: "Yes, ready your weapons, and prepare your materia."
Squall looks around confused. "What the hell is a materia?"
Cid: "Gawd, they don't know what materia is! How do they manage to fight?"
Squall: "We use guardian forces!"
Tifa: "Hey, I heard of those, don't they make you lose your memory and stuff. That's really gotta suck."
Squall: "Well uhh...yea..."
Cloud takes out a red materia and it begins to glow. He summons Ifirt.
Squall: "Hey I have an If-" He is cut off as he is burnt to a crisp. "Owwy."
Sephiroth: "DAMNIT!! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE BE QUIET!! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!!"
Zell walks in punching and kicking: "Hey hey hey! Who wants to fight me?"
Tifa raises her hand: "OO OO ME ME!! I haven't had a good fight in a long time."
Zell: "Sorry, I don't like to fight women."
Tifa stands up, walks over to Zell and begins beating on him. After a while Zell attempts to fight back, but instead is beaten on even harder.
Zell: "I give I give!! I want my mommy!!!"
Rinoa: "Hey wait for me!"
The two run out of the room, leaving Squall's charred body behind.
Sephiroth: "I WIN!!! YOU SUCK AND YOU SUCK AND YOU SUCK!!! I RULE EVERYTHING!!! I AM THE CHAMPION!!!"
Everyone: ...
Sephiroth: "Don't you appreciate a true champion when you see one."
Everyone: "Nope."
Sephiroth shakes his head and sits down on the bed.
Red: "I would like to try this FFVIII game."
Cloud: "You don't have hands Red."
Red: "Damnit. You're telling me they don't make a controller for my species."
Cloud: "I..umm...don't think so."
Red: "That's it, I'm sueing."
Yuffie: "Uhh ok..."
Cid: "Red's right."
Tifa: "He is?"
Cid: "Yea, I wanna see what this FFVIII game is like."
The go down to the local video game shop and buy the game, then go back and put it into their PS2.
Barret: "Wow, I'm alive."
Yuffie bonks Barret over the head with a frying pan.
Cloud: "Oo, backwards compatibility."
Cid: "Don't you have a PS1 already?"
Cloud: "Oh yea...well its still cool!"
Cid: "Sure...whatever."
The group begins to take turns playing them game.
Tifa, who is pulling her hair: "Why does it have to be so boring? I mean, what's the point? Is there a story line?"
Cloud: "I think its to destroy the sorceress that we haven't even heard about yet."
Cid: "Ultimicia. I read about it on the internet."
Sephiroth: "What a loser villian."
Suddenly a boss fight begins with Cloud at the controller.
Cloud disposes quickly of the villian with only a few moves.
Cloud: "Wow, this game sure is easy, boring and long."
The rest just nod and begin to wander about Cloud's room, looking for something else.
Yuffie: "MATERIA!!!"
Cloud: "Hey! Dont' touch!"
Yuffie grabs the materia and runs off.
Cloud jumps up after her. "Hey, wait, gimme that back!"
Barret, who has woken up again takes the controller and begins to play. He dies in the next fight he gets in.
Barret: "G#@$&#@)%*&#@)$(*#&!@%*!()$)#@%$ I HATE THIS!!!" He then takes his gun arm, shoots the PS2, the screen, and the controller.
Sephiroth: "Oh great, now you've done it."
Cid: "Cloud's gonna be pissed. He spent a lot of Gil on that baby."
Barret: "I uhh...whoops."
Yuffie runs back in, panting: "Phew, I lost him I think."
Cloud jumps through the door and tackles Yuffie.
Tifa: "CLOUD!!"
Cloud and Yuffie both turn red.
Cloud: "I uhh..."
Yuffie: "Mind getting off?"
Cloud: "Uhh...I...uhh..."
Sephiroth picks Cloud up by the collar. "Dumb ass."
Cloud: "Hey wait! I need my materia."
Yuffie: "Here." She throws them at him.
They both miss and hit Sephiroth in the head.
Sephiroth: "Ow! Stupid little girl."
Yuffie jumps up and Sephiroth chases after her.
Cloud: "What the hell happened to my state of the art entertainment center known as the Playstation2?"
Barret whistling, quietly shuffles toward the door.
Cloud turns his attention to Barret, his Buster Sword drawn.
Barret: "It was ahh...well...lemme explain...you see-"
Cloud: "OMNISLASH!!!"
Barret: "AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" After the Omnislash Barret lays cut and bruised on the floor.
Cloud: "Oops..." He then gets out his PS1 and begins to play it. The others huddle around in silence, not wanting to upset Cloud, and watch as he plays through FFIX.
Sephiroth: "I'll get you Yuffie!"
_-End-_