Spike Doesn't Like My Story

Prologue:

Once upon a time, in a different dimension, there was a brave knight called Speedy Lionhardt.

"Wait! Stop! STOP!"

"Hmm? What is it, Spike?"

"First sentence in and you already managed to force your own character into this story! No-one was told about this! No-one is waiting for this! Look, everyone is already losing faith in this story!"

"J-Just wait for a bit. Let me at least finish the first paragraph, man."

"Hmph."

So, as I was saying, once upon a time, there was a brave knight called Speedy Lionhardt. He might be brave, however, there weren't really any things he could be brave in. To summarize, nothing ever happened. So, while in name a brave knight, Speedy Lionhardt was actually a lazy jerk, living from his own (false) reputation that he himself had spread among the population. However, one day, something DID happen and our "brave" knight was all but happy with that.

That day, Speedy's morning started when three ponies crashed through his door and two windows. Speedy, whom had been lying in his bed, perhaps dreaming of an award ceremony for his outstanding bravery, opened his eyes at once at the deafening sound that the three ponies produced with their actions. Unlike what Speedy initially assumed, the sound had not been produced by robbers, a horde of angry chickens or even a horde of attractive lady-ponies, but by three young ponies that he knew very well. Along with that, Speedy also realized that he had no windows anymore. Nor a door.

"Wake up, Mr. Lionhardt!" one of the three young ponies, an orange one with purple manes, yelled at the top of his lungs.

Speedy's mouth fell open and his jaw hit the floor with the speed of light, unconsciously setting a new world record.

"My windows!" he yelled.

"Mr. Lionhardt, you've been summoned by the King and Queen!" a white pony with pink and lavender manes yelled.

"My DOOR!" Mr. Lionhardt then yelled.

"Quick! We must hurry to the palace as fast as possible!" the last of the three, a yellow pony with red manes yelled, following her two friends' example.

"WHY are you here!?" Mr. Lionhardt yelled at the three young ponies.

"We just told you, Mr. Lionhardt," The yellow pony told Speedy, "Y'are expected to arrive at the palace's throne room five minutes from now."

Mr. Lionhardt grumbled as he laid his head on his pillow again.

"Tell them to move the award ceremony to 4 o'clock," Speedy said, as he turned himself away from the three ponies, planning to continue sleeping. The three ponies looked at each other for a moment.

"Scoot, you take his front-hooves. Sweetie, you take his back-hooves. Ah'll take the tail," the yellow pony said.

"Roger," Sweetie Belle replied.

"Got it, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo responded with a huge grin on his face.

It took Speedy's sleepy head five seconds to process the young ponies' words and another five to realize exactly what their plan was. At that point, it was too late for the poor Speedy. The three ponies giggled and laughed as they dragged Mr. Lionhardt out of his beloved bed and no struggling and screaming could get Speedy back in his bed. But that didn't mean Speedy didn't try. Alas, all effort was in vain, and when Mr. Lionhardt was standing in the throne room, he was convinced that he had covered the bigger part of morning excercises of next month with this one morning. Behind him, with big grins, stood the three ponies, Scootaloo (the orange one), Apple Bloom (the yellow one) and Sweetie Belle (the white one). In front of him, stood, in all their glory and excellency, the King and Queen of Equestria, Luna and Celestia.

"Uhm, Luna's a girl."

"You want me to make Celestia the King?"

"THAT'S NOT MY POINT! You can't genderbend anything in this story!"

"But it makes so much more sense to use both a King and Queen… Besides this is another dimension!"

"I said "no genderbending in this story"! Change it! No-one likes their favorite characters genderbent!"

"No-one?"

"Okay, maybe some people… BUT GENDERBENDING IS STILL NOT ALLOWED!"

"Okay, okay."

In front of him, stood, in all their glory and excellency, the two Queens of Equestria, Luna and Celestia.

"So, are they lesbi-"

"DON'T GO THERE!"

"Fine."

"We are glad you could come this quickly and I and my sister are sorry for calling you here on such a short notice," Celestia apologized as she did two steps forward.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Your Excellency," Speedy responded quickly, "I would sacrifice my desire to sleep for the kingdom if you would wish so, My Queen."

Speedy neatly bowed. Behind him, Scootaloo had started giggling as Speedy said that. Speedy glared back at Scootaloo angrily, but that didn't stop Scootaloo in the least. Celestia paid no mind to the youths behind Speedy and continued talking.

"Oh, don't worry, no such measures will be taken. To the matter at hand, you might already have an idea as to the reason why we called you here."

Speedy started digging in his memories. Did something happen recently? He couldn't recall doing anything wrong lately. Or doing anything at all. He had no idea why he had been called here.

"Pardon me, but I cannot think of anything that would make the Queen summon me to her wonderful palace," Speedy told the queen not minding the amount of words he used to tell her he didn't know.

"Very well. Last night, our daughter, Princess Rarity, has been kidnapped," Celestia said.

"WHAT?!" Speedy said in utter surprise, before realizing that he had just been yelling "what?!" right into the Queen's face and quickly regained his composure, "Pardon me, kidnapped you say? When did this happen!?"

Queen Celestia coughed. Somehow, Speedy didn't realize he'd just asked a question that had already been answered. The ever-so-kind Celestia didn't mind answering his question again.

"Last night, Sir Lionhardt," Celestia said.

"That's terrible!" Speedy exclaimed, "Did they catch the culprit yet?!"

"Not yet, Sir Lionhardt," Celestia replied.

"The fiend!" Speedy said, "If I'd been there, I would've stopped him for sure!"

"Suuuuuuuuure you would've," Apple Bloom joked behind Speedy.

Speedy turned around and hissed:

"Keep your funny comments to yourself!"

This only led to some snickering from the three friends.

"As you may have guessed," Celestia said, drawing the attention of all four before her to herself again, "we would like you to free our daughter."

As strange it may sound to you, dear reader, but this request surprised Speedy greatly. It also scared him.

"S-Surely, there must be other brave knights in Equestria that could save the Princess," Speedy tried to get out of this.

"Yes, there are many brave knights in Equestria," Celestia replied, "But for this, we needed our bravest knight and whoever we asked, they always said that you, Sir Speedy Lionhardt, were the bravest of all Equestria."

Speedy immediately realized that there were two options for him: Disclaim to be the bravest of Equestria or take the mission. And Speedy immediately knew what to do.

"L-Leave it to me, then," Speedy said, not able to admit he wasn't the bravest of all of Equestria, "I'll return the Princess safe and sound to Your Majesty's side!"

"I and Luna are grateful that you have accepted our request," Celestia said with a smile on her face.

"Worry not. I shall bring her back before the evening falls," Speedy boldly promised. He then coughed, "If you don't mind me asking, Your Excellency, did anyone report a direction in which the culprit fled after the kidnapping?"

"It is assumed that the culprit flew towards the Blackburn Mountains," Celestia informed Speedy.

"Ah, so it's a pegasus!" Speedy wisely deduced.

"No, a dragon," Celestia corrected the brave knight.

"Aaaaaah, a dragon," the brave knight said. There was a one-second silence.

"Wait, what?!"

The brave knight realized what exactly this meant, as he started to regret his decision to take up the Queen's request. The brave knight then also realized that the reason everyone had referred to him as the bravest in all of Equestria was because everyone was else was too scared to save the princess out of the clutches of a freaking dragon. He had to get out of this! He had to! Somehow!

"A-a-a dragon?" Speedy asked, shaking from fear, "Is this something we're one hundred percent of?"

"Pegasi generally don't spew forth fire as they go," Celestia said.

"F-f-f-f-fire!? The dragon spews fire?! Are you sure of this!?"

"Most certainly," Celestia confirmed, "The dragon lit up the sky, making it seem like it was day. It is thus thoroughly surprising that you had not noticed a single thing last night."

"Y-Yes, thoroughly surprising indeed," Speedy repeated, mentally only half present at this point. The surpressed snickers from the three young ponies behind him didn't reach his mind anymore and he couldn't care less about them at this point. He was looking death straight in his face. And death has a very scary face. A dragon-face to be exact.

"His name is Spike," Celestia informed Speedy, whom was on the verge of fainting.

"I KNEW IT!"

"Was it too obvious?"

"This is not what you promised me!"

"You wanted an important role, right?"

"But not as an antagonist!"

"Well, then what?"

"A hero! Swap me with Speedy! How dare you make the hero your own character! That's not popular at all!"

After Speedy's conversation with Celestia, the brave knight stumbled out of the palace with eyes that seemed to stare into nothingness, followed by three ponies that just couldn't stop laughing.

"HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME! I'M MAKING A VALID POINT HERE!"

Apple Bloom caught up with Speedy.

"How 'bout we accompany you, so you don't feel lonely on your way, Mr. Lionhardt."

This snapped Speedy out of his half-zombie state.

"Forget it… you can go alone! I'm out of here!" Speedy said, as he started galloping away.

"That's not the correct direction!" Apple Bloom yelled at her.

"Exactly how I want it!" Speedy yelled back, as he turned around a corner. Apple Bloom stood still and let Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle catch up with her.

"What a coward," Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle snickered.

"Aren't you a little too relaxed, Sweetie?" Apple Bloom said to her friend, "After all, that's your sister that dragon has kidnapped."

"I'm more worried about the dragon than my sister, to be honest."

"Well, we're talking about a dragon here. She could be dead, y'know," Apple Bloom said.

"Nah, this is a child-friendly story. All the author wants with this story is make people laugh anyways," Sweetie Belle explained to her friends.

"They seem awfully confident."

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME KILL RARITY, ARE YOU?!"

"Well, probably not KILL her, but-"

"DON'T YOU DARE CONTINUE THAT THOUGHT! I'm a very kind dragon! I would never do any harm to Rarity."

"Fine, fine, you kidnapped her because you love her. Man, and here I was thinking of a sudden horror plot-twist in the story."

"Don't reveal the motives of the antagonist in the prologue! That's a spoiler!"

"I believe most already guessed your motives. You're so predictable."

"You're the one writing this story! Not me!"

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, this prologue is ending."

"Prologue? This is a prologue? It's far too long!"

"Don't whine. I like prologues! I don't want to call this the first chapter! Anyways, if you, my dear reader, managed to read this far, without rage-quitting and angrily throwing your computer, laptop or typewriter out of the window, I applaud you. Tell me what you thought about this small (long) prologue."

"It's horrible! Speedy better not show up in the second chapter."

"FIRST chapter. This is the prologue."

"YOUR PROLOGUE IS TOO LO-"

"I hope you enjoyed the story! Till next time!"

"DON'T INTERRU-"

THE END! (of the prologue)

…

…

"Those two are really hogging the spotlight, don't you think?" Scootaloo said.

"Yeah, it's unfair," Apple Bloom agreed.

Sweetie Belle enthusiastically nodded her head, standing by her friends' words.

THE REAL END (of the prologue)