He was and outcast, plain and simple. There was no other explination for what people thought he was and he knew it. They thought he was obsessed with death and involved in the occult, though anyone would think that at first glance. He drives a vintage hearse, dresses all in black and listens to loud scream-o music.
He sat in his hearse, head on the steering wheel. He had found out that a few days prior that he had lost her, that she had gotten killed on his accord. That because of their pointless fight she had taken off into the night on her bike and had gotten hit by a drunk driver, pronounced dead when someone finally found her and called the police.
This was more than he could handle, it wasn't something he thought would happen to him, happen to her. He never thought that when he answered that phone that morning that he would get such a slap in the face by the news that her grandmother had delivered to him.
"Elijah? I'm sorry to inform you, Julia has gone up to be with the Lord." Her grandmother was extremely religious and it was just her way of trying to let him down easy. Mrs. Sanchez knew that Julia stayed at Elijah's house over night frequently but she didn't know that last night was one of those nights.
She had gotten into a fight with her parents and left, just like she did almost every night of the week. Elijah met her on the porch of his house, knowing exatly what time she'd be there if it was a night that she was going to run to his house for protection. It was her safe zone, her sanctuary and he couldn't be happier to be able to give her at least that.
She dropped her bike on the sidewalk in front of Elijah's house and bolted up the stairs into his open arms. She bawled her eyes out just like almost every night. All she wanted in life was to get along with both of her parents, but apparently that was too much to ask for. He held her tight, wiped the tears off of her cheeks and kissed her forehead.
But everything went South from there. He didn't average in that he may have smelled like Gracie's perfume, though Julia knew Elijah and Gracie were best friends. She caught a wiff of his deoderant and her perfume mixed together and it set her off.
"You were with Gracie again? What the hell Eli, you know I don't like you seeing her." Elijah automatically felt horrible. They were best friends but hanging with Gracie wasn't something to lose the one person he was closest with over. He shook his head, trying to cover up the truth. He didn't want to get into another fight over hanging with Gracie, he's been friends with her since kindergarden but he loved Julia with all his heart.
"I'm sorry, she needed me, she's going through a bunch of shit lately." Julia rolled her eyes, she never wanted to hear his song and dance when it came to him being with Gracie.
"Whatever, Eli, I don't want to hear it."
"You never do, Julia! I don't understand it! I've been friends with her since Kindergarten, I'm not gonna just ditch her because you want me to!"
"I don't care, Eli, I really don't. She's always more important than me, she always has been and I'm starting to not be able to stand it. You're always there for her but when you're with her and I need you you won't leave her to be there for me."
"There are times when I can't leave her, Julia. You're both really close to me and I'm not going to lose her because you wanna be a selfish bitch!" Julia rolled her eyes and took a step back, she wasn't going to deal with this side of Eli, she'd never even seen this side of Eli before.
"I'm the selfish bitch? I'm not the one that comes knocking on your window at 1AM expecting you to listen to my bullshit cause my brother hogged the bathroom for two hours." Eli was getting mad, he wasn't going to listen to her bullshit just because she thinks she can talk to him like this.
"Whatever, I'm not gonna deal with you being a bitch just because you think you can, I want nothing to do with that. I don't know what your problem has been lately but it aint cool, and I don't want anything to do with it if it's going to cause you to act like such an asshole!" The veins in Eli's neck were popping out, indicating that he was a lot madder than he thought he was.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! It's fucking ridiculous that you're acting like this, Julia! You know how close I am to Gracie and I don't like that you're like this towards her. I'm with YOU Julia, you, not her so I don't know why you act like this everytime I hang out with her."
"Because I don't want to lose you to her that's why. I don't want to get a phone call telling me that we're over because she wants you or because you've gotten feelings for her."
"I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT'S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND." Eli screamed at the top of his lungs. She was pushing all of his buttons that she knew not to push. He walked over to the stairs and sat down, not knowing if he could support his weight if she ticked him off any further.
"WHATEVER, ELI. YOU'RE GETTING WHAT YOU WANT! I'M LEAVING, I'M GONE." she screamed. She made her way down the stairs and picked up her bike. He watched her pedal down the street, tears welling in his eyes. He had said things he didn't mean, things he knew weren't true. She was just there because it was her safe place, but what he didn't like what how she always ragged on Gracie.
The next day he was sitting in his room, trying to organize his things so he'd have more room to move around and work out when he pleased. It was an easy task seeing as he had nothing really big, just little things that could be stuck in drawers and boxes if need be. He phone started to ring and vibrate across his desk, It was her ringtone, and he couldn't be happier that she had calmed down and was calling him. But it wasn't Julia's voice that flowed through the phone when he picked it up.
"Hey love, listen, I'm sorry about yesterday." He had said, sinceriety in his voice. He was thrown into a bought of confusion when he heard who's voice flowed from the other end of the phone.
"Hello, Elijah?" It was Mrs. Sanchez, her grandmother.
"Yes?" There was no need for him to ask who he was speaking to.
"Elijah? I'm sorry to inform you, Julia has gone up to be with the Lord." His heart dropped, shattered into a million pieces.
"H-how?" he managed to utter.
"She was coming home in the dark and was hit by a drunk driver. She was with the Lord by the time someone found her and called the police." His heart caught in his throat along with his breath.
"T-thank you for letting me know, will you keep me informed on everything?"
"I will sweetheart, I'm sorry for your loss."
"I'm sorry for your loss too, Mrs. Sanchez." He hung up the phone and dropped to his knees on the floor; a heart wrenching scream erupted from his lungs. He hummed his phone across the room, it smashed against the wall and the pieces flew everywhere. He couldn't believe what he had just been told. It was the one thing he knew he couldn't take, and he knew it was all his fault.
He stumbled out of his room and down the stairs to find the one person he knew would comfort him at this moment in time.
"MOMMY?" He called out. She knew just by the tone of his voice and how he called her mommy that he was in some type of pain. Mrs. Goldsworthy rushed out of the kitchen and pulled her son into her arms as he started to collapse against his pain.
"What's wrong, baby boy?" she asked, trying to support his weight.
"She's gone, she's gone, she's gone." Was all he could utter.
"She's gone?" His mother repeated.
"Who's gone, baby boy?"
"J-J-J-Julia." He spat out. His mother shook her head,
"What happened?"
"We had a fight last night, she sped off on her bike and somewhere between here and her grandmothers, she got hit by a drunk driver and died before anyone found her and called the police." He choked out through his tears.
His mother held him, not knowing what else she could do for her hurting son. She couldn't bring his girlfriend back and they both knew that.
"I didn't even get to say sorry, to tell her I love her again. I didn't get to hug her, hold her, kiss her, nothing. I'll never hear her voice again, never hear her say my name again, never wake up next to her again."
Tears started to well up in Mrs. Goldsworthy's eyes. She didn't know what she could do for her son, but she cried with him, she loved Julia just as much as he did.
The days that led up to Julia's service were hard on Eli, as they were on the entire Sanchez-Gonzales family. They allowed Eli one choice in making the arrangements and he couldn't be happier to make that one choice. What was to be put on her headstone. They thought if anyone knew Julia inside and out it would be Elijah.
He scribbled out what he wanted on the headstone and left it in their mail box. Elijah and Mr. Gonzales didn't get along well.
'Julia Maria Sanchez
October 4, 1992 - April 22, 2009
'Loved forever, never forgotten.'
It was the day of her service and it was not a day Eli was looking forward to. The was he dressed made him look like a mortician but he could have cared less. It was a day about Julia, not him.
Tears started to sting his eyes as he stood in the line to pay his final respects with his mother. This wasn't a scene for his father and he understood where his father was coming from when he asked if it was ok for him to not go.
He saw her then, laying in the casket. She was dressed in her favorite navy blue dress, her hair lay straight down her shoulders and her blue highlights shone in the light. She looked absolutely beautiful. Eli slowly walked up to the cakset, his mother right by his side. He kneeled down on the little pew like piece of furniture in front of it and did the sign of the cross over his torso. He couldn't tear his eyes off of her face and just how peaceful she looked. The tears fell down his cheeks as reality finally hit him. Mrs. Goldsworthy stood up and he followed suit, not knowing what to do.
Eli leaned over the casket and placed a soft kiss on Julia's forehead, it was what he wanted to do, not caring if her parents had a fit. It was the last time he'd see her and he wanted to make sure she knew he loved her.
He put his hand on her forehead, careful not to mess up her hair, and rubbed where he had kissed.
"I love you, Julia, don't you ever forget that." He whispered. He felt hands on his shoulders, figuring they were his mothers he just shrugged them off. He couldn't tear himself away from her.
"Hold anyone else at the door for a few more minutes, let him say goodbye in peace." She heard Mrs. Sanchez say.
Eli closed his eyes and shook his head at the reality of it all. Julia was pale, you could tell underneath all the make-up they slopped on her. She was ice cold, her usual warmth wasn't there, not that he'd expect it to be, her heart no longer beat, her thoughts stopped completely.
"I'm sorry, Julia. I didn't mean what I said, I meant none of it. It should have never been said." He fixed a piece of her hair that had fallen off of her shoulder and felt that she was in plastic underneath the dress. She must have been really bad if they needed to put her in plastic.
"I love you, Julia. I don't want you to forget that. Meet me at the gates." He said in a normal tone, not caring who heard him at this point. He kissed his fingers and placed them on her cold lifeless lips, it was his final goodbye.
Eli finally walked over to Julia's family. Her mother took him into her arms, holding him as they both cried. It was a goodbye neither of them wanted to say.
Mrs. Sanchez had Elijah stand right inbetween her and her husband in the family line. She thought that it was exactly where Eli belonged wheather her husband liked it or not.
Her headstone was beautiful. It was all black, shined to perfection and on it was exactly what Eli hoped they would have enscribed it with.
'Julia Maria Sanchez
October 4, 1992 - April 22, 2009
"Loved forever, never forgotten.'
The casket was above the hole in the ground, ready to be lowered into it. Eli sat next to the head stone through the entire service, not wanting to be near people, to have people comfort him, that was the last thing he wanted.
After the priest said his last words the casket began being lowered into the ground. All final goodbyes going with it. Eli turned and kissed the headstone, she wasn't under it yet but he knew that she would be and he wanted there to be a kiss already waiting for her when she got to her final resting place.
"Don't think it's your fault, you guys got into a fight, so what? That didn't make the drunk driver hit her and run, it was just a horrible accident." Eli looked up and saw Julia's mother standing above him, he didn't know how she knew what had happened but he knew that he did and would always blame himself for her death. No matter what or who told him otherwise he'd still think it was his fault. If they hadn't gotten into that fight she would have slept next to him in his bed that night and wouldn't have been hit by a drunk driver and left for dead.
"I always will, if we hadn't gotten into that stupid fight this wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be watching my girlfriend be lowered into the ground."
"It's not your fault, Eli, it's that stupid idiot's for driving drunk. Had he not been drunk then my Julia wouldn't be in that casket."
Eli got up and wrapped his arms around Mrs. Sanchez. He knew she didn't deserve to bury her only child. It's the worst feeling to have to bury a child.
"This sucks." Eli whispered. Mrs. Sanchez rubbed his back, she knew exactly how he felt. Julia had meant the world to the both of them and she just couldn't believe that they weren't able to save her.
Eli sat alone in his room later that night, just thinking of everything that had went down and how he felt that it was solely his fault. If he and Julia hadn't have gotten into that fight then she wouldn't be... gone, forever. She'd still be here, lying next to him in his bed. He picked up the pillow that Julia loved. It was a small one made of memory foam and shaped like a little monster. Eli had gotten it for her for their six month anniversary and she loved it. She slept with it every night. He brought it to his nose, still catching the faint scent of her shampoo and perfume.
Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered the fight, it was the stupidest thing they could have fought over, him spending time with Gracie. Julia always had a touch of jealousy and was very insecure when it came to Eli talking to and being around other girls. She was afraid she would lose him to the next pretty girl that came around.
Eli looked at the picture he had of her sitting on his bedside table and smiled. It was a picture that he had taken of her in the community pool. Julia's mascara was running down her face, smudging around her eyes making her look like a little raccoon, and Eli couldn't help but snap a picture, she looked too cute not had fought him on framing it and keeping it next to his bed. She thought she looked so stupid and ugly, but Eli thought otherwise.
He didn't realize that he was crying until a tear splattered on glass of the frame. He couldn't help himself. He had kept it all bottled up for the entire week, not showing anyone but Julia's lifeless body his weakness, his tears. He held both the picture and the pillow to his chest, a heart wrenching sob ripping from his vocal chords. He couldn't hold it back anymore. Julia was gone and he thought it was all his fault. All he could do was cry for his loss, her family's loss, everyone that knew her's loss. He couldn't help but let the sorrow seep out of every pore in his body. She was his Julia and he knew that she would no longer occupy the bed next to him. He wouldn't wake up in the morining by her kiss, wouldn't hear her voice any longer.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." He whispered into the pillow, hoping wherever Julia was, that she'd hear his apology and would forgive him.
"I'm sorry, Julia. If I knew this was going to happen...I...I wouldn't have been so mean. I wouldn't have over reacted. I wouldn't have been such an asshole. I'm so sorry. I love you Julia and I always will."
He layed down still holding both items. He placed the picture back on his nightstand as to not ruin it and put the pillow back in its place for Julia. He rolled on his side and pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn't want to go throught this alone, but he had no choice. Julia was no longer with him and he had to find a way to get through it. To fill that void she left in his heart.
Eli looked out the window at the sky. There was one star in the darkend night sky and he knew it was her. That was where her soul decided it wanted to be. In that bright star, Julia was there with him and would always be with him until that star burned out.
"I love you Julia, I always will." was the last thing he muttered before he drifted off into sleep.