Every wedding is ruined by some complication, and even though I knew Alice had everything organized to perfection, I couldn't help but possess a strange dread to what my wedding would hold
Every wedding is ruined by some complication, and even though I knew Alice had everything organized to perfection, I couldn't help but possess a strange dread to what my wedding would hold. I wasn't worried about whether the flowers were the right color, or if the songs were all played to my satisfaction by the miniature orchestra Alice had reserved. I could care less about those things. I didn't want the wedding anyway. As a matter of fact, I would have preferred to have eloped as Edward had originally suggested, but I hated to disappoint Alice and Charlie.
Charlie. I choked back the tears each time I thought of him and how this would be the last time I would get to see him before Edward followed through with his final promise – to make me his forever. I hated the thought of leaving Charlie. I wondered how he'd possibly survived before I came to Forks. He wasn't much of a cook, and if I wasn't mistaken his diet consisted mostly of take-out pizza and fish. But as I recalled who I was trading him for – Charlie for Edward, I knew it was worth it. I could do that. I was going to do that. I'd already made my decision, and now was the time to follow through.
That final thought brought me back to my anxiety about the wedding. I'd been nearly killed so many times now that I'd lost count. Would something happen here too? Would the Volturi lose patience with Alice's promise and come today?
My heart sped up, and I saw Alice look up with curiosity from the floor as she was pinning the hem of my dress just a little shorter. She had previously seen me trip and fall during the wedding march. There had been several other changes to the wedding this week as she monitored her premonitions. We nixed the unity candles because she saw that I would drop my candle and catch the dress on fire. She also saw that we would put it out before we burned the house down, but she was more worried about the wedding gown she'd bought for me. "It's an original," she'd said. If I was wearing my favorite sweats, she probably would have let it happen so that I would finally dispose of them. She never did accept my lack of fashion sense.
"Talk to me," she sung through the pins in her teeth. Her dark pixie hair was pinned down with jewelled barrettes and the back spiked out. Her satin lavender dress fit perfectly with her petite slender figure, and then one of my original concerns came flooding back. The bride was supposed to be the most beautiful. How was that supposed to happen when I had to walk behind Alice and most of all, Rosalie, the most beautiful creature known to man?
I was surprised at how easily Rosalie accepted my request for her to join in the wedding. "I don't have a problem with you marrying Edward, Bella," she'd said. "Marriage is not the decision I'm against. Immortality is."
"I think I'm going to be sick," I said, and I saw Alice stare at me blankly for a split second. She must have seen it was going to happen, or I turned a strange shade of green because Alice swept me in her arms and had me in the adjoining bathroom, holding my hair back from the toilet seconds before my stomach rejected what little I could force down this morning at breakfast. The Cullen's intense speed was natural to me now. One second I was in Alice's room, I blinked, and then I was in the bathroom.
"Thanks, Alice," I said while wiping my mouth.
"Here." She handed me a toothbrush with toothpaste already on it. I more than willingly took it. "I know Edward loves you, but I'm sure he would appreciate it if you freshened up a bit after that." She waited patiently as I finished, and then took me back into her bedroom, which was roughly the size of Charlie's entire downstairs floor.
"So, what's wrong with you?" Alice prompted.
"Oh. You mean other than the fact that I will be the most ordinary person in the wedding party?" I answered sarcastically. "Well, I can't help but wonder who's going to try and kill me today."
She rolled her eyes at me. "First of all, your eyesight is not as sharp as ours, Bella. You're beautiful, and you only insult me when I've been working on you all afternoon, and you still call yourself ordinary. Second, don't you have any faith in me at all? You're really going to ruin this wedding for me, aren't you?"
I knew better than to make my concerns known around Alice, especially that of my appearance. I skipped my retort to that comment and focused on the one thing that we might actually be able to manage. "So, nothing bad is going to happen?"
She stopped working on my dress a moment and focused once again on the future. I could tell when she was back in the present because I saw a frown flash on her face, and recovered quickly, but I'd already noticed.
"What is it, Alice? The Volturi? What did you see?" Panic raced through me, and I felt my legs weaken. I could only expect the worst to happen at my wedding with my luck.
"I don't see anything bad happening, Bella. Would you please try to control yourself? Or I will have you restrained. Granted, it would put a damper on things, but I'll do it," she warned.
I took a deep breath. She didn't see anything bad happening. I could accept that. Just minutes before I was to walk the aisle, surely even if someone decided to make a move now, the wedding would be long over before they arrived.
Alice finished the hem, and stood up to look at me. "Look, I know you probably wanted some more time with Charlie and Renee before the wedding, but I couldn't risk you spoiling your make up, and you'll have plenty of time to say your goodbyes during the reception, okay?"
I nodded my head in response. Just the thought of saying goodbye brought a lump in my throat that I tried to swallow back down. I composed myself just in time for Charlie to step in to lead me downstairs.
He stopped dead at his heels as soon as he reached the door. "Wow," he said. I looked down blushing slightly. I hadn't looked at myself. I didn't want to know what kind of circus clown Alice made me out to be. He reached down and tilted my chin up with his hand. "You look beautiful," he whispered and then kissed my cheek. I heard Alice murmur, "Make up" behind me to remind me not to get too emotional.
"Thanks, Dad," I mumbled.
Charlie took a deep breath as he heard the music begin. "Ready?"
Again, I opted just to nod, and he held out his arm for me to take. As soon as I stepped out of the room, the fragrance of fresh flowers hit me. Alice saw me recoil and asked, "Too much?"
I shook my head to reassure her. She wanted everything to be perfect, and as long as I was going along with it, I might as well make sure she thought I approved of everything as well.
Rosalie had already made her way to the front, and Alice went on ahead of me. I knew from rehearsal the night before that I needed to wait until she positioned herself across from the groomsmen – Emmett and Jasper - before proceeding.
Charlie led me to the top of the stairs where I could see streams of lights, tulle, and white orchids lined down the rails. White chairs arranged in flawless rows were filled with friends from school and the reservation. It was nice to know the pack was willing to endure the stench of vampires long enough to attend the wedding. I wasn't sure if they would since I had chosen Edward over Jacob.
Another pain hit me as soon as I thought Jacob's name. I'd hurt him, worse than he was physically hurt from the fight with the newborns last winter. Seth had told me that he had run off, headed north months ago, but didn't know when or if he was going to return.
I shoved the negative thoughts aside, and when I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Edward's face at the end of the aisle, and everything unpleasant drifted away. Behind him was a metal arch tangled with more orchids – this time with pale shades of pink and purple, green vines, and clear lights. Under the arch, stood Carlisle and Esme, hand in hand. Carlisle had gotten a license so that he was able to officiate the wedding.
We were halfway down the aisle now when something caught my attention in the far corner behind Edward. I stopped in my tracks, and Charlie jerked back as he felt the resistance. Someone was standing in the shadows. I felt the fear I'd been anticipating all day, and began breathing hard. The Volturi was here. At my wedding. The figure was too tall to be Jane. Who else would Aro send? Certainly not Jane now that I thought of it. She'd had no affect on me as we saw in Italy. I strained my eyes to focus, all the while being thankful this shouldn't be the case for much longer, if I lived long enough, that is. As though my effort was more than obvious, the figure stepped into the light. Jacob. It was Jacob. My Jacob.
Several emotions flew over me at once: relief - that it wasn't the Volturi, happiness - that Jake came back and was safe, pain - I felt his pain he must be enduring to watch this, and then confusion. How did he know it was today? The pack? Would they put him through this? No. I'd told Alice not to send him... Fury.
I shot a hard look in Alice's direction. "You sent him an invitation after I asked you not to?" I accused aloud in front of everyone. Alice looked around and smiled apologetically to the guests, and made a great effort to glide slowly - rather than her natural fast pace - to me.
"I didn't," she whispered, and Edward was immediately at her side.
"I did," he confessed.
Shock. How many emotions did one usually experience during a normal wedding? "You did what?" I choked out.
"I sent the invitation to Jacob." He placed his hand on arm, and I shrugged away. I wondered what the guests must think of this display, but I really could care less. Charlie was uncomfortable, standing in the middle of all of this. He liked attention about as much as I did, and I could feel him tense up through his arm I still held tightly. I tried to relax my grip, although I was sure I wouldn't hurt him. It wasn't him I wanted to hurt anyway. How could Edward do this? He knew I didn't want to put Jake in that kind of position. "I knew if the situation were reversed, I would have wanted the choice," he continued to explain, trying to not show the pain I caused by shunning his touch.
I stole a glance at Jacob, and he looked confused. Great. Now he probably thought I didn't want him here.
"Have you ever thought about how I felt? How, maybe not only did I not want him to feel obligated to come, but that I didn't want to hurt him anymore? Can you not imagine the pain he's feeling while I'm walking the aisle to marry you, not him? And how much it kills me to know he's hurting like that? Don't you think I've done enough damage?" My voice had constantly been escalating and I finished with a frustrated growl that was very close to those I'd heard come from Edward when he'd fought Victoria not too long ago.
"I'm sorry," Edward whispered, stung by the fact that he'd never considered this would cause me pain. Naturally, he didn't care about Jake's.
I threw my hands up. "It's over."
"What?" Alice and Edward said simultaneously. Alice looked confused, and her frowned expression from her room flashed in my head.
"I don't see anything bad happening, Bella," she'd said. Of course she couldn't see anything bad happening. The werewolves had decided to come. She couldn't see anything happening, but she didn't want me to agonize over something that most likely wouldn't occur. She was worried because she couldn't see what I was about to do, and she would be irritated that she hadn't been able to stop it.
"I'm saying the wedding's off." I let go of Charlie's arm, and turned around. He was probably more than willing to let me get out of this situation. He thought I was too young to do this anyway.
I felt a cold hand grab my arm – Edward's. "Bella," he pleaded.
"Just leave me alone," I snapped, and immediately felt guilty. I didn't want him to think that I wanted us to be over. I just couldn't continue with the wedding, not with Jake here. His grasp loosened slightly, and I took a deep breath. "I just need you to give me some time," I amended, hoping that wasn't as wounding.
I was continually hurting someone: Jake, for choosing Edward and Edward because I felt so bad for hurting Jake. It was never-ending.
Edward reluctantly let go and I ran out of the house, glad to get away from the piercing stares, and steadily forming judgments of what had taken place. I jumped in my truck and revved the engine. Before I slid in reverse, Jacob jumped in the passenger side.
"Hey, Bells," he greeted half-hearted. I didn't stop the truck. I wanted to get away fast, which I suppose if that was the case, I should have taken Alice's Porsche, but I was partial to my truck. It was dependable. I looked in the rear-view mirror as I backed up and saw Edward standing outside the house, staring at us as I drove away to nowhere in particular. He must have seen Jake get in the truck. He probably didn't like it, but he asked for it. He's the one that invited Jacob, against my wishes. The only good thing about Jake being here was that Alice couldn't see where I was going so they would have to wait until I came back. I checked the mirror again, then the woods we passed along either side of the road. It didn't appear any of them were following me.
"Guess I shouldn't have come, huh?" Jake commented.
"Guess you're happy now, huh?" I retorted. My anger had already been kindled. I was letting the fire rage through me now. I glanced over at him to see his puzzled expression. "I didn't go through with it. I didn't marry him. That's what you wanted, right?" I accused.
"Bella." He sounded like I wasn't giving him any credit. Why should I? He'd fought for me. He'd made it crystal clear that he didn't want me to be with Edward. "I just wanted you to be happy."
"No. You wanted me to be happy with you," I argued.
"I want you to be happy and alive, Bella, no matter who it is with." I knew what he meant. He'd once told me he'd rather have me dead than forever immortal. I still wasn't sure if they would forgive the break in treaty for me. The treaty didn't specify if the victim was willing to be bitten, if the contract was then null and void. And I still had every intention of continuing with that plan.
"This doesn't change anything," I told him, the thought of the treaty now sobering me into my usual worries. "I'm still going through with it."
I stole a glance in his direction, and saw his deep brown eyes close. He took a deep breath. My eyes fluttered to his hands, but they were stable. I scorned myself for not having enough faith in him to know he could control himself around me. We'd been through this before, and the initial shock must have been more difficult than this.
The vibration of the truck drew me into a daze. I knew how Jake felt about me, but he loved me enough to let me go, right? Would he talk Sam into forgiving the break in treaty? He wouldn't fight with them, would he? How far was he willing to go to save me? He didn't speak when he opened his eyes as though he never heard my statement.
"Talk to me." I needed answers.
"Bella, why are you doing this?" he asked, watching only the road.
"Because I want to be with Edward," I replied, my voice sounding as though I was pleading for a blessing: a blessing that would keep Edward and his family safe.
"But at any price?" His eyes met mine now. They were burning into me, trying to etch into my mind how serious this was, like I hadn't already thought of everything. I was giving up my family, my life as I knew it, my friends, all in exchange for Edward. What a small price to pay for an eternity with him: my own personal heaven.
I nodded my head in response, a smile hinting at my lips. No words could convey how on board I was with this.
"Lives will be lost, Bella," Jacob warned.
"Are you seriously going to fight us?" I knew this was a possibility, but I never would have thought he would actually go through with it. For once, my hands were trembling, and I had to pull the truck over onto the shoulder. My driving wasn't as graceful as Edward's, my control not as practiced as Jake's. I pressed my foot on the brake harder than intended which stopped the truck abruptly causing my head to jerk forward and then back again.
My peripheral didn't even glimpse a struggle for Jake. He'd once been my tall, clumsy friend with large, awkward feet. Now, he was just as refined as Edward: quiet and steady. I wished everything was back the way it used to be, with the exception of Edward being gone, of course. If Jake wasn't a werewolf, then we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Although, the treaty would still be expected to be honored, at least Jake wouldn't be fighting us.
He gave me an incredulous look. "I'm fighting for you, Bella, not against you." He looked away as if to gather his thoughts and finally returned his eyes to mine before continuing. "It's not like it's my decision," he looked through me once again as if talking around the actual point, but I could see the emphasis in his glare.
Certainly this wasn't his decision. I knew this. He wasn't the Alpha, the leader of the pack. He had waived that right to Sam, but he still had some influence, didn't he?
"Talk to Sam. Reason with him." Jacob shook his head, causing his silk black hair to brush over his shoulders. "Please, Jake. For me?" I pleaded. I knew it wasn't fair to ask this of him. He already had to endure the fact that I had rejected him for Edward, and now I was asking him to let me die, or at least to him, it would be dying. For me, it was the beginning of life. Let me live, Jake. Let me live.
"The treaty has been made. The pack has no choice but to honor it."
"But…but why? Edward and his family didn't attack when you broke your side of the treaty! Surely in this case you could forgive - Oh! Let me guess…another werewolf thing? You're forced to attack when it's broken?" I demanded in half-mockery, my cheeks flushed from the rekindling anger. I could feel the heat work its way through my body.
"You can't understand, Bella. We're a family, bonded in ways that words can't describe." He heaved a sigh of frustration, but when he spoke again, his voice was soft. "Listen, I'm not saying that we'll fight until we kill them all –"
"Ha! A little cocky, are we?" I interrupted. I meant for it to come out strong and confident, hoping it would intimidate him into reconsidering, but my voice betrayed me with a high nervous crack. The thought of any of the Cullens ceasing to exist immediately had my stomach in knots. Jacob ignored me and continued as though he hadn't heard.
" – but the treaty will require one to die. A life for a life."