S: Harry Potter is wondering how he could torture, shock, expell, kill
Draco Malfoy. I TOLD you Draco fans to stay away. *sorry!*
Disclaimer: Okay, I admit it, I do not own Harry Potter or anything else related to it, J.K Rowling does. So sue me!
AN: This is my first fan fiction, so please don't flame me if I suck. Please read and review and (hopefully) enjoy.
TOP TWENTY THREE WAYS TO KILL DRACO
Draco finds out that his mum is related to a muggle. His heart stops.
He finds out that his mum IS a muggle.
Draco finds out that he is a squib.
His father beats Draco to death for being lesser than Hermione Granger.
Draco actually beats Hermione Granger in academics. Dumbledore is so angry, he expels the freak.
Pansy kisses him and he is nearly suffocated and poisoned to death from her fat drooling pug lips.
Snape finds out that Draco bribed the Sorting Hat and actually should be in Hufflepuff! Egad.
Snape sends Draco to detention for teasing him about his greasy hair in class.
During detention, Filch tries to bring back the old way of detention. Malfoy stays in the hospital wing for three weeks.
Dobby pays Malfoy a little visit during his stay in the care of Madame Pomfrey. He sings evilly in a horribly off-tune voice: Malfoys bad, Malfoys bad, Weezys good, Potters good."Malfoys goes deaf.
(This is worse.) Dobby is convinced that Draco needs protection from Voldemort and tries to protect him by doing a number of well-meant freak stunts. You know what happens. Draco Malfoy stays for four months in the hospital wing.
Professor Lockhart comes back to Hogwarts! He brings a cage of pixies and Draco isn't the only one with a black eye.
I force a snake to eat Draco. Preferably the one that I helped out of the zoo.
Draco accidentally walks into the girls' bathroom while Hermione is doing her annual STUPID ASSHEAD COWABUNGA STRIPDANCE.
The Gryffindor Quidditch team happily corners Draco while Crabbe and Goyle aren't around to help him.
Fred aims a bludger at his head.
George aims a bludger at his ass.
The twins hit harder than superman.
Professor Lupin accidentally miscalculates a full moon and bites Draco. Or than again, that wouldn't be such a good thing, would it?
Convince Draco to eat a Custard Cream.
Convince Draco to eat Ton Tongue Toffee.
Transfigure him into a half-human-half-ferret.
All these freaky weird things happen. The whole school celebrates, but I also die of extreme surprise and shock.
Disclaimer: Okay, I admit it, I do not own Harry Potter or anything else related to it, J.K Rowling does. So sue me!
AN: This is my first fan fiction, so please don't flame me if I suck. Please read and review and (hopefully) enjoy.
TOP TWENTY THREE WAYS TO KILL DRACO
Draco finds out that his mum is related to a muggle. His heart stops.
He finds out that his mum IS a muggle.
Draco finds out that he is a squib.
His father beats Draco to death for being lesser than Hermione Granger.
Draco actually beats Hermione Granger in academics. Dumbledore is so angry, he expels the freak.
Pansy kisses him and he is nearly suffocated and poisoned to death from her fat drooling pug lips.
Snape finds out that Draco bribed the Sorting Hat and actually should be in Hufflepuff! Egad.
Snape sends Draco to detention for teasing him about his greasy hair in class.
During detention, Filch tries to bring back the old way of detention. Malfoy stays in the hospital wing for three weeks.
Dobby pays Malfoy a little visit during his stay in the care of Madame Pomfrey. He sings evilly in a horribly off-tune voice: Malfoys bad, Malfoys bad, Weezys good, Potters good."Malfoys goes deaf.
(This is worse.) Dobby is convinced that Draco needs protection from Voldemort and tries to protect him by doing a number of well-meant freak stunts. You know what happens. Draco Malfoy stays for four months in the hospital wing.
Professor Lockhart comes back to Hogwarts! He brings a cage of pixies and Draco isn't the only one with a black eye.
I force a snake to eat Draco. Preferably the one that I helped out of the zoo.
Draco accidentally walks into the girls' bathroom while Hermione is doing her annual STUPID ASSHEAD COWABUNGA STRIPDANCE.
The Gryffindor Quidditch team happily corners Draco while Crabbe and Goyle aren't around to help him.
Fred aims a bludger at his head.
George aims a bludger at his ass.
The twins hit harder than superman.
Professor Lupin accidentally miscalculates a full moon and bites Draco. Or than again, that wouldn't be such a good thing, would it?
Convince Draco to eat a Custard Cream.
Convince Draco to eat Ton Tongue Toffee.
Transfigure him into a half-human-half-ferret.
All these freaky weird things happen. The whole school celebrates, but I also die of extreme surprise and shock.