WARNING
WARNING! This fic is 18+, if you are not over 18 then you have been warned, Dragon den is kids stuff compared to what will be written here. Of course, I'll put my HP inflatable Dolls away when I'm done.
Procrastinating from writing Dragon's den (heh ^^;) This is a one shot, but if I get a lot of reviews I just might be convinced to continue it and make it longer. (I promise I won't ditch my other baby Xd)
http:// acciobrain. ligermagic. com/accioindex2. php ( take spaces out) best HP comic site EVER.
Oh and last but not least, when I'm trying to describe what Draco is wearing in the first part of the story, it's actually my pathetic attempt to describe Symphony of the Night's Alucard (Drools) his clothes are the coolest! Also many thanks to Phil Collins and his wonderful song 'In the air tonight' (best sex song EVER!) And my best friends BF Eric for saving all my files when my pc crashed to kingdom come.
I made a modification in the story setings, i read threw it on the ff site and it hurt my eyes o.o
The next chap is almost done so plz be patient.
I am Incubus
Bored, so utterly bored, Draco turned gun metal eyes from the window of his chamber in the castle to look into the glass of the mirror that floated before him with a dispassionate look. After 'living' for so many thousands of years he was more then ready to go stark raving mad, maybe they'd do something if he ran down the hall but naked while screaming about the end of days. He chuckled, just to see the Elders and Ancients faces would be entirely worth it.
You just need to feed is all, they'd said.
Draco snarled at the thought, bored, bored, bored and BORED!
Those mindless maidens of old, the shameless whores of the new, none of them interested him. What was it to him if by the end of their meeting they'd be stone cold dead or severely weakened by the time he was done. There was no challenge, no meaning, nothing. Show up, get on and get out, woop-ti-fuking-doo!
"Show me something interesting" Draco drawled out.
The mirror flashed as colors swirled in its depths, Grey eyes watched as shapes started to form and he could not hold back his eyes from rolling to the ceiling as he scowled at the reflective surface.
"A school, I ask you to show me something interesting and you show me a SCHOOL!"
Draco reached out and caught the mirror in one quick swipe, bringing it above his head, fully intending to break the glass on the floor; damn thing was probably broken anyway.
"Mione, come on you've been in that bathroom for ever"
Draco paused and looked back at the mirror, quirking an eyebrow at its innocent surface.
"Not my fault that damn brat thought he could put his hand on my ass and get away with it!"
The other brow rose to join the first as he watched a young girl emerge from the bathroom, cradling her fist to her chest, glaring at a read headed boy. Such fire and yet the girl was nothing extraordinary, ordinary clothes of the current century, she seemed to have rather dull brown eyes and hair that was rather bushy, her face was dusted with freckles and she was lugging a back pack that seemed to be too heavy for her small frame.
"And why did you not offer to help hmm?"
It was funny how the carrot head seemed to shrink In front of this petite woman-child, even if he was roughly 6'4" compared to her 5'6" with heels. Draco watched amused as the human male fumbled for a good excuse, he had hair that was styled out in all directions and was wearing a jacket that seemed to be reserved for a sport team or other, a jock.
"Well about that…"
The girl raised a brow and started tapping her foot on the floor, waiting. Draco was chuckling at the sight; maybe the mirror could live to see another day after all he mused.
"Ronald"
"Yeah?"
"5"
Draco watched with amused anticipation as the boy gulped and took a step back.
"4"
"Hey guys, what's up?"
"Harry run, she's gonna blow!"
"3!!!"
"Oh my god Ron what did you do now!"
"Nothing I swear!"
Draco couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled inside of him as both males turned tail and ran down the hall, screaming about the end of the world and hormonal women in their periods. It seemed that doing nothing was precisely the reason for her ire and the sable haired boy knew it.
"2"
Draco saw her eyes shifting, following their screaming as they begged people to hide them from the terrible Banshee.
"1"
Draco watched fully fascinated as the female ran after the males, catching up with them easily as students jumped aside so they wouldn't get hit by the enormous bag as she ran past. She used her momentum to catch a black haired boy, Harry, and sent them both slamming noisily into a row of lockers, before she launched herself after her second and most important victim. Draco was near tears as he watched the black haired boy slump down to the floor in a groan of pain.
"That's alright Mione; I wasn't using those ribs anyway"
"You deserved it" she tossed back as she rounded a corner, followed by a hard crash and a girly scream.
Draco couldn't take it anymore; he turned away from the mirror and tried to catch his breath. How long had it been since he had last laughed that hard, centuries maybe?
A time where eternity seemed to have no meaning to him, a time where forever was the greatest thing and did not make him cringe out of solitude and boredom.
He rose from his sitting place by his bedroom window, feeling much lighter hearted. He walked out of his room and out in the halls where others of his kind where occupying themselves with divers hobbies.
Draco glanced at them all as they passed him, they all looked the same. The same beautiful pale and flawless features, vivid eye colors and long silky hair of every tone imaginable. They where perfect creatures that could make every mortals fantasy come true, but with a terrible price, the weak little mortals never seemed to live past the first encounter and if they did then their life span was cut down by half or more, furthermore the little mortal females where often left pregnant with devil children or Cambions that would soon join the ranks of their elders the second they satisfied their enormous sexual appetite or the luckier ones that remained would turn into notoriously evil and bloodthirsty humans that often became deranged serial killers and murderers, the Marquis de Sade and the Blood Countess, Elizabet Bathory of Hungary had to be two of the best examples to the sexual and blood thirsty hunger a human cambion had to go trough.
The Succubi and Incubi where distant cousins of the vampires, both fed of humans, one by blood, the other by energy, one needed to bite the human while the other needed to have the human achieve sexual completion in order to steal away their precious life force. Vampires could live in the realm of man as opposed to their demon counterparts who could only access it threw a reflective surface like a body of water or mirror. The Cubi race lived in the first layer of hell and they could only escape for short periods of time, but then again, most of them had only left to feed. No one had dared to leave for more then an hour or two at a time. Draco had been different from them; from the beginning he found the chase far more satisfying then the kill. The Elders and Ancients had warned him of dangers pertaining the heart but he had scoffed at the thought. Demons had no heart and there for, could not fall in love. Draco himself was old enough to be considered an Ancient but the others never really took him seriously because of his preferred way of the hunt, it was something he was grateful for, who the hell wanted that responsibility anyways?
Draco took a flight of stairs, his black boots silently padding over the marble steps as he climbed to another level. A plan had begun to form in his mind, a chase would be nice. Certainly would take the bored ness out of his too long existence for a little while. He silently turned the corner and opened a door, his sharp grey eyes turning to the males and females of the Elders court as they all turned to him with various expressions.
"May we be of service to you Draco" spoke one.
Draco inwardly sneered, he was much older then the little brat that was seated at the chair, how dare the little whelp show such disrespect to him!
"Actually young Elder Collin" Draco began in his usually bored tone, making sure to linger on the 'young' to whom he received a hard glare from said youth, "I find myself in need of a Cruentus* Crystal and a Somnium* Diamond"
The Elders exchanged glances, and Draco found it annoying that they would look so shocked; he cleared his throat out after a time, trying to encourage the 'old' ones to hurry it up. Just because they had nothing better to do didn't mean that it was the same for him, he had plans to set in motion, preferably in this century.
"Why would you need such items? If you are leaving to feed surely you do not need such precious gems!" Another asked in wonder.
"Playing the game of seduction again Master Draco" came the soft cooing voice of a Succubus to the right of the insufferable Collins.
"As always Elder Delacour" Draco replied with a charming smile.
"Let him have his fun" She said smiling back "the devil knows eternity is boring enough with the lot of you for company"
"My lady Elder is too gracious"
God how he hated these formalities, sucking up to these old prunes… Draco mentally frowned; if they where old prunes then what was he? Draco looked off to the side as one of the Elders approached him with a small box, he opened it and Draco took one blood red Crystal that dangled at the end of a silver chain and a flat pink diamond. He nodded his thanks as he slipped the necklace over his head, smiling as warmth flooded his cold body, he shivered in delight and bowed once more to the court before turning around and leaving them to whatever boorish maters they attended.
Draco walked back to his chambers, his second part of the plan needed to take place now. Draco extended his hand and his faithful mirror floated to him, hovering over the palm of his hand.
"Show me the young males of this day and age."
He knew by the dress of the young black and red headed males that the style of clothing had changed since he last went to earth.
Truth be told he still wore the old style of clothes, he found them to be elegant, imposing and surprisingly comfortable even with the heavy fabrics and multiple layers. He watched as the mirror sifted and changed to reveal the youths he wished to see. It seemed jeans and shirts where prised in this day and age. He looked over his own appearance, right now he was in the ripe physical age of a male in his mid-twenties, and with his long pale hair that had been the fashion of the past.
Draco closed his eyes and imagined himself wearing a plain black turtle neck sweater with jeans and sneakers, a jean jacket completing the look. He opened his eyes to look in the mirror, it would do for now he supposed as he fiddled with the blood red crystal at his neck.
The mirror slipped to the floor and Draco stepped on it, letting himself sink in its surface.
Draco walked over the school grounds, ignoring the murmurs of student's he passed, the girls and their 'OMG did you see that man!' he could have laughed at them; he was willing to bet they would never want him if they knew what he was. And as for the males well, they promised petty revenge out of jealousy. It was funny to stop even the body builders with one look of his gun metal grey eyes. Humans could be easily intimidated if you appealed to their dormant self preservation instincts.
He silently made his way to the main building where the secretary offices where. He could hear the conversation going on between two females and he was pleasantly surprised to see his prey there having a conversation about the morning disturbances with the schools deputy head mistress and he could almost see the annoyance as it rolled off the young woman in waves, he couldn't hold in the smirk.
A few more words where exchanged and the girl left the room without even a backward glance, Draco's smirk turned into a frown. The little pest didn't even look up to him, just brushed past him with angry steps as she muttered about revenge, he found he didn't like it one bit! It was probably childish but that slip of a female had managed to wound his pride! He watched her close the door and stalk off down the hall. He silently grimaced but shrugged it off, what would be the fun in a chase if the prey was far too easy to catch?
"May I help you?"
Draco turned to the old woman and smiled, noticing her light flush.
"Yes I'm here to enrol my brother"
"Of course, and you are?" She asked as she led him to her office.
"Lucius Malfoy" Draco said still smiling charmingly "My brothers name is Draco Malfoy"
Draco had to bite his cheek to try and stifle his laugh, the poor woman- McGonagall from what the pristine silver name plate said- was busying herself with her papers so she wouldn't have to look at him for longer then what absolute courtesy demanded.
"What year?" she asked still sifting threw her papers.
"7th"
"All right here we are" she said handing him over the documents. "Just fill these in, ask Mr. Draco to stop by the office in the mourning so he can get his class schedule as well as pay the entrance fees and everything should be fine"
"My thanks"
Draco left the office and sat down in the park next to the school, studiously ignoring the stares he was receiving from both male and female.
"Hmm, name Draco Malfoy, sex…. Male, Age… 17, Date of birth… June 5th, name of parents or tutor… Lucius Malfoy, Family tie of tutor… elder brother, Address… hmm damn I guess I can't say the first layer of hell" Draco sighed, this was so tediously boring.
He continued to fill out the forms in the park and before long he had the stack ready to be brought back in the morning. Now that that was taken care of Draco turned on the spot and headed to where he smelled water, it was time to prepare for his stay in the mortal realm. An identity needed to be created, papers needed to be forged, a new and younger appearance needed to be moulded so he could go gallivanting as either 'Lucius' or 'Draco' and a place of residence needed to be prepared. It seemed tedious to go to such an extent for one mortal girl but wasn't the point of this chasse to break the monotony of his eternal hell? The girl should feel flattered that he went threw all this trouble just for her. With that thought in mind he let himself sink in the portal that had become the surface of the small puddle that was out of sight from prying eyes.
*********************
Draco stepped out of the pool and took a moment to look around the back yard; it resembled every other white picket fenced back yard on the street it seemed. He strolled forward and opened the door, the little lock giving way under his inhuman strength. Draco looked around the dark kitchen and frowned at a letter he found there on the table.
Hi sweetie,
I know you're father and I promised to be home in time for your birthday but we had a last minute emergency with the clinic. We will have to go again for another two weeks so stay safe, we'll call when we get to the hotel.
Happy birthday and enjoy your present.
Love mom.
How touching, he mused sarcastically before the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made him retreat to a darker corner of the kitchen.
"I know Ginny! It's my frikin' birthday and they can't even bother to stay a bit! I mean GOD!"
"I'm sorry Mione, I don't know why they keep doing this, honestly if you're not going to be there for your kid then don't have them."
"Gee thanks" Hermione hissed while stomping into the kitchen.
Draco watched her; silently laughing as she yanked opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water, completely unaware of her surroundings and the predator that was standing just behind her.
"Now wait a minute, I didn't mean it like that!"
"Yeah I know" she said with a sigh as she kicked the door to the fridge closed and walked out. "You don't know how lucky you are to have your parent's there Gin"
"And this is the part where I tell you it's not all it's cracked up to be, right?"
Draco watched as the girl laughed, head tossed back as the musical sound filled the silent house, he silently followed her to the living room where she plopped herself up in the sofa.
"So what did you wish for when you blew out the candles?"
Blew out the candles? Silly human traditions, a year more or a year less what difference did it make?
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the girl teased back as she scribbled something down in an advanced physics book.
"Awwww come on!"
Draco quirked an eyebrow, this was bound to be soooo original, she had probably wished for her parents or something equally childish, silly little girl.
"I wished for someone who could see me, a guy that could love me and actually want to be around me and hold a decent conversation instead of those brainless kids at school that only want to look down your cleavage and get into your pants!"
Draco raised an eyebrow at this, she wanted a male, yes how very original pfff!
"You're still mad with that skirt chaser Mathews aren't you?"
"Shit yes! That guy has the mentality of a 5 year old! Can you believe it; he practically jumped me after saying he was interested in me!"
"Don't worry, he won't be able to reproduce, you've taken care of that for the rest of us"
"Thank god! Can you imagine what a plague that would be?"
"So what did you get for your birthday?" the other girl asked.
Draco listened with mild interest as the 2 girls talked about unimportant things like the civic her parents gave her as some sort of consolation prise for their absence, it seemed to be a recurrence no mater what century you where in. He listened to their giggling and then the girl called Ginny told Hermione she had to get off the phone for the night and that they would see each other at school tomorrow.
The human girl looked at the clock in the hall and sighed.
"Time for bed"
Grey eyes followed her to the stairs and he waited as the sounds of her nightly ritual played out, he waited and took off after her once he was sure she was sleeping soundly.
Draco entered the room of the sleeping youth and watched her for a moment; his inner demon was clawing at its cage, demanding he take the girl to quench the hunger that burned his immortal body. Soon, he thought, soon but not yet.
He took out the pink flat diamond and stared at it for a moment, a sinister smirk spread over his pale porcelain face as he looked back at the girl. He placed the stone to her chest and watched as it sank in her skin, leaning down to her ear as he whimpered softly.
"Sweet dreams" He said chuckling darkly.
He straightened and took one last look at the girl before him, the same malevolent smile on is lips, enjoying the whimpers and moans that escaped her as she shifted restlessly in her dreams. Without a backward glance Draco walked out of the room and house going for the pool and back to his home. Everything was going smoothly for now and he was immensely pleased with it.
He walked down the corridors to his chambers clasping the crystal at his neck that glowed with an eerie light feeding from the energy the human female was giving off in her sleeping state. He closed the door to his chambers and proceeded to seat himself on the window sill. He motioned for his mirror and the precious object floated to him, its surface swaying lightly even before its master gave it the order to show him the sleeping girl.
Draco played with the pendant at his neck for a moment, looking at the mirror as it showed the restless girl as she whimpered in her bed, her body flushed and tangled in the sheets, he smirked and reached inside the mirror with his other hand, the image shifted in the glass and Draco grinned in anticipation.
Hot, so unbearably hot. Hermione whimpered and tossed her head from side to side. Why did it feel as if her body was on fire? Could anyone stop it, she tried to scream out but the only sound that escaped her lips was a strangled gasp. She couldn't breath; every time her lungs worked it seemed she would suck in fire instead of the air she craved.
God make it stop.
Hermione tried to open her eyes but they seemed to be glued shut, she whimpered again as the flames lapped at her body. She opened her mouth to try and scream again but this time she felt something cool press against her lips and air fill her lungs to tame the wild fires of her body, She moaned and pressed herself into the soft lips that had chased away the scorching heat. Hands traced her body and she sighed into that delicious mouth as the cool fingers traced and kneaded her scorching skin, she moaned out her relief as the flames left her to be replaced with bright hot amber. The soft lips left her mouth and she whimpered at the loss, she heard a deep chuckle and a cool breath tickle her ear and she shivered. Those tortuous lips traced a path from her ear and down her neck where she felt teeth begin to gently bite down on her pulse point. She felt those lips smirking when she gasped out and then they continued their tortuous decent down her neck to her chest where she cried out when those lips sucked on a hard peak, a cool, wet tongue flickered out to draw lazy circles on the soft flesh.
She wanted to cry, she wanted to beg for the sweet torture to stop but like an addictive drug she yearned for more, cool breath tickled her overheated and sensitive skin as she felt kisses going down further, she whimpered when a tongue flickered out to tease her navel, no sooner had that torturous tongue finished reeking havoc over her stomach that she felt it sliding between her legs.
She wanted to scream, to move her body, to plead and beg but it seemed she could not control herself, if only she could open her God damn eyes and at least see something!
She felt the flames and amber of her body glow brightly in the pit of her stomach as her muscles clenched painfully tight. She opened her mouth to scream as she was wracked with the power of her orgasm but no sound came out.
She felt two hands starting to trace random patterns over her flesh as she came back down from being shot to heaven, she whimpered, fighting to get her body back. She hated this feeling of just lying there, she had always been the type to take action and this sudden impassive role made her restless. Lips were at her neck again as they kissed, nipped and licked before the teeth hidden behind them took her earlobe in gentle bites.
"Open your eyes" the cool, deep male voice whispered by her ear.
She gasped as she felt at least that part of her body unfreezing to her and when she did open her eyes to what was around her she could see a head of baby blondish white hair. She wanted to run her fingers threw it to see if it was as silky as it looked.
"Not yet my praeclarus praeda, not yet"came his deep voice.
She felt him nudge her legs farther apart and she shivered when his member pressed against her. She stared at the blonds head as he came up from his hiding place by her neck and she couldn't help but stare up at the grey eyes that looked back at her. She had never seen eyes like those before, so piercingly clear.
He seemed to take his time as he slipped into her and she wanted to cry from the pain of it, her body wanted to retreat from the invasion that was forced on her person but she couldn't move and scream her pain.
"Shh my praeclarus praeda, the pain will soon be over"
She whimpered again as he stilled within her.
"Breathe my praeclarus, breathe" came the encouraging voice.
Hermione took deep calming breaths and looked into those eyes again, she wanted to reach up and run her fingers over his pale features and brush his hair out of his eyes but she still couldn't move, she tried to show her annoyance and it only seemed to amuse him more.
"Hold on" he said seductively
Hold on, hold on to what? She wanted to say but she could only manage a whimper as he chuckled at her forced muteness. She felt him move then and she understood what he meant when he told her to 'hold on' it still hurt but at least the pain was slowly leaving at each slow stroke. She heard many girls say that first times where always painful and that it generally took 2 or 3 times before the stinging went away but she soon found herself adapting to it, it still hurt but at least the bite of it was gone.
It was so absolutely frustrating, she wanted to throw her head back and scream, she wanted to wrap her legs around his hip and make him go harder and to wrap her arms around her mysterious grey eyed lover.
"Move, let me move!" she tried to scream but the only thing that came out was a helpless moan.
She felt him shift her body and then drive himself deeper in her core; she moaned again and tried to will her arms and legs to move. Soon her body was growing hotter and hotter from a different kind of flame and without really thinking it she reached out to his face with shaking hands, she saw his grey eyes widen in utter shock as the appendages buried themselves in his hair. He looked into her eyes again, this time trying to see what was hidden there but she had closed them and gave a frustrated growl at his actions, or lack there of.
He gave a deep chuckle and ground himself deeply within her and getting a gasp in return.
"I will enjoy this so very much my praeda"
He continued moving within her and as her hands moved with difficulty from his hair to cling to his shoulders. She felt him bury his face in her neck as he sped up even more and dug her short nails in his skin and let out an earth shattering cry as her body shook, her mysterious lover following her shortly after a few hard thrusts.
She sat bolt upright in bed, panting and covered in a light sheen of sweat. She looked around her room in a slight daze before her eyes fell on her blaring alarm clock.
"6 am already! But I just fell asleep!"
Well that wasn't really true, but it certainly felt like it. Was it normal to be so damn tired after a good night sleep?
She kicked back her covers and froze at what greeted her. Blood on her sheets, how could there be blood on her sheets if her period wasn't do till 2 weeks from now? Hermione frowned and ripped off the bedding and threw it into the washing machine before the blood dried.
She jumped in the shower and scrubbed her body clean of the blood that had run down her legs, and in a bout of momentary insanity she gently slid her finger up her core and froze.
What ever that dream had been about she rather not think too much of it. How could she possibly lose her virginity in a dream? It's just not possible to lose her maiden hood in her sleep…
Unless it wasn't a dream…
"Now I'm just being silly" she said aloud to herself.
She had finally cracked after too many years in solitary living; her logical mind was out the window. She may as well go find some unicorns and pixies with Lovegood next weekend…
After getting ready Hermione jumped in her car and drove off to get her friends and then went to school. All the while telling Ginny she would need to talk to her in private at lunch time, she needed to preserve her sanity and some outside opinion was welcome, even if it was from her.
She had her schedule down pat by now, first class was advanced Physics with the ebil Snakie-kins, err… Evil professor Snape, mad scientist from hell.
She calmly walked to her class not really caring about the buzzing of the student body about some new kid.
They should have a new banner she thought, Welcome to Hogwarts high, where if you don't loose your mind from all the hormones running around then the teachers definitely will make you loose it with the homework load.
Draco walked into the school and was greeted by the head master as he had arrived at the office to drop his papers and pick up his schedule. It was a relief that the bell had rung so he wouldn't have to go walking the corridors with all the females drooling and panting at the very sight of him, he had decided that while his 'older brother Lucius' would have long hair and would be about 6"3 his other half would be a more modest 5"9 with shorter hair, it seemed this appearance had grabbed even more attention too.
The head master was an old man in his sixties; it was a wonder to him how the man could still breathe and run a school. Draco had pasted a smile on his face as the head master explained some ground rules and his schedule of classes and he then proceeded to escort the 'young man' to his first class.
"This is your physics teacher, Mr. Snape. I'll leave you to him."
Draco nodded as the headmaster turned heal and left him in the hall way in front of the door. He could feel the crystal pulsing and he smirked down at it; he was to be in the same class as his prey. That suited him just fine!
Draco knocked on the door and it opened to a man with a greasy curtain of black hair on either side of his face. He raised a brow and Draco could see this was a no-nonsense male, they where going to get along just fine.
Draco presented the slip of paper for his tardy and waited for the grease monkey to get on with it. After a moment Draco quirked an eyebrow at the 'older' man and he got a smirk in return.
Oh, so it was this game then was it?
Draco wanted to laugh; there would be no squirming from him. Snape's smirk only grew when the only thing Draco did was cross his arms over his chest. He could hear the students murmuring inside and wondering what was going on and was more then pleased when the teacher straightened and motioned for him to enter the class. He had apparently passed the silent test of character.
Draco followed Snape to the front of the class where he gat a very short introduction (this is Draco Malfoy, sit over there), he watched as the girls gapped at him and even started whispering amongst themselves, some of the boys where giving him dirty looks, his eyes strayed to a particular brunette who was bent over a book taking notes like her very life depended on it and who was quite obviously not listening to what was going on at the front of the class.
Feeling eyes on her Hermione looked over to the front of the class room, her gaze locked on to gunmetal grey and she gasped, her jaw going slack as her eyes widened, she barely heard her pen clatter on the floor or the silent curse that escaped her lips.
Draco watched her and a lazy smile spread over his face, he could hear her poor little heart rushing madly in her chest and he had heard her squeak "shit" his smile turned into a predatory smirk as he vaguely wondered if the poor girl would faint or hyperventilate.
He politely looked over to the teacher and nodded when he was told to get a move on and that they did not have all day.
He could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she followed his movement to the unoccupied desk near the back, and as he sat down his gaze crossed hers again, she blushed and looked away.
Oh yes, this was going to be quite the chasse! He smirked again as he opened his book to a page on the mathematical laws of light.
Let the real fun begin!
*Cruentus: Latin for Bloody
*Somnium: Latin for Dream
*praeclarus praeda: Latin for beautiful prey ( or it's suppose to be that)
http:// www. geocities. com/darthmaligna/harrypotter2 .html ( take spaces out) A must read, it had me laughing from beginning to end, parody for chamber of secrets movie.