AN: Quickie one shot because it popped into my head. Inspired by the song, An Angel, by Declan Gabraith.
Sometimes, I wish I were an angel. Sometimes I wish I were you.
Looking at you, I wonder for the hundredth time what you're thinking. You turn and smile at Sakura, and say something reassuring and sweet. Your pleasant voice lilts through the air and caresses my ears, so used to the harsh sounds of battle. A voice like that, a calming one, is soothing to someone like me. I often have a hard time comprehending you, you know. I don't understand you.
No one really understands you. None of us really know you. You appeared before the Witch the same time I did, for your own reasons. You said you wanted to run. Why would you ever want to leave your home? You must have friends, family, people who love you. A person like you is loved by everyone. It's hard not to want to company of someone who's always so happy.
I doubt you even realize that your smile is contagious. When you smile, Sakura and Syaoran can't help but smile back. I even catch myself at it sometimes, but I always return to my scowl. I yell and grumble when you call me names and giggle, but inside it lightens my heart a little. You bring such an interesting dynamic to our strange little family. The manjuu adores you, we can all see that. You and Mokona - you're kindred spirits.
Sometimes you remind me a bit of an angel. It's not so hard to imagine bright, white wings behind you. The way your hair falls over your face and dances on your head when you move, it's not too far a stretch to see a halo there either. Angels are supposed to be saviors, guardians. I've seen you fight - you could guard or defend anyone if you chose to.
Did you leave someone behind, that you're running so far? What could someone like you have possibly done to resort to self-exile? You're such a shining person, I could never imagine you doing something horrible.
I don't think I've even seen you kill another person. It's not something a man like you should do, you're too clean and pure. You're the kind of person others should protect. Did you have someone protecting you back in your home? some how I don't think you'd need it.
I wonder sometimes if those smiles are genuine. They appear so often and look so real, how could they not be the real thing? I don't know if that means you're always happy though.
You pause in your conversation with the girl, and turn to look at me. You flash one of your heartwarming smiles at me. I scowl in respond and tell you to watch where you're walking. I don't know why you continue to attempt a friendship with me. I'm not the kind of person one would want to be friends with. I'm gruff and cold and hard, whereas you are cheery and warm and soft. We're not compatible. I'm dark, but you're always so light.
When I glance over at you when you're asleep, a heavenly glow surrounds you. It often occurs to me that you should be curled up on a bed of clouds, instead of wrapped in a scratchy blanket on a cold floor. I wonder what you're dreaming of. Are you dreaming of fellow angels, flying amongst the clouds above the earth, looking down on poor souls like me? Up in the sky, smiling with other shining white angels.
You have no idea how lucky you are, to be able to smile like that. You have no idea how envious I am of that. I can never smile, not anymore.
Sometimes, I wish I were an angel. Sometimes, I wish I were you.