A/N: I can't believe nobody has done this yet (as far as I can tell). On the other hand, maybe that's just because I've been hanging out in *creepy fandoms* for too long. Before I let you go read, just a quick note on the characterisation of Julius:

Anthony Horowitz made a shocking waste of a potentially good character, so I'm going to break the rule of a lifetime and characterise him however the hell I want to.

That said, he is a creepy psycho so I will endeavour to work within that frame. Happy reading!

The kettle was shrieking.

Julius knew it was old-fashioned; the heavy metal monstrosity with the whistle in the spout that had to be boiled on the hot ring of the stove, but he preferred it. A modern kettle was too much like life. You put it on to boil and it purred quietly away, turned itself off with an unassuming snap and waited, all eager and dutiful, to be poured. And what if you didn't bother to pour it? Nothing. Life puts us on to boil, but often it seems like it's forgotten to come back and make use of the things we've prepared. We can be bubbling over with desire, and nothing will bother to pour us. It all seems horribly pointless. A modern kettle was too much like life, and too much like him.

But something did happen if he didn't pour the water in this kettle. It sat on the stove and screamed its head off. So Julius preferred it.

He heard – or thought he heard – the softest of creaks in the hallway. Possibly his imagination, but probably not. He had been about to lift the kettle off the hob, but instead he flipped the power off and left it sitting on the heated ring, keeping warm. A slight breath of air on the back of his neck told him that the kitchen door had swung open.

'Rider, would you stop breaking into my house?'

'Well, sorry,' the familiar voice said from behind him, sarcasm so exaggerated he could practically hear the eye-roll. 'I did ring twice, you know. S'not my fault you're too lazy to answer the door.'

'Oh.' Julius turned around to stare at Alex, unrepentant. 'The kettle was boiling.'

'Uh-huh.' Alex appeared to be losing interest, swinging round by one hand from one of the wooden posts which supported the ceiling. 'Who has pillars in their kitchen anyway?' he asked, completing a circuit and raising an eyebrow at Julius. 'Talk about pretentious.'

'Oh, belt up,' Julius said, turning back to the stove.

Alex bounced forward to look over his shoulder. 'Oh, are you making tea?'

Julius moved him gently aside with one elbow. 'In a bit. First I've got something for you.'

'Something? For me? Like a present?'

'You could say that.'

'Bet I know what it is. Bet it's a rattlesnake.'

'No.'

'A tarantula?'

'Not deadly enough.'

Alex smacked himself in the forehead. 'How could I not have guessed before? It's a scorpion?'

Julius grinned. 'Close. Go upstairs; it's in my room.'

'In your room?' Alex asked over his shoulder as Julius began to herd him towards the door.

'Yes. Now go on.' Julius gave him a final push up the stairs and then turned back into the kitchen.

Alex sighed as he jogged up the stairs, wondering if this was just an excuse to get him into the bedroom. Somehow he doubted it; Julius was usually more subtle than that. All the same, he kept a careful ear out in case the other boy doubled back and followed him. There was no sound; he seemed to have gone back into the kitchen. Alex turned right along the landing and pushed open the door to Julius's room. It took him a moment's glancing around to spot what he was supposed to be looking for. Then he spotted it, and his mouth fell open – though really he shouldn't have been surprised by now.

'Awww,' he complained, slumping in the doorway. 'Come on!'

After a moment he sloped across the room and picked up the folded navy clothes on the bed, letting them unfold. It was a police uniform, complete with chequered cap and handcuffs clipped to the belt.

'Guess that's what all the measurement-taking last weekend was about,' Alex muttered, holding the trousers up against himself. 'Why are people always trying to make me act?'

He dragged the chest of drawers across the door before he even thought about changing, just in case Julius was planning on walking in while he was hopping around half-in and half-out of his trousers. Then he shook out the clothes, glared at them for a few moments and began to put them on.

It couldn't have been an exact replica of a police uniform, he decided as he dressed; the blue was a little lighter than what he had seen on the streets, and he would probably have liked the way it complimented his skin and hair, if he'd been that kind of guy. Julius had omitted the bulky stab-proof vest as well ('and I bet I'm going to really need one. Dammit.') and, looking in the mirror, Alex decided that there was no way any regular cop's uniform would fit them quite that well.

'Tcha!' he said to his reflection, and then, determined to claw back a little control over the situation, ignored the door and scrambled out of the window.

Julius was moving about the kitchen, pretending to be busy but with all his attention focussed on the stairs. Honestly, how long did it take someone to change clothes? Whiney narcissist, he grumbled internally. He's probably checking his hair meticulously in the mirror. He licked his lower lip, catching his lip-ring with his tongue. Of course, Alex didn't like him to leave it in, and that would make him whine more…Julius smirked – and then slammed a hand down on the counted as a loud knock sounded at the door.

'Dammit!' he cursed, flexing his aching fingers. What now, just when he was about to be busy? He stalked out into the hall and flung the front door open.

'Yes?'

For a moment all he saw of the figure on the doorstep below him was a flash of blue, and his stomach actually lurched. Then his visitor looked up, revealing golden hair and sarcastic expression beneath the peaked cap, and his ohmyGodwhatdidIdo changed in a moment to wow, I'm good. Alex's hair, curling just a little too long to comply with any kind of dress regulations, subtly contradicted the uniform, the crisp blue shirt fitted perfectly at his neck and wrists and his eyes, whether he knew it or not, were already taking on a smoulder that was delightfully at odds with the character he was supposed to be playing. And, of course, he'd managed to dodge Julius and come round by the front door. Was I right, or was I right? Julius thought smugly, looking him up and down with barely disguised appreciation.

'I'm sorry to bother you on a weekend,' Alex said, any embarrassment in his voice only enhancing the polite British policeman-character that Julius had been after, 'but I'm afraid there's been a spot of trouble in the neighbourhood. Could I come in for a moment?'

'No problem,' Julius drawled, stepping back a little to leave the doorway clear. He had no doubt that Alex was going to find him guilty of something, but for now, just like a seasoned criminal, he would play innocent and helpful. 'Come through this way,' he beckoned, leading the way down the hallway.

'Is this even legal?' Alex asked, lapsing back into his own persona as he followed Julius into the kitchen. They never planned out scenes beforehand – Julius liked his roleplay unpredictable, and besides, he could never go for more than five minutes without breaking character to make a bitchy comment, so there wasn't much point. Right now, Alex was trying to think of a crime. A crime small enough to get the ordinary police involved in, that was.

Julius shrugged. 'I expect so. It's not an exact replica, after all.'

'I rather thought not,' Alex murmured. Julius took the slightest of glances over his shoulder as he stepped into the kitchen. God, that accent with that uniform… he disguised a shiver as a shrug of the shoulders, moving over to lounge against the counter.

'So, what seems to be the problem, officer?'

Alex was sideways on to him, staring mysteriously at the kitchen cupboards, but he thought he caught the flicker of an eye-roll.

'There was an incident at one of the local night spots last night,' Alex answered, expression thoughtful. He took off the cap and swung it idly in one hand; his hair caught the light. 'I don't suppose you heard anything?'

'No,' Julius said, 'I didn't hear anything.' He hoped Alex would give him an excuse for some less bland dialogue soon.

'Well, we arrested a man, and I'm afraid he was in possession of a quite considerable quantity of cocaine.'

'Cocaine?' Julius echoed. Genius response.

'Crack cocaine,' Alex reiterated solemnly. Julius thought about snapping, you're on crack, just to liven things up a bit, and maybe adding that it would have been better if Alex had been on crack because then he might have thought of something more interesting to arrest him for, but he stayed silent.

'Anyway,' Alex continued, still spinning the hat and not looking directly at him, 'we've been following up a few leads…'

'And they led you here?' Julius asked indignantly.

The look Alex threw him was apologetic, but also steely. 'Would you mind terribly if I looked in these cupboards of yours?'

'Not at all,' Julius said coldly – innocent householder offended. 'Knock yourself out.' Please, do knock yourself out.

Alex crouched – enough strength in his legs not to need to kneel – in front of the first cupboard, and pulled it open. Nothing but crockery and a few spiders. Maybe he should have planted a surface-to-air missile-launcher or something in there, just to give Alex something to discover. Or – he thought back to Alex's earlier snarking – something a little more exciting among the ordinary house-spiders. At least a snaplock bag of white powder. Alex had found nothing, he was moving on…going down on one knee this time, and Julius traced an eye from the nape of his neck, down the curve of his spine to where the dark blue trousers were tightening round his ass and thighs, remembering the first moment when he had realised that maybe he didn't have to hate him after all, and had gone a little to the other extreme while exploring the alternative options…not that he didn't still hate him, with his perfectly gelled blond hair and his Chelsea accent and his smug 'I-saved-the-world-ten-times-so-don't-diss' attitude…though the accent was actually damned sexy on this particular character, and the blond hair had stopped annoying Julius so much since he'd dyed his own raspberry red, and the uniform let him take the piss out of the saved-the-world attitude, so it was all good.

In the meantime, what would a criminal with a policeman searching his house do?

In short, what would he do?

Julius stepped up to the draw by the stove as Alex opened the third cupboard and pulled out a tin inside. He slid the draw softly open. Meanwhile, Alex was working the stiff lid off the tin. He pulled it open and peered inside. Julius knew those tins contained only sugar and flour, but Alex's expression was so realistic that he could feel the sweat of discovery breaking out on the back of his neck. Inside the draw, his hand closed without rummaging on the item he wanted: a small, but very sharp, black-handled knife.

Alex took a pinch of the substance in the tin and held it to his nose.

'I wouldn't swallow that if I were you,' Julius said sarcastically, sliding the knife slowly out of the drawer. He allowed it to scrape against the drawer with a delicious sheering sound, so that Alex would hear. 'You might get high.'

'This isn't a joke, sir,' Alex said sternly, getting to his feet. 'I am afraid the evidence uncovered last night leaves you severely implicated and –'

Julius lunged with the knife.

Alex whipped round, dropping the tin; his hand flashed up and the knife went spinning across the room. Billows of icing-sugar were puffing into the air and settling on Alex's clothes; Julius could taste it when he breathed in. For a moment they were both still, Alex's hand gripping Julius's wrist, Julius aching from the strike that had made him drop the knife, Alex breathless from the suddenness of the attack. Then, with a look that said 'chase me' as clearly as speaking, Julius wrenched himself free.

He dashed across the kitchen. A single footfall behind him; then Alex was tackling him from behind, sending him crashing to the ground with a gasp that wasn't entirely to do with shock and pain. And that, right there, was why he had to do this with Alex. Because who else was quick enough to notice the faint sound of a knife being drawn, so that he could attack them properly without boring forewarnings? Who was enough of a fighter that he could lose to them while still fighting his hardest? Not that Alex could always be relied upon on that front, being basically – Julius grimaced – a nice guy. It took a little prompting, like the knife, to wake up his survival instincts.

Right now he was dragging him into a kneeling position, forcing his head down against one of the kitchen chairs, cheek pressed flush to the cool wooden seat. Julius struggled; Alex twisted his left arm painfully up behind him, shifting his weight so that his right was trapped between his own body and the chair.

'Dammit…' Julius growled.

'You have the right to remain silent,' Alex was saying. The words struck Julius as somewhere between ridiculously hot and just plain ridiculous. 'However, anything you do say will be misquoted and used against you –'

'Can't you fucking stay in character for five minutes?' Julius snapped.

'What would be the point if I did? You know you wouldn't.' The smile in Alex's voice was infuriating. Julius reared up and Alex forced him back down.

'Oh,' he gasped. Alex drove his shoulder into the chair; Julius pressed back against him, throwing his head back until he found a shoulder to rest it against.

'You sure you know what you're doing?' he panted, trying to sneer though it was hurting like hell, and also…not hurting like hell, in other places. 'You think this is a job for one suburban cop?'

'It's not?' Alex almost purred into his ear. Was he finally getting into this? 'I would very much like you to tell me exactly what kind of a job it is.'

'Nice try.'

'Would make my life so much easier.'

'Go fuck yourself.'

Alex leaned away from him – just as an affronted young officer would do – and Julius whipped his arm free, reached round behind him and seized a handful of Alex's hair.

'Ouch!' Alex protested. He let go of Julius with one hand to knock his arm away, and then had to dive forward to stop him from wriggling free. Both of them tumbled even further towards the floor; Julius growled as his chin banged the seat of the chair. He could taste blood.

'You clutz,' he barked, then snapped hastily back into character. 'I mean it, officer. If you get involved, I promise you, you won't like it. Sure you won't take a wink, a grind and no questions asked?'

'Trying to seduce an officer of the law,' Alex said sternly, 'will not look good on your record.'

'But it'll look good on my CV,' Julius quipped back, grinding his teeth. Seriously, there's no need to be that in character, you stuffy old – 'I have contacts who would be highly impressed to see me flirt my way out of this one.' He pushed his leg backwards, managing to get his thigh up between Alex's – not an easy manoeuvre, as it left him essentially balancing on one knee and his chin.

'Enough,' Alex insisted, completely contradicting himself by bringing his right hand down to grab right there. Julius moaned, found that his right arm was free, reached round and raked his nails up Alex's thigh.

Another difference between these clothes and a police uniform: the cloth was a little thinner than the sturdy material Scotland Yard used, and definitely thinner than denim, Alex's material of choice. Alex hissed and shoved him forward, flat on his belly on the floor; he ground back upwards, wishing Alex would just press his hips closer dammit…

'Alright,' he panted. Alex's hand – the one over his crotch – squeezed threateningly. 'Alright. Look, I'll…I'll come quietly okay? Just…lemme turn over.'

'Oh no.' Alex shook his head. He had learned the hard way what happened when you gave Julius an inch. He bit. Alex was surprised it hadn't happened yet.

'Awww,' Julius mumbled, slumping. Then he dug the nails of both hands into Alex's hips as hard as he could.

Alex snarled and his weight vanished, but before Julius could begin to take advantage of the fact a hand cracked across the back of his head. He saw stars.

'Fucking bastard copper!' The words were spilling from his mouth without thought. 'Can't you give a guy a –' A foot in his ribs. Damn, he'd forgotten to get proper boots to go with the uniform…another blow from the hand. 'Excuse me,' he called, lifting his head, 'but I believe I provided you with a truncheon – '

Alex's foot came down firmly on his lower back. 'Most people,' he said, and Julius was pleased to hear that he sounded breathless, 'being beaten up on their kitchen floor, would stop acting like whiney entitled bitches, but you…'

'Are being beaten up by a pussy.'

One last blow had him completely flat on the floor.

'Now,' Alex's voice said from somewhere above him, 'I think you said you would come quietly.'

Julius said nothing. After a few moments Alex seemed to take his silence for confirmation. He crouched down, took hold of both Julius's wrists and dragged his hands so that they were crossed on the back of his head. 'Don't move. Stay flat on the floor. I am going to cuff you.'

He turned away, hands reaching for his belt.

In a heartbeat Julius was up, and this time Alex was just a fraction of a second too slow. He raised his arm, but Julius twisted it away and jabbed him in the shoulder. Alex's face twisted in pain and he slumped backwards, Julius catching him as his legs buckled.

'Ow!' Alex gasped. 'What did you – ow!'

'Nerve cluster,' Julius shrugged. Then his face darkened. 'You let me up.'

'No I didn't! I let go of you for like one second!'

'But I'm up, aren't I?' Julius pointed out coolly, beginning to haul Alex across the room with his hand still pressed firmly into a pressure point on his bicep.

'Well…' Alex said unwillingly, 'yes, but…'

Julius slammed him hard into one of the pillars and Alex blinked, something like alarm showing in his eyes for the first time.

'You let me up,' Julius repeated. 'How do you expect to handcuff someone if you're just going to let go of them and let them do whatever they want?'

'I thought you wanted to be handcuffed,' Alex said feebly.

'Yes, but not that pussy-handcuffing you were doing,' Julius shot back, strolling round behind the pillar and jerking Alex backwards by both arms.

Alex made one of his adorable/infuriating indignant British noises. Julius reached for the handcuffs.

'Well, how would you handcuff someone the –' Alex stopped as the cuffs clicked into place round his wrists. 'Oh.' He tugged experimentally. 'Oops.'

Julius chuckled, strolling back round to the front of the pillar, and then without warning he backhanded Alex savagely across the face.

Alex's head cracked backwards into the pillar, and twin pains exploded. 'OW!' he yelled. Julius's eyes were over-bright. He hit Alex again, then lunged forward, grabbing his hair and dragging his head back and…yes, there it was, he was biting the point where Alex's neck met his shoulder, sinking his teeth in, in till his jaw locked and trembled, then pulling and dragging down, stinging and gouging, while his nails raked up Alex's belly under his shirt, leaving stinging scratches. Alex bit his lip against the pain and arched, hissed, moaned…and was saved from screaming when Julius let go of his mouthful. Saved for a moment, that was, because Julius lost no time in finding another line of attack.

How did he get into these situations? It wasn't as if he even liked pain and danger and fuck, he was hard, Julius's teeth were murderous but his lips and were all tenderness around them, and trying to unravel the tangle of sensations sent Alex's mind tumbling in hopeless circles. He arched his back again, pressing himself against Julius, who grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back, forcing him into the really-quite-narrow-and-sharp-edged beam until they were pressed together from shoulders to knees, grinding helplessly hard-on to hard-on with Alex even as he kept up the punishing twisting and scratching of his hands. So at least sexual taunting wasn't on the menu (not yet, anyway). Alex braced himself as well as he could and ground back.

Julius grunted and jammed a knee up between his thighs, pressing painfully hard, and Alex gave a yelp.

'Below the belt!' he panted.

'Shut up, bitch,' Julius snarled, slapping him again, but Alex didn't care; Julius hadn't pulled away far enough to put a proper swing behind it, and the resulting impact was barely worth mentioning. Julius delivered just the one perfunctory blow and then seized his chin in a grip more painful than the slap, plunging back in again to crush their lips together in a fierce, messy kiss, the first they'd shared that day, and dammit, who cared if it was screwed-up and rough, he was a horny teenager and Julius's tongue was right down his throat where he wanted it. He pressed up into the kiss, returning it with as much finesse as Julius was showing tenderness. Julius gave another sharp gasp, then slammed him backwards once again, pulling on fistfuls of his hair so that that burning, easy pain flared at the roots, then letting go, sliding his hands down Alex's chest, under his shirt, down to grope his ass and slip round his knee and pull his leg up against his hip to grind them harder together, all the time kissing his face, his neck, his collarbone, somehow finding himself in too much of a rush to use teeth. Alex couldn't help but find it fucking delicious, even though he knew full well what was coming next. If Julius ever forgot himself and started kissing like this, sooner or later he would make up for it by making what happened afterwards extra-painful. For now, though, he was cupping one hand round the back of Alex's neck, tugging his shirt the rest of the way out of his trousers with the other. He fumbled with the buttons for a moment, then hooked his fingers into the fabric and ripped.

'What,' Alex said breathlessly, pulling away, 'is the point of shelling out for an imitation police uniform if you're just going to tear it off me?'

'The point of shelling out for the imitation police uniform is to tear it off you,' Julius explained slowly.

'Oh.' Alex shook his head a little, trying to clear it. 'I see.' Julius smirked, took his face in both hands and kissed him slowly and deeply…and ouch, there was the pain, in the form of Julius's teeth meeting around his tongue.

Alex gave a muffled yell and lashed out instinctively with his foot. His heel struck solidly home, sending Julius stumbling away from him.

'You fucking bastard,' Alex snarled. He could taste blood.

Julius straightened up, slowly bringing his glare under control, turning it into a smirk.

'You did not,' he said.

'Yes I did,' Alex snapped. He was starting to feel uneasy again. He rattled the handcuffs, trying to search for a way out, though he doubted there was any good in it.

Julius watched him with an enigmatic expression, then turned and moved away from him. Oh come on, don't leave me here and go jerk off in the bathroom… He crouched down with his back to Alex, hands shielded by his body. Alex saw him pick something up.

When he turned around, he held the black-handled knife in his hand.

'Oh…' Alex said slowly, '…shit.'

Julius grinned broadly and began to walk towards him.

'C'mon, man, that's not funny,' Alex said, trying to sound stern. Julius caught his eye with a look that wasn't a wink but might as well have been. Alex waited until he was in range, then tried another kick, but this time Julius was too quick for him. He dodged to the side and caught hold of his ankle.

'Damn, I should have got something to tie your legs with as well,' he remarked. Then his fingers shifted, and Alex felt sickening pain shoot up his leg.

'Ah!' he gasped, slumping backwards. Julius let go his ankle and strolled forward, holding up the knife.

'Julius…' Alex warned.

'What?' Julius inquired, glancing down at the shining blade. 'You afraid?'

Alex gave him a Look. 'A little nervous, yeah. Should I not be?'

'I would love to be able to reassure you, Alex,' Julius sighed. He rested the edge of the blade lightly against Alex's chest and began to walk slowly around him, trailing it over his skin. 'But that would be lying.'

Alex shifted uneasily as Julius disappeared out of his line of vision. The blade lifted briefly from his skin as its holder moved around the back of the pillar, then reappeared on his other side.

'Come on, Jules, enough already!' he growled. No response. 'I said enou – ow!' The blade had nicked his skin, just over his collarbone.

'What the fuck are you playing at?' he hissed. And suddenly Julius was right up against him.

'It's so cute,' he murmured in his ear, 'how you still think there are rules. Things that are acceptable, and things that aren't. Things I wouldn't do.'

The blade stung him again, deeper this time. He felt blood seeping from the two cuts, and Julius smiled against his cheek.

'You had enough?'

'I told you, yes!' Alex snapped. The touch of the knife under his chin brought him up short.

'Not a chance, Alex,' Julius said softly. He tilted Alex's chin upwards on the blade, then slid the knife down his throat. 'I've got you exactly where I want you.'

He pressed a gentle kiss to the spot directly over Alex's pulse.

'What the hell?' Alex demanded.

'Stop what-the-helling, Rider, you know you love it.' Julius kissed him again.

'Maybe.' Alex's voice felt a little higher than usual. 'You know I'd love to lose myself in the tender ecstasy of your lips and all that, but…'

'But you're a little freaked out?' Julius suggested. He pulled back and grinned. 'More fun for me.'

'Huh.'

'Aww, relax, Rider.' Julius rammed the knife deep into the wooden post and let it go. Alex gulped. Julius chuckled darkly and pulled his head back by the hair – gently, though, this time – beginning to kiss a path down his neck to the collar of his torn-open shirt.

'Like that?' he mumbled as he kissed.

'Uh…uh-huh?'

Julius rolled his eyes. 'You are so vanilla.'

'And you are beyond kinky. Let's not…' he slipped up a little on the words as Julius's lips brushed his nipple. 'Let's not judge one another, m'kay? You're going to bite that, aren't you?'

Julius sniggered and caught the nipple between his teeth.

'Ow,' Alex said half-heartedly. Julius shrugged and moved lower, tracing round the edge of one of Alex's pretty-damned-nice pecs while his fingers combed through his treasure-trail. Alex was pretty much blond all over, but Julius's body hair had started coming out dark. Another difference, another reason to hate Alex just a little bit less.

When he slid down onto his knees Alex gasped; Julius could see in the tautness of his muscles that he was trying to resist bucking forward. Yeah, sure, pretend you don't want it. He leaned forward, brushing his lips over the sensitive places right on Alex's belt-line that made his stomach muscles flutter involuntarily when they were kissed. Alex took a deep, steadying breath, so then of course Julius had to make sure he was thoroughly unsteadied by latching on to the front of his trousers and starting to suck. Alex gasped and arched, and Julius pulled away, remarking,

'You're covered in icing sugar.'

'Must make a nice change for you.'

'I hate sugar.'

Alex made an exasperated sound. 'So don't suck my trousers then; God!'

'You want me to undo them.'

'I want nothing of the sort! I'm just saying if you don't like sugar –'

'Whatever.' Julius reached forward, dealing with buttons, zip, the flap of boxers…if anyone had suggested, after Alex had trashed Point Blanc, that one day he would get down on his knees for him, Julius would probably have killed them on the spot, but, well, things changed. He had been so naïve back then, thinking that what he wanted was to see Alex dead. He hadn't wanted his death at all, what he had wanted was the killing. Why do people taking revenge always gloat? Because it's not the fact of the death of your enemy, but the power you have over them beforehand, and what is the point of having that power if they don't ever get to realise that you have it? What he really wanted, Julius had come to realise over the years, was the power he would have over Alex when he was killing him slowly.

Alex had destroyed his future, beaten him, and walked away without so much as a backward glance. So easily, not caring, he had rocked Julius's world, and what Julius had been after ever since was to rock his back. And there were two ways to do that. Kill him, or…

Alex was moving his hips now; Julius swallowed each thrust easily. He had spent quite a lot of time and effort learning to deep-throat, not because he wanted Alex to feel mind-blowing pleasure or anything like that, but because he was damned if he was going to give Alex the satisfaction of seeing him do anything less than perfectly. He slid his tongue over and round and down again and back up, and Alex finally gave a proper, drawn-out moan.

Julius teased a little, making his bobs unpredictable – short, long, short, short, shallow, deep – and Alex groaned, tugging on the handcuffs that he'd almost managed to forget about. He ached to get his hands in Julius's hair and move him up and down how he wanted; the feeling was, though he would never have admitted it, actually quite hot. He pulled on the cuffs again, letting them jangle. Julius would undoubtedly get off on it, but he was sucking Alex off, after all; Alex supposed he kind of owed him something back. A light scrape of teeth brought him back to reality, and he decided he would reserve judgement on exactly how much he owed Julius until after he'd come. He had learnt never to take anything for granted with Julius; one never knew when he might bite, or slow down agonisingly, or get bored and wander off to leave him hard and with nothing he could do about it – Alex grimaced; that had happened once. All in all, a blowjob from Julius was rather difficult to relax into, though that at least meant he was lasting a good long time. Julius was urging him to give in to it though, fluttering, pressing, massaging with his tongue, finding all the best spots; teasing over his slit, blowing his breath out hot-and-cold over his saliva-wet skin. Come on, don't do anything stupid this time, Alex pleaded internally. Just carry on and let me finish… A hand came up to cup his balls – because of course you can still use your hands, bastard – rolling and squeezing, Julius was taking him in again, lips sliding easily now down his slick shaft, teeth – dammit – but thank goodness, only gently, skimming down, then tongue over his head and sucking – and he was coming, hard, arms twisting awkwardly as his body spasmed, head pressed back into the squared-off edge of the post, but too lost in the hot wet pleasure round his cock to care.

The feeling subsided. Breathing heavily, eyes closed, he felt Julius swallow, slowly, slide off him and pull his trousers back into place. He heard the brisk buzz of his zip being pulled up, then a rustle as Julius got to his feet.

'You totally just solicited sex from a criminal suspect,' he whispered in his ear. 'Are you sure you wouldn't rather just drop this, officer?'

'Solicited? More like you insisted.'

'You see it that way?' Julius asked, then shrugged and leaned in closer. 'In that case I'll insist again if you let me off.'

Alex wasn't sure what realistic conclusion they could draw this scene to, but he felt that something was required.

'Alright then, I'll see what I can do,' he grumbled.

'Super-dooper,' Julius breathed, then reached both arms round him, in what could almost have been an embrace, to snap the handcuffs free.

Released, Alex stretched his arms up, rolling his shoulders, then wrapped them firmly around Julius and pulled him close.

'What the hell are you doing?' Julius demanded.

'Hugging.'

Julius wriggled. 'Now that really is weird.'

'I know, right,' Alex agreed vaguely, resting his cheek on Julius's hair, remembering the day when Sabina had said grumpily, 'Jules, you hate looking like Alex so much? Buy some hair dye already!'

'Hey, Jules,' Alex said, pushing a thigh into his groin in search of an erection, 'do you…I mean, don't you want anything?'

Julius pulled away. 'I did want to be handcuffed to my bed and fucked by a police officer,' he said, 'but unfortunately you couldn't handle that, so I took care of it while I was doing you.'

'Uh…what?'

'You're incredibly unobservant when you're getting blown, you know.'

'Oh.' Alex rubbed the back of his neck. 'Er…right.'

Julius laughed. 'Yeah, right. Now, I left the kettle on the hot plate. You want some tea?'

Alex raised one eyebrow at him. 'You know, only you would offer someone tea just to pander to your own fetishes.'

Julius threw him a puzzled look. 'Why else would anyone give anyone else tea?'

'It's so weird.'

'You look good drinking tea, alright? Go through to the living room and sit on the sofa; I'll make it. And put that hat back on.'

Alex followed these instructions, and in a couple of minutes Julius walked through with two cups full of milky tea. Alex took his, wondering vaguely about what sort of things Julius might have had the opportunity of putting in it but deciding that he didn't particularly care. Julius sat opposite him, his own cup untouched, and watched him as he sipped from his teacup in his ripped-up shirt and police cap, slumped in the crook between the back of the sofa and its arm, occasionally raising a hand to rub at his aching neck.

'You're all bruised,' Julius pointed out after a moment.

'Well duh,' Alex shot back. He shifted in his seat. 'Stop staring at me; it's weird.'

'Why do you come here if you don't like being stared at?' Julius asked. Alex didn't reply, just took another gulp of tea. 'I mean it: why do you come.' Another silence. 'Why?'

Alex shrugged. 'I don't know; why do you invite me?'

'Don't ask me that!' Julius leapt to his feet and Alex put down his hot tea hastily on the table. One of these moods.

'You know you're supposed to sit down and count to ten,' he said dryly.

Julius snarled. 'Why do you come? Why? Is it just because you enjoy watching me mess myself around? Are you so God-damned narcissistic you get off on your own damned face? What?'

Alex raised one eyebrow infuriatingly, Julius went for his collar, and Alex caught him by wrist and knee and had him flat on his back on the couch in a second.

He wriggled up so that they were eye to eye, planting an elbow either side of Julius's head.

'I do it because you need it,' he said gently.

'Saint Rider,' Julius spat.

'I care that you need it,' Alex said. He bent down and kissed Julius on the lips. 'And I do it because you're the only person I know who's just as fucked-up as I am, and because you actually are a pretty good snogger.' He bit his lip ruefully. 'Once we get past the whole biting thing.'

'Which you still claim to hate.'

Alex sighed and rolled onto his back. 'I don't know if I could really do it vanilla, to be honest,' he said. He glanced sideways. 'Maybe with you.'

'Because you know that I get violent so if I wasn't violent it would be for real?'

Alex took a moment to decipher this sentence, then nodded. 'Yeah, that's it.'

Julius propped himself on his elbow and brushed a hand over the cuts on Alex's chest.

'I should clean those up,' he muttered.

'It's not really necessary; they're not deep.'

'I want to do the whole bandages and disinfectant thing, okay?' Julius huffed, getting to his feet. 'Jeez, so fucking obtuse…'

'So damned kinky,' Alex mouthed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

'Oh, just suck it up, Al.'

'Hey,' Alex called, as Julius made for the door. 'You know, I think this shirt still has a bit of wear in it? You up for another round? I'll get it right this time.'

Julius turned in the doorway. 'Oh, sure you will.'

'Come on, I'm not a mind-reader. Give me a chance.'

'Oh, all right,' Julius sighed, trying not to look eager in the slightest. 'My bed's got pretty good rails for cuffing people to; just let me get the first-aid kit.'

Alex remembered something. 'Oh, Jules? We might have to break in through the window, I'm afraid. I put the dresser across the door and forgot to move it before I came downstairs.

'Well, of all the…genius,' Julius yelled from the hall. Alex lay back on the sofa and grinned.

Just casually climb through an upstairs window. He was sure that between them they would manage it.

All in all, he had to admit there were worse ways to spend a weekend.

A/N: Julius is unstable which means I can make him have random plot-important mood-swings WHENEVER THE HECK I WANT! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Also, I think I'm the only person I know who goes off into long philosophical explanations in the middle of blow-jobs. Trying – desperately – to – prove – this – pairing – works – So, how was it? Leave a review, and feel free to take it apart, because it was my first attempt at PWP, kinksex, smut involving Alex (sort of – I have been known to fade to black) and Julius's character, and it needs fine-tuning. Also send me links to any other Julius-fics you know of; that boy requires a MAJOR fandom-resuscitation.

True Colours, over and out!