Castle inhales up to marking as his heartbeat counts to eight. Exhales again; eight, nine, ten... His breathing is so constant and deep, it feels like the ocean rolling back and forth in his ribcage, equally wide and free and peaceful.
Kate lies next to him; is sprawled up against him, her legs entangled with his, she watches her hand rise and fall on his chest.
Kate, he says, exhales her name every now and then.
What? He drinks her voice in as much as he can. It's so low. Soft. Naked in the night, somehow. And naked they are.
His hand rests against the small of her back, her hair falls over her shoulders, and neck, and his forearm.
Kate, he says again. She doesn't reply, but raises her head and looks at him.
I can't believe this is the truth. Fall asleep and risk that you might not be here tomorrow. Stop touching you. Finish this sentence. Her body is so warm.
What? There is a thick streak of hair falling from her right ear as she tilts her head. Her ear. He touches it. Because it's her perfect little vulnerable ear and he's allowed to touch it (as well as bite it and oh god).
Her chin is on his chest and it's simply unbelievable how her lips are millimeters from his skin.
They drink their moment of quietness together like red wine. She smells like shampoo, rain and sex, Castle's fingers curl around hers. They had crashed into each other, collided like stars and thundered like the storm; and now it's so, so quiet and untroubled. Castle can't believe how close they are, how much this moment belongs to only them.
Castle?
How can he need anything else when she talks in that voice? Just Castle, how she says that now. Tenderly. He doesn't look at her, there is so much to say and nothing comes out.
But she kisses his face, the corner of his mouth, his eyes as he closes them in pleasure, the side of his nose, his hairline.
I'm curious for you.
Haven't you known me for years?
Irony upon irony, I have and yet haven't.
What do you mean?
She shifts in her position and he automatically moves with her, shivering inwardly with pleasure at how comfortable it is between them. Now.
I know you from where I stood, and I know you very well. But I'm standing... kind of closer now.
I'm overwhelmed and wordless, he chokes on all the things that want to get out. She doesn't inquire any further. She's right, he thinks, he knows her and yet doesn't, he knows all the things about her, reads her, and yet; four years and never has she bored him. Probably never will.
So they are silent again, just breathing in and out, the same air. He tastes her in his mouth. Tongue and teeth. No words needed.
She rolls on her back, - Kate, he thinks, Kate -, props herself up on her elbows and lets out a relieved groan. Castle looks at her face. She looks back.
I can touch you now.
You always could, her wants to say, but he doesn't. He's speechless. For once.