One day a lonely panda was eating bamboo by himself. The panda's name was Percy. Percy the panda decided he was getting a little chubby. Percy gathered his essentials in his Minecraft backpack and ventured out to get a liposuction. On the way, he came across a guy in a blue fur suit face down in a ditch. "Sir? Are you okay?" Percy asked. "Hmm? Oh hey what's up Luis! Crazy party last night, huh?" the man said. "Sir, have you been drinking?" Percy asked. "Get off my case Luis, I'm fine! If you are going to be this intolerant, I'll give you something to drink!...Metaphorically of course." the man threatened. The man was about to smash a bottle on Percy's head but before he could lay a hand on the panda, an arrow struck him down. He fell to the ground with a loud thud. "Run, this is not a safe path, young panda." a mysterious hidden man said. Percy just backed away and ran off.
Percy came across Toast City, where things were anything but toasty. Percy was very careful venturing through this city, as the people here were a little bit strange. As Percy passed by an alley, he noticed many heavy stares from people who appeared to be in fur suits. This was strange, as nobody else in the city seemed to wear fur suits. "Hey kid, we know what you did to Frank on the way over here." said a man. "I don't know what you are talking about sir." Percy said. "Nice try kid, who payed you to do it, huh? I bet it was the weebs." said another man. "Who? What wee-" Percy tried to say, but he was cut off by a cardboard shuriken. "What do you want, weeb?" a man said to the weeb. "Watashitachiha bata, anata no dobutsu ga hoshidesu." said the weeb. "What? We don't speak Naruto you weebs!" said a man. "Ugh, give us the butter you stupid animals." said the weeb. "Listen you weebs, you aren't getting anything out of us, but you can take this panda I guess." said a man. Percy was very worried. "Alright I don't know what we would use him for, but what the heck, it's something." said the weeb, which then took Percy.
"Alright panda, give us a reason why we should just kill you and use your body as a trophy." said one of the weebs. "I do not know sir! I was only ever told my, uh, weight would be of value one day. Maybe you could find use of it," Percy pleaded, "I did need a liposuction, you could use my fat as a power source of something else, I do not know sir! Just please spare me!" The weeb thought for a second and came up with a solution. "Alright, so panda, we have been at war with the furry mafia for years over butter. For you see, in Toast City, butter is very valuable for obvious reasons. We could use your fat as butter for our toast. I shall taste some, see if it might work as a butter subsitute, and possibly free you if it works." the weeb offered. "Yes sir, thank you, we can start at once!" Percy joyfully exclaimed.
A couple hours later, Percy now regains consciousness. "Did the procedure work?" Percy asked. "Yes, panda. Your fat seems to be most tasteful and a great butter subsitute. May I ask where you came from, panda?" said the weeb. "I am from Pandaville. Why do you ask such a question?" Percy asked. "Oh, don't worry about why. Now exit at once, we have spared you." the weeb said firmly. Percy left the facility, kind of confused, possibly worried, but a little bit relieved as he had saved his life.
On the way home, pandas started running past him frantically. Percy was very confused. He stopped and asked one panda that was running why everyone was fleeing the village. "Listen, Percy is it? Some ninja-looking people showed up and are capturing all of us! Save yourself, kid!" Percy ran toward the village. When he reached his house his family was packing up their stuff to flee. "Mother, what should we do!?" asked Percy. "Percy, pack your things, right now the better question is "Why is this happening?"" his mother said. Percy took a step back and realized why this was happening. Ninja-looking people? Capturing pandas? This was Percy's fault. The weebs must have liked the taste of panda fat so much that they are now going to capture his whole village and mass produce their fat. Percy walked outside and saw utter chaos in the village. People running from burning buildings, screaming. Weebs were leaping around the village capturing his friends, everyone Percy had ever known.
How will Percy save his village? Does he even have an idea of where to start? Is he even mentally prepared? Find out in the next amazing Percy the Panda story.