A/N: Yes I'm reediting. It's been years since I looked at this story and being the little college shit head I am I decided to rewrite it and post it back up. Lets see how well the almost 20 year old me can write.

ps. This is totally one of those fics where it switches back n forth with the pov even within the chapters so sorry if you're annoyed by the constant switching back and forth. blame my addiction to the game of thrones books. George Martin does nothing but that.

Quinn's POV

"Are you ready Fabray or do I have to carry your ass away from your reflection?"

Quinn rolled her eyes but finally got up and picked up her bag and walked out of the locker room with her friend.

"By the way, I totally saw you checking me out."

"Right, your third eye seems to see more of what you want than what is actually there. I'm sure Brittany would love to hear about it."

Santana just rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say, but one day I'm going to be saying I knew it."

They both went in separate directions once they were outside in the parking lot. Quinn got her bag out of her car and started walking up the steps of McKinley high school. She wished the day would end faster than it began. She was not in the mood with dealing with school today. School was nowhere near pleasant for her to be at. She had to make sure she had a reputation there and be on top. Date the most popular boy in school (Who was Finn Hudson), make sure she won senior prom queen (It won't be taken away from her again), and make sure that whatever got in her way got taken care of fast.

Quinn felt herself slam into someone as her head abruptly came out of the clouds. She fell backwards and caught herself on her elbows more painfully than swiftly.

Quinn found Rachel Berry picking up her books and scattered sheet music. She got up and made sure she was towering over Rachel while giving her the best bitch glare she could, "Watch where you're going RuPaul."

Rachel didn't bother looking up while tucking all of her things in her arm again, "I'm so sorry Quinn. I didn't see you, I was just texting-"

"I really don't care who you were texting. Just stay out of my way." Quinn put her arms on her hips and leaned on her boyfriend's locker. She proceeded to put on the same act she did everyday, act like she cared for their relationship.

"Hey are you okay?" Finn said as he hunched over to make himself seem normal height.

"Yeah, just bruised."

He rubbed her arm awkwardly while checking his phone.

Rachel's POV

Rachel got up and brushed herself off. She turned around and saw Quinn Fabray head over to Finn and lean her back on his locker. Her stomach turned sour while she looked away and turned to the other direction to head towards the Choir room as planned. She had always felt sick whenever seeing them together. She was sure it was because Finn and herself had a thing in freshman year until Quinn ended it between them and made Finn take her back. She leaned on the piano organizing her sheet music while her mind thought about how Quinn Fabray would never care about anybody other than herself. She opened her phone to the text message she was reading and started texting back.

Meet me in the choir room? -Finn

Go ahead and come in. -Rach

Finn walked in mouthing words looking like he practiced what he was going to say over and over again in his mind. He started out talking as if he had trouble speaking, "Rach, I've been thinking a lot about things lately-"

"Before you go on Finn, I would want you to know that I respect yours and Quinn's relationship and I wouldn't do anything else to tarnish that."

"But what If I didn't want to be with her and I wanted to be with you?"

Rachel cleared her throat a little and furrowed her eyebrows trying to continue talking while disregarding what he said, "And we both know that we've tried. I know now that no matter what happens, you'll always be with Quinn... That's okay though.. because she's you're first love."

"It doesn't matter who my first love was. You seen how she reacted to you this morning. Rachel, can you honestly tell me you don't feel anything between us anymore?"

Rachel had been trying to answer this in her mind for a while now. She doesn't know why things are so confusing for her. She doesn't like seeing him with Quinn down the hallway, but when it's just them two alone like this she doesn't see him as anything but this over sized child. She starts chewing on her lip for a bit confused but before she can answer his question he leaned down trying to cup her face and kiss her.

Rachel turned her face away right before their lips touched.

Finn looked at her confused, "Don't you want to be with me?"

"I don't know what I want Finn. Now I would appreciate it if you left me to practice my arrangement." She got her stack of music sheets and placed them in front of her trying to concentrate on the notes while he walked away confused.

Quinn's POV

Quinn Fabray sat in class wondering why Finn left in such a hurry earlier that day. She just wanted the day to be over so she can have some alone time. All she needed was everyone to go away so she wouldn't feel like exploding. She felt pressure from everyone to be this perfect girl who goes to church and keeps the Cheerios in line. Life was a job to her. Why couldn't she be anyone else? She wouldn't mind even being Rachel Berry. Having two dads that love her for who she is, supports her in whatever she does, and raising her be a confident woman even when people bully her every single day. Even when she gets put down the lowest, Rachel's smile still breaks through her face shining.

Her thoughts stayed on the girls smile and her life that Quinn wished she had until she realized she was daydreaming about Rachel. The girl SHE bullies everyday. The girl who stole HER boyfriend away for that short amount of time. The girl who almost ruined everything for Quinn.

The bell rang for the final class of the day to be over and she was more than happy to get out of there as fast as possible. She tried to get to her locker as quickly as her legs would let her go when Santana stopped her.

"We have last minute practice. Don't forget your pom-poms and smile head cheerio Quinn Fabray."

Santana winked at her while turning away.

Shit.

She thought about what would happen if she just skipped this one practice but quickly disregarded that thought. The head cheerleader does not miss practices. She knew that. So, she put on her best smile, got her stuff out of her locker for cheer and made her way to the locker room to switch her backpack for her sports bag.

Cheer practice droned on like always. She was like a robot having her body do the moves but her mind was somewhere else. She was aware of the world around her but she couldn't feel anything anymore. Everything around her was a blur but her body kept moving on without her as if it was on autopilot. She knew that if she didn't fix herself soon, everything could unravel. When practice was finally ended she headed straight to her car so she can just get away.

Santana tried catching up to her best friend while not understanding her urgency, "Fabray why do you want to leave so fast? Brit wants to get our breadstix on."

"Sorry Santana, I got a lot of homework. I'll see you later okay?"

She hurried herself out of the parking lot and on to her way home. She was trying hard to concentrate on the road but she was just so tired and her mind kept wandering away to other things like Finn that morning. If something was going on again she had to nip it in the bud. There was no room for mistakes in Quinn's life. Why couldn't things come as easy to her as it has for everyone else. There used to be a time when she was able to feel true happiness and be in the moment. But that was when she was a little girl before her looks became a problem and her parents couldn't bare to look at her until she got "fixed".

With all the stress and anxiety going through Quinn's body, she failed to see the stop sign in the intersection she passed through. Another car coming into the intersection slammed on their breaks, trying to avoid Quinn's car. At that moment a lifetime of thoughts went through her mind as if time finally granted her wish of stopping for her. As the car came into her the only person on her mind was Rachel Berry. It was her smile and her voice that passed through her mind. She loved Rachel's smile more than she loved anything else in the world. She realized that that's what got her through her days and that's what made her so crazy over her.

It took a car crash and most likely instant death for Quinn to realize deep seeded issues. It's ironic how death would give you direct answers to years of pain and suffering. Quinn could almost laugh at the fact that she knew this was something that would've taken years to discover. She regretted every decision she made since her nose surgery. She regretted every mean name she called Rachel and hated every moment she spent wasting her time on her life that she absolutely hated.

Quinn's body tensed up and she closed her eyes knowing that if she left this world, her heart would stay with Rachel. Time began to speed up as the other car slammed into her, flipping her car to the side having it slide until it fell on it's hood. Quinn passed out from impact and her mind sank into an empty abyss.