With Rebels Season 4 in full swing, I've found myself appreciating how much I enjoy and am going to miss Rebels. I've also found that, over the last few weeks, I've become hugely invested in Ezrabine/Sabezra. I have no idea why, I don't usually like pairings in shows and initially I wasn't a fan of the pair, but after S3 and now S4, I'm convinced not only will they end up together, but also I actually feel it makes sense and works for both characters. It's been a long time since I've written fanfics; probably 4-5 years ago I wrote a bit of South Park and I think some Elder Scrolls but I've haven't got a clue of what they were anymore or what my account was. To be honest, the only writing I've done independently since has been a couple of political opinion pieces and history articles. However, I found myself wanting to write something with Ezra and Sabine so I settled on writing a couple of probably unrelated little stories with the two. I've read quite a few in the last few days, and whilst I liked some like 'The Argument', most involved either character death, graphic sex, a ridiculous amount of Legends material, Earth/ modern AU or a mountain of OCs, none of which were really what I personally wanted from a story. There were very few that I felt kept close enough to the show to fit my preference, so I though why not make one of my own. I have no idea if this will be any good or enjoyable, but why not? It seemed like fun.
This first one is just a random idea I had, a bit of fluff if you will. I didn't want it all to be just Ezrabine stuff so I decided to include a bit of story beforehand to fill out the chapter.
This is set just after Season 4's 2-part premiere 'Heroes of Mandalore'. In this scenario, the Wren clan host an event as a sort of celebration for their victory on Mandalore as well as a celebration of the future and to remember those who served Clan Wren that died in the fighting. Ursa, Tristna, Alrich and all the other Wrens go of course, including Sabine. Fenn Rau, Kanan, Ezra and I suppose Chopper are all welcomed to the event as guests. This story is from Sabine's perspective mainly, and covers a bit of the event and then the evening afterwards. The latter part of this fic is the main Ezrabine stuff, but I tried to make it all at least somewhat interesting.
Sabine sat on the right side of a table in the centre of the Throne Room of the Wren Stronghold, to her left her mother Ursa and then her father Alrich and her brother the furthest away. Their table was a few feet removed and facing into a U-shaped arrangement of three larger tables, on which sat dozens of Wren warriors and allies, a handful of Mandalorians from other Clans like Fenn Rau, and in the two seats closest to her on the right on the other table sat her two Jedi friends.
The atmosphere wasn't entirely what Sabine was expecting. She had never truly attended a traditional Mandalorian celebration like this. They weren't a culture to put much stock into celebrating birthdays or holidays, such events were reserved for a Mandalorians favourite times; victory in battle. Growing up under the Empire, there was no great conflict for her Clan to fight in, no battles or enemies to vanquish beyond a few pirates or a band of criminals. The fighting on Mandalore however, was different. Breaking the Empire's power, uniting in the face of an overwhelming enemy, recovering her father and, most importantly, emerging as victors was more than enough cause for revelry. To see the Mandalorian warriors in the hall laughing, talking, eating even, was unique. The only other times she'd see so many Mandalorians in one place would be before or just after a battle. It was nice, she reflected, to get together outside of the theatre of war. Of course, most of the discussion was of battle. Stories of Imperials slain on Mandalore or older stories of pirates, bounty-hunters and, if she overheard correctly, other Mandalorians. Additionally, given every Mandalorian in the room was not only donning their iconic armour but armed with a rifle or pistol as well, an outsider might be forgiven for thinking they were within moments of starting or finishing a battle.
Her mother and father was deep in conversation. As much as her mother in particular tried to project an image of strength and indifference, it was clear both were beyond happy to be at each other's side. The glowing smile they gave each other throughout the evening or the gentle holding of each other's hand both showed that deep down even the most stoic Mandalorian had a heart and the desire to open it to others. Sabine had been happy to spend most of the gathering enjoying the food and drinks, though she'd talk with her parents and had a few exchanges with her brother from across the table.
"Sabine Wren", the call snapped her away from her family and to her right where a tall Mandalorian woman wearing Clan Wren armour stood. "I haven't had the chance to speak to you. I am Phia Wren, cousin to your father. I haven't seen you since you were barely more than a baby."
Sabine straightened herself to address the warrior, "It's good to see you. I don't think I remember meeting you the first time. Thank you for your help, I'm glad you've been able to come tonight as well".
"You needn't owe me thanks Sabine. You led the warriors on Mandalore and you rescued your father", the Wren woman continued; "it is me who owes you thanks, for redeeming the Wren name for all of us". The woman smiled at Sabine, a genuine smile she noted, not a forced unatural attempt at one.
"I appreciate that, but it wasn't me alone. I couldn't have done it without all the warriors of Clan Wren". She was getting better at being diplomatic, maybe her time with that Darksaber was paying off after all.
Phia gave a quiet chuckle, "True, I suppose. Your humility is kind but it's okay to accept your own successes in leadership, even if it depended on those under your command". The older woman paused, and her look seemed to grow less happy, less prideful. "I'm sorry, Sabine".
The change of tone was something of a surprise to Sabine. "You're sorry? For what?", she asked, half knowing the answer.
"We let you down, we all did. When you stood up against the Empire, we were so focused on what we feared the Empire would do that we turned our back on family. We all knew the Empire was an enemy to be opposed, yet we shamed you and ourselves by staying quiet". Her apology was heartfelt and full of regret, yet the woman seemed confident in saying it. She was ashamed of what she and the other Wrens had done, but she was not too coward to own up to it.
Sabine still wasn't sure how to respond to her. "I.. you don't need to apologise. I broke my oath, I turned on that which I swore to follow, even if in my hear I was doing it for the right reasons". There wasn't any other way she could put it. She knew what the Empire was doing was terrible, and it hurt more than words could describe that her family turned on her, but deep down she knew she should have expected it. Mandalorians were nothing if no honourable, and to break an oath to serve was cause enough to shun someone.
The woman took no time to process her reply. "What you did was brave, more than most would do. I only wish we could have recognised that sooner,". The woman stopped and looked out amongst the people in the hall, most sitting but others walking around to talk with others in the hall. "It all seems to have worked out well for you though. Alrich is home and the Empire is beaten, for now at least,", the woman turned back to Sabine and seemed to collect herself. Reaching out one hand to rest on Sabine's shoulder, Phia Wren leaned slightly in to her "Congratulations Sabine, it is good to have you home". She pulled back and nodded a goodbye, and moved on to speak to her parents.
It wasn't the first encounter like this she'd had. A number of other Mandalorians had come up to her to congratulate her on her role in the victory and on her skill in battle. However, all or nearly all of them came with apologies for what had happened. They asked forgiveness for not standing by her all those years ago, for disrespecting her and for not trusting in her. She forgave every one of them and returned praises and thanks of course, and slowly felt that maybe, just maybe, she might find her place here on Krownest once again.
That time wasn't now though. While she had spent weeks here before returning to Atollon and then Mandalore, it was only now that she had finally confronted the weapon she created and damaged Imperial rule over Mandalore. It would take time for her and the others to adjust to the changes and what they had all endured. However, deep down she knew that her defection years ago still shamed all in Clan Wren. Whether the Empire was oppressive or not, she broke her oath to serve the Empire and turned her back on her family. When she returned only a few months ago some people in this hall tried shooting her down, and ever single one of them would probably have wanted her dead or imprisoned too. Despite everything they'd achieve, she knew it might take time for the others to erase that old view in favour of the Sabine that had returned with the Darksaber to fight for her family.
Family. The word in her mind caused her to turn to Kanan and Ezra, sitting nearby but too far to really engage with. Her and Era had exchanged a few smiles and faces throughout the evening, but no conversation. Kanan... well she was sure he felt her gaze a few times or her smiles in their direction. She knew Kanan couldn't see her, but she hoped that he'd sense her appreciation and acknowledgements. The two Jedi seemed to mostly talk among themselves when they could but did entertain several inquisitive guests sometimes. She'd hear the Wren warriors talking about how strange it was to work with Jedi and thank them for their part in liberating them. Typically there was some light-hearted boasting and challenges, Wren warriors asking to prove themselves against a Jedi. She didn't think Ezra or Kanan would oblige them, but then again Ezra might want to spar with one or two for the experience. Sure he was a Jedi, but from her own training with him she knew he enjoyed some well-meaning combat training.
Ezra seemed to turn to her as she looked, another genuine smile forming as he did so. Her own mouth instinctively replied with a smile as she met his gaze. He seemed to motion to Kanan next to him who was talking to two Mandalorian warriors about something or other. He must be bored she thought. She laughed a bit at him, enough for him to notice. He gave her a joking scowl back and laughed himself. He probably wanted to go off to have some time to himself, Ezra never had been one of big crowds or lots of strangers. Sabine probably would have joined him too. She loved her family yes, but she'd never been a typical Mandalorian glowing up and had always been a solitary person. A good Mandalorian when it came to combat, but also preferring to retire to her quarters and paint or draw rather than mingle with other people. She'd found Ezra to share her appreciation of peace and quiet. During their time on Atollon, they'd both prefer sitting on the outskirts of the perimeter sensors to relax rather than linger in the mess hall or common rooms in the base.
She smiled again, to herself this time. Ezra Bridger. He was far from the loth-rat they'd picked up 3 years ago. Taller, braver, stronger, faster, more mature. He'd grown as a leader and a warrior and seen more combat already than many people see in a lifetime. His Jedi powers had grown too her, she could see that when he fought. The young boy who struggled to block one blaster bolt a few years ago now could accurately send whole bursts of fire precisely at multiple different targets. She'd seen his skill in action many times, and through their sparring sessions she'd felt the effects too. Then there were the other ways he'd grown. Emotionally, physically, mentally. It seemed like a different person that had tried so poorly to flirt with her the moment they met. She was glad of it, she certainly wasn't interested in his advances when they met. Despite there being only two years between them, Ezra came across far too young for her tastes. The flirting had died down, though it'd still pop up now and again; there'd been a few attempts at a smooth compliment on a new hairstyle and a few winks and smirks when something she said could be taken in a certain unintentional way. They didn't bother her anymore, she'd even throw some his way too, like a wolf-whistle as he sat topless on the Ghost trying to patch up a post-battle scratch. There was never anything physical, not really anyway. However, she had on some occasions noticed him take a glance for a bit too long at her, or a bit too low on her for that matter. Privately, she knew he was still a 17 year old guy and she was, admittedly, an athletic and physically fit 19 year old girl. She knew to expect a few glances from men from time to time, and a boy of the same age that she spent so much time with was no expectation. She couldn't say she didn't return the favour sometimes. Ezra hadn't only grown upwards but filled out. His clothes no longer hung about him a size too big, his orange outfit seemed to fit rather well around what she knew was quite a well-toned physique; his arms made it most obvious, the obvious outlines of biceps clear through the orange suit. She knew she was attractive, though she wasn't the sort to be smug about it, and it was easy for her to recognise that Ezra was too.
She was too lost in thought to realise she'd been staring quite blankly in Ezra's direction for a bit too long. She snapped out of her trance to see him smile quizzically at her, furrowing his brow trying to figure out what she was doing. The smile soon became a laugh at her, one Sabine replied to with a firm glare that only seemed to encourage him.
"Everyone, may we speak", came the voice of her mother, echoing across all of the room. The bustling of conversations and laughs died down quite immediately, leaving her mother the chance to speak. "It's been many years since we have gathered here like this. To celebrate a hard-won victory over a strong opponent. Clan Wren has not had the easiest years recently, the Empire's rule had been hard on all of us. Now though, those times are over. We have broken their tyranny over all Mandalorians, and we will fight it should it ever return".
A loud series of cheers and shouts of agreement came from the Wren warriors. As their cheers of agreement subsided, it was her father's turn to address them. Standing up as well, Alrich Wren began to speak to his Clan, "I have been away for so long. I am glad to see you all here on my first night home. All of you had fought bravely and I am in debt to you all for your sacrifice. Many of our own died fighting the Empire, and we will hold their memories in honour for as long as Clan Wren endures." Another series of cheers rose up, coupled this time with applause. Her father paused, then she noticed him turn to her just briefly in the break. "To see my family together at last has made my captivity worthwhile. And my daughter has come home as well..." Sabine froze at the mention of her, she never really liked being the centre of attention. "I can speak for us all when I say we owe her our thanks, for leading us in our fight to rid Mandalore of the Imperials!". She could feel the eyes on her, and yet another series of applause only emphasised that.
She didn't flinch or cower, she's wasn't scared, but it was unusual to be the centre of attention here, of this crowd, a crowd that only a few months ago she thought she'd never see again. Her father continued his speech by thanking the warriors for their loyalty and continued on about this and that. As much as she loved her father, Sabine couldn't find herself paying attention. The events of the last few days, the meeting of so many old family members and the thought of just how much things had changed were too distracting and draining to keep her focus on other things. Before she knew it, her father had finished his speech and the tables erupted once more with chatter. A large group of warriors seemed to gather themselves and head outside, her brother included. Of course, a Mandalorian event won't be complete without some good friends punching each other in the face. She sat still in her seat, waiting for the event to wind down and allow to her rest. She then noticed, her two friends rise from their seats and walk over to her.
"They're right, you know", Kanan began as he approached, "If it wasn't for you, the Empire would still be in charge. Your father would still be in prison and all of the people here would be subjects of the Empire. We are very proud of you". Kanan smiled, she knew he meant it but she also knew he said it to tease her a bit. Kanan had tried when he first left her here, and he was going to say it.
Sabine smiled and stood up, pulling Kanan into a gentle hug. "Thank you, for everything. I meant it, Kanan". Sabine released him, and his hands moved to her shoulders.
"I hope this means we're getting you back on the Ghost, we've all been missing you". Kanan's comment earned a laugh from Sabine.
As Kanan's hands returned to his sides, Sabine laughed, "I doubt Chopper has, he's probably glad no one was there to spray paint him anymore,". Sabine looked at Ezra, his eyes told her he was still concerned. It took her a second to realise she hadn't answered Kanan's question. "Anyway, I was thinking... if you'd have me back I'd..."
Sabine's was cut off nearly immediately by Ezra, "Of course you can come back, it's not the same without you. Besides, I think the new base on Yavin is gonna need some of your work on its walls before we can call it home,". The thought had crossed her mind, of life on a new base, but like Zeb and Ezra she always preferred to be on or near the Ghost at all times. However, she was sure she'd like to explore all the old Yavin structures too.
"I'll have to let my family know I'm going away again, I'm sure they won't mind". She was secretly relieved she'd be going back to with them. She'd missed the Ghost. She'd missed Hera and Kanan, Zeb, Chopper and Rex too. And Ezra. Of all the people she'd missed in her time at home, it was Ezra she dwelled on most of all. She didn't know if it was the jokes they'd share, the way they just seemed to understand each other so well or something... more. Not a day went past where the young Jedi hasn't crossed her mind, and having his company again would be more than welcome.
Kanan placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder, "I'm going to contact Zeb, tell him we're here for the night then we'll be back tomorrow. I'm sure Hera will be glad to see us again. I'll probably turn in for the night, you coming?".
Sabine looked at Ezra, silently pleading with him to stay awhile. It seemed he got the message as he replied, "I'll come later, I'm gonna enjoy sitting around with a bunch of battle-hungry warriors for a bit longer". Kanan shook his head at Ezra's jokes, and Sabine answered the comment with a friendly punch to the arm.
"Alright, I'll be in the Gauntlet if you need me". Kanan turned and made his way out of the hall. It still amazed Sabine how naturally and easily he moved given his sight loss. From behind, it was almost as if he could see as well as anyone else. With his departure, she turned toward Ezra with a smile.
"Just us, huh? I don't fancy sitting around having a another twenty distant relatives talk about how great the battle was. Mind if we go somewhere else? Quieter?". Sabine was wanted to take a walk out one of the balconies, whichever was furthest from the crowd of Mandalorians not outside fighting to cheers and laughter.
Ezra smirked, "Oh? Miss me that much did you?", Ezra laughed and got another, slightly harder punch from the Mandalorian. He wasn't usually that forward with his flirting, and Sabine wasn't sure it was a bad change.
"You wish, Bridger", she replied back, giving him a wink as the two turned towards a door on the side of the hall. She had missed him. A lot. More than perhaps she should have as a friend. More perhaps? Her and Ezra's relationship has been close for a long time, but even so the feeling of having him back was a lot better than she knew it probably should be. You don't love him, do you? No, love's too strong a word, not straight away, not like that anyway. "Like" him? That made her feel like a child in a playground. Sabine shook the thoughts from her head as they proceeded out into a corridor. She lead him down towards the third door on the right of the hallway and went through it onto a small but sheltered balcony overlooking the lake.
The two stood on the edge of the railing, leaning forward. A few seconds of silence hung between them. It wasn't that they had nothing to say, just neither knew where to start. To her surprise, it was Ezra who piped up.
"It's good to see you again. It's been really weird not having you around. We're a team, it's not right having you halfway across the galaxy with other people."
Sabine looked over to him, "Other people? They're my family. You guys are too yeah, but I wasn't exactly in danger."
"Well I sure have been, thanks for asking. You know I had to sneak into Thrawn's office? And fly a Y-Wing through a nebula?". Ezra seemed happy about both of those, proud even. Sabine realised that, whilst they had been on Mandalore for a few days, they hadn't really caught up or had a real conversation that whole time.
"Really? Don't tell me you got caught or something?", Sabine was genuinely interested in what she'd missed, and of course it sounded like she'd missed a mission she'd have loved to have.
"No, nearly did. Trying to get Kallus out of Thrawn's reach and he ended up framing another guy. For all the good it did him in the end I guess. What about you? I haven't heard about your wonderful adventures?", Ezra was smiling still, shaking his head thinking about the mission.
Sabine looked back out over the lake. "I can't think I really did much. I spent all my time here planning and strategising with Rau and my mother and brother. Some sparring practice with Tristan, that was the most enjoyable part."
Ezra perked up and smirked at her, "Must have been good to train with someone else, it's not like you're able to beat me, right?". Ezra laughed, he did seem to enjoy poking fun at her quite a lot. She knew there was nothing mean behind it, and it was nice to have the back and forth every now and again.
"You mean it was good to fight someone who was actually a challenge". Sabine knew she wasn't being fully honest with that one. Hand-to-hand she could beat him with a bit of a struggle, and she was unquestionably the better marksman. Sword-fighting less so, to be honest she struggled to contend with him at the start and even their last fight was tough. He was better than her at that no doubt about it, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of admitting it. She turned to fully face the boy, man, at her side.
Ezra saw this and did the same and they locked eyes again as they started laughing once more. As they stood facing each other, the laughing slowed leaving the two silent in the crisp air. As she stood gazing at him, she took in the boy she hadn't truly seen for weeks and have missed seeing every day. The black and slightly blue-shaded hair, the heartwarming smile, those beautiful blue eyes, those last ones were always obvious. As an artist, the deep blue had struck here as soon as she saw him. She kept looking at him, and in her head she realised how much she had missed him. He was her closest friend and the only person she felt confident sharing most things with. They'd saved each other's lives more than the other could count and she trusted him more than even she would let on. Show him, Sabine. Show him. Sabine tried pushing the thought away. She wasn't going to jump into his arms and claim she loved him. In truth, she wasn't sure she did yet. But there was something about him, something magnetic, something drawing her to him even before her time on Krownest, something that seemed to have grown exponentially with their time apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, she thought to herself. He was staring back at her all this time. She couldn't tell what was going on behind those sapphire eyes, and for a moment she half feared his abilities might clue him in to what was going on behind her own. He'd always been respectful of her thoughts, not even trying to use the force to anticipate her moves in training. She didn't think he'd break that trust now. They couldn't just stand there staring in each other's eyes forever. She knew what she wanted to do, to show him she missed her without opening a whole new level of stuff that frankly she didn't want to deal with right now.
She closed the small gap between them and threw her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder and pulling him into a warm embrace. His arms settles around her waist almost immediately. Almost as if he was prepared for this already. The cold air of Krownest seemed to dissolve away as she took in the warmth of the hug. She'd hug Kanan and Hera, maybe even Zeb too, when she wanted them to know she appreciated them. This hug would have been the same too, if it had stopped after a second. She found herself simply not letting go, letting him hold her quietly on the balcony. After everything she'd been through in the last few weeks and days, that moment seemed to finally be the relief that she was looking for.
They stayed almost unmoved for a while, maybe a minute or more, before Ezra suddenly but gently tightened the embrace and leaned down to Sabine's ear. "I've missed you".
Sabine pulled in tighter, not wanting to let go. "I've missed you too," she admitted, her voice partially muffled by the shoulder she refused to let go of.
The deepened embrace lingered for a while longer before Ezra slowly let go, holding her arms below the shoulder and looking at the young Mandalorian. "It's late and cold out here, we should go get some sleep".
Sabine had half wanted to cling on to the hug even as Ezra pulled away, but she knew they couldn't stay there forever. However, she wasn't ready to let him go away for the night just yet. She thought for a moment again unsure of what to do. The moment the idea came to her, she knew he'd jump at the thought. "Do you mind if you stay a bit longer?", she asked, trying her best to not sound too clingy.
"It's cold here, we can't stay out here freezing all night", Ezra smiled as he looked at her. "Is there somewhere else we can go?".
Sabine knew her idea was going to work, of course it would, but she didn't want him to now how well she could understand him. "I was thinking we could go to my room, I still feel like we've barely talked since we've seen each other. We can catch up, have a caf maybe, like we do back home on the Ghost."
Ezra seemed to have been taken aback by the idea. He'd obviously hung out with her in her quarters on the Ghost, but this was different. The Ghost was less private, less personal. Sure it was her room, but it wasn't her ship and she never had any issues with people coming in or out. Her and Ezra had spent many hours talking and catching up after mission sitting in her quarters. Here, it was different. More private, more personal. There wasn't even other chairs to use, the only place to sit would be the single large bed that dominated the room.
"Um, I... yeah. We can do that. If you want, I mean". Ezra's cheeks seemed to have reddened slightly at the mention. It wouldn't tak a genius to figure out the first thing that had popped into Ezra's head. Sabine didn't intend anything like that, now wasn't the time or place to start thinking of that. All she wanted was his company, to block out the world for only a few minutes or hours and spend it with someone she lov- cared about so much.
Sabine took his hand in hers and led the Jedi back inside. She crossed the hall into another corridor and the up the stairs. They walked along until they reached a door with a colourful emblem of a Mandalorian warrior. Acknowledging her identiy, the door opened for her into a small room with a single bed and a handful of desks around the walls. There was one painting of the lake on a sunny morning hanging in the corner. A handful of artistic materials lay on various desks, as did a spare pistol, rifle, one of her vambraces and her beloved helmet.
Ezra let go of her hand and stood admiring her small quarters. "Thought there'd be more colour", he teased.
"I haven't exactly had much time to paint when I've been here. I've been so busy I've barely had time to spruce up the place. Doesn't matter now, I'll be in my room on the Ghost tomorrow night anyway." The thought made her smile, and Ezra seemed to enjoy the idea as well.
"You mentioned getting some caf? I'll go grab some, then I'll come back." Ezra turned to the door but looked back as he left, "Don't miss me too much". He was gone and the door had closed before she could reply.
Too late for that now. She sighed to herself and begun tidying some of the things in her room. It'd be nice to make it look a bit nicer for the evening. She thought of what to wear for the night. Underarmour trousers and a t-shirt seemed to be the best balance of comfort and warmth. You could really drive him crazy she thought to herself. She was right, it'd be easy to ditch the trousers for some tight-fitting shorts, or the t-shirt for a more revealing workout top. You could go even less... Sabine bit her lip ever so slightly. She could easily make this into a test run of just how attracted to her Ezra really was. She was pretty confident of the answer. However, she eventually settled on the original idea. Not tonight. One night, maybe soon, but not tonight.
She ditched her armour and placed it into its storage box and switched out her underlayer for a loose-fitting t-shirt. She glanced at herself in the mirror, the underlayer trousers were remarkably form-fitting. Okay, he'll get something to tease him, but not too much. She was fairly pleased with herself as she threw herself down on the soft bed and waited for her friend to return.
A few minutes passed with Sabine staring at the darkening evening sky of her homeworld before the door chimed to signal Ezra had returned. She pulled herself up from the bed and tapped the door control to see the young Jedi standing with a smile, two steaming mugs in his hand.
As Sabine turned back to sit on her bed, Ezra followed, "Took you long enough", she joked, but he didn't reply. You know why he's not saying anything, right Sabine? You've got mind wondering elsewhere. She sat herself down at the top of her bed and turned to face him. As Ezra passed her the mug, Sabine leaned against the wall at the head of her bed and motioned Ezra to do the same next to her.
"So this is where Sabine Wren grew up, huh?", Ezra asked after a few moments.
Sabine took a sip of her drink and began to answere, "Mostly yeah. I had a bit more decoration growing up. Unsurprisingly, they got rid of a lot of it after... you know".
"Oh, I- Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up", Ezra fumbled his words, seemingly regretful of bringing up a topic he knew Sabine wasn't that fond of taking about.
Sabine gave a soft smile, "It's okay Ezra, it's in the past now.". She decided she wanted to move the topic onto something less serious. "So what do you think of my family? Not what you expected?".
Ezra laughed slightly before responding, "Yeah, I knew Mandalorians loved fighting and were all serious, but seeing it in a huge hall full of them was still weird. I must have heard a dozen stories about someone single-handedly fighting a whole pirate crew or killing an Imperial squad tonight".
Another smile covered Sabine's lips, "I can't tell if you think that's a good thing or a bad thing".
"It was good to hear them. Kinda impressive too". Ezra turned his face towards her with a sly grin, "You know you might not be the most impressive Mandalorian I've met anymore".
She jabbed at him with her elbow the way they always had. "You know you're still my least favourite Jedi, right?".
"You don't mean that", Ezra laughed, "I gotta be your favourite person on the Ghost by now, and obviously your favourite Jedi".
You might be more right than you know. "Let's see; I like Kanan more, Hera, Zeb and Chopper too. Guess that proves you wrong again".
Ezra gave her a faked sad face and hung his head low. He raised it again a few seconds later to reply, "You wouldn't hug the others like you hugged me on the balcony".
What did he just say? Sabine was taken aback for a moment, not expecting him to so openly talk about the moment they'd shared. She couldn't think of how to reply, leaving her sitting silently as Ezra looked right at her. For a few painful seconds they sat quietly. Sabine didn't know if this was his way of starting to talk about... things. Feelings, whatever. As Sabine racked her brain for a reply she was interrupted with Ezra's laughing.
"Told you I was your favourite". Ezra leaned back again, taking another sip of his drink and looking quite pleased with himself.
Sabine couldn't think of a reply, she wasn't sure there was one. Moving the conversation on seemed to be the best way to avoid opening up things she wasn't ready to deal with yet. She thought for a moment, then decided she'd try and get him to open up about everything that had happened. With the base on Atollon, his encounter with Maul and all the fighting they'd just been a part of, Sabine hadn't had a chance to see how he was really feeling.
"How are you feeling, Ezra? Honestly. Between what happened on Atollon and losing Sato and so many others and whatever happened with Maul, you've been through a lot". Sabine put her caf onto the stand by her bedside, and turned her body of its side to face Ezra.
Ezra seemed to stop and process what she'd asked, his face grew more serious and the smile that had been there before faded. He too placed his drink aside, but stopped short of turning to face her, preferring to stare ahead to the wall.
"We lost so much, so many people. We worked so hard to get there and in one day the Empire took it all away. We lost Sato and that carrier and so many ships and pilot and-", Ezra had gotten visibly frustrated as he went on but stopped himself before going to far. "I just don't know how we'll recover. I guess I might feel better after seeing what state everything is in on Yavin, but until then, I don't know..."
Sabine looked him up and down, it was odd to see him so visibly sad, nowadays anyway. "I'm sorry Ezra, there's nothing you could have done to stop it. We all knew it could happen, all of Phoenix Cell did". Even to her, it didn't make it easier, but she couldn't just sit there and let him walllow in sadness.
"I know I know. I just wish we had more to show for it. Some victory to pull from all that loss".
"What about Maul? I thought you said he was gone?", Sabine admittedly didn't know much beyond that and was quite interested to know what had happened to the red-skinned warrior.
The question seemed to have the opposite effect, Ezra seemed to grit his teeth slightly and she could swear she saw his fists clench slightly.
"He used me. He used me to get what he wanted and he nearly got it. He found Master Kenobi and tried to kill him and he only found him because of me. I should have listened to Hera. I shouldn't have gotten involved. Maul should have just wandered that desert and died alone!". Ezra seemed to keep his rising anger at Maul.
"Ezra, it's okay. He's gone, I'm sorry for upsetting you", Sabine reached out a hand to Ezra's arm to comfort. She didn't know if the words or the contact soothed him, but he seemed to relax and sigh. He scooted his body down and faced her, mirroring the position the Mandalorian girl has taken minutes earlier.
"You don't need to say sorry. He's gone, he's dead. We'll never see him again and I couldn't be happier for it". The young Jedi seemed to let go of his anger in a short moment. "How about you? Your family and Mandalore and everything? You coping okay?". Ezra seemed happy to stop talking about his situation and move on to helping Sabine.
She didn't know what to say. It hadn't been easy for her, to go from a kill-on-sight exile to a revered hero and family member in a matter of months was a lot to cope with. Sure, she loved having them back, but the memories of what they did were still fresh in her mind. She'd mostly forgiven them for everything, but part of her was still hurt, maybe it always would be. As Sabine was organising her thoughts, Ezra kept his blue eyes locked on hers, giving her his full care and attention.
"I can't lie, it's been hard. It still hurts when I remember what happened between us. I can't shake the memory of them trying to shoot us down as soon as I told them who I was when we came back a few months ago". Sabine sighed and Ezra reached his hand out to rest on top of her shoulder.
"You've come a long way in a short time. You know you can be proud of what you've done, no matter what happened in the past". Ezra's response came across gently and quietly, but she felt the sincerity.
"It was great to see father again. We always understood each other more than anyone else could growing up". Sabine's memories of her childhood came flooding back to her, warming her heart and pulling the corners of her mouth upwards. Then the context of their reunion came crashing down. "And I got him imprisoned. Because of me, he was taken from home, kept in jail and treated horribly". She could feel her emotions bubbling to the surface; anger, sadness, regret, guilt and heartbreak all at once.
Ezra wasted no time in intervening, "You can't blame yourself for what the Empire has done. You saved him, you got him home and made sure the Empire wouldn't think of doing that to your family again".
Fighting back any desire to cry or lose control of her feelings, Sabine took a deep breath in and out to calm herself."You're right. All that matters is that the family is together again. Well, one family. I know I'm happy to be back here and everything, but I can't wait to go home to the Ghost. It's been too long since we've been a family together". Sabine's voice showed genuine happiness as she said it, she couldn't wait to see everyone again.
Seeing Sabine smile as she thought of returning brought Ezra's spirits up too. He dropped his hand from Sabine's shoulder, thinking that the comfort wasn't really needed. He pushed himself up slightly, supporting his head on his right arm and leaving his left in the space between them. He looked down at her from his new position, and the two's eyes met again. Sabine didn't hesitate this time. She pulled her body over to his, wrapping her right arm around his body and squeezing herself gently against him. He seemed almost surprsied at the move, but soon found himself leaning back and moving his right arm to curl under Sabine's head and pull her closer. Her head ended up resting on his chest, her arm across his chest, and his arm wrapping around to let him place a soothing hand on her shoulder from behind.
"Thank you. For everything. I mean it Ezra", Sabine said as she pressed her head into his chest. "I couldn't have done this without you. Without Kanan yes too, but not without you either".
Ezra tightened the hug for a moment and gently rubbed her shoulder with his thumb. "You don't owe us anything. We're friends, we stick together no matter what. You'd do the same for me. You've risked yourself way too many times for me. I.. I don't tell you how much it means to have someone like you have their back".
Sabine lifted her head to look into his eyes which, too her surprise, were already looking directly down at her in waiting. "I'm always going to have your back, no matter what". Her heart fluttered with a million emotions as a wave of emotion hit her. Ezra had come to mean so much to her, maybe more than anyone else she'd ever known, and when she promised to have his back she knew she truly meant it.
Ezra used his left hand to cup her cheek, resting his hand ever so gently on her face. "I mean it to. I'm never going to let you down. We're a team. I'll never let anything happen to you, and I'll never let you face it alone".
Sabine broke away from their gaze to place her head back on his chest. Both teens focused on the embrace, appreciating the closeness and care they both felt from the hug. She hadn't really expected it to end up like this when she invited him to her quarters, but now she wouldn't have it any other way. Every second of the hug was telling her something she knew had been true for a while: You love him. You love him and you know he loves you too. Her feelings to him had been beyond friendship for some time, but it was the first time she had openly admitted to herself how she felt about him. She could see it was getting late by looking out of the window, but she couldn't bear to let him go after this.
"Stay with me", she told him. "It's late, it's cold and I just... I just want...", she wasn't sure how to say it. She didn't want to blurt it out to him how much she cared, she wanted to do that some other time, when she could have a while to think over what to say and how to say it. But she didn't mind showing him in other ways and that's all she wanted for now. She was still puzzling out what she wanted for herself as she thought of how to ask him to stay.
Ezra didn't give her enough time to finish thinking of what to say. With a bit of hesitation, he replied, "Uh, I can go back to the ship, it's no problem. I can let you sleep in peace."
Say something. Say something. "I want to have you here with me, I don't want to have to spend another night like this alone".
The answer seemed to make Ezra smile to her and he slightly sat up and lessened the hug. "Well, where in here will I sleep and what am I meant to wear?".
You know the first answer already, you're just too nervous to assume, Ezra Bridger. Sabine gave a smirk to the young Jedi, "We can't keep each other warm if you're sleeping on the floor. Don't tell me you're too cowardly to stay in the same bed a girl? And, I don't know, what to you usually wear?"
Ezra looked at her as if he was about to question her, but she knew he wouldn't pass on the opportunity. "Okay, I.. I can do that. Uh, usually... umm... boxers?".
Hmm, she wasn't sure if she was fully against him sticking to that choice tonight... No. No Sabine. One night, maybe soon you can be like that. Not tonight.
"I gotta spoil your fun this time, Ezra. Ditch your jacket and belt but you're keeping your pants on", she laughed.
Ezra smiled to her and stood up, placing his utility belt on the floor and removing his jacket. It was a bit too dark to see much, but Sabine could easily see the traces of firm toned muscle across his chest and stomach. Okay, now you're showing off...
Sabine was happy to sleep as she was, and moved herself from her current position to take the blanket out from under her and wrap herself under the sheet. Ezra hesitated briefly before climbing in beside her. He lay on his back and extended his right arm toward Sabine, instinctively aware of how she meant to spend the night. Sabine scooted over and resumed their previous position, resting her hand and head on his now bare chest. The arrangement felt perfect and comfortable, as if they were both meant to be in that position together. Sabine closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep. As she drifted off, she mumbled out a few final words for the night:
"Night, Ezra".
With a smile and a small squeeze of the Mandalorian girl, Ezra's gentle voice answered; "Night Sabine. Sleep tight".
Yeah, I haven't written in ages. I kinda feel I changed the tone a bit too radically over the chapter. From a more mature focus on Mandalorian culture to a bit of subtle emotion to some outright fluff. I enjoyed it though. I might do some more again if people seem to like it. Any feedback is great, love it or hate it I wouldn't mind knowing why.
Thanks for reading, or at least scrolling down to the bottom.
Regards - Lothcat1138