Little reminders kept her going more often than not these days.
Flames in the fireplace that kept her warm in the winter, reminded her of the warmth from the blue flames he'd been pretty well known for.
Shiemi could remember nights were Rin was careful not to burn down their bed when she was cold to warm her up in an attempt to keep his wife warm as their fireplace definitely didn't extend that far.
She smiled sadly as she remembered other reminders of who he was though it wasn't hard to think of memories that left her heart warm that she shared with him.
Shiemi could easily remember spending what days they could working on her garden; Rin after all of this time had gotten rather used to and a bit more skilled with helping his wife grow plants.
She could easily remember the sad times when Rin had hours of work or a mission to do, being a Paladin could make things rather tough at time to be home.
Shiemi remembered being offered that position as she'd often worked with him on missions though she'd turned it down, sure Yukio could do the work just as well as he was pretty skilled when it came to being an exorcist probably more so than she was.
She remembered the aching loss of being told that Rin hadn't made it through a mission; he wouldn't come home that day or ever again.
Shiemi missed him.
She stared at the flames that lit up the fire place that were nowhere close to blue or that exact shade that Rin carried with him whenever he chose to use it.
The wife of the late Paladin watched the flames lick up the wood as she considered all that she'd lost, all that her now grown up children had lost.
She stared at the remnants of Rin that still remained in their house, pictures of the half-human were easily spread through the house especially those with his children and his wife.
Shiemi could see the little reminders of the amazing life he lived through the things they'd picked out long ago to decorate their home and the little memories that seemed to almost constantly be on her mind.
She saw Rin in the garden where they'd worked side by side each day that no mission separated them, and she saw him in the kitchen that he loved so much and often cooked in.
Shiemi had helped there too, and with him by her side, she'd grown tremendously as a cook.
She smiled as she remembered Ukobach and Rin both insisting on cooking, and some of those memories were rather silly.
Shiemi watched Kuro wander the house; he, too, was a reminder of Rin though seeing how lost he was too left what felt like a bigger gap in her chest.
She watched him continue to pace almost aimlessly through their house as she heard Ukobach in the kitchen preparing the dinner though she worried over how sad he was as well as she turned her focus to Nee who had fallen asleep on the couch, burrowed slightly under a blanket quite a bit larger than him.
Shiemi smiled sadly at her familiar as she tried to wish her sadness away with all of those old and loving memories shared between her and Rin.
They had had long enough to long since fall further in love and long enough to carve out a beautiful life together as they reached for their dreams together though still the pain of having lost him after all this time resonated in her heart from where she sat.
Shiemi chose to focus now on all of the things that had somehow became just Rin things to her like warm, blue flames that never would hurt anyone, and the just everything that he was from his kind and happy nature to the way that he truly understood her.
She smiled as he came easily to mind and temporarily let her forget the pain of loss.