The away team materialized in a hall of creamy stone pillars and marble flagstones. Geordi and Data flanked Will to the left and right. Tasha was immediately on the move behind them, scanning the sunny room with a tricorder.
A petite woman with a waterfall of blond curls approached them, followed by a blond man of average height. Their attire seemed a passing nod to the barest requirements for propriety. The diminutive scraps of fabric that constituted their clothing offered no protection from the elements, or even a sudden breeze. The human officers of the away team noted the native dress of the Edo and reacted with subtle upraises of their eyes to the eyes of their hosts.
The woman spoke first. "Welcome. I am Rivan. I speak for the Edo."
"I'm Cdr. William T. Riker of the USS Enterprise."
Rivan responded by throwing her arms around Will's neck and planting her lips on his. Tasha nearly dropped her tricorder. Will's eyes were wide open, and Data and Geordi stared at him as the kiss went on and on. Rivan finally broke away.
"Nice to meet you," she said.
Will took a moment to compose himself. "Is that how you normally greet strangers?" he asked.
"Yes. Is it not customary for your people?" Rivan replied, her sweet smile giving way to confusion.
"That gesture is normally reserved for … a … private exchange between very close friends," Will explained.
Rivan looked mortified. "I have offended you. Please accept my apologies."
"Not at all," Will assured her, "but perhaps we could share a more neutral gesture."
Rivan nodded like an obedient pupil. She approached Riker again, this time sliding her hands up his arms, around his back, and hugging him close, rising on her toes to rub her face against his neck. She ended the embrace after several long moments.
"Is that acceptable?" she asked, her voice breathy with her eagerness to please.
Will grinned at her. "Yes. Absolutely. It's quite nice." He indicated the away team with a wave. "Lt. Cdr. Data, Lt. Geordi La Forge."
"My counterpart, Liator," Rivan said.
Liator came forward and wrapped his arms around Geordi, crushing the shorter man to his nearly naked chest.
"Hey! Whoa!" Years of Starfleet protocol training failed Geordi as Liator rubbed his stubbly chin against the back of Geordi's neck. "Hold on!"
Liator broke away and looked at Rivan in confusion.
"We have offended you again?" she asked Will.
He maintained a straight face through a Herculean effort. "I should have mentioned that humans are particular about gender when it comes to close physical contact. The members of this team would all feel more comfortable with that gesture if it were offered by a person of the opposite sex."
"Our apologies again," said Rivan with an incline of her head. "Is that true for all humans?"
Tasha completed her scan and stood beside Geordi. "All clear, sir," she reported to Riker.
Will nodded. "Not at all," he replied to Rivan. "Humans show a variety of preferences when it comes to physical contact. It is true of the four of us, though."
"I see." Rivan turned to Data and put both hands flat on his chest. He looked down at them with consternation. She slid her hands up and over his shoulders and brought her face close to his, but at the last instant, tucked her forehead into his neck. Data lifted his arms away from his sides and put up his hands. His head swiveled to face Riker, Data's expression of shock intensifying. He did not lower his hands until Rivan stepped away.
"Sexual attraction in this context is not a part of my programming," he admonished. "I am an android."
Rivan looked at him with dismay. "I do not understand."
Geordi leaned over to Tasha and whispered, "How come I get the dude, and the android gets the babe?"
She didn't reply. She was biting down on her lip to keep from laughing.
"Cdr. Data is not a biological life form," Will explained.
Rivan and Liator exchanged a look. "Your ways are very different," she said.
Liator approached Tasha. "You did not introduce this lovely one."
"Lt. Natasha Yar, Chief of Security," Will replied.
Liator made as if to kiss her, but caught himself when she lowered her chin. He hugged her close instead. Tasha pressed her cheek against his bare shoulder – it was warm, slightly fuzzy, and yielding. She put her arms around his naked back and returned his embrace, closing her eyes. When she opened them, Data was standing directly behind Liator, regarding her with more than passive curiosity. Liator let Tasha go and grinned at her. They were of a height, and Tasha lost herself in his crinkly blue eyes for a brief, indulgent moment. Data cleared his throat, articulating the sound rather too precisely. "Ahem."
"Now that we've completed our introductions, let's have some talk, shall we?" suggested Will.
"Please, let us be comfortable. Have you need for food or drink?" Rivan asked politely.
"No, thank you. Just a place where we may sit together and learn more about each other."
Rivan and Liator laughed. "We Edo do not often talk when we wish to learn more about each other," Liator said.
"Well, it's a place to start," Will replied gamely.
"Come. I will show you our communication center," Rivan offered, extending her hand to Will, "where we talk with people from far away."
"What do you want to talk about?" Liator asked Tasha. He was still standing quite close.
"I'd like to hear about your customs and laws," Tasha answered.
"I could show you some of our customs," Liator offered.
"That won't be necessary," Will said, before Tasha could speak. "Mr. Data, you're with me. Lt. La Forge –"
"If I may, sir," Data interrupted, "I believe I would be of use in recording a precise record of the Edo's laws."
Will took in Data's too-earnest expression. He smiled. "Of course, Mr. Data. Go with Lt. Yar and La Forge." Will took Rivan's hand. "Shall we?" They left the marble hall together.
"Come with me," Liator said. "We can sit in the gardens." He led the way to the open-air exit.
Outside, the sun was shining on a glorious summer day. There were smooth stone benches on the side of packed-dirt pathways, where the Edo ran along and shouted greetings to each other. Data, Tasha, and Geordi were momentarily arrested by the sight of an Edo male and female wrapped up in a passionate embrace on a stone bench a few steps away. It took a moment for Liator to notice that he had lost his followers. He returned to the three officers, who were simultaneously tilting their heads to one side.
"Is that . . . third base?" Geordi asked.
"I guess their clothes don't really get in the way," Tasha replied, her mouth slightly open.
"Do our customs surprise you?" Liator asked.
"It's not the 'what' that's surprising, it's the 'where' that –" Tasha broke off as all three officers did a double take.
"Sliding into home," said Geordi.
"Love is everywhere. We are proud of our love for each other," Liator said. "Come, I will show you the gardens."
Tasha and Geordi followed, tearing their eyes away with difficulty. Data stood rooted to the spot.
Tasha came back for him. "Data …"
"I have never had the opportunity to observe a male humanoid in the act of love," Data explained. "This could be quite edifying."
"You don't … you can't just stand here and watch them," Tasha said, her eyes on the copulating couple.
They both watched in silence for a few seconds.
"My presence does not seem to be a distraction," Data observed.
"C'mon." Tasha gave his arm a tug. They both did another double take. "Wow. She's flexible." Tasha shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. "C'mon, Data. Let's go." He still made no move to depart. "Data!"
He gave Tasha a practiced look of annoyance and followed her. "You are depriving me of a singular opportunity to study an aspect of human interaction that is never available for observation."
They hurried to catch up to Geordi and Liator. "Something tells me that there's nothing singular about it," Tasha replied. They were passing duos, trios, and small groups of amorous Edo. "Don't any of these people have jobs?"
"Humans on earth have reached a stage of development wherein the necessity of working to provide for basic needs has been eliminated. Perhaps the Edo have reached that stage in their development," Data conjectured.
They had almost caught up to the other two. Tasha stopped suddenly. "What about porn?"
"Pardon me?"
"For observing heterosexual male behavior. What about watching pornography?"
"Too inauthentic," Data replied. "I attempted once to emulate the behavior of an actor in an erotic holovideo during an intimate encounter with a human female. The results were … disastrous."
Tasha decided to let the subject drop. They jogged to meet up with Liator and Geordi.
The gardens had paved walks and lush expanses of lawn and brightly colored flowers. A brook ran through, with shade trees on either side of the banks, bringing coolness to the warm weather.
Data, Tasha and Liator sat together on a stone bench. Geordi sat in the grass at Data's feet.
"And we can provide a list of the general categories of our laws. They fall under cleanliness, godliness, charitability, sustainability, and healthfulness. The health of the body and the world are paramount to us. Our ancestors have taught us for generations that loving the body and the world is essential to happiness," Liator expounded.
"That makes sense," said Tasha. She was distracted by a group of Edo playing a game, sitting in a circle around a spinner. It involved a good deal of laughing and kissing.
Geordi followed her line of sight. "It looks like Spin the Bottle. I used to cheat at that game like crazy. Being blind was a great excuse to kiss the girl I wanted to kiss."
"Intriguing," Data said. "Would you excuse us for a moment?" Liator inclined his head. Data stood and helped Geordi to his feet. "Tell me more about this game."
Liator went on. "Our system is simple – no one breaks any law, and no one risks execution. Ours is a world of perfect tranquility and peace."
"I'm sorry, what?" Tasha asked. She had again been distracted, this time by a couple barely hidden from her sight behind a nearby bush. She was amazed at what the Edo could do without removing any of their clothes. The man in the couple reversed himself to lie face-to-face with the woman. Tasha tried unsuccessfully to stop staring.
"Aren't you hot in that?" Liator asked.
"What?" Tasha snapped back to reality.
"Your face is flushed. Aren't you hot in those clothes? It is a very warm day," Liator continued.
"Uh … our uniforms are made of a material that adapts to climate changes," Tasha replied. "They're designed to be comfortable."
"It doesn't look very comfortable. I could provide you with one of our singlets. I'm sure you would feel much better." Liator grinned at her.
"Uh…."
"We could go somewhere alone, if that would make you more comfortable. I've noticed that you are unaccustomed to the sight of play in the open air."
"Oh, well … no. No, I'm not accustomed to it," Tasha admitted.
"But, humans do play at love." Liator leaned close to her.
"Umm … y'know … about that. I'm … sort of …" She involuntarily looked in Data's direction, where he and Geordi were speaking to some of the game players seated a short distance away. "I guess I'm spoken for."
"Oh, I see. We also have partners on our world who do not share. Whatever makes you comfortable. Shall we have more talk?"
Tasha breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes. More talk is just fine."
A/N: Words lifted directly from The Outrageous Okona written by Burton Armus. And haven't you ever wondered how the Edo could fail to mention/the security chief could fail to ask what kind of punishment follows infractions of the law? Maybe she had other things on her mind!