A/N: I had this idea for two days now… and it's stupid, like the 99.09 % of my ideas.

By the way, the stupid questions are not mine, they are taken from that place called *drum rolls*… the internet.

No Stupid Questions Allowed!

"-and now if you have any questions…" The professor looks at his students with a glint in his eyes, almost daring them to follow through, a very slight quirk on his lips that seems like a malicious smirk. "Please feel free to ask."

There is an almost silent, collective groan that can be heard around the classroom because the students know what they risk if they ask the wrong question and no one wants to be as publically humiliated as the 'notes guy'. No one knows his name because no one can remember it anymore, the only thing they know about him is that he was a good student who… asked the wrong question.

After a few seconds of the interminable and expected silence the professor's smirk becomes even more marked and he regards his students with barely concealed smugness. "Well, if you don't have questions then-"

A hand raises up in the air, with a level of confidence that challenges every incredule gaze in the room, most of all the professor's even more surprised one.

But the man chuckles with humor under his breath and nods at the one with the hand raised. "Very well, let's hear what is your question, young man?"

The hand belongs to a certain lazy and dead fish eyed guy with untamable silver curls who stares dead on into the eyes of the professor, there is almost a spark of electricity that fills the tension in the air, as if he is saying 'challenge accepted'. Students are waiting with bated breath, straining their ears to listen just what will the fatal question be.

The one with silver curls opens his mouth to speak and:

"Why does 1 + 1 make 2 and not 11?"

The students' mouth are hanging wide open, never in their life would they have expected such a… stupid question to be asked… ever. Never mind in their course.

The teacher's smirk, which was fueled with superiority and a smidge of curiosity too, just fades into a flat line of bewilderment, for a couple of seconds he is almost unable to comprehend what has been just asked.

"…That is the stupidest question I have ever heard in my life."

The guy sitting next to the first one, this one with a perm too, also raises his hand and follows his friend's lead. "Ahahah! You haven't heard mine yet, professor!" He clears his throat in a show of seriousness and prepares mentally, finally delivering his own question. "If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables… what is baby oil made from?"

The small piece of chalk, grasped tightly in the professor's fingers falls down on the floor with an empty sort of noise.

All the students turn toward the new addition, more precisely the four new additions to the class. Some gape at them, some mock them, and some are already snickering.

"Why is an alarm clock going 'off' when it actually turns on?" The one next to the other two, this one not sporting a perm but instead dark and straight locks, asks next, making a few snort louder and the professor's mouth hang slightly more open.

"Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?" The final one asks, this one with short hair and a bandage covering his eye, as bored as boredom in person can be.

"What…" The professor takes a hold of himself and shakes his head almost furiously at the four who have dared to make such horribly stupid inquiries. "T-This is a class! Not a joke!"

"Yeah, we know. Why do you think we're asking questions? We're not joking around here." The lazy permhead, also known as Gintoki, drawls, scratching his chin as if in deep thinking mode. Suddenly, he illuminates as a figurative lamp turns on in his head and asks another question. "Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?"

And they continue in this order, after Gintoki his friends Tatsuma, Zura and Takasugi follow with other questionable questions.

"Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?"

"If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?"

"If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?"

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

"Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?"

"Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?"

"If the #2 pencil is the most popular why is it still #2?"

"Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?"

"That's a good one." The rest of the Joui nod and Gintoki nods too, satisfied with it.

"Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grown-ups?"

"Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Does that really help?"

"Can't the postman give the mail to the garbage man and save us the hassle?"

"Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?"

"Are skeletons real or made up?"

"Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?"

"Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?"

"Why do you have to 'put your two cents in' but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?"

"If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?"

"Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?"

"What do you call male ballerinas?"

"Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower if he doesn't usually wear any pants?"

"You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can't you be simply whelmed?"

"I have asked myself the same thing many times." Katsura muses, following with: "Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds?"

"Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?"

"Why isn't 11 pronounced 'onety-one?'"

"I know, right!" Tatsuma exclaims in agreement. "And if I ate 52 pizza rolls would I die in my sleep?"

"Why do we say 'eats like a bird' when every day a bird eats its own weight in food?"

"Why does it hurt like hell to hit your funny bone?"

"Stop!" The professor slams a hand on his mahogany desk, having enough of the strange group and their useless questions that only lower the already low IQ of the class- in his opinion. "What is this… this mockery!"

Katsura raised his hand this time, his usually calm expression crosses his features as he regards the man. "Excuse me professor, I have a serious question."

The professor already has a vein pulsing dangerously on his forehead. He takes a deep breath in, thinking that this, up until now, has been the worst day of this job. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, waving his other hand dismissively. "…It better be."

Katsura clears his throat rather loudly, drawing attention on himself, before asking his serious question. "If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

The professor facepalms.

"How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?"

"…I ask myself the same thing continuously." Gintoki whispers under his breath.

"I know." Shinsuke nods and tries to say sympathetically, but it sounds more condescending.

"Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?"

"If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?"

"Shouldn't the opposite of shut up be shut down?"

"If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?"

"Why are Softballs hard?"

"How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?"

"That's a good one." Gintoki holds up a fist.

"Thank you." Tatsuma fist bumps it with his own.

"Why is it that night falls but day breaks?"

"Why do we still call it 'shipping' when it goes by plane and truck?"

"Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?"

"Why do they call it weed when it's so hard to grow?"

"Why do we scrub down and wash up?"

"Do midgets have night vision?"

"Why won't my bankruptcy attorney accept payments?"

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?"

"How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?"

"That's what I call a good question." Gintoki thinks out loud.

A chorus of "mmh-mmh" is heard from his friends and a few people around them.

And then he continues unperturbed. "Is it wrong to enjoy the smell of your own gas?"

All eyes turn on Gintoki.

"What? It happens, you know…"

They stare at him wearily, but keep going anyway.

"Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?"

"Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

"If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards, would he end up owing you money?"

"Why does a round pizza come in a square box?"

"Can you cry under water?"

"Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?"

"Do you ever just get the urge to double-click something?"

"How do 'do not walk on the grass' signs get there?"

"When you perform a head count, do Siamese twins count as one or two?"

"How come you never hear father-in-law jokes but only dad jokes?"

"If a job is canceled, do hit men get a kill fee? I'm asking for personal reasons."

"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"

"If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?"

"Why does mineral water that has 'trickled through mountains for centuries' go out of date next year?"

"Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?"

"Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?"

"Ooooooh." Tatsuma gapes at that question.

"I know, right?"

"Why aren't blue berries blue?"

"Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?"

"Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?"

"Instead of candy, wouldn't it be easier to take, say, cabbage from a baby?"

"Where's the egg in an egg roll?"

"If you get half scared to death twice what happens?"

"Is the Hunger Games based on a true story?"

"Can I safely look at a picture of the sun?"

"Do you lose your virginity if you fall?"

"Why do aliens abduct humans if we are an inferior race?"

"Why do 24 hours, 7 days a week super markets have a lock on their door?"

"Why doesn't the earth fall down-"

"SHUT UUUUUUUUP!" The professor finally shrieks, incapable of withstanding such an offense anymore.

All the students are staring wide-eyed at their teacher who, maybe for the first time, loses his cool in front of the classroom.

All the students except for the four new faces, who are as impassible as someone could be.

"YOU COME HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS MANAGEMENT LESSON JUST TO ASK THESE- THESE RIDICULOUS-"

"Wait!" Gintoki interrupts him, he is the one who slams his palms on the desk this time and his eyes are as wide as saucers, staring as if he has somehow seen a ghost. "Wait…" He repeats, his voice becoming a little quieter and his face slightly paler. "…you mean this isn't driving school?"

The professor reaches his limit of endurance for stupidity and explodes in rage.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"Ahahaahah! I can't believe we were in the wrong class!" Tatsuma laughs whole-heartedly, without a care in the world. "Again!"

"I can't believe we were kicked out." Katsura says in a more somber tone. "…Again."

"I can't believe we haven't a driving licence after…" Gintoki furrows his brows in deep concentration. "Wait, how many episodes has it been already?"

"Don't ask me. I lost count after the first season." Takasugi answers absent-mindedly, seemingly more interested in his nails than in his Gintama career.

Gintoki stares at his acquaintances (friends, best friends really, but there is no chance in hell he will ever admit that in front of these dipshits ahahah!) and shakes his head at all of them in turn, like a disappointed moth- er, father.

"I can't believe between the four of us no one knows how to fucking drive yet." He scolds them with crossed arms and narrowed eyes, hoping to intimidate their fragile spirits.

Which, of course, never happens because of strong wills and stupid brains. The second is the more common, truth be told.

"Speak for yourselves, shitty permhead." Takasugi's reply, as expected, comes first. "I already know how to drive, I just don't have a stupid piece of paper to prove it."

"Shut up! My perm is beautiful okay-" Gintoki stops himself at the new information sinking into his head and turns bewildered eyes at his ex-comrade. "…Huh? Wait, when did you learn how to drive?"

Takasugi shrugs. "In all the breaks that this show took."

"Why didn't I also do that!?"

"You were too busy stuffing yourself with diabetes."

"How dare you insult sugar that way?! You monster!"

Takasugi rolls his eyes at his nemesis' (dear friend's) antics and goes where one expensive car is awaiting to be driven by him.

"Oi Zura, you want a lift?" He asks over his shoulder, already getting in.

"My name is not Zura! It's Katsura!" Katsura corrects, as always, with a passionate scowl. Then assumes his usual, tranquil state. "And yes, thank you."

"Wait!" Gintoki has lost count of how many times he has said the word as he points an accusing finger at the two. "Why him!"

"Because I hate him less than I hate you two." Takasugi is glaring at them in a way that says 'die fuckers' and 'see you later guys, nice hanging out with you again'.

At least this is the way the two perms see it.

"See you never." He adds before speeding away, Katsura is waving a hand at them from out of the window like they are literally never going to see each other again, like Takasugi said.

And Gintoki thinks he is the dramatic one of the group, right.

The men with curls stare at the vehicle, maybe going just a little too fast for the speed limit.

One of the permheads crosses his arms and tilts his head to the side. "And what now?"

"I have a question!" The other perm suddenly pipes up.

"Shoot."

"What animal is sonic the hedgehog?"

Gintoki grips his hair in disbelief. "Holy shit Tatsuma! That's the most clever thing I have ever heard you say in my entire existence!"

"Ahahahahaah!" Tatsuma rubs his neck almost sheepishly at the compliment. Then he starts thinking that might not exactly be a compliment. "...Uh…thanks?"

While they are waiting, and Tatsuma's laugh is for one reason or another echoing in the streets, an uber just parks in front of them and they exchange a glance, deciding to get in.

"Excuse me, I have a question." Tatsuma asks the driver before he has even settled in.

"What is it?" The man behind the wheel asks, not aware of what he is getting himself into as he starts the engine.

Tatsuma and Gintoki lean in, this time both asking: "If evolution is true then why do pigs not have wings? Is it because they don't drink red bull?"

And because of their unending questions, they have, not surprisingly, an accident. The two of them learn later in the day that Takasugi and Katsura were stopped by the cops and for lack of the driving licence from both they were to be taken at the police station for questioning. Of course Katsura had to be the one to ask first-"Can we buy drugs from you?" and while the cops were distracted Takasugi 'fixed' things.

And that 'fix' means elbowing the cops in their noses and calling over his shoulder "not today bitches!" as he and Zura run away, one maniacally cackling, the other putting on a costume of a space pirate and holding a stuffed toy that looks just like Elizabeth.