Disclaimer: All rights to Harry Potter and associated characters go to J.K. Rowling.
The Second Wizarding War is Over! The-Boy-Who-Lived Victorious over You-Know-Who!
Harry Potter defeated Voldemort in a brief duel at Hogwarts. After disappearing for most of a year, he emerged from hiding at the end of a pitched battle and handily destroyed You-Know-Who with no injuries to himself. Witnesses say He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was killed with simple expelliaramus which caused You-Know-Who's wand to backfire, sending his own avada kedarva back at him. With the death of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, his remaining supporters fled or surrendered.
Nearly a hundred witches and wizards were killed in the battle prior to Mr. Potter's arrival. Thirty-seven were students. An additional two hundred were injured, many are facing lifelong disabilities due to their injuries in battle.
Acting Minister of Magic, Amos Diggory, released the following statement. "While it indeed was Mr. Potter who struck the final blow, it the result of a years long concentrated effort on the part of our Ministry to bring down the forces of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The vast majority of the credit must be ceded to those ministry workers whose tireless efforts made Potter's lucky shot possible."
"Potter showed up when the battle was practically over and just killed the Dark Lord with a single spell." "He didn't even get his robes dirty." "We were fighting giants and vampires in the muck and mud, and Potter wasn't interested in helping with the real fighting... The only spell he sent off was the one that killed You-Know-Who."
Eye witnesses say Potter ignored the battle around him with the sole aim of targeting the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. "My older sister died in front of him, and he did nothing. He didn't even attempt to help her," says Barnabus Belby, a fourth year. "He didn't care about any of us, only about getting credit for murdering the Dark Lord."
Others make excuses for Mr. Potter's unfeeling behavior. "Harry knew the battle would not end until V... (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) was dead, the quickest way to end the dying was to kill V..."
Gregory Goyle reports that during the battle, Potter left fellow student Vincent Crabbe to die from out of control emfiendfyre/em when he could easily have rescued him. "Potter looked at my best friend, who was screaming for help, and turned his back on him, leaving him to die in the fire. He didn't care about any of us. If you ask me, he good as murdered Vincent in cold blood."
Death Eaters and Supporters Headed to Azkaban! Black Sisters Apprehended!
Andromeda Black and Narcissa Malfoy nee Black were arrested and sent to Azkaban today. They are both sentenced to life in Azkaban for being Death Eaters. The women are from the notorious Black family, sisters to Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black, one of You-Know-Who's most rabid supporters and cousins to Sirius Black, betrayer of the Potters and You-Know-Who's right hand man.
Acting Minister of Magic Amos Diggory: "It is with great pleasure that I announce the arrest and permanent incarceration of two of the most dangerous witches in history. The Black family has broken faith with our country and supported the evil that was You-Know-Who. We have seized the Black estate and will use the funds to improve our country. The world is a far safer place with these two evil witches locked away forever."
Severus Snape Lives! Full Pardon for Death Eater Activity and Order of Merlin in the Works!
Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts, released a statement saying the former headmaster was expected to make a full recovery. In releasing the pardon, acting head of the DMLE Kingsley Shacklebolt released a statement that said, "Master Snape worked beside me throughout my time with the Order. He sacrificed greatly to ensure that the Light won the war." The hitwizard department also released a brief statement. "Master Snape has been actively employed by the hitwizard department since 1978. He has performed his duties flawlessly and should be commended for his valor under fire." Despite the rumors that Mr. Snape was a true follower of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he was vouched for by multiple members of the Order of the Phoenix, including our Savior, Harry Potter.
Acting Minister of Magic Amos Diggory objected strongly, saying "Anyone with the Dark Mark should spend the remainder of their life in Azkaban. There is no amount of 'good work' that can erase the stain of supporting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Mr. Snape belongs in Azkaban, not threatening the lives and safety of the good people of England." His undersecretary, Madame Umbridge says, "We know Mr. Snape is an evil man, and only a mad man would ever provide support for him. I believe that we must see that Mr. Potter is placed in St. Mungos for evaluation until he is able to form healthier judgments."
A mind healer at St. Mungos evaluated Mr. Potter, at his own request, and has reported that Mr. Potter, while clearly grieving for his lost friends, is of sound and uninfluenced mind.
Harry Potter Causes Riot in Diagon Alley!
Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, incited a riot in Diagon Alley. Four people were taken to St. Mungos. One is still there in serious condition after being trampled by a mob outside of Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. This reporter must ask why Mr. Potter felt the need to stir the crowd up into a frenzy and questioned the Ministry as to why charges were not filed.
"Mr. Potter was inside Madame Malkin's having new robe fitted. He had arrived through the private floo, before the store's official opening hours, and had not appeared in Diagon Alley. We still do not know who informed the public of his presence or who started the altercation."
I questioned Miss Pansy Parkinson, who said. "Mr. Potter was announced as being available for autographs and pictures in Diagon Alley. I went as a reporter for Witch's Weekly and arrived to chaos. Mr. Potter had retreated inside the store and left a crowd of unhappy fans and a few naysayers. They broke the window of the store and several people were hit by flying glass. Then people started fighting to get inside to Mr. Potter. I always knew Potter was a coward. He ran from You-Know-Who and the Ministry for a year and now he runs from the very people he supposedly helped. The real people who suffered and died under You-Know-Who, like those of us who were trapped at Hogwarts want to know where he was while we were imprisoned at the school. I heard he was living in luxury behind the wards of Potter Manor."
Was Potter living in luxury while hiding from You-Know-Who? What did he do to earn the ire of our Ministry, which worked tirelessly to bring You-Know-Who's reign of terror to an end? Why did he feel the need to incite a riot in Diagon Alley? Is it yet another desperate cry for attention?
Harry Potter Gets Notorious Black Sisters Released From Azkaban!
br /Andromeda Black and Narcissa Malfoy nee Black were released from Azkaban today after ten days incarceration. Harry Potter was instrumental in obtaining their release. He claims that neither sister took the Dark Mark, and that both women were members of the Order of the Phoenix. Both women have testified privately to the DMLE under veritaserum and satisfied acting director Kingsley Shacklebolt as to their innocence.
Kingley Shacklebolt, "Both these women are victims of You-Know-Who, not supporters. Andromeda Black is a long time healer in the service of the Order and has been an active member since the first war. Albus Dumbledore left notes that indicate that Mrs. Malfoy was a long time informant for the Order, providing material information that saved many lives in both the first war and the second. Harry Potter himself owes his life to the actions of Mrs. Malfoy."
Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge strenuously objected to the release of the Black sisters, saying, "We know the Black sisters are dangerous dark witches whose families served You-Know-Who without question. They are a clear and present danger to law abiding citizens everywhere. They should be locked away for the continued safety of our great nation. I, personally, will not breathe easily until these evil witches are returned to Azkaban where they belong.
Did Harry Potter Let People Die to Increase His Fame?
Former Acting Minister of Magic Amos Diggory has this to say. "The question we must ask ourselves is why did it take so long for Harry Potter to vanquish You-Know-Who? According to eyewitness reports, Harry Potter was able to defeat You-Know-Who in a brief duel. If he was able to do it so easily, why did he not save my son at the Tri-Wizard tournament? Did he choose to let Cedric die so that he could have the acclaim of being Tri-Wizard champion to himself?"
Former Undersecretary and High Inquisitor Dolores Umbridge points out, "Hundreds of dead and injured wizards and witches would be alive and whole today had Harry Potter done his duty from the start. It is clear that he could have defeated You-Know-Who at any time. Was the dragging out of the war deliberate, an effort to increase his fame? We have long known that the boy is an attention-seeker, was the war simply a ruse to bring more attention to himself? Why else would he fight to have dangerous dark wizards like Severus Snape and witches like the criminal Black sisters released from Azkaban. Is Mr. Potter planning to take up the mantel of Dark Lord and subject our country to his tyranny?"
Newly instated Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt disputes these statements. "Victory in the war against Voldemort was a combined effort of many people over many years. While Lord Potter may have struck the killing blow, he was a child throughout this time and had neither the knowledge nor the skill to meet Voldemort before he did. We must honor our dead, and place the blame for the losses where they belong, on Voldemort, his Death Eaters, and his unmarked supporters."
This reporter reached out to Mr. Potter and the Black sisters for comment and received no response.
Mr. Potter Fined!
Mr. Potter agreed to pay a five hundred galleon for his role in instigating the riot in Diagon Alley last week. Ernest Hucklebank, the newly installed director of the MLE says that Mr. Potter was facing two months in Azkaban for his actions, and has agreed to plead guilty to starting the riot in return for the commuting of his sentence.
Mr. Potter's lawyer, Herodutus Howe, released this statement. "Mr. Potter regrets the injuries of his fellow wizards and witches in Diagon Alley, and hopes they are able to make a speedy recovery. He will be more circumspect in his future visits to public venues in hopes of avoiding similar incidents in the future."