New Shizaya story, this is AU, so there will be: OOCness, YAOI :D~! violence, blood, self injury, abuse, maybe some drug use and alcohol and if anyone wants a lemon in later chaps let me know cuz I might do one.

This is a kind of a songfic, it was completely inspired by the song Monster by Meg and Dia, I'm sure a lot of you have heard it, but if you haven't you should really look it up, the remix is amazing to.

This is the prologue, if anyone wants me to continue please review.

Oh, and I don't own Durarara or the characters.

No flames please.

BTW: here's a better summary: Izaya is a victim of abuse, rape and bullying, Shizuo watches his behavior change year by year, when Shizuo finds Izaya being bullied on the rooftop, he saves him and they become friends, their relationship will progress and Shizuo will found out all about Izaya's life. Ugh,..its so complicated, just keep reading and you'll find out what I mean.

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~Prologue

It wasn't his fault, no he didn't ask for any of this, his arms didn't wish to be cut, his head didn't wish to be bruised, his ankles didn't wish to have nasty burns on them, his heart didn't wish to be broken, and his wrists hadn't meant to be slashed.

But, it happened, fate was a cruel bastard.

Izaya lay peacefully and almost frighteningly still, his breathing slow, each breath taken in and out to match the beeping heart rate on the monitor attached to him. Bandages wrapped on each of his wrists, the cut on his forehead bandaged up as well.

He didn't deserve this.

I swallowed my regret and walked inside the room, my heart rate quickening with each step.

Rose in hand, I strolled over to the still bed and rested the rose on the table beside his bed, taking a seat in the chair next to him I looked him over.

Sadness rose in my heart, he looked so broken, so fragile.

My heart leaped when Izaya's empty eyes slowly blinked open.

His head turned slowly, he looked up at me, his stare blank and confused, his lips parted as if he were about to say something.

I leaned forward, eager to catch whatever it was he was about to say. He took in a breath and then scrunched his face up in pain, his teeth gritting together as tiny waterfalls fell down his pale cheeks.

"S-shizu-chan..." he whispered.

I leaned forward even farther and pressed my lips to his cheek, trying to kiss away those awful tears.

Izaya's body wracked with painful sobs as I wrapped my arms around his frail body, he leaned into me, his scarred arms coming up to wrap around my neck possessively.

After crying for a few minuets, his breathing slowed and I assumed he's fallen asleep, but when I tried to lay him down he grabbed me firmly, keeping me in his grasp, his arms almost choking him in the desperate hug.

Izaya had a terrible fear of abandonment.

He calmed down a little bit and buried his fingers in my hair affectionately, I sat there softly rubbing his back, trying to relax him.

Izaya nuzzled his nose into my neck and then he spoke.

His voice was hushed, almost like a whisper.

"Monster..." he whispered, "How should I feel?"

I pulled away and looked into his eyes, wishing desperately I could put some light back into those beautiful red orbs.

I smiled at his lost face softly and pressed him against me.

"Loved."

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Well, thanks for reading, this was more like a preview than a prologue, well anyway please review and let me know if I should continue, I wont continue if I don't get any feedback.

PLLEEASSE review~!

Love to all~!