A/N: I have absolutely no idea where this came from and need to get my priorities straight lol
Pairings: BlUES, REDS, GREENS
Shout out to Leeful for being a loyal crackhead and giving me ideas constantly
Summary: She's a witch whose caught in between the lives of the living and the undead, Blossom's a try-hard vampire who accidentally summons the devil in her basement and Buttercup's an uncivilised zombie who doesn't understand why her best friend has suddenly dropped off the face of the universe.
Bubbles Utonium has always been one for travel
She slips easily between the mortal realm and the underworld with a skip in her step and a gleam in her eye.
Humans have always been unpredictable but fun while the un-dead were wild and ironically enough, sophisticated in their own way, so she never really favoured one world to the other.
She had a blast in either one, and that was really all that mattered.
In the underworld, she ran a small enchanted café down in the more quiet side of town. There wasn't really ever a need for more staff other than her when all she had to do was wave her wand and have the store cleaned and drinks made in seconds.
She was a witch. She literally hadn't touched a kettle or coffee machine in eons.
Though, when her good friend Butch Jojo stumbled over to her fine establishment one fateful evening and demanded he needed some sort of part time job, who was she to say no?
Although Butch was undoubtedly drunk off his ass when he'd asked (demanded) for the job, she didn't hide the impressed look off of her face when he'd actually shown up the time she'd told him to so she could train him on how to be a barista.
Regrettably, she had thrown all common sense out of the window that night and was finally paying for her sins the following morning as Butch decided to put half a cup of demon's essence into the small hot-chocolate for a fairy who regularly came in before work
The change had been immediate after she'd taken her sip and caused an eruption of chaos in her store—she'd probably never see that poor coloured-haired angel turned devil again.
Heavens knows what had happened when she had actually gone into work and Bubbles wonders if the newfound stain on her ceiling would ever come out.
Sacrifices had to be made she supposed
The shapeshifter had somewhat learned his lesson after that, and Bubbles smiled behind her mug at how diligently Butch began working after that.
The rest of the day went well and she didn't have any issues following that were as major as the whole fairy incident.
The café is silent, other than the sounds of occasional page flipping as Butch sprayed disinfectant on the tables and began to wipe them down.
"You know," Butch starts off, exhausted and exasperated "When I asked for the job, I didn't fucking think the entire underworld had a hard-on for your damn bean-juice"
Lips twitching upwards, Bubbles laughs distractedly to what he says, her attention on the rather large book in front of her "Enchanted coffee"
Butch hums before glancing over and seeing the book made him think it looked straight up out of a cliché movie "Your spell book's looking thicker than the Kardashian's asses," he yawns, dropping the cloth and walking over towards her "How's the practising coming along?"
She yelps, eyes and slams the book shut before a surge of blue energy is directed towards him in the wake of her surprise
The only sound in the street that night is the pair's screams of terror and her coffee mug shattering
"Oh shitake mushrooms" Bubbles says, eyes wide as she takes in the sight of the cat mirroring her expression
Butch is not impressed
His surprise very quickly morphs into a scowl as he directs all of his attention onto her from the floor "Bubbles what the hell!?"
She winces at the unnatural sudden high pitch his voice has taken on "I'm sorry! You caught me by surprise! I didn't think you'd actually come over and see what I was doing"
Butch regards her with a rather unimpressed look at her pitiful excuse for an apology "Your first instinct when in danger is to turn me into a house-pet?"
Bubbles blinks "I wasn't aiming to turn you into anything! You just freaking took me by surprise, that's all!" she huffs, rolling her eyes before getting out of her comfortable position in the couch to walk over to him
"Why aren't you turning back?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at him in question while Butch just scoffs
"Why aren't you turning back" he mimics in a small, girly tone before rolling his eyes "fine"
There's a long, extended awkward pause but he doesn't change
"…Butch-?"
"I'M WORKING ON IT" he interrupts her, voice higher than usual, causing the blonde to shut her mouth immediately as she sways on the balls of her feet while waiting
Another painful extended silence is met before Butch finally lets out an ear-piercing shriek
"I CAN'T CHANGE BACK!" he cries in alarm and Bubbles almost faints at the implications
He continues to scream in terror while running around in a hazardous manner across her café in a state of panic before passing his reflection on the coffee machine and screeching to a sudden holt to openly gape.
"My face!" He gasped, pawing at his reflection in despair "My beautiful, flawless face! How could you have done such a thing to someone as handsome as me?!"
At this point, Bubbles just stares into one of her security cameras as if she's in the office
"Butch, I'm pretty sure this whole thing is just temporary and—what in the hell are you doing?" she suddenly asks as he rushes over to where she had previously been seated and tries to open her book
"What does it look like I'm doing?!" He hisses, downright offended at his lack of thumbs as he's forces to use his entire head to try and open the godforsaken spell book
Suddenly, Bubbles becomes rather pale "Uh—maybe I should look into one of my other spell books instead—"
"Why on earth would you want to do that?" he snaps impatiently, as if she had requested something abnormal "This is the book you used to turn me into a cat of all things, so this is the book that can change me-…back"
They're met with another round of awkward silence as Bubbles begins to whistle nervously as Butch just stares at the contents of the book with a face void of emotion.
"Bubbles?" he asks, voice calm and sending chills up her spine as she already knows what's to come
"…Yes?"
Butch finds his left eye twitching. He's left staring at pages upon pages of not spells but magazines of shirtless or good-looking men from both the underworld AND the human world
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME—"
It's Bubbles' turn to scream in pure terror as the game of cat and mouse begins and she's left running around the cafe like a headless chicken as Butch curses and chases after her in return.
They're at it for a good ten minutes before Butch finally blows off his steam and the two fall backwards onto the carpeted floors in exhaustion while staring up at the stain on the ceiling
She doesn't have the heart to look around the now destroyed store and simply pulls her wand out of one of her boot's before waving it around and having the store clean itself up.
Butch just sighs, exhausted "Man, I could really go for a joint right now" Bubbles snorts, finding that she doesn't disagree.
She manages to open the store as usual the next morning, and she's not really that surprised that Butch's loving his new life as a common-house pet.
He's lounging around on the counter top while watching as she serves customers with a bright smile and warm eyes.
She already knows what the regulars want and doesn't bat an eye as she sits them down and brings their drinks to their tables.
A witch with a black cat in the underworld isn't uncommon at all and everyone's basically just assuming that she's found a new familiar to keep her company.
Bubbles then blinks as a sudden thought comes to her—maybe that's what she did.
Maybe she subconsciously turned Butch into her spirit guardian thing.
Ew
Well this was a conundrum
Glancing back towards Butch, she wonders if its safe to leave a man-turned cat in charge of her fine establishment to figure this whole thing out—
It probably wasn't.
Bubbles waits until her lunch break to close the store early and head out while Butch just gawks at her when there are finally no customers around
"Hey, hey, hey what're you doing?!" he demands, "This is terrible for business!"
She snorts in response "Butch this café of mine is just a hobby, you can't possibly expect me to dedicate my whole life to the business" she then picks him up and starts heading to the back room where customers aren't allowed and heads up the stairs
She doesn't really want to confirm her theories with him just yet. Butch had the tendency to overdramatise everything and she didn't want to possibly give him a near-death experience by telling him she'd probably turned him into her life-long partner in all her witchy-business.
No romance though—she'd rather barf
Butch, being the narcissist he is, has no qualms about being carried around like a princess as Bubbles subconsciously scratches his fur as they make it to her actual home.
She always did have a love for animals
Dropping Butch onto the couch, Bubbles yawns as she begins to grab her purse and load it with various necessities needed for the land of the living.
"Why'd you want to start working here anyway?" Bubbles asks suddenly, opening one of her draws and pulling out her wallet filled with dollars instead of gold.
Butch blinks, distractedly pawing at the remote "I dunno'"
Bubbles gives him a look and he groans "Money, obviously!"
She continues to stare "Butch, you're rich" she says bluntly causing him to pout
"Alright fine! Buttercup said I wouldn't last a week actually working somewhere and obviously I couldn't just sit there and let her insult me in my own home like that"
"Speaking of Buttercup, maybe we should let her know about your…predicament" She offered offhandedly
She was met with Butch staring at her as if she'd just snorted a line of cocaine before his eyes "What?!" he screeched, appalled "No! She can't know about this!"
Bubbles raises an eyebrow at him as he continues to rant
"She'd never let me live this down!" He continues, throwing his paws up into the air "Besides, have you met Buttercup? She even had the gall to be Insulting ME like that in my own home!"
"Uh huh" she responds drily before switching the subject back "So you decided that working at a coffee shop was your best bet?"
Butch just blinks at her, surprise written across his face "What?" he asks, confused "Of course not! I was working at a strip club like the night before here" he suddenly grins and Bubbles feels weird because there's a cat on her living room sofa just grinning at her
That's some fucking weird, trippy Alice in wonderland type shit right there
"I got fired for sleeping with the clients" he says, rolling his eyes and pouting
"How many of the clients?" Bubbles sighs, silently praying for Buttercup
"A good number" he shrugs, but then there's a sudden dazed look in his eyes as he starts drooling "Damn, those demon girls really know how to satisfy a guy with their tongues—"
Bubbles throws a cushion straight into his face and he lets out a startled meow as he falls off of the couch entirely.
Scrambling to sit back onto the sofa, Butch gawks at her "The fuck was that for?!"
Shaking her head, Bubbles grabs her purse "I have no idea what Buttercup sees in you" she mutters, rolling her eyes before grabbing her wand and opening up a portal
Butch falters at her words, surprise etched on his face and ears suddenly drooping "Hey…what do you mean by—"
"I'm going up to the human world!" she announces suddenly, not having heard any of what Butch had just said "Time works differently there so I shouldn't be gone for more than a few hours! Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge and for the love of god, do NOT make a mess in my home!"
Butch gapes "Wait Wha—"
"Toodles darling!" and with that Bubbles blows him a kiss before she steps into the glowing energy of the galaxy before it closes right behind her, leaving Butch to merely gawk at the empty spot where Bubbles had stood.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" he shrieks.
When Bubbles firsts steps back into the human world, she's greeted by the crisp smell of air pollution and prays that her skin makes it out okay.
She's greeted with a semi-empty street and begins to make her way down to the high end part of the city with her mind set.
She waves her wand offhandedly and erases the minds of those who'd seen her step out of the portal before going on with her day in order to figure out a solution to the mess Butch had made.
With a mind in a state of turmoil, she knew where she needed to go
"Yes, one big mac meal please," Bubbles smiles brightly at the teenager behind the till who used the monitor in front of him to tap her order down
"Any sauces?" He asks with a thick French accent
"Barbeque, please"
"Eating in or take away?"
She blinks, realising that she doesn't really know the area she's in and wouldn't really have anywhere to sit if she were to leave this fine establishment "Uh…eating in"
He nods while getting her order sorted "that'll be four-ninety nine madam"
Bubbles hums happily as she unzips her wallet and hands him a fiver before accepting her penny change and receipt. She makes her way to the 'collection' point with a skip in her step
It's not long before her meal is being called out by another employee and she's found herself sitting on one of the tables by her lonesome.
After all, who the hell could work on an empty stomach?
Now seated in one of the more comfier booths, Bubbles took the time to unwrap her burger and take a larger bite before finally being able to restart her thinking
She'd turned Butch into a cat—nothing she couldn't handle.
All she really had to do was go see the witch of the forest and figure out a cure
No big
A/N: For the record—I did not intentionally mean to create this