AN: This will be a multichapter fic comprised of oneshots. Some will be fluffy, some will be smutty. Some will be AU, some canon, some future, some past. They will all focus on the theme 'The Plan', and the plot will differ for each oneshot. I hope you enjoy the first chapter!
I'm working on the next chapter of Letters, but it's not quite ready to be published. In the meantime, I felt the need to write this to get the fic writing muscle working again. Thank you all for your lovely reviews!
Will swallows, trying not to leer as Emma stretches into the 'dolphin' pose on the floor beside the bed. Yoga isn't really Will's thing, but he is glad it's Emma's.
It's ten p.m. on Friday night and Will doesn't have much energy for anything. He's been propped up in bed for two hours trying to finish 'The Renovator's Survival Guide', because he's married to a woman who doesn't believe in brand new homes and mortgages, which seem to go hand in hand. Will has to finish renovating the fireplace in their bedroom and the leaking roof in the master bathroom, but he's never been happier. Emma loves fantasising about the history of their home. She's constantly pruning the rosebushes in the garden because she promised the old lady who sold the house to them that she'd take care of the garden, even though she battles OCD every day. Tonight, Will just can't seem to focus on the text before him.
Emma sighs in exhaustion before she climbs onto the bed where he's sitting, and straddles his thighs.
"You look sexy with your hair like that," she runs her hands over his almost shaved head, the feeling beneath her fingertips so foreign. She's been married for four months and touch has become one of the most interesting things to her; she's going to miss his curls.
Will puts the book down on the nightstand and runs his hands up her thighs, over her black leggings. She feels his fingers dig into her hips. Even though his eyes are half-lidded in exhaustion, he looks hungry for her.
"You look sexy in tight pants," he whispers as he runs his hands up under her singlet, skimming the bare skin of her back. He loves it when she wears this one, braless and nipples so plainly visible beneath the tight, wispy cotton. "And it's also sexy when I can do this…" he drops his hands to her behind and draws her against him, pressing her hard against his hips.
"I was in the grocery store today," Emma mumbles.
"Mhmm…" he hums as he slides his hands further beneath her plain cotton shirt. Emma's bothered, so she pulls it off in one swift motion, wrapping her arms around him. She smells like lavender and tastes of honey. He drops his head and kisses her chest.
"I stopped in the baby foods aisle." His kisses slow and she can feel him smile against her sternum. "I couldn't help it…I was drawn to it."
He releases a deep breath, and she feels it spread right across her chest, warming her naked breasts.
"You were?"
"Yeah. And then I went by the bookstore on the way home and bought a few baby books."
He pulls back quickly, shocked by her confession.
"Are you pregnant?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Well…not yet."
Will laughs and his kisses begin again. He doesn't know how serious she is.
Emma runs a hand up over his neck, and lets her fingernails trail across the back of his head.
"I know how badly you want a baby, Will." He moans lightly as his lips play with a nipple, and she feels her husband harden between her thighs. He's distracted. She gently pushes him back against the headboard, putting some distance between them, even if it is only inches. He looks up at her with amused eyes and a devilish grin.
"Are you listening?"
"Yes, Mrs Schuester."
She smiles nervously.
"Well, I was just saying that I know how excited you are to start a family." He nods, his thumbs slipping beneath the tight black cotton at her hips. "And I know we've been talking about it every now and then, but we never really move forward with anything. And now we've been married for four months and I know it's early, but I just…I want a baby."
He tilts his head to the side, unsure if what to think. She's been giving him mixed signals lately. Last month they'd met a pregnant couple in line for a table at Breadstix, and Emma hadn't stopped looking towards the couple all evening as she pushed her spaghetti around the plate, an excited smile playing at her lips. Will was more than excited by Emma's interest, but he didn't want to rush her. Later that night, Will casually came up behind Emma in the bathroom, wrapped his arms around her, and asked her if she wanted to stop using the spare bedroom as a storeroom and start clearing it out…for the future. "Will, it's going to take at least three months to get everything sorted if we start unpacking right now. I have college applications to process, SAT prep…Is it really worth it?" she had asked. Apparently, it wasn't worth it. And, apparently, Emma wasn't ready.
"Will?" She lightly presses a hand to his bare chest. "You seem shaken?"
He grins, bitting his bottom lip in contemplation. "So soon? It's just having a baby right now isn't on the five year plan. We're supposed to start trying in the July of next year…"
"I know…I just," Emma waves her hand over her chest, her smile so wide Will thinks his heart may explode just looking at her.
She's contemplating something. Her brow is knit, her eyes focused on his finger that is tracing her bellybutton.
"What is it, Em?"
"This is going to sound silly…"
He shakes his head and runs his fingers through her hair.
"Do you remember last week when we went to the children's hospital, when you forgot your ukulele in the car and I went back to get it?"
He nods.
"Well, when I came back into the hospital and got in the elevator, I guess that I wasn't paying attention, and I got off on the wrong floor. I walked out into the neonatal unit. And at first I didn't realise where I was. I thought that maybe I just hadn't recognised some of the posters before—after all, those corridors look the same…"
"They do," Will agrees.
"And when I turned a corner, there was a nurse with an incubator, and she was wheeling it down the hallway into a room. She passed right by me, and there was a baby in there. It was so tiny, Will." Emma pauses. "I've never really cared for babies or children, but that little baby…I've never seen anything so beautiful. And I just felt this overwhelming need for that child to look at me. But it didn't. And when I realised where I was, when I got back in the elevator, I just felt like I wanted to hold a baby. Not necessarily that baby, but any baby."
"That's not silly at all."
Emma's quiet.
"And?"
"What?" she asks.
"It looks like you haven't finished."
"Well...it was just so tiny." He runs his thumb over her bottom lip. "And as I was walking back to you, the need to hold a baby stopped and I started to freak out. I thought, 'What if we have a baby and something goes wrong? What if we have a premmie and our baby can't breathe on his or her own?'
Will purses his lips in silent acknowledgment of her fears.
"And then, as I got to the window, and I saw you with little Joshua in your arms, everything just hit me straight away. Those fears were suddenly so real because…I could have a baby." She brushes her nose against his. "All I had to do was ask."
Will grins.
"So…you're ready to start thinking about trying?"
"No. I'm passed that. I want to start trying. Now."
"Now?" He raises his eyebrows and Emma nods twice, so sure of herself. "Right now?" he clarifies.
She leans forward and presses her lips against his.
"Right now."
"This seems so unreal."
Emma turns from packing her bag and smiles at her husband. "I know," she sighs, craning her neck around Will's tall frame to glimpse his index finger travelling over Jemima's pink cheek as the baby squirms, amused, in the hospital cot. Emma imagines how soft her daughter's skin feels to touch. So delicate, so precious.
It's only been two days since Emma gave birth, and they can take her home, this fragile little bundle theirs to take care of, to love, to cherish. Oh, God.
Emma continues sorting through onesies they'd brought along to the hospital, listening to Will talk to Jem as he lifts her out of the cot and into his arms.
"I think we planned to bring along too many of these jumpsuits," Emma laughs. But Will doesn't hear her. When she turns, he's looking down at Jem. He seems so relaxed, so handsome, so happy. The moment seems too important to interrupt to discuss onesies. Yet, at the same time, the need for onesies is what has made the moment so special.
"I think just how unreal this is every time I look at her," Emma gushes. Will looks up at Emma, watches as she brings a hand to rest on her belly. The shirt she's wearing flows out from her midriff, but it's not one of her maternity tops. Will watches Emma's hand, and his eyes seem glassy for a moment, as though he's confused by the way she looks now, just like the old Emma. For so long she's been the one he fuses over, the woman carrying his child. But now his two loves are two separate people, no longer one. He has his baby in his arms, and his wife within arm's reach. And although Will's still weary about holding such a tiny baby, having her in his arms suddenly makes everything seem less dangerous, Will had told Emma the night before. She understands what he means, how the birth has changed him, too. The love Will looks at Emma with now is different. His eyes shine a type of caring that is just as beautiful, but not as consuming and worried. He's relaxed, Emma guesses, because now he has control, too. "It feels weird not having her in here," Emma chuckles, realising that Will hasn't really seen her as 'Emma' for months.
"I'm sure that's very normal," Will smiles up at Emma. He looks down at Jem again, completely smitten. In that moment, Emma realises that she isn't the single shining light in his life anymore. Now there's a constellation. She's a new person, he's a new person. Emma's heart swells with excitement and terror and overwhelming happiness.
Will smiles. "Actually, when I said that this is so unreal, her being here with us and no longer a part of you…that's not what I meant was so amazing."
Emma tilts her head to the side, slightly confused. "No?"
Jem squirms in Will's arms and looks at Emma, her eyes so wide and green. As Will gently smooths the baby's strawberry blonde hair back, Jem lets out a tiny whimper, watching her mother. Emma fights the growing need to reach for her daughter. Will adjusts Jem, shifting her body to hold her against his chest. He rubs the newborn's back in circles, and Jem burrows her face against the soft cotton of his tight grey t-shirt, content. Emma relaxes, trying to adjust to all of these new feelings.
"I was just thinking that, well…a few years ago I bought you a toaster. You were buying a tract house with Carl, and I—
"Will, let's not get into all that."
"It's fine, Em. I just want you to know that, back then, I would never have thought that this is where I'd be. So, I think this is unreal."
Emma gently lifts herself to sit on the bed amongst the half dozen onesies, a blue, a pink, and the rest white.
"Well, if it's okay to talk about past lives, this wasn't the plan for me when I got married in Vegas," Emma muses, a smile tugging at her lips as she sits forward to place a tiny knitted cap over Jem's head, desperate to fuss over her child, even though she's only been sitting for a moment. "But I'm very glad that my life turned out this way." As Emma leans over Will, cooing at Jem, Will presses his lips against Emma's temple. When she pulls away, Will watches a blush cover Emma's cheeks as she returns to packing the bag.
Will smirks, running a finger over the back of Jem's head. "Em?"
Emma folds Jem's baby blanket into the bag. "Yeah?"
"Before we go home, before all of the craziness starts, I want to tell you that I think you're amazing. For any woman to do this is beautiful and so strong, but the way you've coped with this incredible and messy journey, what you've done…you've given me something beyond beautiful."
She turns to Will, and he sees her tear-stained cheeks. Tears are pooling in his eyes, too, and she's so happy for him. But she's too proud to focus on his happiness in this moment.
Will stands carefully with Jem in his hold, and moves to Emma. He wraps an arm around her back, and Emma presses her body into his, her hand resting over Jem's wool covered head.
To hear that Will loves her, that he appreciates her, it may be selfish, but it makes Emma feel good. Her senses are on overdrive. His words make her feel like everything she's given up for them to have this has been worth it. Just looking at her baby girl is enough, but babies don't thank their mommies for completely giving up their bodies. And Emma hasn't let Will in on what it really feels like now that they have their baby in their arms, because Emma doesn't complain. So, Will doesn't know the kind of pain she's endured for the last few days, that her whole body aches with exhaustion. When he asked her how she physically felt that morning when he arrived to take his wife and daughter home, Emma had said 'lighter', and smiled. He's always supportive, asking if there is anything he can do for her. Will is aware of the ordeal she's gone through, is still going through. He's bought her pads in all shapes and sizes. He's rubbed her lower back countless times since she's given birth. But he doesn't really know, and his words…they mean everything.
And when Emma looks at Jem, and feels Will's thumb gently rubbing against her lower back, she knows that, sometimes, a plan doesn't mean anything.
