Okay, yeah, this is pretty terrible.
It was supposed to be a sort of writing exercise—imagine an alternate universe Inaba crew, or something like that—but I flubbed it. I flubbed it hard. It didn't help that one, it went way longer—and way more difficult to write—than I anticipated, two, I got halfway through it before feeling like I had to switch out one character for another, three, I kept accidentally switching to the second person point of view when this story is written in the third, and four, hey, it's 5:45 AM!
The results you can see plainly before you. Maybe it was only supposed to be a thought exercise, a glorified list of characters from an alternate Persona 4, but even as that it's rubbish. Still, it's an interesting universe, and maybe I'll revisit it someday.
Probably not.
I don't own Persona 4; Altas; et cetera et cetera et cetera.
It starts with Mayumi Yamano hanging from an antenna. No, it starts when the television eats his arm up to the elbow.
Actually, it starts long before that—but he doesn't know that till later so that really doesn't count, right?
Saki Konishi's the second one dead. She found Yamano's body—days later, she's the one hanging. Whoever calls in Konishi decides to leave themselves anonymous. Smart move.
Naoki Konishi's nothing like his sister. Adachi remembers questioning the girl and finding her whiny and flighty—like all girls are nowadays. Naoki's more straight-laced, but the fact that the kid can act so calm and collected so soon after his sister's death kind of pisses him off. Even when he outright baits him ("Are you sure you don't know anything? If my sister died I'd help out any way I could, you know.") the kid just shakes his head and stays quiet.
Well, it doesn't matter, anyway. It's not like the kid knows anything useful. And they still can't figure out what it is that actually killed the girl. They're all running around in a panic trying to find something to connect this to anybody, and to be honest, Adachi's finding it all kind of hilarious.
...Wait, "like all girls are nowadays"? Did he really think that? Jeez. Sure, he's getting old, but he's not Doujima-ancient. Well, not yet..
The gossips are pathetic. There aren't any new leads, so they're hounding anyone slightly connected to the whole thing. And Namatame, of course. Idiot. He didn't want to get caught at home, so he decided to hide at the same inn his lover was staying? They're on him like vultures on an ugly corpse, and that's the last Adachi thinks of the guy before it's midnight and he's on TV wrapped up in formal-looking clothes and singing.
Well, fine. Nobody's going to crack this without his help, anyway. Maybe if he "finds" a clue, that slave-driver might stop yelling at him for coffee all the damn time.
The inn's desperately clinging to tradition (because it's got nothing left), but it looks like someone sprung for a decent TV. Somehow, he's not surprised. What is surprising is the Konishi kid snooping around the room with some delivery girl in tow—apparently, he figured "help out" meant "play detective". That's his job. Adachi tells them that. Nicely, even.
But the kid's got issues, so of course Adachi ends up in the TV. At least he drags them both in with him.
What the hell, there's a bear in here.
It's the kid's fault. Namatame and Nakamura are fine working with whatever Adachi picks out for them, but the kid's a whiner, just like his sister. Didn't he want to avenge her or something? Money for weapons is the least he can contribute.
It isn't like Adachi's been slacking, either. There's some weird stuff lying around the Midnight Channel, and he's been bringing it to the guy manning the counter for reduced prices. That should've been enough to keep the guy quiet, but with Konishi kicking up a fuss anyone would start asking questions. He's good at playing bumbling cop, but he can already see Namatame falling apart like wet newspaper.
The problem becomes moot when someone gets the bright idea to showcase the guy's shop on TV, which means an interview, which means the guy gets thrown in. Of course. He's half tempted to leave him in there, but there aren't any other weapons shops in this Hicksville, and it occurs to him that maybe if the guy realizes what's at stake he might offer an even better discount.
Unfortunately, Daidara's already aware of his little monopoly. Miserable bastard.
When some washed up, snot-nosed idol decides to hide out in Inaba, the press is on it like flies on garbage. Sure, the girl refuses to give interviews, but that's no problem. The reporters just ambush whoever's unlucky enough to be walking past at the wrong time.
It gives Adachi a headache. If the culprit kidnaps all of them, he's not even going to bother.
In the end, though, it's just one girl, as snot-nosed and bratty as the one she's being interviewed on. Adachi doesn't recognize her, but that's why he's got a couple of high schoolers on retainer. Her name's Ai Ebihara, and if the stories he hears are true, the world might be better off without her. For the second time, Adachi considers leaving somebody trapped in the television. And this time, he can't think of a downside.
Turns out guilt is one hell of a downside. It's bizarre—he can't remember the last time he felt guilty, but there he is, cutting down shadows while the rain pours down outside.
He used to laugh at people like this. When did he turn into such a idiot?
He was wrong. He's not an idiot. It's this "Detective Prince" who's the idiot—who sets themselves up to be intentionally kidnapped? If anyone deserves to hang from the rooftops, it's this guy.
But everybody expects him to do something (and even he's expecting him to do something), so he grits his teeth and talks to Doujima. It's not easy—the fact that he's been "distracted" over the last five months has lowered the man's patience down to nil—but he eventually gets the okay to play bodyguard.
With Doujima supervising.
The deliveryman, the smith, the weird kid, and the handful of high schoolers milling around in the area are a total coincidence, of course.
In the end, Adachi succeeds. Sort of. The culprit's plan to kidnap the Prince is foiled, the Prince's plan to get kidnapped is foiled, and then Doujima ruins everything by chasing after the shadowy figure and getting himself lifted instead.
The look on his face when he realizes that Adachi and a loose group of nobodies have been handling the case better than him is sublime. Maybe there's something to this whole hero deal, after all.
"All that exists will be thick fog and writhing shadows."
He's got a million bruises. He can taste blood. His head hurts from where that end table got him.
He grins.
"It's bad enough without you making it worse," he says, and charges.