Disclaimer: Once again, I don not own the Hunger Games. I am not God or Suzanne Collins but hell I wish I was. This is all just in my head and a law suit is now, will not, and will never be needed. Thanks!
I'm such a busy bee at the moment, since I have finished -but not posted all the chapters to- my other story (check it out guys!) I've been imagining up stuff. Don't expect these to be very long, three or four chapters at most, but enjoy, and may the odd be ever in your favour :)
Rocks and Rhubarb
"Delly? Where am I?"
The blonde boy from my childhood asks me, worried and restrained on a hospital bed. I hate to see him like this, so wild and so forgetful, it is like he has forgotten who he is. For all I know, he has. "Peeta, calm down. We talked about this yesterday, remember?"
"Yesterday... what happened yesterday?" I can see his mind turning, eyebrows furrowed.
"I came, we recapped about what happened and we started talking about your childhood. Try to remember. For me."
It has been weeks since he has been retrieved from the Capitol and brought to District 13, but he has been confinded to this room ever since he tried to strangle Katniss.
"I think I can... weren't we talking about our history teacher? , I think."
I come closer to him, and sit in the seat beside him. I can't be at ease though, I know I can't. You see, we are being watched, observed like zoo animals by the doctors behind the screens.
"But I don't want to talk about that anymore." He shakes his head, sending hairs all over his bruised face. I attempt a weak smile, since smiling is my speciality.
"Okay then," I coo, "What do you want to talk about."
"Katniss."
I don't think we should be on this topic. I really don't know where I stand, what to tell him, he is so confused. I turn to the doctors and wait for a chorus of head-nods which permit it.
"Sure, Peeta. What do you want to know?"
"I want to talk to her, I want to see her."
"She's not here, but even if she were, do you think it is a good idea? Last time you saw her, you tried to kill her. That wasn't ideal, now was it?" I try to soothe him. His hands are gripping the side of the bed, but they are shaking. I press mine ontop of his to try to stop them, or to reassure him atleast.
"Delly... I'm just so... confused." He struggles to get his words out, "What am I supposed to think about her? I mean... I don't... I can't... what is real? I can't... it's hard to tell.""
"I am trying to understand, Peeta, I really am. But you need to help yourself. Can we see if I can help with anything? Come on, I was watching both Games aswell."
"I need to know if she loves me, or if she loves... that Gale." His body tenses at the word Gale.
In truth, so does mine, but in a different way.
I don't think I can remember the first time I really... noticed Gale. I think it might have been the first time I talked to Katniss since the arena, when she first came to 13. Before then, he was just Katniss's hunting friend, the provider. I could tell he was in love with her purely just by the way he watched her. Utter awe. Just like the rest of our old district.
I know he just thinks I am the girl who smiles and talks too much. The one who is helping recover Katniss' star-crossed-lover. Apart from that, I'm less than a hair on his head. Another thing just to brush off.
I'm not going to say I am in love with him, because unrequited love is the most painful thing. I know forehand because when I was younger, I used to love the boy say beside me who is now as nutty as a flapjack. Why do I always go for the ones who are in love with Katniss? I think, small drifts of anger reaching my brain.
"Delly, you're hurting my hand." Peeta says, bringing me back to reality.
"Right, sorry. Where were we?"
He looks at me with some sort of pity. I don't know where that sprung from, but I try to push it aside and wait for his next lines.
"We don't need to keep talking about me, Delly. You're always asking me about me, so how are you? What's the matter. You seem out of sorts."
Oh, Peeta. Always thinking of others. I don't know how I ever really got over him, I guess knowing that he was happier with Katniss was a major factor. I still care for him, but only as a friend, because he belongs with Katniss. Everybody knows that.
"Peeta, I'm not here to whine about myself," I grin. "Tell me what you are thinking right this second."
"I never knew somebody so smiley could ever confess to whining."
Smiley. I've had it all my life, the smiley girl from school. Delly, the one who smiles insesantly. Happy to the point of annoyance. My mother always used to tell me. I miss her, and my father and my sister but they are in a better place. Heaven was built for that kind of people.
"Peeta. We can't keep avoiding things with jokes. We need to have a serious talk."
He sighs. The serious ones are always the worst, bringing on another fit of mental torture.
"Fine, Delly. What do you need to know."
"It's not what I need to know, it's what you want to tell me. Simple question then; what is your earliest memory."
"I was in the bakery with my brothers, and I picked up an icing bag and I just started drawing. Of course, they got angry at me wasting ingerdients but then they put it in the window and that's how it started. It was non-stop after that."
"Is that how you got so good at drawing things on rocks?" I say, reminding myself of the little pigs and horses he would sketch with chalk. Before the bombings, I still had a little snail in the bottom of my drawer. I used to sit and look at it if I ever felt down. I wish I still had it.
"I guess so, I always remember once, Katniss' little sister running over and pointing at one of the flower cakes I had made. It was a primrose, because I was thinking she would like looking at it when she came by. Katniss was of course, only too willing to give her little sister pleasure. I should have given it to her. I should have, but I just sat on the counter and watched her pull her little sister away to the Hob. Then Gale came by and sneered at them. I... I..."
His body begins to contort, eyes squeezed shut. "Delly. Does... Is... Gale?" He forces out.
I know what he is asking. "I don't know, Peeta. I would tell you if I did."
I try to keep my voice calm, but once they have slipped through my mouth I reckonginse the cracks of sadness.
"Delly. I know you like him. I can tell, you used to look at me like that." He tell me, resurfaced.
I look down at my feet. I hate how my feelings are so obvious when I am not trying to conceal them. Peeta has known me for so long that he can read me like a book.
"What does it matter? He loves her, I don't have a fighting chance."
"He might be stubborn, but he isn't heartless." Peeta says. As much as Peeta might despise Gale for taking Katniss away, his natural friendliness shines through for everything. "Delly, trust me. He has noticed you. When he is observing us, he does spend alot of time looking at you too. You just need to... do what I did. Tell him."
"You know I can't Peeta. I don't want to just ruin everything. I don't want to make things even more awkward than things already are. Katniss does love you, by the way."
"I'm not so sure." he replies, ever so modest. He can see like everybody else that she does. Katniss and her independence and good looks, she makes everybody jealous and all the boys want her. I can never be like her. I'm too frumpy, bespite what people seem to say.
Spending time with Peeta is painful for the both of us, in more ways than one. He spends half the time battling against the mental invasions, digging the restrains into his wrists to bring him back to reality and it's both emotionally upsetting to be talking about Gale and Katniss. The duo. It has always been that way, and it would take more than some merchant girl to break them apart. I don't take comfort in any of Peetas words about Gale. Whatever he might think about him, he is wrong. There is no pysco-analysing Gale, he is dark at times but is as blunt as an orange.
I don't spend much time with Peeta, I just check into the dinner hall and get my tray full of gruel. I can't complain, I know it is much more than what I would have gotten in the woods. I can't think of any real friends I can sit with, any real people I can confide in. I just wave as I pass people by, occasionally stop to make conversation. Most people are asking about Peeta, about how he is and how long it might take to recover. To most, I just say "Slowly but surely."
I make my way to the Hawthrone table, where Hazelle and Posy sit opposite Vick and Rory. Hey greet me warmly, and make a small space for me. I smile gratefully.
"Hello Delly." Posy says in her beautiful little girl voice.
"Posy! I have got something for you." I dig into my District 13 assigned trousers and retrieve a yo-yo I picked up from my room. One of the few belonging I saved as we were ushered out of the District. I like to think I have grown out of it, but really I would rather this peice of me be given to a piece of Gale. I know how much he cares for his family, so much so he would take being shot in the head or whipped to provide for them.
"Thanks Delly!" She grins. There isn't much entertainment here in 13, so this is a welcome gift. "How does it work?"
Me and Hazelle attempt to explain it to her, but eventually Vick demostrates and Posy has a try. She giggles and manages to roll it on the floor behind her after several attempts. I like children, the glee they get at the simplest things and it is refreshing not to be in a sullen room with a mentally disorientated tortured boy having fits beside me.
I push around the soup at the bottom of my bowl and give my bread to Vick, who obviously isn't full enough yet. I can't be bothered to eat right now, my mind is spinning with thoughts of Gale, Peeta and Katniss. It doesn't help that I am restricted below grounds all day long, but I am trying to think of a posotive outlook when Hazelle offers to take my tray.
"I'm fine thank you, do you want some help?"
She is trying to balance all four trays in her arms, so I take two away from her, and pile them onto my own. She has enough to deal with, what with three youngsters running about the place.
"Thank you, dear." She says as we walk together to the heap, where a gaurd takes them off both of us and sends it down the shoot.
"Do you know if there is anything I can do to help in the kitchens?" I ask. I have nothing else to do today, my arm tells me, so I will make myself useful.
He stands formally, but he has a light tone that matches his short grey hair.
"You could serve some things if you want, just head through that door and show your print."
I nod at the guard, at Hazelle, and Posy wraps her arms around my leg. "Thank you again."
I pat her head and make my way to the kitchen doors.
Inside is madness, people sweating and dashing about, hot water added to things to make them stretch. The scanner reads my forearm, and allows me to reach the serving desks as people arrive in groups. Greasy Sae is chopping up bits of meat at one end and Caprice Sondem is dishing out ladel fulls of soup and rolls of bread on her own. I head over to help her, sliding on an apron. "Kitchen duties?" She asks, passing along somebodies tray.
"Voluntairily." I answer, taking over a ladel and another pot of soup.
"Pfsht." She sighs. "Not everybody is as selfless as you. You're just making the standards too high for everybody else."
I laugh, and hand a citizen a bread roll. "I haven't got anything else to do."
"We've missed you in here, what with all your helping that Peeta lad."
A little boy stands with his bowl outstreched, barely just making the counter. I spoon in the broth, then add a little more for good measure and hand it back to him with a wink. He grins at the brim full bowl and I pass him the biggest roll I could see. His mother stands over him, and shots me a gratefull look before leading him away.
"Seriously," Caprice continues, "How can one person be so nice?"
I hear grunts from behind in conformation to what she said, and then a wave of red hair bobs around as she laughs. Caprice was the first person I met coming into thirteen, and she and I have shared kitchen duties and many a sarcastic joke. She, like most people can read my thoughts like a hologram, but doesn't say it. She keeps what she knows close to her chest.
"Have you had your food yet?" I ask her, converting subject.
"Nope, but I will make sure I get you from the serving size you have been giving other people."
"Sssh!" I urge. "I don't want to get arrested or whatever happens here!"
"I might be deeply sarcastic, but I am not a grass."
That's true. I've often been one to slip my servings to people, but she hasn't told a soul.
"I'm thinking I might join the military here." She tells me. We are labelled as soilder the second we pass through the thirteen gate, but you have the option to join the real army if you are willing. "I just want to get out and do something. I feel closeted in here."
In the next hour between duties people come and go, and I give the younger ones the special treatment as always. Most times the parents give me a thanks or a look, but some don't want to risk it. It's weird how rationed everything is. I've been told not to dwell on my old District too much, but I always think of my parents butcher shop, and how things were limited to us, but not in the way that we were starving. I was one of the only people at school who could show off a layer of real flesh. That seems to have evaporated with the District 13 diet. I'm thinner than before, my cheeks hollower and ribs alot more prominent, but not to the point of neglect. When I leave, arm scanned and cleared I go back to my room. I have nobody to bunk with, nobody to fill the top bed. I always though that person would be Katniss, but she is with her mother and sister. I really should pay them a visit, has always been so pleasant, and Primrose... well. Everybody loves Primrose. She is such a little darling.
I root through my draws and I find a ball of thread that I promised myself I would use to knit a scar or gloves with. Now I just don't think I have the will power to. I push the ball into my pocket and make my way to the Everdeen apartment, passing though several doors and through many corridors until I reach my destination. I knock twice on their door, hoping I have dropped on right for their reflection. Thankfully, the door swings open and Primrose stands, blonde hair pigtailes over eack shoulder, and tied off with a ribbon. Behind her, her mother and her cat, Buttercup. I have no idea what that cat is doing in 13, I would have though Greasy Sae would have found some way to disguse it into some mystery stew or other. She welcomes me in, and I hold out the ball of string. "I though Buttercup could have some fun, or you could knit something or other with it."
"Delly, you're so kind! Thank you." She puts it on the end of her bed. "Sit down! How are you?"
For a young girl, she has become so much more mature than I can remember.
"I'm very well, thanks. And you, Prim, Mrs.E?"
"We are both very well," says in a motherly tone. "How's Peeta? Any news?"
I grimace, "Well, he has asked to see Katniss. He's getting better, but there are small things he's missing out. I don't think he fully understands what has been going on, and forgetting things of short-term memory. It could help if you or Prim came, but I don't know how he would act. I don't think he would go insane because he has only fond memories of Prim at his bakery, but then there is the whold Katniss side of things. We can only test and find out."
Prim is nodding, but Mrs.E seems alot more reluctant. "What would it entail?" she asks.
"Just ten minutes or so talking to him, just purely for memories and comfort since you know... his own parents aren't..." I struggle how to put the last words without causing upset.
She seems to get the message, and agrees.
Back to my empty bunk bed, I sit down and curl up. I think my shower time should be around now, but I might just let the person in front of me have some extra time, since I'm not half as grubby as most other people. I take my grey towel out of the drawer and make my way to the dormitory showers. Once inside, I undress and hop into one of the metal doors. The water hits me straight away, covering my body with goosebumps and foam. After a minute or so, I feel refreshed so I just get out and wrap the towel around me. I dry myself off, slide back into the assigned clothes and into bed. District 13 schedules are always daunting, but they keep the days passing. Mine is always diffent to everyone else, usually big segments cut out and changed to Patient Development which is just code for: Helping out the mad boy. Tomorrow no doubt I will spend a couple of hours helping out in the education sector, do some laundry or something and then go and see Peeta. I wonder if Gale will be home by tomorrow as well...
I miss him.
Gale does come home, which I am glad for. During my hour with Peeta, I spy on him scribbling down what Peeta has to say about his bakery. "I used to bake the bread. Mom always watched me, making sure I wasn't using too much fruit in the dough."
"What happened if you did?" I ask, prompting a move in subject.
"She used to shout at us."
"Can you remember that diner lady at school that used to shout alot? I dropped my tray once and it was non-stop for ten minutes ago. I ended up crying, granted I was nine at the time."
He chuckles, "I think I do. Was she short with really sharp cheekbones? Really moody?"
Through my ear peice, a doctor tells me that Mrs.E and Primrose will be coming in, so I need to move it along. "Peeta, how do you feel about seeing Primrose and Katniss' mother today?"
"Are they here? How come they didn't visit me sooner?" He asks, somewhat sadly.
"Nobody was sure if it was a good idea for you to see somebody so close to Katniss, but they are waiting outside."
"That would be nice. You know, since I don't have any family left anyway."
I see his hands, streaked with blood, fiercely gripping the edge of the table. "Calm down, Peeta. Remember, breathe in, breathe out, repeat." I follow through the steps with him, exaggurating my breaths for him to hear.
"I need to go now, Peeta. Promise me you will be okay. I'll be behind the glass if you need me."
"Thank you." He whispers, eyes closed and face calmer now.
I head out, signal for Prim and her mom to go in, the I head for the door which will take me behind the glass. Two gaurds stand, arms folded. I head over and go to push the door open, but one stops me, practically putting my arm out of the socket.
"Escuse me, miss, this is a permitted area only for doctors."
The other one continues, "You need a pass on your arm or we will have to ask you to leave."
I pull up my sleeve, to reveal nothing but 1400 Education Center.
"Goodbye miss." the burliest one says, nodding to the far end of the corridor.
I turn to leave, until a voice behind says, "She's with me. Come on Delly."
He voice is Gale's.
I have to smile before I turn around, but it says fixed on my face when I see him. Tall and strong, dark and handsome. Some say he is miserable, but I can see that he is so much more than that.
"Hi Gale!" I say enthusicatically.
"Hello Delly." He holds the door open for me as I pass through them. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fantastic thank you, how are you? How's Katniss?"
"I'm alright... and Katniss is stubborn. As always."
I sit in a seat beside him, over looking into the room where Peeta is held captive. Prim and has just entered, and I think he might be searching the glass for my face. I lean closer to it, just so he might be able to make me out and smile.
He smiles back, and waits for Prim and Mrs.E to come closer.
"Thanks for giving Posy that yo-yo." Gale whispers into my ear when I sit back down, his warm breath tingling on my skin.
"It's the least I can do," I return, "There isn't much fun around here these days."
"She's mad about it. Thanks." He gives my cheek a little kiss before returning his head to it's orgininal position, and I have to refrain from sighing aloud. Instead, I turn up the corners of my mouth at nobody in particular. Smiling has always been second nature, and hard to keep away.
I watch his big, muscular hands write down parts of conversation. I watch his arms and face tense when they talk about Katniss, but most importantly I watch his eyes, scanning the room, scanning Peeta and then occasionally crossing mine. His big, beautiful grey eyes that shine like the moon. To me, nothing is more gorgeous than Gale. Nothing a person could say, or anything a person could do would even sum up to my feelings for him. The one thing I can't get beyond is his feelings for Katniss.
Maybe one day he will be mine.