Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Tee hee. :D
Summary:
In which Sasuke has to tell his daughter her favorite bedtime story: How him and her mother met.
"I fell in love with her because she was smart, beautiful, and fun." He pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed with all her question-asking.
Emi plopped onto her bed. "So, now she's stupid, ugly, and boring?"
"Of course not."
"Then, what's the problem?"
"It's complicated, Emi."
Staring at the manila folder, Sasuke groaned. Fairytales were lies. Lies, I tell you! He opened it up carefully.
D I V O R C E P A P E R S :
Hereby we legally divorce Ino Yamanaka and Sasuke Uchiha. Please sign your signatures below to confirm your divorce.
Wife Signature: Ino Yamanaka
Husband Signature: _
Sasuke sighed. Maybe happy endings were never meant to come true. He suddenly sat up, realizing today was a Tuesday. Tuesdays and Thursdays were his favorite days. He was able to pick up his 10-year-old daughter, Emi, from school.
He hurried out of the office, checking his phone. It read 5:34. Looking both ways, he crossed the busy street.
Pushing open the doors of the school, Sasuke peered in. It was a mess. Parents and children arguing loudly while teachers stood at the doorways, apologizing madly and scolding the students.
"What's going on?" Sasuke asked a woman hurrying past him.
"Did you know there was going to be a sex ed. class today?" The woman questioned, hands on her hips.
He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't they a little too young?"
"Yeah! It was a total disaster!" She flung her hands angrily in the air.
One of the teachers had passed by, catching bits of their angry rant. "At least it got them reading." He shrugged.
"There's a book?" Sasuke glanced around, noticing a group of kids huddled together, reading a book.
"The 250 million sperm are ejaculated and begin their treacherous journey toward the fallopian tubes," A boy read, fascinated. "One hundred million are wiped out instantly…"
Shuddering slightly, Sasuke turned away. "I'm gonna go find Emi."
In the midst of the crowd, there Emi stood. She gave him a look. "We need to talk."
"And then the man thrusts his penis into a woman's vagina-" Emi continued happily, explaining the things taught in school today.
"Emi," Sasuke replied impatiently, "Stop saying thrust and penis so loud."
She rolled her eyes. "But what gets me," she looked thoughtful. "is that Sammy's sister said she was an accident. You can't just accidently thrust your pe-"
"Emi!" Sasuke glanced around him, embarrassed by her nonchalant tone. "Look, he didn't slip on a banana peel or anything. The accident is that Sammy's mom got pregnant."
Emi looked down. "But if they didn't want a baby, why did they have sex?"
Sasuke started to say something, but stopped. "That is a very good question."
"I was an accident, wasn't I?"
"No, Emi, you were completely and totally on purpose." He gave her a hug.
Emi sighed, giving up.
Later that night, Emi was cutting her dinner. "I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom." She suggested gleefully.
Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "Why do you keep saying 'my mom' like I've never met her?"
"Well, because now that you're getting divorced, she's mine, not yours." Emi stated.
"Is that so?"
"Tell me how it really happened. And the real story, not the 'Oh, we met, we fell in love, and we decided to take all that love and make a family, and that's how we made you.'" She faked a high girly voice.
Sasuke cleared his throat. "When you're old enough."
Emi stared at him intently, seemingly forgetting their last conversation.
"What?" He looked at her weirdly.
"What's the boy word for slut?" Emi cocked her head.
What the-? Gosh, his daughter was so random. "They still haven't come up with one yet," Sasuke answered, thinking about it. "But I'm sure they're working on it."
"I'm guessing you weren't her first boyfriend," Emi's voice rang clear from the bathroom. "Maybe it was some nerdy guy, or maybe he was mean. Or maybe," Emi spit her toothpaste into the sink and turned back toward him. "you were friends for the longest time, and then just when you were about to put your penis in someone else's vagina…"
"Alright Emi, good night," Sasuke ushered her into her bedroom.
"…And you realized Mom was the only one for you!"
"Emi!"
She walked, thoughtful. "You still have to tell me the story of why you fell in love with her."
"I fell in love with her because she was smart, beautiful, and fun." He pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed with all her question-asking.
Emi plopped onto her bed. "So, now she's stupid, ugly, and boring?"
"Of course not."
"Then, what's the problem?"
"It's complicated, Emi."
"Everything with you is so complicated!" Her voice rose higher and higher. "I bet if you told me the story you'd realize that it's not complicated at all. That you just…love her." Emi stared him straight in the eye.
"What are you thinking? That I'm just gonna tell you the story and everything's going to be better? No, it doesn't work that way." Sasuke bent down to her level.
She sighed. "Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Tell me and we'll find out."
He flicked the light switch off. "No. Game over. It's time for bed."
"No! It's NOT time for bed! It's time for you to tell me the story!"
"Emi!" He shouted, exasperated.
"Please, I need to know." Emi sadly looked at him. "I need to know."
Lights back on. "Fine, Fine! I'm gonna tell you the story, but I'm not gonna tell you who your mom is."
"Fine."
"You're just gonna have to figure it out yourself."
"Good."
"And I'm changing all the names and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now. And then we'll see how smart you are."
Emi smiled, excited. "I like it! It's like a love story mystery."
"Great. Sounds good. You ready?"
"No."
"No?"
She fluffed her pillows and grabbed her stuffed animals. Placing them in their respective spots, she snuggled deeper into the covers. She gave him a look of defiance. "I'm ready."
Sasuke smirked. "Okay, once upon a time…"
Haha. Got this idea from the movie Definitely, Maybe. Not my plot! (Not all of it, anyway.)
I'll be writing more chapters soon!
CYA! PEACE! :P