Disclaimor: I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry: HA HA!!

Me: Why you little…

Harry: Hey…what are you doing? Hey, I write with that hand! Hey, I need that to produce children!! OhdearGodjustkillmeNOW!!

Warning: There WILL be cussing in this fic. SO those of you who are offended by bad language should just leave now.

"This is a very potent potion. It was used in the ancient times for public humiliation. It would break down the defenses of people because not only would it cause the subject to blurt out their deepest, darkest secrets, it would also utterly embarrass them and therefore, break their spirit. But not many people could use this potion because the ingredients were difficult to find and it was also very difficult to brew."

Professor Snape's voice drifted over the cold, dark classroom. It was surprisingly chilly, even for fall and the students shivered; half from the cold and half from the teacher's haunting voice. The famous Boy-Who-Lived, Harry James Potter, sat in the very back with his two best friends, Ronald Billius Weasely and Hermione Jane Granger.

Normally, Harry and Ron wouldn't be listening to a single thing that the "greasy-haired, git with a hippogriff up his arse" spat out and would, instead, pass notes to each other or play tic-tac-toe under the desk while Hermione tsk-tsked quietly at them.

But, today, the Melicus Confusus potion that the professor spoke about sounded so interesting, they abandoned their "all-or-nothing" 5 Galleon betting tic-tac-toe game to listen to his talk along with Hermione.

"Can you believe it?" Ron whispered to Harry and Hermione. "Not only does it make you reveal your secrets, it makes you SING them. That's gotta be the worst thing I've ever heard of. Let's put it in Malfoy's pumpkin juice."

That earned him a slap from Hermione.

"Now, since you all ASTONISHINGLY passed your Potions O.W.L.'s, I expect you ALL to be able to brew this potion by the end of the day. If not, your house will be docked ten points."

An outraged murmur spread through the room. Snape's lips curled into what looked like a nasty smirk.

"Ten points EACH."

The murmuring soon grew into shouts until Snape silenced them with a glare. The only one who didn't look angry was Draco Malfoy, who instead sat with a calm expression on his delicate features. Of course, he had nothing to worry about. Snape would never dock any points from HIM.

"Now, the ingredients and directions are on the board. Start brewing."

Harry's P.O.V.

Ok, calm down. Calm Harry. Act nonchalant. NON-CHA-LANT. I am relaxed. REEELLLLAAAXXXEED. I do NOT want to take this dried griffin's claw and shove it up Neville's arse to stop him from dropping EVERY SINGLE BLOODY INDREDIENT ON MY FOOT!! Whooo, lost the happy. BUT THE HAPPY'S BACK!

Oh, who am I kidding? I mean, Neville's a good guy and all. He's really loyal and he kicked big arse at the Ministry last year but sometimes….sometimes…wow.

Can someone really be THAT clumsy? I mean, are his fingers paralyzed or something? Why can't he just HOLD ON to something?

I swear, if he drops another thing on my foot, I'll-HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!!That fucking HUUURRTSS!!

Arrggghhh, I swear I'm going to have anger management problems AND high blood pressure by the time this is over.

Hermione's P.O.V.

Oh dear. That's the sixth ingredient Neville's dropped on Harry's foot. Dragon lungs are pretty heavy. Poor Harry. I know his foot will be black and blue by the end of this. And I'm sure that the vein throbbing on his left temple isn't a good thing either.

Ron's P.O.V.

I hope Harry doesn't kill Neville yet. He still has my Chudley Cannons poster.

Draco's P.O.V.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE LONGBOTTOM! IF HE KEEPS THIS UP, I'LL COUGH UP MY HEART! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA!

Snape's P.O.V.

You know, I should probably act like I notice Longbottom dropping all those things on Potter's foot. I should probably also make them switch partners. I should probably also feel slightly sympathetic to Potter's plight.

Nah.

End All P.O.V.

During the entertainment of Harry's pain, no one noticed when Neville dropped a rather dangerous into the potion. Two minutes later, a large explosion sounded in the Potion's classroom. Green ooze shot out from Neville's cauldron and drenched the entire class.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! MY BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES!"

Most the class lay on the floor while those with good reflexes (namely Harry and almost all the Slytherins) had jumped under desks and crouched under. Ron, on the other hand, stood there like an idiot and had received a face full of potion.

"Professor, what happened?" Hermione questioned as she shakily rose to her feet. Green ooze slowly slid its way down her robes.

"I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!!"

"Well, Miss Granger, apparently, someone added a wrong ingredient to the potion and, therefore, caused it to implode." Professor answered curtly.

"I'M GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE A FUCKING CANE!! WITH A FUCKING DOG STRAPPED TO ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!"

"Is the potion still effective then?" Blaise Zabini inquired, wiping the slime off his expensive white shirt with a look of distaste.

"I'm not so sure, Zabini. It all depends on what the extra ingredient was."

"SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW!!"

"SHUT UP, RON!!!" Hermione snapped loudly.

"Yes, Hermione." Was the meek answer.

"Longbottom, what was the ingredient you added to the cauldron?" Snape asked coldly. Neville's eyes widened and his hands shook as he spoke.

"H-How'd you know it was m-me?"

Snape's lips curled into another creepy, cruel smile.

"It's ALWAYS you, Longbottom. Now, tell me what the ingredient was!" He exclaimed.

"I-I think it was ginger root, sir."

The cruel smile grew wider from amusement.

"Then all of you will be singing your deepest, darkest secrets in a matter of minutes." Was his reply.

Two minutes later…

"WHHHAATTTT??????"

"HOW CAN THIS BE?"

"OH GOD! I DON'T WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT!"

"Professor! There must be a cure! I KNOW there is!" Hermione cried, desperately. Her eyes had a manic glint in them, as if she REALLY did not want people to know her secret.

"You're right, Miss Granger. There IS an antidote. However, it takes around two months to brew. The antidote is three times more complicated than the potion itself."

"But…But…THAT MEANS THAT WE'LL ALL BE STUCK LIKE THIS FOR TWO MONTHS!" Hermione cried. Horror spread across her features.

"Yes. Now excuse me. I will have to go to Madame Pomfrey in order to retrieve a few ingredients. You must all stay here. I am going to lock the door with an advanced locking spell and anyone who tries to open the door shall be electrocuted."

Professor Snape slowly walked toward the classroom door amid the chaos, before stopping and then turning around again.

"By the way, fifty points from Gryffindor for ruining the Potion."

The clamor that arose after Snape left the room was not a happy one.

(A/N: My first chapter. Aww…I'm so proud of myself. pats self on back You know the drill. If you want me to post the next chapter, review. And also recommend a few songs you want the characters to sing.)

(Oh, and by the way, Melicus Confusus means Musical Embarrassment.