This is my First Song Fanfic. I figured we could all use a Cheesy Linstead pick-me-up after the episode last week and this weeks finale. It is to Shotgun Rider by Tim McGraw. Most things written do NOT line up with the current story line of the show. But I just started writing and went with the flow of things. So Enjoy! :)
Italics- Flashbacks
Bold- Lyrics
Please excuse any grammatical errors, as I am human, everyone makes mistakes.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own ChicagoPD nor any of its characters as that right belongs to the incredible Dick Wolf.
They had only been broken up for three weeks but it was still fresh and it still hurt. That night after shift in the locker room still on their minds, she chose to end what they had, the love they shared, because their boss and her Pseudo-Father was onto their rendezvous relationship. He was willing to come clean, but no matter how much she loves him, she could never let him do that and have them both lose their jobs.
"So we will Cool It. But, we will always have each other's back.." Jay said gently caressing Erins cheek. "Always." She stated remorsefully, forcing a sympathetic smile to hold back her swell of emotions, the back of his hand burning a path down the skin of her cheek.
The atmosphere had been different since then, and everyone knew it, they just did not know why.
It had been a long week with the Intelligence Unit closing a Major case. Everyone was ready to leave.
"Okay! It has been one heck of a week, and I for one am down for closing it out with some drinks. Who is with me?" Adam Ruzek, the youngest member of the Unit said all too joyfully.
Nobody replied. They continued to stare at him.
"Okay… What if I said the first couple of rounds were on me?" he said hoping to get their attention. Which apparently worked.
"I'm in." said Antonio and Atwater.
"Al, you wanna join?" Ruzek said turning to his much older partner.
"Ehhh sure, I mean you are buying after all." Olinsky replied with a sly grin on his face.
"Alright! So that leaves Halstead and Lindsay. Y'all in?"
Jay looked at Erin. Erin looked at Jay. Neither wanting to turn down free drinks, but also neither wanting to be in the presence of the other.
"You know. I would but I already have plans." Lied Jay whose plans consisted of take-out, beer and the latest Blackhawks game on DVR.
"Thanks Adam, but I too have plans." Fibbed Erin, whose plans were a bubble-bath, a good book, and the bottle of Whiskey she had in the cupboard.
"Guys, com'on.. I am buying… pretty please."Ruzek pleaded with them. "We haven't went to Molly's together to hang-out in ages!" he said giving them his best puppy dog face, practically on his knees begging.
Erin rolled her eyes. "Fine." She sighed.
Jay laughed at how pathetic Ruzek was being, but obliged. "Alright, I'm in."
Everyone grabbed their jackets and went their separate ways, planning on meeting at Molly's at nine.
As Jay arrived at the bar, he spotted the crew in the back corner, and made his way through the crowded floor.
"Hey guys." Jay greeted, receiving pleasantries back, he sat down in the booth and noticed a familiar face was missing.
'Figures… 'We can still be friends'… That was bull' he thought thinking back to the break-up in the locker room, imitating Erin.
"Alright! So I have drinks! Let's drown our sorrows!" Ruzek cheered arriving to the table.
'I do not see how Burgess puts up with him.' he thought to himself, grabbing a beer from Adam.
A beer and a shot of Jack Daniels later, an unforgettable husky voice greeted and joined them.
"Lindsay! Nice of you to join us. Since everyone else has met my drink quota of the night it is your turn, what can I get you?"
Ruzek asked as she sat down with them at the table.
'Great.. the only seat left is beside him.' She thought, regretting coming to the bar.
"I will take a beer and a shot of Whiskey. You know what forget the beer just bring me Whiskey."
"Dang. Who broke your heart Lindsay? Or rather whose heart did you break?" Ruzek joked.
Lindsay glared "Ruzek, it has been a rough week, and I am not in the mood."
"Ok, Whiskey it is." Ruzek said putting his hands up in surrender, walking away.
She quickly glanced beside her, to see if her partner/ex was even paying attention. He was.
Just sitting this close to each other burned their skin, she craved him and he needed her touch.
Jay coughed hoping nobody else at the table noticed the look that had just happened. "Um I am making a run to the bar, anybody want anything?" Jay asked needing to leave the thick air between him and his partner. Ruzek returned with Erins drink.
They had been doing great of keeping it professional at work since the break-up, but this was the first time they had been out together in public since then and it was awkward.
Jay sat at the bar, waiting for the air to clear, hoping that the bottle of beer he was nursing would make him forget, and he cursed himself as he already knew that it would take a lot more alcohol than that to forget. Knowing that he was practically sober, he made his way back to the table.
As the night went on the teams' discussions were all over the place, mainly about the cases they were working and had just closed, as well as how the Blackhawks had won in overtime the night before last 2-1. Jay joining the conversation ever so often. Erin tending to her bottle of Whiskey. Neither there to talk.
The bar started to become less crowded as the evening grew nigh, and the members of Intelligence began to sneak out the door. It was two in the morning, with only Jay, Erin, Antonio, a few firefighters, and a few customers left in the bar.
"Well guys, I am going to hit the head, and get out of here, I have Eva and Diego tomorrow and Sunday. So I will see you on Monday." Spoke Antonio to Jay and Erin. Neither one paying attention, both in their own world, avoiding each other. Antonio knew that something had happened between the two, he just did not know to what extent, even though they tried to keep it out of work, it was still noticeable as there was no longer the spark there.
Jay was about to get up and leave when he began hearing the guitar strum to the tune of the song.
His eyes widened and he looked over to her to see that she too had heard it.
Their song.
They had just finished up a bust at a warehouse, they were both wore out as they had been up into the early hours of the morning that day.
The bust was a success, they found the missing girls who were about to be transported, and stumbled upon a counterfeiting operation.
The rest of the team had just left and they were removing their equipment at the car, when Jay noticed it on his vest. "Well that is always nice." He muttered.
"What? What are you talking abo-." Erin responded when she seen it. There was a bullet lodged in the metal of the com-transmitter, which just happened to be located in his vest above his heart.
Erin began to freak out. "Are you ok!? How could you not feel or notice that!?" Jay was dumbfounded. "I knew we were being shot at and that this job has its moments but good grief! I don't know maybe all the adrenaline? I guess I just got lucky."
"Huh. Lucky is right! I don't wanna lose my partner." She said calming down. "Lose your partner huh? Are you sure there isn't more to that Detective Lindsay?" he said winking at her. Erin lightly punched Jay in the arm. "Yeah, I would not want to be stuck with Ruzek as a partner or worse have to train a new house husband! Besides Detective Halstead, I am taken." She joked.
"Oh really. And who is this lucky guy?" he asked, playing along. She stood there thinking "Well he is a former Army Ranger turned Detective, like you, about yay high,' raising her hand to the top of his head she continued 'he knows his weapons, like you, eats mainly Chinese take-out but can make a mean Crab Macaroni and Cheese even though he says he cannot cook…" Erin said rolling her eyes.
"Wow Lindsay, it sounds like this boyfriend of yours is something else. Too bad he cannot kiss you right now." Jay said grinning foolishly. "One question though, will you ever let him drive?" he asked giving a puppy dog pout. "In your dreams Babe." Laughed Erin. As they both got into the car, the song came on.
Roll, won't you come roll with me slow, fast, full speed
Girl wherever sweet time takes us
Hang, with me down this old road
Only god knows where we'll go
Don't matter long as I've got your love
Jay began hitting buttons on the car radio, trying to find the name of the song. "Jay, what are you doing?" Erin asked quizzically.
"This song, it reminds me of us. Because who knows how much longer we have until someone finds out, we work together and we haven't exactly been discreet about it being together, but who knows where we will end up Erin. As long as I have you, nothing can go wrong… I love you." He said the words. Love. They had been partners for three years, but a couple for six months.
Erin did not know what to say, none of her previous so called 'relationships' make it to this point she would always break the poor guys heart, so she stopped the car and turned to look at him. "Jay, I.. I love you too, but just know that if anything happens between us I will always have your back." He turned to her, not expecting those words to come out, actually expecting her to dump him.
"That's why you have back up." He said closing the space over the console, giving her a quick but yet deep kiss, knowing that even though they were alone they were still on the job. She reached over and grabbed his hand only for a second, before releasing it and returning to the road.
Erin looked into Jays ocean blue eyes, how they filled her with warmth. Jay looked at Erin, who was wearing a red shirt, black blazer, black skinny-jeans, her hair pulled back, make-up minimal; 'This woman will be the death of me..' he was thinking when an idea popped into his head. Jay quickly got up from the table. Erin thought he was leaving but was surprised when he walked over to her.
"C'mon." said Jay, with his hand outreached, a smile on his face.
"Halstead, what are you doing?"
"I want to dance with the most attractive girl I know." He said explaining his actions.
Erin felt her cheeks turn red. She obliged and took his hand as they made their way to an open area in the bar. Where they began to slow dance.
I don't ever want to wake up,
Lookin' into someone else's eyes
Another Voice calling me baby
On the other end of the phone
A new girl puttin' on her makeup
Before dinner on Friday night
No I don't ever wanna know, Oh O
No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin' to the radio,
"Jay? I'm sorry." Erin said looking up.
"For what?"
"I'm sorry, that I broke you. Honestly, I think it has hurt me more than you, but, we both knew things would change.." she told him, tears in her eyes.
"Hey' he said pulling her closer, caressing her cheek, staring into the eyes that make him melt. ' don't. You know, just still have the hope of our 'One Day' and that maybe things will be different. Because Erin I am still in love with you, and that will never change, I will always be your back-up. Things will eventually work out, they always do." He said with a sly grin on his face, a look of hope and determination in his eyes.
Slide, slide over nice and close
Lay your head down on my shoulder
You can fall asleep I'll let you
Dream, life aint nothing but a dream, don't wanna be
Cruisin' through this dream without you
Erin did not know what to say. She just let his words sink in and continued to sway with him to the music.
Antonio had just walked out of the restroom, about to leave when he seen the two, dancing out in the middle of the bar with each other's head on the others shoulder, dancing a little closer than 'just friends or partners' would. He smiled 'So this is what happened. They couldn't keep it in their pants could they?' He laughed silently as he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Deciding whether or not to send it, he choose the former and walked out the door.
I don't ever want to wake up,
Lookin' into someone else's eyes
Another Voice calling me baby
On the other end of the phone
A new girl puttin' on her makeup
Before dinner on Friday night
No I don't ever wanna know, Oh O
No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin' to the radio, Woohoo Oh O
No other shotgun rider, Oh O
Suddenly Erin backed up, "I'm Sorry." She told him, tears falling down her cheek as she went out the door of the bar and left him standing there dumbfounded. She ran outside and to her car, jumping in and driving off. She did not know why she was allowing her feelings to come back, she is the kind of person that can bury the hatchet and throw away the key.
She made it home, running up the three flights of stairs, unlocking the door and flinging it open out of confusion. Confusion of her feelings, confusion of what just happened, what had happened the past eight months. She threw her keys down onto the table beside the door and settled into her couch. She turned on the television for background noise and continued to think about what he said.
'just still have the hope of our 'One Day' and that maybe things will be different. Because Erin I am still in love with you, and that will never change, I will always be your back-up. Things will eventually work out, they always do.'
'Damit Jay! But what if they don't!' she thought. Playing through all the 'What Ifs?' in her head. 'What if one of us gets shot? What if one of us dies? What if I fall even more for him only for the worse to happen? What if he cannot accept the rest of my past?'
She had fallen for her partner. Three years ago he was just her partner but now he was so much more. Her partner had become her friend, friend to best friend, best friend to boyfriend. Her heart knew what she needed to do, but her mind was not so convinced.
She heard her phone buzz as she had received a text message, from no other than Antonio.
'Hey, not sure what has been going on between you and Halstead, but, I can tell you one thing is for sure. A few months ago, you guys were the happiest people around, (and that didn't go unnoticed) that was until a few weeks ago. Now, I can take a wild guess as to what happened (initials H.V. if I am correct. Which I am.) But I just want to tell you that in the many years that I have known both of you, I have never seen neither one of you this happy. Erin, what I am trying to say is to follow your heart, take it from me and my failed marriage… I should have fought more, and loved the way that you both do. If you do not believe me that you two are meant for each other, look at this.
Attached was the picture of her and Jay in the bar, smiles on both their faces, leaning on each other, slowly dancing like they were the only ones in the world.
She smiled. Of course, Antonio always has the greatest timing. She ran towards the door, threw a pair of slip-on shoes on, grabbed her keys from the table and ran out the door.
He still could not wrap his head around what had happened, as he walked into his apartment. 'I poor out my feelings to my ex/girl of my dreams/partner and yet I get turned down? Dumped? Is there even a word to describe what happened?' he asked himself. He shook his head and walked towards his bedroom, changing into a pair of sweats and falling into bed, just wanting the day to end. He had just fallen asleep when someone began obnoxiously banging on his door.
"Seriously! Its 2:30 in the freaking morning!" he said aloud walking towards his door jerking it open. "What the Hel-" he stopped. "Erin.. What do you want?"
"You. Detective Jay Halstead. I am still in love with you. You are my best friend, my partner, my hero, hell at this point maybe my soulmate even though I don't believe in that crap. You irritate me to death sometimes, and I don't care what Voight thinks, if he truly cares about me all he wants is me happy and not hurt. But I love you and I want you." She said throwing it all out there in the open.
"Really Lindsay?' he said jokingly 'you have to wait until 2:30 in the morning to tell me this?"
"Shut up, Halstead. You want me to leave? Cause I will? Ok here I go." She said returning the banter, laughing, pretending to walk away, she felt his hand grab her arm and spin her around quickly.
"Never.' He said smiling 'Question though, will I get to ever get to drive or am I always going to be a Shotgun Rider? " He said placing a kiss on her lips. "In your dreams Halstead." She said grinning as she returned a deeper kiss, both stumbling further into his apartment, closing the door behind them.
No I don't ever want to wake up,
Lookin' into someone else's eyes
Another Voice calling me baby
On the other end of the phone
A new girl puttin' on her makeup
Before dinner on Friday night
No I don't ever wanna know, Oh O
No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin' to the radio, Woohoo Oh O
No other shotgun rider, Oh O
Singin' to the radio, Oh O
You're my shotgun rider.