Why, Why, Why.

That's why.

Sorry, I can't think of a reason why I decided to write this, I guess I just needed a bit of a break from the other fics. Though I will be continuing them all, of course. Apart from Akatsuki Childhood's...That's just...Ugh.

So anyway, I know "Akatsuki Band" How original, right? Note the sarcasm. I'm just going to tell you now, that this won't be another Akatsuki Band fics, It's going to be rather different...Well, hopefully.

But hey, Akatsuki Band fics are cool, right?

I think they are U.U

Don't ask about the title either...P-Please...

So anyway, I hope you enjoy^^

Please review!^^

Deidara's POV

"You know these people?"

My boss, Mr. Kazuo, pointed towards a large poster stuck to the wall. I nodded in reply, smiling.
"Who doesn't, un? Those guys are like..." I paused for a moment, numerous words flooding through my brain. "The best band in the world!"
"I wouldn't go that far. They're popular though; Or used to be."

Mr. Kazuo continued blabbering away, and before I knew it, I was lost in thought. I smiled at the poster dreamily; The Akatsuki. They were my favourite band when I was about 13. Major metal-heads, but boy could they make music.

They disappeared a few years ago. Well, not literally. According to a news article, the lead-singer, Pain, fell into a great depression, and no longer wanted to sing. The band took a break for a while, and during that time, they had become severely fucked up.
The lead bass player, Kisame Hoshigaki, had become a serious alcoholic. Most of them were probably alcoholics, but this guy was insane. He was arrested for smashing a bottle round a photographer's head. The guy was a nut case, and over 6-feet tall.
Then, There was the drummer, Hidan. No-one knew his second name; He was one of those "cool guys" who only liked to be known by their first-name. Now, this guy was always pretty insane. He chewed off a kitten's head on live TV; Ozzie Osborne had nothing on this guy. Anyway, Hidan was sent away for a long, long break with the band's financial manager, and was never seen since.

I knew nothing about the others. The Akatsuki just stopped making music. I guess you could call it retirement, they were all stinking rich by that time, so who could blame them?

It was only until now, when I had seen their name come up in the papers.

"Oi, Iwa!"

My attention quickly snapped towards my boss, and I raised an eyebrow.
"Were you even listening to me?" He snapped, glaring slightly. I shook my head, staring at him innocently. Mr. Kazuo let out a heavy sigh, and pointed towards the poster.

"The Akatsuki are performing a gig; For the first time in 10 years."

I continued staring at Mr. Kazuo, blinking a few times.
"S-Say what, un...?"
"I think you heard me the first time."

I let out a cry of disbelief, standing up, and fist-pumping into the air.
"Calm down, idiot!" My boss cried, pushing me back into my chair, cutting my celebration short.
"B-But I have to buy tickets!" I whined, spinning myself around on the chair a few times.

Mr. Kazuo growled, slamming his hand down on the chair to stop it spinning.
"Listen; You're the best journalist we have here." He began, his eyes narrowing.
"Why thank you, un." I smirked, crossing my arms.
"We're going to be hosting the gig; Which means we're gonna be designing t-shirts, banners, merchandise, you name it!" He continued, sitting himself back down into his large, leather recliner.

My heart began beating quickly, and I grinned, leaning forward.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Our company had been hosting events like these for years, but never had we had a band as cool as The Akatsuki!

"But that may not be happening at all."

My heart stopped dancing, and began beating at It's normal, boring rate; If not, lower.
"W-What...?" I groaned, tilting my head.
"You're a fan of them, so as you probably know now, The Akatsuki are a fucking mess. Why'd you think the managers let us host this gig? You probably know most of the members better than me, so I want you to do something very, very important..."

Just get to the fucking point, old man!

"Now, some of the members are perfectly fine. I heard Itachi Uchiha advertises shampoo now...But as we all know, some of them are not. Unless we want no-one showing up to the gig, we need to get them back into shape. Kisame Hoshigaki is already undergoing help, and Hidan has regular appointments with a top-class therapist. Pain is pretty much back to his usual self, and is now back with his girlfriend. Tobi's his usual self too."
"So what exactly do you need help with, un...?"

Mr. Kazuo paused for a second, and began rummaging underneath his desk. Shortly after, he resurfaced, placing a large box full of DVDs and videos.
"Sasori Akasuna, lead guitarist of The Akatsuki. You know him, right?"
I smirked. "Who doesn't?".
"Right. Well, as you know then, the kid's a complete mess. We've offered him all the help he needs, but he just wont accept it. In fact, I was talking to him last night on the telephone. I asked him if he could ask anyone from our company for help, who would it be..." Mr. Kazuo faded out, looking down into the box.
"And...?"
"And he answered 'The pretty blonde one, Deidara Iwa'. The little bastard had stolen the employee files a few months ago, and obviously had quite a fun time going through all the pictures. In other words, Sasori Akasuna has specifically asked for you to help him being such a mess."

I almost fell out of my chair.

This could not be happening. I was dreaming. This was just a sick joke Mr. Kazuo was playing on me.

"Y-You're kidding...Right?" I stuttered, too shocked to spin my chair around any more.
Mr. Kazuo shook his head. "Afraid not. You're meeting him tomorrow morning at the airport, 8 am, don't be late. He's going to be staying with you until the gig. Those were his orders. Just to know what you're in for, I suggest that you watch these videos of his previous interviews, when The Akatsuki were still big. At least then you'll have an idea of how...You need to help him."

I stood up slowly, not really knowing what to say. Sasori Akasuna, staying in my apartment? Spending time with me? Besides that, how on earth was I suppose to help him, I looked like anything but a therapist. At the moment, I looked a bit like a hungover Barbie. Except much more fabulous and amazing, of course.

"I suggest you get going now. Watch those videos, and clean up your shit-hole of an apartment. Yes?" Mr. Kazuo smiled, shifting the box towards me. I grumbled, standing up, and picking up the box.

In the process of this, I almost lost my arms.

"Oh, and Iwa?"

I turned around towards my boss, raising an eyebrow.
"If you fuck this up, you're fired."
"Thanks...I'll keep that in mind, un." I replied, grumbling under my breath.

Now; Where do I begin?

Later, Deidara's POV

After cleaning my entire apartment, or in my words, kicking a few piles of clothes under the bed, I sat myself down on the sofa, hugging a pillow.
When The Akatsuki had stopped making music, Sasori Akasuna was hit by the public, big time. Whilst The Akatsuki were still at the top of the charts, they could get away with anything. I'm not kidding, in every damn interview, the red-head was high off his face. As soon as it got out that the band were no longer making music, Sasori was pummeled by the paparazzi, and every article about him was bad.

The guy was anything but a role-model; And that's what I was suppose to make him.

Deciding that it was now time to become educated in the world of Sasori, I picked up my remote, and pressed play.

A man with fancy hair, and an expensive-looking suit was sat on a sofa. Opposite him, was none other than Sasori Akasuna. He looked extremely thin, and was wearing a pair of black, skinny-jeans, and a baggy blue jumper. Despite this, a large smile was plastered onto his face.

"So, Sasori, I heard you were spotted outside a restauant with your band's ex-manager, is that true?" The man asked, leaning forward in interest.
The red-head giggled, waving his hand slightly. "It may have been..." He teased, smiling.
"So what is the current relationship between you, and your ex-manager, Orochimaru?"
"W-We're..." Sasori paused for a moment, smiling at the audience, then shortly turning back towards the man. "You tell me."
"Well, I wouldn't know..." The man replied, tilting his head.

Sasori chuckled, and shifted closer towards the man, leaning against his shoulder. The red-head was clearly high, but no-one seemed to care.
"Let's just say..." Sasori paused, maintaining eye-contact with the man in a flirtatious way. "We're good friends...".
"This picture says otherwise..." The man chuckled.

On the screen, an enlarged picture came up, featuring Sasori being pinned against the wall by a tall, black-haired man, currently engaged in a full-on game of tonsil-hockey. I grimaced at the sight, I'm surprised the red-head even had time for a creep like him. Maybe the guy had a good personality?

The picture then disappeared, and Sasori came back into view.

"That was unexpected..." He chuckled, taking a sip of water.
"Does this mean you two are in a relationship?" The man grinned.

Just as the man said that, Sasori leaned forward, grabbing the man's tie, and enclosing the gap between them. The crowd in the background let out a scream, and numerous wolf-whistles could be heard. A few seconds later, Sasori pulled away, looking flushed. The man looked completely baffled, and was bright red.

"May I ask what that was for?" He asked, smirking slightly.
"Does this mean us two are in a relationship?" The red-head replied, tilting his head.

A row of laughter could be heard, followed by an applause, and the scene soon cut to a break.

I raised an eyebrow, checking the date of the video. It had been filmed 13 years ago. Sasori was only around 20 then, but still looked young for his age, around 15. Now, he must be in his mid-thirties. I smirked, imagining what a mess he probably looked now, compared to the, let's face it, stunning red-head in the video.

Another problem with Sasori. The red-head often used his looks to get whoever the hell he desired, hence the video. I had hundreds of articles about numerous celebrities the man had been caught sleeping with, and how many hearts he had broken. I guess that's just the life of a rock star.

Yawning slightly, I switched the video to an earlier one. About 11 years old.

The scene appeared to be set on another talk-show. Sasori was positioned on a comfy-looking sofa, in the arms of a large, muscular man. I think he was a drummer of some other band or something. Compared to this guy, the red-head looked absolutely tiny. I had heard that Sasori wasn't the tallest of people, and I still had yet to find out about that, but even this was ridiculous.

Once again, the red-head looked extremely thin, much thinner than in the video before. This was one of the main results of drug and alcohol abuse. Unlike in the video before though, Sasori was supporting a large bruise on his left cheek-bone, which was poorly hidden by make-up. His nose looked red, as if he was just recovering from a bad cold, and he seemed a lot more jittery, shaking almost.

"So, how long have you been together now? 2 months?" The woman in the video asked, smiling at the couple.
"About that long." The muscular man nodded, smiling down at the red-head, in an almost sadistic way. Sasori smiled weakly, nodding.
"Well you two make a great couple!" The woman exclaimed, smiling.
"We do, don't we?" The man replied, running a hand through his hair.
"No fights, no arguments...?"
"None at all." The man grinned.

When the man had said that, I noticed Sasori flinch slightly. He wasn't the same person in the video before. He was slowly changing.

I bit my lip, reaching for a newer video.

Inspector Deidara, let your mission begin.

Ah, ok! So that's the first chapter done! We will be meeting Sasori in the next!

So what did you think? Any questions?

Yes, OroSaso...I-It's like...Some sort of sadistic relationship I must include...I don't know what's coming over me.

If you wanted to know what it meant by "He chewed off a kitten's head on live TV; Ozzie Osborne had nothing on this guy." Ozzie Osborne chewed off the head of a live bat on-stage. That's all really XD

So yeah, Sasori's a little crack-whore...Well, used to be. Let's just hope he's changed now.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, please review!^^