Diary of the (In)Famous Sirius Black
Want to see the world of Hogwarts through Sirius' eyes? Come along for a journey of laughter, craziness and experience the MWPP 7th year.

Chapter 1: Padfoot's Diary

Hello all! Yes I know I am suppossed to be editing 'Trapped' so I can get it back up, but I felt I needed to write this as I found the idea pretty funny.

Disclamer: I own nothing, not the characters, and I doubt even the plot, others have probabley done this plot line too, but I needed to try it. Also I don't own Barney . . (who is in this chapter . . . don't ask why until you read it!)

December 25th 1978 12:l4 and 12 seconds
Guess what Dumbledore got me for Christmas? A diary! First of all, it's brillant, how many other students get presents from Dumbledore? although there was a funny note attached that said something about hoping this would keep me out of trouble. Second of all, Prongs has deserted me lately for Miss Evans, meaning I haven't pranked in a long time! This is where you come in, you are to be my pranking mate. You do need a name though, I can't just call you 'you' all the time now can I? I just need to think about it for a while. I'll get back to you, you.

December 25th 1978 12:14 and 34 seconds
Guess what, You, I give up, it took way to much brain effort to think up a name, so I now Christen you, You. Wormtail is looking at me funny, maybe that's because I justed bowed to you. Nah, I think I must have broccoli in my teeth.

December 25th 1978 12:14 and 54 seconds
Okay I am bored, Prongs is out somewhere, most likely in the Room of Requirement snogging Miss Evans, here on in known as 'The Evil One'. Moony is "visiting his mom again," meaning he's in the hospital wing moaning for the cute nurse to rub his back. Wormtail has given up watching me write in my journal and decided to do his Astronomy homework. So now it's up to you to entertain me You! Come on, don't just sit there. Do something, act like a squid or something. You're depressing.

December 25th 1978 12:15 and 23 seconds
I'm sorry I chucked you against the wall, You. What was I suppossed to do? You didn't entertain me! But then I was so bored I had to forgive you, You. Oh, look Prongs is finally back from snogging 'The Evil One', he's looking at me funny, maybe because I curled up into the fetal postion.

December 26th 1978 16:54 and 23 seconds
Oh, You, I'm sorry I haven't written in over a day, but you have understand, I met this girl, and she is so hot. She's some new student, she transfered here from Drumstang. All day I've been thinking about how to get her into a broom closet to snog her. Her name is Erin Wakelezk, and I tell you, You, she is one in a million, I met her yesterday at dinner, she said something about me being an idiot but I missed it because I was to busy drooling into my pumpkin juice. Prongs was laughing so hard, The Evil One had to kiss him to make him shut up. I will now start a list of ways to get her into a closet. Why a list you ask, You? Because lists are the in thing right now, along with snogging hot chicks in broom closets. Okay You, I'm starting now. Are you ready for this?
Sirius Black's Top Ten Ways To Get Erin Wakelezk Into A Closet To Snog Her Senseless (Catchy title huh? I call it SBTTWTGEWIACTSHS, for short. You can stop bowing now, You.)
1)Tell her she is extremely hot, she falls for me, and we hop into the nearest closet (I can dream can't I? After all, I am Sirius Black).
2)It involves a dental floss, chocolate, and a purple dinosaur muggles call Barney. Do not ask.
3)Put butter in the hall, she slips, and slides into the closet and voilà! Let the snogging begin.
4)Steal her teddy bear and put it in closet then get in closet. She comes looking for teddy bear and finds me!
5)Give up writing Top Ten list at five and go to bed.

December 31st 1978 14:34 and 54 seconds
Ok You, this is how it goes. Today is the last day of the 1978, after that it is 1979, my offical grad year. Pretty nifty, eh? But forget about grad, right now, we are concentrating on New Year's Eve, aka tonight, the night I get to snog Erin Wakelezk senseless. I was going to make up another list, but, apparently, Erin doesn't like lists, so they have to go. Anyway here's how it goes; we count down, "Five! Four!" I draw her close, "Three! Two!" Prongs casts a spell, all the lights go off. "One! Happy" Snogging, "New Year!" It is simple! Then, by the time Dumbledore gets the lights back on, Erin and I are on our way to the Astronomy tower. Which, may I point out, is the place to snog. Well, I am off to shower, I can't snog "smelling like the giant squid," as The Evil One puts it. I am sirius-ly (I crack myself up!) starting to think that The Evil One has something for the giant squid, first she'd rather go out with it than Prongs (look at her now, I might add), now she claims I smell like the squid. What is with that girl anyways?

December 31st 1978 22:43 and 45 seconds
I am freaking out! I never freak out over a girl! You know what, You, I think she may actually be The One. Scary, ain't it?! Can you see me, of all people, settling down with someone? Prongs says it's time to get going down to the New Year's Party. I think I'm going to wet myself. Gah! Here I am, a seventh year Gryffindor and I can't even go down to a New Year's party just because there is a hot girl there. Well, I'm going now. . .Stop laughing, Prongs, yes, yes I should really read Hogwarts, A History, apparently you can not Apparate or Disapparate on Hogwarts grounds. Leaving to walk now!

Decem- January 1st 1979 1:16 and 43 seconds
Well, tonight (Okay technically it was yesterday night/this morning, I'll just say New Year's) did not go as planned at all. First Prongs (the genius) was so into The Evil One that he forgot to turn the lights out. Resulting in me (attempting to snog) falling into Dumbledore's lime green jello, which stuck on my face. Erin thought this was hilarious and had to be calmed down by McGonagall, she was laughing so hard. So, what do you think of my chances of getting her into a closet are now?

January 3rd 1979 21:35 and 34 seconds
I can't talk for long, we are staging a prank against the Slytherins, and I have to get into my position soon. You want to know what the prank is don't you, You? Well, I'm sorry, I can't tell you. Top secret Maurader buisness. Don't look at me like that, You, you know I hate it when you pout. Fine, we are sneaking into Slytherin common room and putting a spell on Snape so that all he can put on is hot pink lingerie. Laugh if you want, You, yes I admit it's a bit childish, but it will still be funny! Imagine Snivelous walking around Hogwarts in a hot pink thong tomorrow! Come on, it's funny! Well, I am off now, You, Prong just got back from snogging The Evil One and says that he 'is missing good snogging time to do this' and that he 'want's to get back to Lily-Flower as soon as possible'. Excuse me while I go and hurl.

January 4th 1979 16:10 and 54 seconds
Oh man! It was hilarious at breakfast this morning. Of course Snape showed up in nothing but a pink thong, and got some of the weridest looks, Prof Artcie, the Slytherin head of house, had to send him to Madam Pomfery to figure out what spell had been used! Of course everyone knew who it was, but Dumbledore just looked at us and smiled.

Ok all! . . I am just wait on my editor, to recheck before I can get Trapped up again. Anyways . . . I'm off . . .I'm not sure about anymore chapters for this story . . .Ideas are welcome, as are reviews! Merry Christmas to all! (And to all a good night!) And a big shout out to my editors (because I really need them!) Flick and Squish!!!! Thanks tons Ladies!

-clothespegrules