Star-Crossed Hearts
A Twilight fan-fiction. All rights reserved to the lovely Stephenie Meyers
Prologue
Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do.
Sometimes we really don't have a choice.
Sometimes I would really like to meet whomever came up with those ridiculous excuses and punch him in the face.
There is always a choice, even if we don't immediately notice it.
On nights like these I stare up into the stars and wonder how exactly I got here...how I made it this far.
It was my fault. I know.
My choices led to my situation...but at this point, I could really care less.
Up there in that dark abyss, I can see the three great stars that form a line in the sky. Bright, straight, and permanent is this formation. They never change positions; only our ever-spinning world changes her view of them.
"Orion's Belt" is what he said they were called.
Him.
It's silly how little dots of lights in the sky could make me think of him.
But lately everything seems to remind me of him.
Was he really real? Or was everything that happened just a dream?
I know. I know. How introspective I sound!
But that's how I've always been.
My mom says I have an old soul full of wisdom, with a heart of a child.
That's my problem. When I love, I give my everything. I serve my heart on a platter, completely bared for the receiver to do as he pleases. Rosalie says I'm just too innocent to know the consequences...but she's wrong, I do know the consequences.
Until him, I never gave my heart to anyone.
My old soul would always rationalize a plethora of reasons for rejection. If a man showed interest in me, my mind would suddenly rush to find something to scrutinize. If I couldn't find anything, I would let myself slowly start to fall for him. Then, without warning, I would wake up to reality. I would notice my guard lowering, so I would do what any insecure and scared woman naturally does: I would instantly doubt myself. I would think I wasn't worthy enough for him, nit pick at my appearance or make up flaws, and then avoid him in order to hide these "flaws" from him.
This is the point where I wish I could chastise my overly active imagination...I would, (and this is really pointless, I know) make myself actually believe that if he really cared for me, he would be stubborn enough to pursue me and somehow know to tell me that I was worthy of him!
How incredibly ridiculous of me.
But that's what I would do.
And you know what?
Every man would do what a man thinks is the natural and respectful thing to do: he would what we call 'take a hint' and believe I no longer cared for him, so he would respect 'my wishes' and leave me alone.
And my heart would be cracked and full of disappointment in both him and myself.
Once again, I would avoid a broken heart. An injured heart, but nonetheless, it is safer than a shattered heart...yet it still hurts.
No one would ever notice my disappointment. I've found that people appreciate a temperament of happiness more than having to tolerate of temperament of bitter complaining and needy advise-seeking. That's why I'm adored by all. I smile and laugh and never let anything phase me. Friends seek my advise, my open arms for a comforting embrace, or a shoulder to cry on. I have no problems so I spend my life selflessly aiding others.
At least, that's my reputation.
My name is Bella Juliet Swan and I honestly do have problems just like anyone else. I only choose to quickly be done with them and withdraw back into my imagination of a world in which those smiles on my face are always genuine and I don't have to guard my heart. Into a world where I'm not afraid of hurting another's feelings just by expressing my honest opinion instead of staying silent. A world where I can ride all day long and feel the wind in my hair and the sun enveloping me in a blanket of warmth. A world where I can dance all night in the arms of my true love and kiss passionately in front of those who oppose our love. A world that once could be have been real, but now only exists as a memory for me to endlessly enjoy and revisit. A world that I once shared with him.
Him.
Edward Romeo Cullen.
The man who I chose to give my heart to.
And the man who shattered it forever.