How The Creature Stole Christmas
Everyone down in Snowville liked Christmas a lot.
But the creature who lived above Snowville did not.
It hated the thing, the whole rotten season.
Now, listen close and I'll tell you the reason.
It hated the snow and it hated the lights.
And it hated the fact that they were so bright.
Its eyes were made for the darkness you see.
So it could snatch up young children just like you and me.
But, whatever the reason, it's teeth, eyes or it's claws.
It stood there on Christmas Eve, hating them all.
Staring down from it's cave with a sour, evil frown.
At the warm lighted windows below in the town.
For it knew everyone down in Snowville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" it snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then it growled, with his wicked fingers nervously drumming.
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, it knew. All the girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
But what would happen if instead of some toys,
They found themselves all wrapped up every girl and boy.
And dragged from their homes all beaten and bloody…
Oh, the blood! Oh, the Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood!
That's one thing it loved!
The BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!
Then back to its cave to sit down to a feast.
And it'd feast! And it'd feast!
And it'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
It would feast on their eyes and their soft chewy skin,
And laugh while they screamed as it bit into them.
And THEN
It'd do something,
It liked best of all!
For every child left from Snowville, that it'd yet to eat.
It would stand them close together, with fear in their eyes.
And rip out their tongues and listen to their cries!
They'd cry! And they'd cry!
And they'd CRY! CRY! CRY! CRY!
And the more it thought of this wonderful plan.
The more it thought, 'I will kill everyone, every woman, child and man!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! ...And I know HOW!"
Then it got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE CREATURE,
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" it laughed in his throat.
And it made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And it chuckled, and clucked, "What a great evil trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..."
The creature looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old creature...?
NO! The creature simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So it called his wolf, Max. Then it took some red thread,
And it tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN
He loaded some bags,
And some old empty sacks.
On a ramshackle sleigh,
And he hitched up old Max.
Then the creature said, "Giddap!"
And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the people,
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark, quiet snow filled the air.
All the people were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When it came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Creature Claus hissed,
And it climbed to the roof, empty bags in its fist.
Then it slid down the chimney. A rather tight fit.
But, if Santa could manage, then so too could it.
It got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then it stuck its head out of the fireplace flue,
Where the little stockings all hung in a row.
"The children's blood," it grinned, "will be the first thing to flow!"
Then it slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Into the child's room, and not at all hesitant!
It looked around at the pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! And drums! Checkerboards!
Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
But went straight to the child and stuffed him in a bag so very nimbly,
Before going back to the main room and stuffing the bag up the chimney!
Then it slunk to the next room. It took the next kid!
It even took the new baby! Oh yes it did!
It cleaned out that house as quick as a flash.
Why, that creature even took their last can of hash!
Then he stuffed all up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the creature, "I will piss on the tree!"
And the creature grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He tuned around fast, and he saw a small girl!
Little Cindy-Lou, her hair in blond curls.
The creature had been caught by this tiny little daughter,
Who'd been asleep with her parents and got up for some water.
She stared at the creature and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old creature was so smart and so slick,
It thought up a lie, and it thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And its fib fooled the child. Then it ripped off her head,
And it sucked the juice from her spine and she was certainly dead.
And when Cindy-Lou stopped twitching, it drunk some of her blood from a cup,
And then went over to the chimney and threw her head up.
Then the last thing it took,
Was the log for their fire!
Then it went up the chimney, itself, thinking it had done good.
On their walls it left nothing but their daughter's smeared blood.
And the one speck of food,
That it left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then it did the same thing,
To the other houses,
Leaving crumbs Much too small,
For all the other mouses!
It was quarter past dawn...
All the adults still a-bed,
All the adults, still a-snooze.
When it packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their children!
Dreaming of the feast it'd have,
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-Pooh to them all!" he was evilly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
"Then the people down in Snowville will all cry BOO-HOO!
"That's a noise," grinned the creature,
"That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the creature put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
It started as a cry that grew into a scream,
And it smiled to itself because it was just like a pleasant dream.
"Why, this is so great," it said sounding merry!
And its thoughts turned to its feast, of cutting open their bellies.
It turned away now from Snowville,
And went back its sleigh.
And dragged the sacks of children out of the way.
Into its cave he threw them at the wall,
And couldn't wait to start eating them all.
Everyone down in Snowville, couldn't believe their eyes,
They were shouting and screaming in horror and surprise!
It HAD stopped Christmas from coming!
IT FINALLY HAD!
And just in time too for one more Christmas and it'd have gone mad!
And the creature, with his clawed-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood smiling and smiling: "Its time now to go!"
And it went into its cave and sat down to eat.
It'd start with a hand or maybe some feet.
It smiled at the squirming bags all piled against the walls
And listened to the children making cries and calls!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Snowville they say,
That the creature ate them all,
Ate them all in one day!
And the minute its stomach felt so full and tight,
It wizzed from its cave through the bright morning light.
And called "My what a feast!"
And it... IT ITSELF...!
It even ate their teeth.