Preface
I had never known what love felt like. My friends tell me you feel warm and happy, like you and the one you love are the only people in the room. You want to be with that person for as long as you live, no matter what. Love, can also be deceitful.
I am a victim of love. I never believed love was possible. I knew you could have feelings for someone, but you never truly understand how strong you can feel for someone until you experience love. It's always been a mystery to me. How could I ever be so vulnerable by someone I loved? Nothing compares to it. I got caught too deep in a relationship that would be so complicated that even I couldn't handle it. I thought it was a game that you can choose to play. But I was wrong, the game chooses you.
There are often songs or poems written about love. There are even books. Some are about medieval love, some about modern love. Others are forbidden love, mythical creatures and fantasy and unconditional romance that never seem real. But it's real to me.
I often thought about him, when he left. He would leave periodically, leaving barely a trace of where he was going. He never really told me what was behind that door, but I did get a glimpse once. It was dark. Not just dark, but pure blackness. He would run into the dark and disappear completely. Once, while lying in his bed, under the warm sheets, I could hear a scream, and I knew it was him.
Some nights, when he left, I would cry. I would still feel the warmth of his kiss, his soft hand caressing my cheek. He was there a moment, and gone the next. I would look outside and see snow outside his window. It only reminded me of how much I missed summertime. How I missed jumping in the lake, driving to a "beach" or whatever people in Minnesota call it. And then I would see shadows, just standing there with the snow barely hitting their shoulders. I knew it was them. They were watching me.
Then my eyes would drift back to the closet. The gold knob was just sitting there, untouched. I had a sudden impulse to open the door. I wanted to run into the darkness and find him and scream "I love you!" to him. All I wanted was for him to hold me and kiss me, with his mint breathe breathing on my lips, sending a chill down my spine. I guess love can make you insane.
Two years ago, I could never forgive my parents for moving to Minnesota. My life in Florida was incredible. And now it's gone. Now, I couldn't thank them enough. They gave me a chance at love, and a family of my own.
I was still lying there, waiting. I missed him. I loved him more than anything on this earth. More than my own life. I need him more than he needs me. I started crying, then pulled myself together because I felt like such a baby. I could hear a tiny noise, faint breathing beside me. It made me feel calm, and reminded me that I knew he was coming back.
Every time he left, I felt like I wouldn't see him again. It hurt me to think about it, though he promised me every time he would return. Just as my melancholy attitude set it, the golden doorknob twisted, and there he was.