CHAPTER 1
I want to make it work
I do
I just don't know if we can
You're just too awkward
"Just too awkward..." these are the last few words I heard as I walked away from her, disappearing into the crowds of people circulating the shopping mall we were in.
I looked back, she couldn't see me but I could see her; she was just standing there, tears streaming down her face, staring into the crowd that I was hiding in before turning around and making her way towards the exit of the mall.
How did this happen? What did she mean I was too awkward? I'm the same person I was when she met me, she knew what she was getting herself into. I told her I don't date for this specific reason; I don't know how. I never had a boyfriend, I certainly never had a girlfriend. I don't even think I realized I was gay until I met her. But now looking at myself in a shop window I couldn't look more gay, I screamed gay...well stereotypical gay anyways.
While scrutinizing myself in the reflection of the shop window a person bumped right into me, nearly knocking me to the floor. He uttered a quick sorry and continued to rush off again. "Watch where you're going next time' I muttered to myself, straightening myself up before heading off down the way the man went. I took a quick look outside and thought better of it, ugh rain! Perfect.
Instead I went up the escalator and took a seat on one of the benches.
I sat there for a good while until a couple came and sat beside me, it was a guy and a girl.
The girl was talking to him about some celebrity TV show she had watched while he sat playing with his phone, clearly uninterested.
Emily was always interested in me. She hated when people would call her when we were together.
I of course agreed. My time with Emily was precious, especially now, when I might not ever get another minute with my girlfriend again. No Naomi, get a hold of yourself. She's your ex-girlfriend she just broke up with you remember, you're awkward, she doesn't want you, you don't make her happy anymore.
But I used to.