1

Lacey

Gone

Life is crammed with unanswered questions. Sometimes I question myself on who I really am. What exactly is my purpose? To everyone else I'm Lacey Porter, fun, popular, and perfect. And although it's a complete lie, I've worked so hard to keep up the appearance. I like to let them believe what they want about me; but sometimes I catch myself wondering what if they really knew the real Lacey Porter. Would they treat me any different?

I am afraid. Deep down I am breaking with everything within me. My heart is screaming. I don't need saving. I don't need people to look at me with pitiful eyes. I refuse to become a poor Lacey, that is just not who I am. I have to stay strong. I pretend that I am not hurt; I walk about Green Grove like I'm having fun. I've told myself now and then that I can't expect to be happy all the time because life is not about being happy. I can choose to spend my life self-pitying in despair, doubting why I was the chosen one who is guided to the road dispersed with pain, or else I can just be appreciative that I am willing enough to endure it.

I'm at the stage of my life where other people's opinions don't really matter because it can amend in heartbeat. But then why am I so terrified of showing them the real me. I loathe that I am forced to heed to their judgments. In all truthfulness I can care less of what these individuals believe. Who died and made them king?

Then again I must keep up appearances for him or he will send me away. He doesn't care if I my heart is viscous with sorrowfulness. Green Grove will continuously be more notable to him than his own daughter. I hope one day I can learn to devote myself solely to the people who truly care for me.

Besides, I can't just go away. I couldn't bring myself to do that to someone I declared to love. With no explanation…just gone like the wind. I couldn't leave my mom and sister… just like he left me a year ago.

He said it was over…he loved more than life itself…he said he put me in too much in danger…he told me to move on…

…he never really asked me what I wanted.

I begged him to stay. I told him to remember our love. I told him if he leaves I would never forgive him. I told him I needed him. I am nothing without him.

He said it was over. He told me to leave.

I told him I hated him. I told him I didn't need him. When he left, a piece of me died.

I loved him. I needed him. He was the only one for me. He was my sun.

He took my heart with him. He once told me that the world was built for two, and it was worth living as long as I loved him. But sometimes love is not enough.

"...what can I do, life is beautiful but you don't have a clue," I silently sing Lana Del Rey's Black Beauty as I brush my long black wavy hair.

"Thank you, you've all been so lovely," I slowly bow while blowing kisses to my invisible fans. I squeal in excitement as I drop myself on my bed. My love for the words and music has aroused my passion for singing. Music is the only way that I can truly love myself enough. Music is the only way that I would ever cry.

"Lacey, come down here now or you're going to be late!" I hear my mother yelling from the hallway.

"I'm almost done mom!"

"Lace I really don't want you to miss breakfast on the first day of school," my mom says.

I quickly sprint off my bed and I seize my clothes out my closet. I decide to wear my sunflower dress and my black combat boots. To top it off I add my black leather jacket. I dash to my bathroom mirror and I start by applying very dim makeup. I despise wearing too much makeup; I like to let my skin be as natural as possible so it glows healthy.

As I start putting lip gloss my hands start shaking, oh crap. It has been a month since I've seen Archie Yates my ex-boyfriend. His name strikes me hard; I've tried so hard to forget that name after it happened this summer. I try to hold back the tears but they come trickling down so swift. I grab the bathroom sink and settle myself on the bathroom floor.

How could he...no one can know…no one would believe me...it's all my fault…I never should have believed him…he said he would never hurt me…he would always protect me…he lied.. I can't believe Archie—

"Lacey sweetie I thought you were almost done, your breakfast is going to get cold!" I was snapped by to reality when I heard my mother's voice a second time.

"I'll be right there mom!" I call down, hoping I can reapply my makeup so it can conceal my tears. I halt in front the mirror so I can attempt making fake beaming expressions that would be convincing.

"Hurry I want to take a picture of what my little fashionista is wearing on the first day of her senior year!"

"Wait, just a minute mom!"

I quickly put my diamond earrings and the half heart necklace that my sister Clara gave me for Christmas. I make sure to wear that necklace every day because Clara wears the other half of the heart. My sister means the world to me, without her or my mom there would be no Lace. Lace is who I really am; chameleon soul with no set personality just an internal indefiniteness.

I find my mom standing in the kitchen, preparing my dad's lunch. She quickly runs up to me with a hug. I bury my head on her shoulders. Don't cry Lacey don't, I try to reassure myself.

"You look so beautiful baby! I made your favorite breakfast, bacon eggs and pancakes, just the way you like them" my mother gushes as she kisses my forehead.

"You're the best, I love you" I say looking around for my sister. "Where's Clara?"

"I love you too sweetie, and oh she's in the dining room."

"Is her care taker here yet?"

"His name is Chase, he'll be here in an hour actually. Your dad insisted that we chose him actually."

"Did you tell him that Clara doesn't like mushrooms, she doesn't like the crust on her bread, she is lactose intolerant, and she-

"Sweetie slow down and take a deep breath. I told him everything, and I even wrote it down for him, and don't forget that I'm here."

"Okay great," I say, heading down to the dining room.

"Not so fast missy, we have pictures to take!"

"Oh darn I almost forgot," I say giving my mom a mischievous smile.

"Of course you did my pretty little liar," my mom says while giggling.

After my mom snapped many pictures, we headed down to the dining room.

Clara is sitting down at the table in her wheelchair, busily eating her breakfast. Clara is sixteen years old. She is one the strongest people that I have ever met in my life. She doesn't let the fact that she may never walk again get to her. Clara was hit by a drunk driver while driving from gymnastic practice with my dad two months ago. She was paralyze from the waist down, and almost died. I remember that day like it was just yesterday. I can feel my eyes getting watery and I quickly wipe the tears away because I just can't let Clara see me like this, I have to be strong for my Clare bear.

My sister's live was forever changed. She couldn't do gymnastics anymore, she couldn't go to school anymore, she was stuck on home with doctors and nurses entering and leaving her life. My mother gave up her job as a top CEO at her fashion empire so she could take care of Clara, even if she had Chase who was now looking over her. I admire my mother for that because to her family is always first.

One of the things that I do is to make sure that my sister is still able to get her teenage experience by taking her to the mall, movies, the beach, and gossip about the latest drama in Hollywood. She also has the biggest crush on Zayn Malik from One Direction and possibly my best friend Rico but she's too stubborn to admit that.

"Hey Clare bear," I say, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. "It's the first day of senior year. Wish me luck! Oh mom can you please take a picture of me and Clara!"

"Oh, that's a great idea Lace!" My mom snapped a bunch of pictures of me and Clara's silly, smiling, and serious faces.

"I have to download these now, my mom says as the runs out the kitchen gushing over our pictures.

"It's Mrs. Malik to you, he finally proposed Lace, and you don't need luck, your queen," Clara says as she squeezes my hand.

I laugh and I fold myself in her arms, careful that she doesn't slip off her chair. I love it when my mom and Clara sister call me Lace because it's a way for me to know that they still love me. "You always know the right thing to say."

"Of course Lace, I'm queen too."

"Mrs. Malik you are too much."

"That's what Zayn said when he proposed."

"What will Rico think?"

"Lace stop I don't like Rico, were just friends."

"Yes two friends who are totally obsess with each other, but too scared to admit they like each other."

"Rico is my friend."

"With benefits…"

"Lace shut up!"

We both laugh loudly. My mother walks in the kitchen setting my breakfast down in front of me.

"What are you two giggling about?"

"Clara still thinks that Zayn proposed to her, and she won't admit that she likes Rico" I say while giggling.

"Because he did mom, he finally put a ring on it!" Clara says all proudly. "And I don't like Rico for the millionth time!"

My mom starts laughing hysterically. "Clara you and Rico are so adorable together though!"

I fall out of my chair laughing hysterically.

"Mom, you're supposed to be on my side!"

"Okay that's enough you two, now Lace hurry up or you'll be late."

"Okay mom," I say while sticking my tongue out at Clara. She starts giggling and sticks out her tongue right back at me.

"Lacey what the hell are you still doing here! I swear you are so irresponsible, and senseless it's the first day of school and you're already running late, this would have never happened if you didn't break up with that nice boy Archie. He would have picked you up on time. Keep making bad choices Lacey." my dad howls as he's entering the room. After the accident my dad started drinking a lot. He started sneaking around the house to answer late phone calls from "work." He would be gone for weeks, and never make any effort to call his family.

I start to feel my eyes water. I notice Clara is staring at me. I feel hopeless.

"Dad it isn't her fault, why do you have to bring that jerk Archie in everything," Clara says, moving her wheelchair next me so she can hold my hand. "If you like Archie so much why didn't you go out with him instead? I don't understand why you're so obsess with him. Lacey is your—"

"Clara Porter you better shut your mouth if you know what is best for you," my father screams out. "As a matter of fact you should be respecting me for busting my ass to get these medical bills paid."

He did not just say that. He knows that Clara blames herself for all the chaos that has been going on in this house these past few months.

My mom walks over to my father's face. "Samuel I think you have lost your mind, you will not ever talk or scream at my daughters in that way ever again, do you understand me," my mother says.

"Judy you better get out of my face, I am their father and I will speak to them the way that I please, I supply for them anyways, I work you don't. You're the one that lost your mind when you thought it was just okay to quit your job," my father retaliates back.

My mother takes a deep breath and walks over to my chair and places her hands on my shoulder. "All I know is that you will not speak to me or my daughters like this."

My father starts brawl his fist, and before he could say anything I scream out, "Mom it's alright, I should probably go."

"I really don't need this shit right now," my father screams and he walks out the house. Seconds later I could hear his car screeching away. It only takes my father to ruin the good energy in the room. Samuel Porter the control freak who is barely at home. I could tell that my mother was holding back her tears.

I run over to my mother and hug her tightly while wiping the tears off her face. "Mommy, do not cry over that man you are stronger than this."

She gives me a faint smile as she holds me and Clara's hand.

"I love you my girls so much."

"We love you too mommy,' Clara I both say.

I walk over to Clara and give her a hug. 'I'll see you later beautiful, and oh yeah Rico is coming over later," I wink at her.

"You see mom, she's not letting this go!"

"Leave your sister alone Lace."

"But mom Clara is in love!"

Clara tries to chase me in her wheelchair, but I run towards the front door before she could get to me.

"Bye sweetie, have a good first day!"

"Bye mom, see you later Clara bear!"

As I run to my car I hear my phone vibrate in my pocket. A text from my best friend since Jo Masterson reads

He's back…