Green Arrow VS. Beebo

Disclaimer: This delightfully cracktastic idea was sent my way by Arlyss recently. So if that's not your thing, then you may not want to read this. MWA HA HA HA HAAA! Erm, sorry, needed to let that out.

"This… This is how you defeated an ancient demon!?" Asked one Oliver 'Green Arrow' Queen in astonished disbelief as he held a Beebo doll in his hands.

Something that actually hadn't been on the market in years after its popularity had fizzled out with kids. Sara rolled her eyes in exasperation but nodded. "Yep! It was easily one of the greatest fights in history." She told him in full on seriousness with a smile on her lips.

"I don't even wanna know." Muttered Joe West off to the side with the Flash team in the STAR Labs hanger that the Legends had chosen for a meeting with everyone on Earth-1 following their trip to Aruba.

Though Felicity was noticeably absent while Raisa and Oliver's son, William were present. William being someone Sara still had trouble wrapping her head around! Oliver looked at the Beebo doll and then at Sara. "Do I still have Vertigo in my system!?"

Cause come on now, no way this could be real! And despite Felicty showing up right before he attacked an elevator full of armed Police Officers that were protecting Diaz, that hadn't been enough to put her back in his good books. Not after basically throwing him out when he had lashed out at her and William when things were getting to him. That had finally made him face the fact that she just couldn't handle truly serious things and love and marriage meant that you dealt with that and came out stronger for it. So he told her to leave as he couldn't be with someone who would cut and run when things got especially difficult. William hadn't been too happy but Oliver was confident he'd understand better when he was older. And despite his hallucinations courtesy of Vertigo, he knew it was a pile of bullshit when it came to Laurel and how it was his decision or whatever about her being Black Canary.

No, that was her and her alone. Not him. No matter what the hallucinations or Chase tried to get him to believe in his drugged state of mind. Wally zipped up to him with a device in his hands and seconds later, Gideon spoke up. "The only thing in your system, Mr. Queen, is the Red Death Konstantin Kovar drugged you with before the Fishermen found you on Lian Yu. Though it is currently inactive at this time, you may wish to visit the medical bay to have it removed from your system."

"Right." Replied the archer with a sigh as Wally zipped off to put the device back up and then re-joined the crowd.

"Its just… A stuffed toy beat this Mallus?"

"Yes, Ollie, a giant stuffed toy laid his ass out. Honestly, magic as I've learned is unpredictable. Thought even you would know that by now."

Seriously, what was so hard to believe about that!? "You know, maybe he's spent so much time in the doom and gloom that he can't see somethin' like this bein' possible?" Offered up Wally and gaining a few thoughtful nods his way.

Oliver just frowned at him before giving his attention back to the stuffed toy. And then had to let go of it as it started to shake. Only it didn't fall to the ground when he let go as instead, it floated in place as a glow surrounded it. Of course, Oliver immediately wanted to put it down but unfortunately for him, he didn't have his equipment on hand. The glow disappeared seconds later as it continued to float in the air. "You not believe in Beebo?"

"Ooh, man's in for it now." Muttered Jax to Zari.

Who was grinning in anticipation like he is. Oliver just stared at the toy, wondering yet again if he was still being influenced by Vertigo or even the Red Death despite Gideon's claims to the contrary. "Uhh… What?"

"You not believe in Beebo's magical love and that hurts! You need love and hugs!"

"Like Hell I do! I'd sooner get hugs from those who've tried to kill me then I would you!" Growled Oliver as he dodged an attempt by the thing to hug him.

Those gathered quickly found themselves laughing, Mick Rory included, as Oliver did his best to avoid being hugged by the magical toy. Even though there shouldn't have been a way for said toy to become magical but like Sara said earlier, magic works in unpredictable ways! "Embrace the Beebo, Ollie!" Called out Sara laughingly.

Oliver growled in annoyance. "BARRY! GO GET MY BOW!"

"What!? Dude! Come on! Its just a hug!" Protested the laughing Speedster.

His words made the other man stop to glare at him and that would be a costly mistake for Oliver as Beebo suddenly grabbed hold of him! "You get hugs and love from Beebo!"

"WHAT!? NO!"

Try as he might, Oliver couldn't escape from the iron grip of the magical Beebo as the laughter continued. Though their laughter would quickly die out as a bright glow began to surround the two. The glow didn't last very long however, but where there was two was now one. Only this wasn't someone any of them recognized as he wore a sleeveless light green colored outfit with a bow in one hand and his quiver strapped to his back. Instead of a domino mask under the hood was basically shades and on his arms was green arm bands. The figure smirked as he pulled back the hood and took off the shades to reveal a face that was handsome but again, that they didn't recognize. "Relax everybody, because you've all been gifted with an Oliver Queen who's not a sourpuss whose occasionally secretive. Though I do have his memories." Announced the man and William was considerably freaked out!

"Where… Where's my dad!?"

"Somewhere learning NOT to be a sourpuss. I think. But don't worry, kiddo, you'll get used to the seriously superior version of your grumpy dad that is me."

"I like him already." Murmured Iris and getting an unhappy look from her husband!

"What!? I'm just saying is all!"

The new Oliver just smirked again. "Sorry, but I'm a happily married man."

"Oh, so you're married to Felicity as well?" Wondered Barry curiously.

"Hell no. Chloe Sullivan. Smoak's just some knock off that somebody thought would be as good if not better then Chloe or even Dinah Laurel Lance. And they are wrong as Hell."

Needless to say, it didn't take long for everyone to prefer this Oliver Queen to the one they knew. Even forgetting about that version entirely thanks to the Power That Is Beebo!

Author's Notes: Hmm… Not quite sure I pulled off the crackyness that well. The Oliver shown near the end is of course the Smallville version.