Title: Is That a Hole in the Wall? 1/?
Author: Bonster
Email: angelxanderforever@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yeah, definitely. This is my first attempt at a multi-parter, and encouragement is needed. :)
Archive: Let me know, because I like knowing where these boys play.
Pairings: Xander/Spike, it's in pre-slash mode for now
Rating: PG, for imaginary naked Spike.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They belong to Joss "God" Whedon. Oh and ME, Kuzui, Fox, etc. Except for Roger. He just came along for the ride.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Spike has a bug problem in his apartment. Xander works for Pete's Pest Control. And the bugs, well, they're demonic.
Notes: This is an AU. Xander has found his calling as a pest control worker. Spike is living in an apartment in a magically inclined building. Other Buffy characters? Bah! Who needs them? You think Spike and Xander can't handle bugs? Piffle!
I was standing in my bathroom with the buzzing flies that must be breeding in there because no matter if I kill 4 one day, 5 are back the next day. So I was royally pissed. And apparently Spike decided to tell me a story.
And thanks to Lisa for a cursory evaluation!
"Pete's Pest Control. Roger speaking."
"Yeah, uh, I got a bug problem. I don't know how the bloody annoying little buggers got in or why they stick around, but they're tiresome."
"Okay, sir. A quick question. Are they demonic or non?"
"They have feathers for Christ's sake. What do you think?" An eye-roll heard in the tone of voice.
"Right, sir. Name please and residence."
"Spike and Newland Hills, apartment 206. When can someone come 'round? My favorite telly program is coming on soon, and I want to record the least amount of commercials."
"Well, sir, we have a truck making rounds, and they can be there around five PM. Is that acceptable?"
A slight pause, some slight grumbling, and a muttered, "Yeah. Fine. Just get these shedding buggers out of here."
After the click, Roger put in a call to the number 4 truck, "Harris?"
#####
Nearly yanking the door off its hinges, Spike was poised to make many snarky and snide comments to the Pest Control person who had been sent. However, when he opened the door to find Xander Harris looking bored in full Pete's Pest Control gear, he frowned.
"Oy, whelp. So you're the bug man? Well, I guess since the Slayer is no longer around, you got to fight evil wherever it is found." Spike sneered, and walked back to his chair in front of the television.
After rolling his eyes, Xander looked around the apartment. It was like his, except smaller and with less windows. Not seeing a sign of the bugs that were supposedly lurking, Xander sighed.
"Spike, would you mind showing me where the bugs are, or at least one of the dead ones to get a better idea of the equipment I need?" Xander shifted his feet. He was not nervous. After all, he had known Spike for years, and had been to his old crypt more than a few times. However, entering and de-bugging Spike's attempt at domesticity was disconcerting.
"Didn't that Roger bloke tell you? Guess not. Seeing as how I only told him they had feathers." Spike snorted. "They have feathers, red jeweled eyes, and a habit of standing on their hind legs. Will that help you get your equipment straight?"
Xander blinked. Thinking of straight equipment? With Spike in the room? Shaking his head, and sighing. "Spike, it sounds like Garvinadeles. And they only appear in this dimension like never."
Spike puffed up his chest. "You think I don't know what I'm seeing then? Vampire eyesight doesn't ring a bell? Fine. Follow me."
Spike led Xander toward the kitchen counter, and pointed. "Right about every morning, they form little lines, heading god knows where. And then around noon they march back to wherever it is they call home, like larger and more intelligent ants. And that's all they ever do. However, their bleedin' feathers get everywhere."
Xander quirked an eyebrow. It was not that he did not believe Spike. But the feathers which bothered Spike so much were nowhere to be seen. An image came to Xander's mind of Spike covered in said imaginary feathers, and only imaginary feathers. Think Xander!
Xander frowned and sneered. "Spike, listen. If they really meet your description, and I'm not saying they don't, but if they do, then there are usually thousands of them, and they're too large to be simply staying in a messy corner or in a cabinet."
Spike pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Right. You don't believe me. You can't see the feathers and think I'm daft as that demon chit you used to be with. Well, come over here then."
Xander winced at the mention of Anya. They had broken up years ago, but whenever he was around Spike, at the very least her name or as Spike put so succinctly "the demon chit" would make its way into the conversation. Xander wondered what had occurred that he had obviously missed between the two. Or maybe it was just that Spike knew it got under Xander's skin; being an evil vampire and all that.
Spike once again led Xander to another part of his apartment. Xander realized the room must be enchanted because the kitchen counter was again in front of him. However, the gray wall to his left before was now to his right, and was now an egg shell color.
Xander also felt a little light headed. He blinked several times trying to clear the fog that was forming in his mind. He tried to focus on the counter, but it looked as if it was imploding and going sideways all at once. He turned to Spike with slightly parted lips and a frown.
Spike smirked. "Yeah. The whole building's got so many enchantments the enchantments get confused." Spike chuckled. "You should have seen me tryin' to take a shower this one time, and the water...Xander? Are you all right mate?"
The image of Spike in the shower pushed Xander`s befuddled brain over the edge. The entire world started spinning and his stomach was lurching; all of which could not be entirely contributed to the surrounding enchantments, as much as the swirling images of a naked, wet Spike.
Spike's worried eyes were the last thing Xander saw before the world faded to black.
Author: Bonster
Email: angelxanderforever@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yeah, definitely. This is my first attempt at a multi-parter, and encouragement is needed. :)
Archive: Let me know, because I like knowing where these boys play.
Pairings: Xander/Spike, it's in pre-slash mode for now
Rating: PG, for imaginary naked Spike.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They belong to Joss "God" Whedon. Oh and ME, Kuzui, Fox, etc. Except for Roger. He just came along for the ride.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Spike has a bug problem in his apartment. Xander works for Pete's Pest Control. And the bugs, well, they're demonic.
Notes: This is an AU. Xander has found his calling as a pest control worker. Spike is living in an apartment in a magically inclined building. Other Buffy characters? Bah! Who needs them? You think Spike and Xander can't handle bugs? Piffle!
I was standing in my bathroom with the buzzing flies that must be breeding in there because no matter if I kill 4 one day, 5 are back the next day. So I was royally pissed. And apparently Spike decided to tell me a story.
And thanks to Lisa for a cursory evaluation!
"Pete's Pest Control. Roger speaking."
"Yeah, uh, I got a bug problem. I don't know how the bloody annoying little buggers got in or why they stick around, but they're tiresome."
"Okay, sir. A quick question. Are they demonic or non?"
"They have feathers for Christ's sake. What do you think?" An eye-roll heard in the tone of voice.
"Right, sir. Name please and residence."
"Spike and Newland Hills, apartment 206. When can someone come 'round? My favorite telly program is coming on soon, and I want to record the least amount of commercials."
"Well, sir, we have a truck making rounds, and they can be there around five PM. Is that acceptable?"
A slight pause, some slight grumbling, and a muttered, "Yeah. Fine. Just get these shedding buggers out of here."
After the click, Roger put in a call to the number 4 truck, "Harris?"
#####
Nearly yanking the door off its hinges, Spike was poised to make many snarky and snide comments to the Pest Control person who had been sent. However, when he opened the door to find Xander Harris looking bored in full Pete's Pest Control gear, he frowned.
"Oy, whelp. So you're the bug man? Well, I guess since the Slayer is no longer around, you got to fight evil wherever it is found." Spike sneered, and walked back to his chair in front of the television.
After rolling his eyes, Xander looked around the apartment. It was like his, except smaller and with less windows. Not seeing a sign of the bugs that were supposedly lurking, Xander sighed.
"Spike, would you mind showing me where the bugs are, or at least one of the dead ones to get a better idea of the equipment I need?" Xander shifted his feet. He was not nervous. After all, he had known Spike for years, and had been to his old crypt more than a few times. However, entering and de-bugging Spike's attempt at domesticity was disconcerting.
"Didn't that Roger bloke tell you? Guess not. Seeing as how I only told him they had feathers." Spike snorted. "They have feathers, red jeweled eyes, and a habit of standing on their hind legs. Will that help you get your equipment straight?"
Xander blinked. Thinking of straight equipment? With Spike in the room? Shaking his head, and sighing. "Spike, it sounds like Garvinadeles. And they only appear in this dimension like never."
Spike puffed up his chest. "You think I don't know what I'm seeing then? Vampire eyesight doesn't ring a bell? Fine. Follow me."
Spike led Xander toward the kitchen counter, and pointed. "Right about every morning, they form little lines, heading god knows where. And then around noon they march back to wherever it is they call home, like larger and more intelligent ants. And that's all they ever do. However, their bleedin' feathers get everywhere."
Xander quirked an eyebrow. It was not that he did not believe Spike. But the feathers which bothered Spike so much were nowhere to be seen. An image came to Xander's mind of Spike covered in said imaginary feathers, and only imaginary feathers. Think Xander!
Xander frowned and sneered. "Spike, listen. If they really meet your description, and I'm not saying they don't, but if they do, then there are usually thousands of them, and they're too large to be simply staying in a messy corner or in a cabinet."
Spike pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Right. You don't believe me. You can't see the feathers and think I'm daft as that demon chit you used to be with. Well, come over here then."
Xander winced at the mention of Anya. They had broken up years ago, but whenever he was around Spike, at the very least her name or as Spike put so succinctly "the demon chit" would make its way into the conversation. Xander wondered what had occurred that he had obviously missed between the two. Or maybe it was just that Spike knew it got under Xander's skin; being an evil vampire and all that.
Spike once again led Xander to another part of his apartment. Xander realized the room must be enchanted because the kitchen counter was again in front of him. However, the gray wall to his left before was now to his right, and was now an egg shell color.
Xander also felt a little light headed. He blinked several times trying to clear the fog that was forming in his mind. He tried to focus on the counter, but it looked as if it was imploding and going sideways all at once. He turned to Spike with slightly parted lips and a frown.
Spike smirked. "Yeah. The whole building's got so many enchantments the enchantments get confused." Spike chuckled. "You should have seen me tryin' to take a shower this one time, and the water...Xander? Are you all right mate?"
The image of Spike in the shower pushed Xander`s befuddled brain over the edge. The entire world started spinning and his stomach was lurching; all of which could not be entirely contributed to the surrounding enchantments, as much as the swirling images of a naked, wet Spike.
Spike's worried eyes were the last thing Xander saw before the world faded to black.