"O lovers! Be careful in those dangerous first days! Once you've brought breakfast in bed you'll have to bring it forever, unless you want to be accused of lovelessness and betrayal"
This was supposed to be a simple divorce proceeding. She would take half; they would share custody, nothing to write home about. Every morning he arrived early, stopping by the replicator to get a hot Cup o' Joe, and every morning he meets "Jenkins", a security guard at the court houses. They don't talk about the case merely chat about the Braves and how shitty they're doing, or "How 'bout them Dawgs?" Jenkins is Georgia Tech man, but he doesn't hold that against him. This small routine is nothing life changing, but it's enough.
It seems that foul strumpet missed the memo about civil divorce court and has her bulldog lawyers drag his name through the mud with accusations of alcoholism, neglect, and most ironically, adultery. Guess hell hath no fury like an entitled bitch with an axe to grind.
His lawyer's tried to warn him during those initial talks. Don't try to out maneuver an Atlanta socialite. But if Leonard McCoy was one thing, it was being stubborn as a ill-tempered mule. He refused; saying that common sense and decency would win the day. Worst mistake he'd ever made, besides marrying the lying jezebel. The agonizing days turned into torturous weeks. The judge, an old drinking buddy of her fathers of all things, overruled every objection, allowed every conjecture and more than once threatened to hold the doctor in contempt of court after some particularly loud complaints.
So when the judge asked for finale remarks, he couldn't help himself. It was useless to pursue this fracas to its final stupidity, and he'dbe damned if she got the last word on this. Better to go out like a man, than to sit meekly like a mouse. "Your Honor, I have one last thing I'd like to say before you deliberate and make your final judgment." When no objection came, he turned and looked his soon to be ex-wife in the face and said with a conviction that would've made any southern gentleman proud.
"Frankly my dear, you can kiss my ass!"
Gasps echoed throughout the chamber as everyone tried to process what just happened. The judge started to turn red from the sheer audacity and disrespect. The bailiff stood opened mouthed like a gasping trout, and the meager crowd who watched started to titter to themselves in clear indignation and surprise. But it's the security guard in the back of the room that caught his attention. While most people murmured about his lack of manners and the way this simple legal procedure had turned into a three ring circus, "Jenkins" had a small smile on his face and approval evident in his eyes even as he walked to escort the doctor out of the court room and into the county lock up for contempt of court.
Later that evening, when his lawyer paid his bail he brought word on the judge's decision. The final damage: Everything. He lost the house, the 401K, and worst of all, his precious little girl. That is the bitterest pill to swallow. If this isn't a perfect time for pity, then he'd hate to see a better one. The local dive bar around the corner would serve nicely as a place to drown his sorrows, and a least he'd have one hell of a story to tell.
"O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!"