Oh dear god, that hurts.

First thing I feel when I wake up? A splitting headache. Fantastic.

Hm. Nope, someone didn't knock me out. The pain is too sharp, still. It's fading fast, though, so it's not a hangover. Which means I hit my head after I exited consciousness.

Is this what normal people do before they open their eyes? Figure out why they have a splitting headache? No, probably not. I should do that other thing. Eyes, work.
There we go. Now I see sky. It's nice sky, really. Very blue, nice little, wispy clouds, no pollution. Not any that I can see, at least. The sun is... Pretty much straight above me.

Now, let's work on feeling.

CHRIST THAT'S COLD. EXCUSE ME LEGS, TIME TO WAKE UP.

There we go, I'm sitting up. Right in front of me is a river. Or more like a really long, thin lake. It's barely moving. Anyway, the river goes on for as far as I can see in both directions. Across the river and then some distance, there's some trees.

Not one paved road in sight. Or a building. Or any sign of humanity. Wait, no, that's not right.

There's a bridge across the river, some ways to my left. And a path, obviously connected to the bridge. Well hey, that's something. If all else fails, pick a direction and go. Like that guy.

Wait. What?

There's a person. I mean, they're dressed a little weird, but a person is there. Didn't see them a minute ago. Oh hey, they're looking at me!

... Red, glowing eyes. That's not a good sign. Probably means-

OH GOD, THE GENERAL VICINITY IS SUDDENLY EXTREMELY NOT A GOOD IDEA TO BE IN. FIRES AND PEOPLE ARE TWO GREAT TASTES THAT DON'T TASTE GREAT TOGETHER, LET'S GET THEM APART, FUCK.

I manage to scramble up and out of the way of a sudden burst of flames. A few embers fly up and fizzle out as the area suddenly clears of the blast. No smoke left behind, but the grass is singed, and I definitely felt that heat. Luckily, not all that closely, but it was enough to tell me I wouldn't want to be caught in the middle of it.

I can't see the thing all that well, but it's probably what did that. Somehow. It's getting closer, so I could probably make it out. Let's look a bit closer...

That's not normal skin. That's gray. Like a dead man, but even darker than that... Oh boy.

That's a risen. With that (ridiculous, seriously) hat, I'd guess it's a mage. Life in danger, probably not the best time to mull it over.

MORE FIRE, OW HOLY SHIT HOT HOT THAT BURNS.

The fire doesn't light anything up, conveniently. ... These aren't my clothes. Oh well. Running... No, that wouldn't work. Fight, yes. I could fight. It can't be that hard, right? What do I have?

Wait. Hang on. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. LET'S BACK UP A MINUTE THERE.

A RISEN?

MAGIC?

EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

NO, NO TIME TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. FIGHT. FIGHT GOOD.

Back? No weapon there. Hips? Something there! Come on, come on...

I grasp around a little to find the hilt of a sword. Sword? This isn't mine. Let's see... bronze, I guess. Okay, sure. Whatever, let's just...

Hang on, shouldn't there be more fire by now? Oh. Someone stabbed him. That works.

They're... coming towards me.

Okay. Fight over. Let's... let's put the sword away. There. That's good. There we go, let's just oh hello ground you're about to break my fall apparently congratulations

I wake up with a start, sitting bolt upright but oh no I think I hit someone doing that.

Looking around the room... er, tent, finally yields me who I'm looking for.

Blond hair. Twin tails. Oh, thank god, not drills. Not in the mood for that bullshit. ... Oh, poor dear, she's rubbing her forehead a little. I probably hit it on the way up.

Okay. I can fix this with words. "... Sorry?" DON'T ASK THAT, YOU IDIOT. "Sorry, I mean, oh gosh, that wasn't..." This is very much nothing like I could even possibly hope it to be. "That was an accident, please don't hate me or anything." Hands. Meet my own mouth. There, now I'm shut up.

She pauses for a second, removing her hand. "... Don't worry about it! I've had worse." I breathe a little sigh of relief. Okay, hands, go down, it's okay. Wow, first impression over. Only... How many more do I have? Let's forget about that for now. Oh wow, that smile. That is a hell of a smile. "Dunno what happened to you exactly, but you were really out of it." Oh no she looked worried for a second.

"'m just a heavy sleeper. Sorry." Real name? No, I guess. "I'm Verei. Sorry if I was any trouble." There, first impression AND introduction done. Nice! Almost two-for-two here. Ah, let's stretch a little, still waking up. Yaaaaawn. Okay, starting to feel tired again, better try and get up.

"I'm Lissa. Nice to meet you!" Wow, how is one girl so frickin' cheery? I wanna hug her or something like that. Time for that isn't now, but it will happen, I swear. "It's my pleasure. Now, be honest, do I look like a disaster?" I kick the blanket away, swinging my legs over- oh, it's a cot. Not all that much room for leg dangling. This is gonna screw with my routine. With another yawn, I manage to stand up.

She pauses. Well, that's a yes. "Don't worry, I just want to make sure I don't look terrible during a first impression."

Wait, shit.

"A first impression for who?" Dammit. Okay, let's think this over...

"Well, I, uh..." Let's not sound like that, okay? "I'm pretty sure you aren't the one who impaled the, er, thing that was attacking me, roadside." That works, right? "No offense I mean I'm sure you could kill someone if that's your... kind of... thing." Why are these words leaving my mouth right now.

"Anyway, I just sorta figured that meant there was someone you were travelling with, and..." There, let's look sheepish. Acting skills, don't fail me now.

"... Okay, sure. You were right, actually!" There! Relief, relief... I think I'm doing good here. "I'm with the Shepherds. No, not the farm kind. We're an... I think it was a "private, elite militia" or something?" ... What are the Shepherds, officially, anyway? "We're peacemakers, diplomats, small roving army maybe, that kind of thing." She just settles for that, sighing a little.

"So, you're the good guys? Got it, sure." Annnd there we go! Standing is easy. Except when it isn't, but it is right now. What am I wearing, exactly? Looks... sorta like a mercenary outfit, I guess. Armor at a few joints and not many other places. Clothes themselves are pretty flexible, so yeah, that's nice.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it!" So enthusiastic. Good to see someone like that. Okay, probably just my hair that doesn't look good... Shake it out a little, comb through it with my fingers. Ah, yes, so smooth. "Camp is set up, it should be time to eat soon. Do you need me to show you the food tent?" Food. Yeah, that sounds good right about now. Let's do that. "Sure, why not? Lead the way." I pull aside the tent flap and wave her outside.

Oh wow, it's nice out here. Really nice. There's a good breeze and it's not cold or hot and it smells like plants. Not those stupid ugly plants that smell like knockoff peppermint or something if you so much as brush against them either, but grass and pine needles and flowers.

Okay, the camp has a lot more tents than I'd thought. How many people were with the Shepherds at this point, even only counting the ones with screentime? (Assuming there are any members of the Shepherds that don't see the battlefield or have plot significance.) I mean, even if they each had separate tents, how many tents could there be? Somehow, it feels like I'm going to have to re-learn a lot of things.

Granted, I really had no idea what the Shepherds' camp ever looked like. Was there any way to tell? I guess I just had this mental image and it was wrong.

Why do I hear yelling?

"I swear on all that is holy, if you 'borrowed' my crap again, history will take decades to determine whether or not your ass existed at all!" Ah, that's Sully, I think. The character almost everyone portrays as a total bro, but almost no one develops. Screw that, I married her to Chrom in my first run. Did Lucina get any even half decent skills or stats?

...Nope! But I didn't care.

She's yelling at... someone, in that tent over there. I can't make out who exactly is replying, which rules out Vaike, but that still leaves options. Lissa, what are you doing? Don't tell me she plans to diffuse this fiasco. No, she does, she's lifting the tent flap and oh god why is she pulling me in there

I clearly just interrupted something. That's Sully, who seems to have been in the middle of arguing with... Robin. Who is a man here, and oh my god, he's short. This isn't the default Robin. The hair is still white, but we definitely have the short build here, yessir.

I'm staring. To be fair, they're staring too, but, I'm staring. Uh. "... Am I interrupting something?" Lissa, you will face retribution. Eventually.

Robin clears his throat. Okay, that's about the voice I'd expect. Kind of high. Puberty barely hit him, good to know it shows everywhere. "Well, yes. But it's not a problem. Did you need something?" You will be very good friends with Ricken but I can't say that yet.

"I just woke up. Was supposed to be headed to the food tent an-" "-Okay, I don't dislike you personally, but," Sully, that's rude, don't interrupt people. "It IS a problem. Robin and I," she punctuates that by grabbing Robin's shoulder and shaking him a little, "were having a friendly discussion about whose weapons are and are not okay to take without permission or warning."

"I told you, your sword will be back before the day is out. I just need to see what parts of them endure more wear and tear so I can have them reinforced." Robin, that's immature. You should at least ask. "Well what if I needed it now? What if Risen showed up, and I had to swoop in and save your ungrateful ass but I couldn't find my sword?" Sully, why.

"... Risen?" There! Let's build my character a bit and try to diffuse the situation in one fell swoop.

Sully looks mad, but she shuts up while Robin explains. "Risen. They have gray skin, glowing red eyes, and bad conversational skills. We found you in the middle of a fight with a few of them. Did you really not see any?"

I hope I look right for this. "Oh! Those. I didn't know they had a name." Should I be this nonchalant about the apparent appearance of living undead? Eh.

"Well, they do. Which leads me to my next point. Who are you?" Oh, right. Introducing yourself is generally important.

"I'm Verei. No real title or anything aside from that, I'm, uh, between jobs, I guess is right..." How do you explain that your employment is in another dimension? "... Actually, are you guys hiring?"

That makes Robin pause. "You know what? Sure." Sully seems to have evacuated, along with her sword, a few minutes ago. "We pretty much let Virion in because he wouldn't stop following Sully. You're not the worst we could do." Yes! And that's how to get in with the protagonists. "Go talk to Chrom, it's only official when he says so. But my word is enough for him already, it seems like."

"Alright, thanks. See you later." And I'm out. There! That works.

Lissa is giggling off to the side. I'll make a plan for revenge later, now I'm just hungry. "You." She stops. Like, right away. You can see the exact moment she goes from laughing to thinking 'oh crap'. Delicious. "You were supposed to take me to the food tent. Can we do that right this time, or do you have someone else you want to introduce me to?"

The relief is palpable. Less delicious. Still fun. But then, she's back to normal. "Okay, no, I'm done. I mean it. You're probably hungry. I'm not mean enough to keep you like that." Thank god. "This way." Okay, she really does seem done for the moment. And that does look like the food tent. And smell like it, wow, okay, something's good.

Lissa goes inside first. A gesture of good faith. Or she's just hungry too. I dunno. Let's go in, and... ah, food smell. Looks like meat and rolls, but it's damn good meat by smell. Aside from Lissa (who's getting hers right now), there are a few shepherds in here too. I can see Miriel slowly picking at a small plate of food in a corner, mostly interested in whatever book she's buried in. And Stahl is over there, going through... that's his fourth plate.

Frederick is there. Oh god, he's looking at me. I feel like I'm one foot tall and he's ten suddenly let's not look in that direction OKAY FOOD THERE. Get food. Food good.

There are plates, over... here, and utensils (wood? okay then, whatever) there, and now let's get to a place a suitable distance from everyone else.

Food is a noun and a verb and an adjective. Just "food" should be a complete sentence. Food. God, it's good. Homemade shit is incredible. Or maybe camp-made. The rolls might be homemade, but this meat was just cooked. I dunno. Oh hey, Lissa sat down there. I can't plan my revenge with her looking adorable in my peripheral vision, darn it.

"Got enough food there?" Don't go there, lady, it isn't a pretty place. "Yeah, I guess. What is this? Deer?" If it's bear meat, I swear, I hate the forces that be for letting me walk into that cliche.

"Yeah. First time eating it?" Would that make sense for someone here? Fuck it. "Well, yeah. 's not bad." Chew, chew. What should I talk about though.

Maybe the stunning display of animes that walked into the tent just now. He has blue hair, giant ass fancy sword, crazy tattoo? Possibly a prince? Holy hell, that's the most anime man I've ever seen.

Am I staring? Pfft, no, why would you say that. Let's look forward, now. "So, I'm going to take a wild guess here and say he's important." Sarcasm! I could never play a role that didn't have sarcasm.

Lissa snorts. "That's Chrom. Prince of Ylisse, brother to Exalt Emmeryn, descendent of the great Hero-King Marth, Prince of Altea himself, inheritor and wielder of the holy blade Falchion!" That was theatrical, but quiet, and equally as sarcastic as my remark. "...So no, nobody important, totally," she snickers.

"Wait, you said he was called Chrom? I think he's the one I have to talk to to, uh, officially be part of this whole operation you have going." Oh, wait. "That's a thing that's happening, by the way, or at least probably. By how Robin talked, I would guess it will at least."

"Oh, okay!" I'm going to go blind by way of close proximity to a ray of freaking sunshine.
Suddenly, Prince Anime himself decides to talk to us because okay he came over near us at some point. I need to pay more attention. "I see you're awake. Do you mind if I sit down here?"

"No, should I?" I have no idea what those words are supposed to be subtly implying, don't ask. "You're Chrom, right?" I give him long enough to nod. He sat down, by the way. "Apparently I work for you now. Nice to meet you, glad to be part of the team or whatever." Step one of getting something: act like you already have it.

"Well, allow me to welcome you. Apparently Robin thinks we need all the help we can get. I'm not sure about that, but then, he's the tactician, not me." His cape is fluttering. How is his cape fluttering. Why is his cape fluttering. He's sitting down. We're inside. "Either way, I don't think you told me your name, miss...?"

"Verei. Sorry, sorry, I probably should have said that earlier."

"Ah. It's a pleasure to meet you." I can't call you Prince Anime because all that would do is make me need to explain it to you. Which would take more explanations afterward. Eventually I'd be talking for hours, and possibly also get interrogated. But it's so tempting.

A temptation I have to back down from, sadly.

"It's mutual."

= = SEVERAL HOURS GO BY... = =

Ughhhh. Sometimes I forget that talking for extended periods of time is hard. I swear, I repeated pretty much any given phrase like three times.
Either way.

I'm in with the Shepherds.

And I was apparently picked up on the way to Regna Ferox, which means we're headed towards the Longfort now.

So, that's where I am in the story.

(Oops, did I mention we're moving? Everything's all packed up. It's kinda cool to see all the stuff disappear into as little space as possible. Most people have gotten horses or hitched rides with those who have them, but I don't want to intrude like that or anything.)

(Even if my legs are killing me.)

(Oh well. Such is life or something.)

Priorities, though. Should I question what's going on? Is this a vivid coma-dream? No, no. Once again, I will find a way to slap the universe if it lets me walk into that cliche.

(Was that ever really a cliche that got used, or just an absurdly common fan theory for everything?)

(Bleh. Don't care.)

I'm not looking forward to the snow. Or anything even remotely cold now that I think of it. But hey, it's only one chapter that we fight outside in the cold. Well, like four, but only one for now.

Unless me being here screwed something up? I'm not sure how me showing up would make us stay in Ferox longer though so I'm guessing that's not all that important but I'll keep in mind I don't belong here and therefore at least some kind of eldritch-cult-inspired weirdos who hate me because I defiled canon (or just the natural order of how things were supposed to go or whatever it's called) are probably going to show up and try to murder me and me specifically if half of the explained self-insert fanfictions are any indication and

Whoah.

Why am I thinking so much?

Let's slow down a minute there.

I think I'm going to sit back, relax, and try to enjoy the impossible for a little bit. Let the plot go as normal, make friends, see what happens in the relationship department...

Yeah. I think I can do this.

Posts this while I'm half asleep and slightly delirious so I don't talk myself out of it.

So I made my account literally months ago because I thought I would be done with this in a few days

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

HA HA

HA

NOPE I'M AWFUL

I probably can't keep a decent schedule.

I also probably should have waited for Fates so I could base this on that instead of a game that's within its final year of complete relevance.

On that note, fanfictions that are literally "the plot of a game, but with extra characters!" are absolutely saturating the market at the moment, including big name

competitors who will squash me, regardless of how nice I'm sure their authors must be.

Don't worry, they deserve the attention more.

Maybe I can bring something new to the table?

I'll do my best.

(Ah. Yes. I should note. The self-insert? And there will be one.)

(It'll probably be obvious who they are.)

(And more importantly, I'm not writing from their perspective.

(I probably won't be doing it all that much in general.)

(What this says about my psychology, believe me, I've tried to figure it out, but I can't.)

Oh well. Please, read and review, the last time I wrote fanfiction, I was like 11 or 12.

I think I need the feedback.

Like, really need it.

LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES AFTER POSTING EDIT: Apparently my line breaks offended the fanfic gods and got removed.

MANUALLY REDID THE CHAPTER IN THE DOC EDITOR AFTER COPY AND PASTING.

Excuse how dumb the end of the chapter looked previously.