Since the beginning of time, everybody has noticed the differences between men and women.
I mean, it's kinda hard to miss.
Now, also since the beginning of time, there has been a huge taboo on men wearing dresses, not that that didn't stop many transvestites. Not that I have a vendetta against transvestites.
Anyway, when we went to go to the kid's parents and deliver Bozo's ear, I wasn't expecting anything out to the ordinary. C'mon, we were delivering a plastic clown ear along with a new ransom note demanding more money for the safety of their son. That's what you'd call a text book case, if textbooks covered clown mutilation.
I wasn't paying attention, truthfully. I was bored. I was ready to say screw the clown, screw the money, and screw your good ol' dad! Then, of course, I'd be asked to leave and I'd get a good talking to by Fuller. So, I resolved to leaning against their dining table, smacking my gum as if it were nicotine. They were talking, blah, blah, kidnapping, blah, blah, your dad's crazy, blah, blah, my penis is bigger then yours, blah friggin' blah.
Which pretty much tells you that I wasn't paying attention. I should've, I know I should've. And no, not for the morality of it, not for the fact that they were discussing their son's kidnapping, or for the fact that one of the best kidnappers of all time just got their moves ripped off. If I had listened, I could've protected myself from at least a half-hour embarrassment back at the chapel. Besides, my pride was way more important. I am trying to find their son after all. Trying being the operative word.
So, I'm leaning when all of a sudden, Fuller asks the mom if she wants to follow the demands.
"'Cause he wants you to deliver the ransom this time," Fuller said easily. Great, mommy dearest to the rescue. Then daddy dearest said something about mommy dearest not going and something else about tossing money back and forth out of car windows, and I knew that the kidnappers that invented that move were getting ripped off again. They probably should've patented that one.
It was then that Fuller spoke again, and I barely caught the words.
"We may not have to. How good is your father's eyesight?" Screw eyesight; let's just find the guy! Mommy dearest didn't reply, but the look in her eyes said 'not too good.' Then Fuller looked over at Doug, who was leaning against the counter. Doug then looked over at me, followed by parents dearest.
I stopped in mid smack to look at him, and then continued smacking. What the hell were they looking at me for?
"They don't pay me enough for this."
"Yeah... pantyhose are so expensive..."
Author's Notes: What were Tom's thoughts durin' the conversation that would undoubtly change his fate? Wouldn't we like to know... During the episode In the Custody of a Clown.
Ja ne ICBINA