Daddy's Magic Sparkle Princess
by HugoCogs (April 2013)
"As Liara and Shepard's wedding approaches, Aethyta decides to have a serious "talk" with the Commander about her intentions towards her daughter, and her previous conquests."
Disclaimer: Bioware said "Let There Be Light!", I merely get to move the light bulbs around the way I like.
A/N: So I am currently working on the latest chapter for Once More Unto The Breach, a Liara/Femshep wedding...it's managed to take a life of it's own on, and may end up being much bigger than I thought...and WordKrush has been kind and awesome enough to work on some important details with me on it. So I'm really looking forward to how it all comes out when it's done.
In the meantime, I was particularly pleased with how one of the sections of that story turned out, so I decided to spin it off as it's own companion "one shot" while continuing to work on the rest of the main chapter. I have a funny feeling the title is going to end up becoming a "call back" throughout the story the way Jenny Sparks is currently threatening to. But I also threw in a special "end scene" which won't be in the main story.
As always, keep those comments, reviews, follows and critiques coming. I will literally die, dry up, and blow away into a fine powder without them ;-)
The leather bag around Shepard's head was unfastened, quick and rough, and she was finally able to see her predicament, not to mention breathe a whole lot better. Finding herself suspended upside down (which she obviously sensed before she could see), with her hands securely bound behind her back, in what appeared to be a dark secluded corner of a warehouse. Indeed, if Shepard didn't know better, between the warmth and the architecture, she'd swear she was on Illium. At the very least, it was safe to guess it was some sort of Asari-friendly world, given the two fierce-looking Commandos standing watch over her. Eclipse members, judging by the markings on their outfits.
Stepping out from behind a stack of crates was Liara's "Father", Matriarch Aethyta. However, she was out of her usual bar tending outfit, and dressed in her own form fitting utility combat leathers, although they lacked any markings. She approached Holly, boot heels clicking as the distance was closed.
"Admiral Shepard."
"Well, actually, it's just...oh." She paused "Well, technically yes, I guess I'm an Admiral again for the moment. Also: Matriarch Aethyta."
Aethyta tapped her lips with her fingertip in contemplation as she assessed her potential future Daughter-in-law. "I must say, Shepard, you see quite at ease at the moment, all things considered. It was almost as if you were expecting this."
Shepard looked back and forth for a moment, then shrugged, or as close to an approximation as her current bondage allowed for. "Well, once I figured out that it was a couple of Asari who managed to knock me out and drag me here, there was a pretty short list of possibilities." She then turned to the two Commandos "By the way, considering how much lock and key I was under at the time, very nice work." then turning back to Aethyta "So yeah, while I will admit this isn't exactly the format I was expecting this conversation to happen in, I did expect this conversation to happen, period.
The Matriarch tilted her head "Oh?"
Shepard rolled her eyes "Oh please, Aethyta. You aren't the first Father to have "The Talk" with me, about my intentions towards Daddy's Magic Sparkle Princess. But...I can guarantee you that you're the last one.
Aethyta quirked a brow, looking somewhat...impressed. She then nodded once "Good answer, Shepard. A good start.." She started to pace back and forth a bit, like a lioness stalking its prey. "We'll then let's have that talk: What ARE your intentions toward my baby daughter?
Shepard's expression softened, her tone of voice grew more respectful "Aethyta...I don't know how else to make you understand how much I dearly love your daughter. I think in my way...I loved her from the moment I met her. I just didn't realize how deep my feelings were until...later...that first merging we had. It was really...special. For both of us. I appreciate the magnitude of it." Seeing as it had been Liaras first time and all. Shepard found she was particularly uncomfortable talking with Aethyta about essentially devirginizing her daughter. "What more do you want me to say? What more do you want me to do? Talk is cheap...if this is part of some sort of Asari ritual to determine how far I'm willing to go...my suitability...then bring it. Because I am more than ready to run the race, to take the plunge...whatever you have...throw it at me,"
Pulling out a small data pad from her side pocket, Aethyta nodded "Oh yeah. We definitely have a gauntlet for you to run, kiddo. Starting with your...shall we say colorful back history of philandering, "Scorpia"?
Shepard blanched. "Aww shit.". Scorpia was her call sign out on the field, before she made it into Command ranks. She had earned the title from her amazing sniper accuracy on the field, but there was also the ditty about how "once a girl's felt Scorpia's sting...". It was true, she had been a female Lothario for her first few years in the service...that was a long time ago. Still...time to chew it raw and swallow, right here right now.
"Now, starting with a Lieutenant Velma Swinton".
"Oh come oooon," Shepard groaned. "I was 17, she wasn't much older and a Staff Sergeant at the time. I was still a minor for crying out loud! We were roommates, we grew close, we had a little "friends with benefits" action. It was a very sweet, temporal thing. She still sends me a Christmas card every year. We're more like sisters than anything else."
"Uh huh. A sister. That you were fucking."
"Well...yeah, sure, it sounds bad when you say it like THAT." Shepard sighed for a moment, then had a quizzical look on her face "Wait a second...how the hell did you find out about me and her? NO ONE knew."
With a Cheshire grin, Aethyta confessed "I didn't, not really. Had my suspicions though. You just did the rest of my work for me."
Shepherd just stared hard at the older Asari for a few seconds, and then gave an incredulous "Ohhooooho.. You are good."
"Yes, Admiral, I'm VERY good at what I do. I've had a thousand years to do it. Next up: Katherine Kates."
"Kitty Kat Kates? Look...it was a very sweet puppy dog romance thing we had going through boot camp. But then we got assigned different postings. And that was that. It was hardly a serious for real thing...I'm sure she feels the same way, wherever she is.
Aethyta narrowed her eyes, and continued to read off the list "Amanda Bates."
Shepard frowned "Amanda was going through this...I don't know...curiosity slash uncertainty phase in her life? And I was the experimental fling. Really, in the end, *I* was the victim, when you think about it."
"Yes, poor, poor you." Aethyta tutted. "Noooooow...and I've been saving this one...the Kusayanagi girls".
Shepard's eyes widened, and she frowned, getting a bit more animated, actually struggling for a moment against her bonds, starting to swing back and forth a bit, suspended as she was.. Raising her voice, she started to respond peevishly "Okay, no. No! You are _not_ seriously about to give me shit over the Kusayangi sisters...really?!"
"Way I hear it, you were dating one of them, and catting around with the other two."
"NOOOO! That is absolutely NOT how it went down. God, I thought you say you were supposed to be GOOD at your job." She scowled, although it was not without some amusement behind it.
Tilting her head slightly, Aethyta mused, crossing her arms "Oh yeah, kid? Well, enlighten me."
"Gladly! Okay...so here's the first thing, the most important thing to remember: Asian twins? Are hot. But triplets? That's like twins, only multiplying it by...uhh...150%? Yes...150%, easily. That much extra hotness. So there I am, freshly assigned to the SSV Roentgen and these three identical triplets, all comm officers, well, they start giggling and flirting with me. Like, shamelessly. And so I'm like "Yeah, that's cool, but I can't date one without the other two getting jealous right? I mean, no matter how bad you think I am, I DID have some amount of honor about these things."
"...Go on..."
"So first shore leave on Illium, I'm minding my own business, having a drink at the bar, and out of the blue _all three_ of them box me into a dark corner. And they're all wearing these matching...well..I don't know what the hell they're called. Except they're very tight, cut very short, and look like those old sailor suits, back when the only ships Earth had were sea vessels."
"Fuku."
Both Shepard and Aethyta swiftly turned their heads, glancing over towards the youngest of the two other Asari Commandos. The elder of the pair just sort of shook her head, and rested a palm over her face.
Blinking, the youngest commando continued "What? That's what they're called. Fuku."
Aethyta just blinked for a few moments, and then asked in a somewhat exasperated tone "And how the hell would you even know that, Cosira?"
Grinning like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and giggling slightly, Cosira responded "Because...um... well...Shepard totally has a point? The Asian sub-genotype of the Human race? They can be very attractive."
Shepard nodded emphatically. "Yes! Thank you. You...Cosira, right? YOU are totally getting invited to the wedding." Cosira couldn't help but get a rather girlish, gleeful expression, which quickly melted under her superior's glare.
Shepard looked back to Aethyta "See, SHE gets it. So I have three incredibly gorgeous Japanese women dressed up in hardly anything, and practically begging me to get into a relationship with ALL THREE of them at once. What was I supposed to say? No?! Do you really think I could do that? Could YOU? I had NO choice. Seriously, if I had turned that down, the Valkyries from Lesbian Valhalla would have immediately descended from the heavens to revoke my membership card."
Aethyta rubbed her chin for a moment, frowning at first, then looking...slightly impressed. She didn't quite understand the references that Shepard was making, but had been around the block long enough to fill in the blanks on her own. "Alright kid, I'm...intrigued. So what went wrong?"
Rolling her eyes heavily, Shepard answered "Oh God...oh...GOD.. You know how like...you're a kid, and you really like chocolate? And then someone just up and GIVES you a room full of chocolate, out of the blue, and you think it's the best thing in the entire world. And so you start going to town on it, but after while...well..you run into problems, and you realize maybe you're getting sick of eating so much chocolate all the time. Except instead of the room, imagine three sexy Japanese sisters, and instead of chocolate..."
Tilting her face down into her hand, Aethyta growled slightly "Goddess, yes. I...get...the point."
"Yeah. So Aiko and Yuriko started to get jealous and get catty with each other. As the oldest sister,by about three minutes, Ichiko decided it was her duty to put a stop to this. Of course, her solution was to start completely monopolizing me, and pushing her sisters to the curb."
"Shepard..." Aethyta said with dismay in her voice "You realize we're not even halfway down the list yet? Right?"
"Not my fault! I mean believe me, I was never so happy to be sent to a combat zone in my life! They'd still be getting into cat fights over me if I hadn't gotten shipped off to Torfan to provide specialized support..."
"Ok, ok. Fuck! Point made. But next we have Carmelita Ortiz."
"Oh."
"Ooooh, Shepard?"
Shepard closed her eyes for a moment and looked very sheepish. "...The Admiral's daughter. Yeahhhh, alright...you have me to dead to rights. I was a total asshole in that case. I concede whatever point you want to make on that."
Pacing once again, and starting to sigh with exasperation, Aethyta mumbled "Okay...look, I'm just going to...skip through the...list...here..." and she continued to scroll through for about 15 seconds before finally getting to the next name. "Gennifer Spakenopolis."
Shepard rolled her eyes once more "Oh Christ! Jenny Sparks? Yeah, let me tell you something, Jenny Sparks only WISHES she had had a relationship with me. The thing with her is that she was completely straight-laced, by the book, no fun at all...but you get some booze into her, and she got EXTREMELY bi. My 25th birthday weekend, she got all cuddly and kissy with me, and we made out a couple of times on Omega, but I never actually brought her to bed. Believe me of the 5...maybe 6...certainly no more than 8 at the VERY most... women who I woke up in bed with that weekend, Jenny Sparks was NOT one of them. I'm...at LEAST 75% certain of that."
Suddenly Shepard frowned, and wiggled again, causing her to sway slightly "Okay, look Aethyta, I'm not going to excuse the fact that yeah, I was a real heart-breaker once upon a time. But as soon as they make me a Lieutenant Commander, I told myself, right after my birthday "Okay. You're in command now. You need to set better examples for those under you. We had a lot of fun, but it's time to start cleaning up the act, and behaving with more...decorum. You can't look at this record you've compiled on me, and tell me that I wasn't true to my word after that moment."
Taking a sharp, long breath through her nose, the Matriarch scrunched up her lips, and then sighed "Alright, alright. Yes...you have me there. It does seem like you zipped those legs of yours shut right around that time. No record of any real relationships at all, until..."
"Until I met your daughter." Shepard said softly. "Look...again... if there's some sort of test you want me to undertake, if you have some sort of Asari dragon out there to slay...I'll do it. Because this is the woman I love, have loved above all others. And you know what? Right now, I don't even fucking care if I have your blessing or not, because I *AM* marrying her, one way or the other but..." she sighed heavily "I think she really cares for you...I think having her in your life really is good for her. I want her to be happy. So I really would LIKE your blessing, if that's at all possible." ."
Aethyta held her pose for a while, and then finally turned to the pair. "Alright...let her down." Cosira unbound Shepard's arms, while the other one (Whom Shepard would later find out was named Pallana) unceremoniously undid the rope suspending her upside down, allowing her to crumble onto the floor. She picked herself up and rubbing her arms and wrists, stepped up to meet the Matriarch eye to eye.
"There's one last thing I need to know, Shepard...one last thing I just...can't...quite get around yet. The two years."
Shepard looked confused for a moment...then it dawned on her. "Right. Two years."
"What happened, Shepard? Why didn't you go running back to her right there and then?"
With a pained expression on her face, Shepard looked away for a moment. Still not meeting Aethyta's gaze, she replied "Because I was going to die, Aethyta. At least, I was absolutely convinced at the time we weren't coming back through the Omega relay. God knows I did every possible thing I could, played every card available, pulled every string...and we still lost good people." She closed her eyes for a moment, the image of Jack's twisted corpse in the wreckage after the battle with the Human-Reaper; Shepard's ultimately failure to fully redeem the troubled young woman had burned in her, in the way that Akuze did, in the way that Kelly Chamber's death, which she blamed herself for, did as well.
Shepard continued "She spent two years mourning...I know that's not very long to you, but it was a fresh wound for her still. I could see it. And when I finally saw her again at Illium...I think we were both trying to protect the other. I didn't...I didn't want to do that to her again, Aethyta. How could I have? At the time, I thought it best to keep her safe...from me. From the pain that losing me once again was going to bring. Even after the two of us ran riot, and I helped her become the Shadow Broker...don't you think that all I wanted to do was throw myself into her arms, and tell her, beg her, to take me back, and that I still wanted her as mine?"
Despite herself, and her best attempts Aethyta's stony countenance began to soften, understanding and sympathy beginning to show through the cracks. Still, she murmured "But you came back from Omega."
"Yeah. I came back from Omega. And three days after I cut ties with Cerberus, Hackett contacted me, and asked me to look into a situation for him. What eventually became the Alpha Relay incident. I promised him, after all those...after all those people died, that I was going to come straight home and pay the piper. I wasn't about to try and renew anything with Liara with that going on. I didn't see her again until after the Reapers attacked Earth, and I rescued her from Mars. And that...that's when I knew, Aethyta. The war had started...and we were ALL going to either die, or live. That's when I realized I needed her back in my life, come what may. It was just a matter of...letting her open back up...letting her let me know it was okay for me to come back in."
Aethyta nodded once. "Alright kid. You have it. My blessing, that is. The test...oh...that comes every day. Every day, you keep my little girl happy. Because Shepard...if you ever hurt her, I promise you...Hero of the Galaxy or not...the next time I string you up, it'll be over a thresher maw pit." At this last part, Aethyta put her face very close to the other woman's.
Shepard narrowed her eyes dangerously. After Akuze, that sort of remark stung deeply. She said, in a hard voice. "That's not funny, Aethyta."
The other woman smiled unkindly "It wasn't meant to be funny at all. So we understand each other now?"
"Clear as crystal."
"Good!" Aethyta suddenly threw an arm around Shepard and crushed her against her side, leading her off "C'mon kid, there's a bar nearby...we'll have a few drinks, we'll talk...you can tell me more about these Kusayangi girls.
In a darkened corner of one of the seedier mercenary bars on Illium, the three Asari and Shepard were settled in, working on a pitcher of what Shepard dubbed 'Asari Sangria'
"But I just don't get it..." Corisa mused as she nursed her drink. "How was that even possible? You'd need a TREMENDOUS amount of flexibility to pull that off.
"Nude Tai-Chi", Shepard murmured, slamming back half of her drink in one gulp, and then nodding approvingly. "Wow...this is really good, by the way."
Cosira blinked "I'm sorry...what? *Nude* what?"
Pallana sighed softly and then murmured "It's like Kepesh-Esar for humans, I think. You know about Fuku, but you don't know that much?"
Cosira looked to Shepard for confirmation who only shrugged, and then responded, canting her head towards Pallana "Yeah. Imagine triplets doing perfectly synchronized...whatever she just said. For you every morning for a week. And they had been doing that since they were little kids so yeah...they were...limber."
Cosira flushed for a moment as she started out, focusing on that particular image. She then gazed intensely at Shepard and said "I am so jealous of you right now, Ma'am."
Aethyta motioned for the waiter to bring over another pitcher of drinks, and then wrapped an arm around Shepard, squeezing her shoulder...very tightly. "So. Shep. I can call you Shep, right? Or Hols? Or how about I call you thresher chow. That is...unless you plan on having kids. And I mean real soon."
Shepard winced visibly, the Matriarch's grip far stronger than she would ever have imagined. She did her best not to cry out from it, and simply responded through gritted teeth. "Hadn't...exactly talked about it. I'm...not opposed to the concept. Isn't she...rather young though?"
Letting go and shrugging, Aethyta swirled the drink in her glass "She's old enough to get married. Most Asari don't have kids for another 100 years or so...but then most Asari haven't done half of what she has by the time they're 500. And I'm not getting any younger, Shep."
Shepard hung her head down for a moment. It...she hadn't considered children. Although Liara had made some mention of it in the past. She glanced over to Aethyta, studying her for a good minute or two...and that's when it hit her.
Oh God. I'm going to be just like her! I am going to totally be like her, Heaven help whomever my daughter starts dating.
And then she thought about her own childhood on the streets on Earth. She had always worried that it would somehow warp her ability to be a proper parent...but with Liara, with her "family" from the Normandy. With everything she had seen and done, she started to wonder...if she didn't have a lot to offer a pack of little blue kids. Or even just the one.
And then...a wide, warm smile cracked over her lips.
"What you staring at, kid?"
Shepard chuckled for a moment, and then said "The future, Matriarch. The future. To Grandkids!" She held out her glass. Aethyta smirked wryly, and clinked her glass in return.