Chapter 1

His Night

A/N:This was originally meant to be a short story as part of some drabbles, but then I decided it could be a story in its own right. Please review, because I am not even sure anyone reads my stuff.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Artemis Fowl characters, not this laptop I'm using, not even my cookie (my sister ate it ). I wish I did. I might own the plot but I'm not sure. I hope I do.

Trouble Kelp was in the bathroom of a bar, slicking up his hair with an enormous amount of hair gel. He'd heard the Holly Short was going to be there that night and he wanted to look his best. Tonight was his night.

Chix Verbil walked into the same bathroom and stood at the sink next to Trouble. He got out some hair gel of the same brand and started doing his black hair too. He'd heard that his hopeful date would be there soon and he waned to look his best. Tonight was his night.

"Hey Trouble," said Chix causally. "What you doing here?"

"Same probably the same as yourself, knowing you," replied Trouble just as causally, turning round so he could check his hair from all angles. "Trying to get a date."

"Aww, come on," protested Chix playfully. "Am I that predictable?"

'Since I have never seen you when you weren't hitting on someone, yes," thought Trouble, though he didn't say it. Although annoying, Privet Verbil was a good officer, when not causing trouble and police work needed a lot of teamwork.

"Who are you meeting?" asked Trouble. "And more importantly, does she know that she's meeting you?"

"Not yet," admitted Chix. "But when she finds out that she's got the Chix man all to herself tonight, she going to be so happy!" Chix was now washing his face with some sort of special soap, making it go greener, which was a sign of a healthy sprite.

"Is she a sprite?" asked Trouble, who was smiling to himself in the mirror and think of chat-up lines.

"Nope, she a lovely Short lady," said Chix, laughing in his mind at the pun. He didn't want to give away any surprises. "Who's your date?"

"Same as you, she doesn't know I'm here," said Trouble, who was thinking through all of the romantic movies he'd ever seen, hoping to pick up ideas. "But I know that she'll love to have a companion on this lonely night. She might need someone to protect her from the strange people around. Anyway, she's hotter than the colour of her hair!"

"An elf then?" asked Chix, who was adjusting his special jacket that let his wings show. He believed that even with his scar, his wings were one of his best features.

"You bet!" said Trouble, who was admiring his outfit from every angle, making sure that it showed his muscles off to the fullest. "What weirdoes date outside of their species?"

Chix fluttered his wings angrily. "Lots of people!" he retorted. "Like your brother!"

"What!" said Trouble; shocked at the idea. "Somebody actually went out with Grub?"

"Oops, wasn't meant to tell you," said Chix guilty. "Please could you forget about it?"

"Only if you tell me who it is," bargained Trouble, still reeling from the idea of his little brother dating.

"Ok, it's the pixie called Bessie in traffic," said Chix quickly. "They set up a 'complaints club' and then Grub asked her out. Now please can we stop this? Grub might kill me."

"Ok," agreed Trouble. He'd seen Grub angry and it wasn't pretty. He checked his appearance one last time, and then decided he was ready. "I'm going to go and make my move," he told Chix confidently.

"Same," said Chix, rehearsing his pick up line. He knew this time he would get it right. They both walked out of the bathroom, both slightly sweating.

"See, your girl?" asked Chix.

"Yep," said Trouble. "Right over there."

"I see mine," said Chix.

"Are you going to tell me her name?" they asked each other at the same time.

They both took at deep breath. "Holly Short," they said as one.