Little Little John
-for my beloved BBC Sherlock
Written by my friend Christina Chang in Chinese, translated by me, Maria J Ma. Authorised!
Author's note: I am not a John/Sherlock fangirl! I support Irene/Sherlock. But what Benedict said,"Martin would make a wonderful pet" was so cute and irresistable...And cute little Martin-John is also all too irresistable, and I just couldn't help writing this...
Translator's note: I am totally a John/Sherlock fangirl...Enjoy!
Please, please review, this means a lot to me and my friend Chris! Please?
Warning: Exasperated John means some loud cursing...
Chapter 1 Of Course I Damn Know That Even If I Stand On The Table I Cannot Reach His Pajama Pocket
"How on earth can I know what the hell happened to me! For God's sake, YOU are the detective!"
Sherlock sat completely still with a weird expression on his face, staring at the palm-sized, desperately stomping mini John on the table. "F**k! Stop ravaging your mind for a reasonable explanation to prove this situation unreal! Stop thinking about that stupid 'supernatural' theory! Think of a way to get me back to normal!"
Sherlock still sat there like a statue, staring at John with a weird expression, while John waved his tiny fist in the air, jumping up and down and still unable to reach even his friend's pajama pocket.
After a very long moment, Sherlock finally twisted his lips a teeny bit, and said with a slightly trembling voice: "John, you have finally succeeded in challenging my ability to comprehend the situation. I cannot acknowledge what is happening right now."
"But it is happening, Sherlock! I am right here standing in front of you, and damn it, I am only 6 inches tall now!"
The mini John finally succeeded in grasping Sherlock's pocket after many futile attempts. Rasping to catch his breath, he put his feet on Sherlock's thigh and started rocking Sherlock's pocket with all his might,:"I can only tell you how exasperated I am in this manner!"
Sherlock looked down at John who was vigorously swinging on the edge of his pajama pocket. His face looked inscrutinizable.
He had been sleeping after he had came back from his midnight case till 8:42 in the morning, then woken up by a creepy rustling sound with some low shouts. When he got up and walked to the table, the 6-inch miniature John shouting by a plate finally grasped his attention.
Although on the surface he still looked calm and composed, the appearance of a shrunken John was undoubtedly the single case that got him beaten, and generated his suspicion of what he has always sternly believed in.
What a f**king weird world.
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The light London mist floated through the window into the flat of Baker Street, going around and leaving a wet, cool trail. Everything looked as calm as it can get: the aroma of coffee in the air; the cracking wood in the fireplace, casting the dancing shadow's on their faces.
Everything looked serene and normal.
Which itself was definitely abnormal.
Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes and John Watson were sitting silently on the sofa, as if trying their best to make the atmosphere even more whimsical.
Sherlock was curled up on his sofa, his head bowed, fingers steepled, fingertips at his chin-his usual thinking posture. Mycroft has changed his usual languid look, and was sitting up straight, arms elegantly resting on the arms of the sofa, one hand holding his omnipresent black umbrella.
John sat, rigidly on the tea table between the Holmes brothers-wait, why the tea table?
When the poor doctor realised that he had been plucked up by Sherlock to put on the tea table while still maintaining his baby-ish hand-on-curled-up-legs position, he jumped up abruptly.
"John, don't get angry, being your current size, it's impossible to break him out of his meditation." Mycroft stopped his upcoming snarl right at the moment. "Of course I damn know that even if I stand on the table I cannot reach his pajama pocket!" John stomped angrily, the impact shaking the mugs on the tea table,"but why must I sit on the tea table and put up with this whimsical atmosphere!"
"Who first created 'this whimsical atmosphere'?"Mycroft raised his eyebrows.
"Mycroft, I did not voluntarily shrink to 6 inches!"
"John."Sherlock's baritone suddenly sounded somewhere up him.
He turned around and looked up, expecting as usual to see Sherlock's half-closed light grey eyes, but was met with his narrow nostrils.
He discovered, defeatedly, that he was forced to observe the world from a very special angle.
"Tell me, what happened between your going to bed yesterday and your appearing on the table this morning?"
"I remember complaining on the way to my bedroom, then instantly falling asleep..."
Sherlock kept still and silent.
"When I was woken up by the cold, I found myself on the pillow, which then could have been bigger than my bed. It took me a long time to realise what had happened, then I decided to get you for help."
"You were on the table when I saw you."
"I wanted to shout for you at first, but voice has shrunk with my body, so I spent half an hour literally climbing down the stairs, another half an hour to climb onto the table to push off a plate or a mug to make enough sound to get your attention."
Sherlock fell silent once again, the dancing fire reflected in his pale grey eyes.
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Time went passed, and John's patience was wearing thin. Normally he could just walk away, but now he had to endure the silence, the whimsical atmosphere and the pain in his butt caused by that cold and hard and uncomfortable tea table.
He knew that Sherlock was unlikely to come up with any explanation for his sudden change, so it would be better to just break the silence.
Then he looked up at Mycroft and decided to interrupt Sherlock's thoughts.
Mini John stood up, took a few steps towards the edge of the table, and leapt, succesfully landing on Sherlock's leg.
Mini John raised his head, ignored the narrow nostrils which blocked his sight, and observed Sherlock's expression. Unaltered. So he climbed up Sherlock's pajamas, grasping the fabric for support.
When he reached his pajama pocket, John realised that he looked like a kitten trying to get its master's attention.
But Sherlock's expression was still unaltered.
John turned his head at Mycroft, and found him staring and straining to suppress a laugh.
He instantly felt like a ridiculous pet being watched.
"Can't you just help he and pat him or something?"
"I believe you do know that Sherlock cannot be influenced in the slightest when he's thinking, especially when his knowledge is being challenged." Mycroft's tone was serious, yet his face harboured a irritating smirk that said "Aha I want to see more of this funny situation".
John turned back angrily, put his tiny hands on Sherlock's shoulder, and tried to continue further up by using the rim of Sherlock's pocket as support.
"Pff." Mycroft couldn't help it then, and the laugh startled John. He lost balance, and slid into Sherlock's pajama pocket.
Mini John finally couldn't stand it anymore.
He curled up, knocked Sherlock's chest through his pajamas, and yelled: "F**K! You take me to the toilet right now or I will just make do with your pocket!"
Mycroft laughed louder:"Have your personality changed too when you shrunk? You look exactly like the 5-year-old Sherlock now, John!"
Sherlock broke out of his meditation, looked down at the wriggling John in his pocket, and plucked him up by the collar without a word.
"Could you please stop doing that?" John reached out for Sherlock's fingers, "This doesn't exactly feel nice!"
"I haven't blamed you for interrupting me yet."
"What can you think up anyway?" John threw him a rightously angered glance,"You were not thinking about saving me, you were indulged in your own suspicion about the world!"
Sherlock's frown and dodging eyes comfirmed John's accusation. He knew he has done it a bit too harshly, as Sherlock has just encountered a heavy blow. Yet still, John him self was a man whose whole world just changed.
"You look different today."
-Look different today?
Bullshit! I have shrunk to 6 inches! I am being held up by your fingers! Did you expect me to be nice and ask you if you want tea so I could make some for you?
[TBC]
My illustration for /art/I-Would-Like-To-Keep-Martin-As-A-Pet-290951256
I will update this when Christina does, this is all she had written so far :)