AN: Okay so this story is way different from the others I've written thus far, let me know how it is and if you want me to continue with it. Any suggestions are much appreciated, I love reviews and opinions, flame me if you want, I don't care just tell me what you think.

Disclaimer:

I own the plot, that is all. This is FAN fiction...so you do the math...lol

No, this couldn't be real, no no no! I sat in the car in the parking lot, trying to calm down enough to drive. I wondered how much it really mattered, even if I didn't die today, on the way home how much longer did I really have?

Maybe it was all a bad dream, I'd had this nightmare before the one where the cancer came back. But this time it was real. This time there was no waking up to find that I was safe.

I looked at the phone in my lap, I could call my mom or my step dad to come get me. I didn't feel like putting up with my mom's tears though, and Luke would be just as upset as mom, he was better at staying calm though, so maybe I should call him.

My phone rang, it was Simon, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Clary, You want to hang out at my place when I get off work?"

"Ummm sure I guess, what time do you off?" I tried to keep my voice steady, I tried to sound like I was okay, I failed.

"Clary what's wrong?" He knew me too well.

"I'm in the parking lot of the doctors office..."

"Oh," his voice was full of concern, "bad news?"

"It's back."

"Oh Clary, do you want me to come get you?" he would to, I knew he would, just leave work and come and get me.

"No, I'll be fine." Maybe.

"You sure you can drive?"

"Yea I'll come by and wait for you to get off, okay? Can we still hang out latter."

"Duh."

I smiled, I felt a little better already, I was still scarred out of my mind but what ever happened Simon would be there for me he always was.

On the way you the little ice cream shop where Simon worked I tried not to think about all the things I would never get to do if I died. I had never had a real boy friend, not anything serious any way. I was starting college this fall, I wanted to live! I slammed on the brakes as I realized the light in front of me was red. My brakes screeched and the person in the car behind me honked their horn angrily. Screw them! They weren't probably dying of cancer. They weren't dying without having ever had a love life or really a life at all.

I remembered the first time, I had been 14. I remembered my mom crying, I remembered not being able to look at her for days, she didn't stop crying and it was all my fault! I also remembered Luke coming into to my room that night when he got home from work, holding me in his arms as I let out the tears I'd been holding in all day. With my mom I had needed to be strong, hind the fear. With Luke I could let it out, he was strong enough to take care of me, I remember thinking that, even though I didn't want to be taken care of, I wanted to be okay, it was good to have Luke though. He was my dad, I never met my birth father, my mom had left him before I was born. My birth father had beaten my mom and she was afaid he would hurt me. I shook my head no more thinking, this time would not be like last, time last I was a kid, this time I was 20 . I would not cry, I would not freak out, I would not almost die, not like last time. This time would be like last time in one way and one way only, I would survive.

She pulled into the parking lot of the ice cream shop. She got out of the car and walked in.

"I'll be right back." Simon said glancing at his boss, Ella nodded and smiled sympathetically, "Get her whatever she wants, it's on the house."

Ella had seen his face when he got off the phone and demanded to know what was wrong.

"Jace cover for Simon, I have some paperwork to do."

"Sure." Jace replied in his normal bored tone.

"Clary." Simon said as she walked in, "Sie." she threw herself at him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"It's going to be okay. You're a survivor."

"But what if I can't do it again?"

"You can. Want some ice cream? It's on the house."

"You didn't tell anyone did you?"

"Ella demanded to know what was wrong. You know how she is." he knew she didn't want anyone to know but saying no to Ella was not an option and Clary knew her well enough to know that.

"Yea." she admitted.

"Mint chocolate chip with butterscotch topping?" he asked, he knew it was her favorite although he thought it was gross.

She nodded.

Just then Mia walked in, she was Clary and Simon's friend and she worked here too.

"What happened?" she exclaimed as she saw their faces.

Simon glanced at Clary.

"I have cancer." she said softly.

Mia pulled the smaller girl into a big hug, "It's gonna be ok, you can beat this."

"Get over here. I want to leave." Jace said impatiently.

"Coming." she answered sweetly, too sweetly, she winked at Clary. She walked over and slapped him across the face.

"Mia!" Clary exclaimed, but she was laughing.

"Think that's funny little red?" she glanced at him, noticing him for the first time, God he was hot!

"Yes, actually, I'm sure it is. Thank you, I needed a laugh."

He saw something in her eyes and his face softened.

"Sorry, I was being an ass. I'll take it to her." he said to Mia. She gave him a hard look, they were friends but he really could be an ass sometimes.

"I'm not gonna poison her." he reassured her. "Simon you trusted me right?"

"No, but I don't think you'll poison her." they were also friends, everyone who worked there was, but they argued basically all the time.

"Here you go." he said setting it down it front of her.

"Thanks."

"Yep, mind if join you?" my brother is meeting me here soon.

"Sure, go ahead." if he was here she couldn't think about you know what.

"I'm Jace by the way."

"I'm Clary." she said, "Are you new here? I haven't seen you here before."

"Been here for a few months, I work weird hours. I'm in med school and working as an inturn at the hospital."

"Really? What do you do.?"

I'm working in the cancer wing. That's what I want to do. They said I'll have a job there if I want it." he said proudly.

She lost it. She started sobbing right there, sitting at a table with a hot guy she just met.

"What? What did I say?" Shit, he decided to try to be nice to this girl for some reason and it made her cry, why did he care?

"I-I have cancer. I just found out."

"Oh...I'm sorry. You seem strong to me, I'm sure you'll be fine."

She started crying more at the kindness in his voice.

"It's going to be okay, I'll make sure I can be there the days you come in okay?" He didn't know he said it but it felt right.

She didn't know why but it made her feel better.

"Thanks. I'm going next monday at 1:00."

"I'll be there."

She smiled, then she thought of something. "Just wondering why do work here if you're an interturn there?"

He smiled, "I need money. Interns have to work their asses off for basically nothing."

They started talking, just about pointless stuff but it took mind off of cancer and that was what mattered.

"Jace you ready?" A pale boy with dark hair asked.

"Yea one sec."

"You okay till the geek gets off?"

"He's not a geek and yea I'll be fine. Thanks."

"See you Monday."

"Right. Thanks." she repeated.

As he left she realized she was looking forward seeing him again, even if it had to be at the hospital.

AN: So how was it? Review! XD

I'm dyslexic (and this is the first I ever spelled dyslexic without spell check correcting me! Yaaay!) so if anything is messed up (spelling, repeated words, missing words and what not) let me know. XP