AN: I wanted to write angst... And, I've developed a sort of...sick will to see what it would be like to pair Matt and Light together.
...Or, more accurately, I just like slashing Matt with ANYONE.
Just playing around with the pairings, so pretty much anything goes. Also wanted to try writing some Mello/Near, even though I have a slight aversion to it... (Can't keep avoiding what I hate, though.)
Pairings: Mentions of Mello/Near, onesided Matt/Mello, and onesided Beyond/L. Possible onesided Near/Matt or eventual onesided Mello/Matt. Eventual, dysfunctional Matt/Light. There's also Linda (who doesn't get paired up with anyone 8D). Oh, and, of course, Matt and Beyond friendship.
Warnings: Altered circumstances (really altered). Messed-up plot and relationships. Angst (lots of it). Strong language. Um, sexual situations maybe? Iunno. Oh, and, of course, as always, possible ooc-ness as well as blood/gore if I can fit it in. Artistic liberties with characters that aren't really developed (i.e. Linda, Beyond, Matt, etc.) Rating subject to change. Read at your own discretion.
Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, everyone would be messed up and there would be 33.1% more angst! Also, Linda would have had a bigger role.
Critiques on my writing would be nice. And, do tell me if I start going overboard with the angst. (Going overboard with angst usually ruins said angst, and of course I don't want to do that.)
"Hey, Near," Matt says, in greeting, coming up to him in the common room, "you're good at puzzles, aren't you?" He is holding the remnants of his gameboy in his hands.
"I do consider myself proficient at puzzles, yes." Near is building a tower with his blocks and doesn't even look up. "However, if you are requesting that I help you put your game back together, I will have to decline. Even if I am able to place the pieces back in their proper places, it will still remain broken."
Matt sighs. "Well, yeah, I know, but... It can't hurt to try... can it?"
"If it cannot be fixed, there's no point in trying."
Matt feels a twinge, almost similiar to annoyance, at that but does not comment on it. Instead, he simply walks away, knowing that he would not receive the help that he so dearly craved from the young, white-haired boy. Truly, the redhead does not fully understand Near's words. He only has a vague recognition, a shallow understanding, of them.
And, because Near is unwilling to help, Matt searches out other residents in hopes that they would be different.
-
"Linda," he whines, sticking his head into her room. "Linda, will you help me fix--"
"No."
"I didn't even finish my sentence."
"Whatever it is, the answer is still no. I can't fix jackshit, you know that, Matt."
When Linda has her mind made up about something, she will not change it for the universe, and especially not for one little red-haired, goggle-wearing boy, even if he is one of her best friends.
Sighing, Matt leaves, clutching the broken pieces tightly in his hands as he seeks another to help him.
-
He dawdles when he passes L's door, half hoping that the detective would come out and ask him what is wrong, half wishing that the detective would stay inside and just ignore the footsteps outside his door as he always did.
After a couple moments, the door remains closed and Matt continues on his way.
-
The door is ajar, as it always is.
"Beyond?" Matt calls, almost tentative. Beyond's room is different from the other children's, not simply because he is one of the first (of Wammy's residents, of L's successors). Beyond is different from the other children. "Beyond, you in here?"
Matt finds Beyond sitting on the windowsill, staring out at the field below, almost unnaturally still.
"Beyond?"
No response.
The redhead gulps, a bit disconcerted, and moves closer to the window, so as to get a better look at what exactly it is that had Beyond so captivated.
"They're playing football," Beyond says, suddenly.
Matt starts, almost falling over in surprise.
"Look," he points at a brown-haired teen giving orders to the rest, "isn't it stupid?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Arthur's always been a bit of a bully."
Beyond laughs softly. It is a strange sound, almost sympathetic, but not quite. "Alternate is such a little scaredy-cat, isn't he?"
"Really? I don't see it." Arthur has never seemed to be that kind of person to Matt, but, then again, he has never been as good at understanding others as Beyond is. "Anyway, Beyond, I came here to ask you a favor..."
"You want me to help you fix your gameboy."
"Uh. Yeah. How'd you know?"
"You're holding the pieces."
"Oh, right." Matt has never been quite as observant as Beyond is either. "Well, will you? Help me, I mean."
"I'll help you put the pieces back together, but there's no guarantee that it'll work again."
Again, Matt feels a twinge of irritation at the words for reasons he cannot define. "You sound a lot like Near." He shifts from one foot to another, uncomfortable.
"Near didn't agree to help you, did he?"
"No, he didn't."
Beyond smiles and quietly relinquishes the broken parts from Matt's hands.
-
By the time Matt returns to his room, Mello's rage has evaporated, and he has become fully absorbed in studying, sitting calmly at the desk, scribbling down pages of notes.
The redhead greets him with a small, "Hi, Mello," receiving only a grunt in reply.
Well, the situation isn't anything new, and at least the blonde isn't throwing punches, or just throwing things in general, anymore.
To Matt, Mello is his best friend.
To Mello, Matt is his roommate.
Knowing this fact doesn't bother Matt as much as he knows it should. The redhead contents himself with knowing that he is the one that understands the blonde the best. Matt isn't good at reading most people, but he is great at reading Mello.
And, the redhead has discovered that the most important thing about Mello is that he has a series of obsessions.
Of course, these obsessions hadn't occurred all at once. They built up over time, eventually filling his heart to the brim so that, by the time Matt came around, there is no room for anything else.
First, there is God.
Mello practically prays every spare moment he can get, holding onto his rosary as if it is his lifeline.
(Those are the times when Matt does not understand Mello the most.)
Second, there is L.
Mello practically worships the ground that the detective walks on, hanging on his every word almost as if L is God.
(It wouldn't be a surprise to Matt if he found out that Mello does think of L as a God.)
Third, there is Near.
Mello practically works himself to death simply for the day that he would defeat the little white-haired boy and finally obtain the title of number one.
(Matt thinks it's a pipe dream--Near is on a whole different level--but of course he never voices his opinion.)
And, if there is room for a fourth obsession, it would definitely be chocolate.
Mello practically lives off the stuff.
(Matt tries to tell him it's unhealthy, but he usually only receives a glare in response.)
So, of course, there isn't any room for Matt, even as just a simple friend.
(But, Matt doesn't really mind.)
Matt is perfectly fine with just being the friends of Linda and Beyond and an almost-friend of Near.
(Honestly, he is, no matter what Linda or Beyond or Near might think.)
AN: Symbolism? What symbolism?
-dodges tomatoes-
I've written the next chapter already, but that will be updated... when I finish the chapter after that, since I don't want to be inconsistent and update really quickly before suddenly go on an unplanned, months-long hiatus (like I do with nearly all of my other multi-chaptered stuff) because I'm such a procrastinator.
In other words, expect the next update sometime next week.