Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own Hetalia. :)
WARNING: READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING!
Basically, whatever's in this fic is just random stuff I wrote with my little brother. He's got a vivid imagination. :)
Also, updates will be sporadic. ;)
One day, Italy ate too much pasta.
Then, he blew up and Spock saw his remains float up into space.
Germany saw Italy blow up and so cried and got drunk with Prussia. But Prussia was actually America in disguise who assassinated him with his bow tie. "Haha!" cried America victoriously. "We've won WWII!"
After that, the world was thrown into chaos.
"Nooooooooo!"
America soon became a leading power in the chaos and led a campaign to take over Canada, Russia, and eventually China.
First he invaded Canada and won by threatening to destroy anything and everything related to pancakes, hockey, maple leaves, and polar bears.
Once he easily destroyed, rebuilt, and militarized Canada, he used Alaska and Vancouver to house a gigantic invasion force for Russia.
"Haha Russia! Prepare to be invaded! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" America laughed evilly. "Then I will take China and Europe and you'll become my fifty-something states!"
But then, Russia calmly sent four billion missiles and a pick-axe to America's head.
"Nooooooooooo!" America cried. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Then the missile hit him.
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-!"
BOOM!
Instantly, he disintegrated and turned into a small pile of black dust.
Canada wept over his brother's ashes, sobbing, "I never did get to brag enough about the War of 1812! Woe is I!"
Some of the missiles got off course and turned Canada into another pile of dust. It turns out that only one missile actually hit America but the other 3,999,999,999 hit Canada.
"That sucks for them, aru," noted China. "I hope Russia doesn't hit me next, aru!"
Suddenly, he saw a small Russian plane. He was soon a pile of dust.
Germany stumbled around his country, drunk. "AUEBRURENEIFNEKSKBWODNFENIDBDJSORJFHDJDNCIEKAPQKEJFJFJWOEFJHEISISOAPARJKEIDBCHDYWUD!" he shouted.
Unfortunately, Russia didn't find his annoying shouts worthy of his mercy. Germany soon saw the same plane that hit China above his head, waiting for permission from Russia.
"AIEIFBFISKSHCOAKENDRJLSKWLD!" Germany shouted at the plane, bazooka and beer mug in hand. "AIRBFOWOSNFNFJENDNFHRJJRHF!"
Germany lazily stuffed his beer bottle into the bazooka but when he fired, the bazooka and the beer bottle exploded, killing Germany.
Russia's plane flew away and blew up Harry Styles and only Harry Styles, because no one cares about him. Then they killed Justin Bieber who was vacationing in Russia for the heck of it. This ingenious move made the remaining countries love Russia and gave him their lands.
And so Russia owned the world but was forced to marry Belarus.
Morale: Make sure Italy never eats too much pasta.
The End :)
You were warned! :)
Please review! My brother really wants to know your reactions. ;)
- ImaginaryParchment