A/n: ok, this is yet another random one-shot me and a friend have put together. This time my co-author is my BFFL charity. Enjoy. Stuff in bold is action, stuff in italics is the random input of me/charity. And underlined stuff is just our names.

This is the characters, unless it says other wise. Which it does near the end.

CHARITY Ed

Hokama Roy

Yet another random perverted msn conversation between me and a friend.

CHARITY says:

ROY YOU BASTARD!!!!!

Hokama says:

smirk

CHARITY says:

GIMME MY GODDAMNED LICENSE!!!!!

CHARITY says:

QUIT SMIRKING

Hokama says:

you must have a reason for wanting it so badly? give me a reason good enough, I might let you have it.

Hokama says:

might.

CHARITY says:

GRRRRRRRRR pushes Roy against the wall You bastard, give it to me before I transmute your head into a bowling pin!!!

Hokama says:

pushes ed off, walks to the door and melts the knob so it wont turn I need convincing Edward.

Hokama says:

(stress the convincing)

CHARITY says:

Ugh.

Hokama says:

ok. if you want to be like that about it. I guess I just wont give it to you.

CHARITY says:

OH THAT'S IT!!!! leaps on Roy

Hokama says:

falls to the floor bringing ed with himlong time no see snakes an arm around Ed's waist

CHARITY says:

You think You're going to be in control again, FORGET IT. Transmutes Roy's clothing into a little stuffy on the floor

CHARITY says:

I'm the one in control this time

Hokama says:

you call me the basterd? snaps fingers so Ed's cloths turn to ash

Hokama says:

smirk

CHARITY says:

Grrrrrrrrrrr you-kisses Roy roughly

Hokama says:

Kisses back, thrusting his tongue into Ed's mouth without permission. moves hand lower and pinches Ed's tight ass

CHARITY says:

lets his hands (both of them) Rome around Roy's muscular body

Hokama says:

brakes away and latches onto Ed's neck

CHARITY says:

I...hate you...you...bastard

Hokama says:

sucks Ed's pulse point before moving to whisper in his ear you weren't complaining last night, or this morning

CHARITY says:

digs nails into Roy's back to hear a satisfying grunt

Hokama says:

or on my lunch break.

CHARITY says:

Ngghhhhhhhh

CHARITY says:

you asshole

Hokama says:

yes. and you Love to pound it. if THIS is any indication wraps a hand firmly around Ed's raging erection

CHARITY says:

flips Roy over easily Let's see that theory go into action, shall we? pounds roughly into Roy

Hokama says:

uhnn... enn...pants

CHARITY says:

back rides Roy, panting slightly You're getting winded already, you bastard? Good Lord, What's happened to you.

CHARITY says:

angels thrusts

Hokama says:

its called distracting you. stops panting and flips them, Ed's falls out and without warning Roy thrusts himself into Ed

Hokama says:

this is that you get, for trying to top me.

Hokama says:

you deserve your punishment

CHARITY says:

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Hokama says:

angles to hit Ed's bundle of nerves

CHARITY says:

writhes under Roy

CHARITY says:

AH! GODDAMN IT ROY!!!!!

Hokama says:

yes that's it. scream my name for the world to hear.

CHARITY says:

(whisper roughly) I will when Hell freezes over.

Hokama says:

its already frozen smirks and thrust harder

CHARITY says:

AAAAAAGH!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMM IT!!!!!!

CHARITY says:

sweating slightly

Hokama says:

smirks wider. room is silent except for slightly heavy breathing and the sound of slapping skin

CHARITY says:

DAMMIT ROY!!!! comes onto the floor

Hokama says:

oh fucker. comes deep inside his blond Lover

CHARITY says:

panting heavily Bastard.

Hokama says:

and you Love it. collapses onto the floor next to ed.

CHARITY says:

enter Al Big brother, I heard you yelling and-HOLY SHIT!!!!

CHARITY says:

CLUNK

Hokama says:

heh heh...

CHARITY says:

Al falls apart-literally

CHARITY says:

Al: It's no use!!! I can still see!!!!! AAAAAUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hokama says:

your cleaning that mess up ed. the janitors are getting suspicious.

CHARITY says:

Al: Tries hopelessly to crawl out of the room

Hokama says:

(one question charity, how did Al get IN the room, the door is jammed/locked)

CHARITY says:

(The guy also an alchemist idiot)

Hokama says:

(I know. But… just… nevermind.)

CHARITY says:

(Whatever.) Just Gimme my license.

Hokama says:

no. gets up, puts on pants and walks from the room

CHARITY says:

GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!

Hokama says:

( that's my saying! How dare you use it without asking!)

CHARITY says:

(can I use it Hokama – kun?)

Hokama says:

(oh I suppose. Anyway, ON WITH THE FIC!!)

CHARITY says:

pounces on Roy

Hokama says:

its shame really, all you had to do to get it was reach into my pant pocket throws ed off and pulls plastic card from pocket

CHARITY says:

holding onto Roy piggy-back style, GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT!!!!!!

Hokama says:

melts card so its a glob of plastic ok, here is it.

CHARITY says:

smirk. I already did. If you had taken a look at the card you were holding...IT WAS MY FUCKIN MEDICAL CARD!!!!!

CHARITY says:

TURN IT BACK TURN IT BACK!!!!! TURN IT BACK TURN IT BACK TURN IT BACK!!!!!

Hokama says:

give me the license. and I will get you a new medical card.

CHARITY says:

NO!!! I can get a new medical myself, thank you. stalks off happily, re-assembling Al and Dragging him out of the room

CHARITY says:

Al : Big Brother, What the fuck were you two doing?????? Why were you...

CHARITY says:

Al, shut up

Hokama says:

goes to phone, calls up the medical card guy and orders him to not, under any circumstances give Edward a new medical card

CHARITY says:

Roy has No idea that Ed has a second one in Resembool

Hokama says:

TIME SKIP : 5 hours

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - that goop its there again

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- That's strange. We clean it up but yet It's always there.

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - what do you think they DO in here?

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- Honestly, I REALLY don't want to know. I just clean up after them.

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - I agree. but seriously. this is the 4th time today I have come in here and it was there!

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- Do you think they...shudder

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - I cant really say every much. I am a fan of yaoi(sp?) so... I know you don't like it janitor 2, but to be honest. I hope I catch them at it one day.

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- Perv. thinking to himself that he would too

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - should we just leave it there and see what colonial(sp?) mustang(sp?) does in the morning?

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- Good idea, but if he knows We're the ones who clean his office, He'll fire us.

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2 - Let's do it anyway

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - exactly. I know were the colonial(sp?) lives. want to go spy on him to see if he goes at it at home to?

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- Ok, let's.

Hokama says:

janitor 1 - lets go walks away, motioning for the other to follow

CHARITY says:

Janitor 2- follows quickly

OWARI!!!

A/n: well here it is. Take it or leave it. Me and charity are perverts. Get over it. Besides I know we aren't alone in the world of perverted ness. If you are a perv please stand up! sees several people stand up bravely anyway. REVIEWS!!! I love to get them. Flames are welcome. They help spark my artistic fire. Good bye, and until next time.

-Hokama