Dr. Jones's Lab And The Pills

By The Great Gonzales

Author's Notes... August 5, 2007

Five days after that computer incident, I was thinking about what I was gonna write during my 5 days of "Living with a broken computer." I though of this story during a ride in the car and decided to write it on my PDA (even though it was inefficient) while I was setting up my other computer. So here it is; a crazy action-packed story.

It was another nice summer afternoon at Dr. Jones's lab. Dr. Jones, the most intelligent Yoshi scientist in Yoshi's Island was working on a pill that prevents people from getting bad jobs. Yoshi and Marvin were also there playing Super Smash Bros. Melee on Dr. Jones's GameCube. Dr. Jones was sitting on his desk mixing potions and making calculations on whether that the pills are safe enough for everyday use. Then Dr. Jones reached in the refrigerator where he found that the food in the fridge was running low. So he stood up and announced, "Yoshi, Marvin, I'm gonna be going to FoodMaxx to get some groceries. You boys don't mess around while I'm gone, 'kay?"
"Ay aye captain," they both said.

"Well in that case, I'll be leaving now." Dr. Jones left the building.

They both played the game for a while before Yoshi announced, "Marvin, do not touch the game. I gotta go to the bathroom. I remember EXACTLY how the game is left. 'kay?"
"Yes," Marvin answered.

While Yoshi went to the bathroom, which was in the second floor, Marvin decided to explore Dr. Jones's desk. He discovered that Dr. Jones left his wallet at his desk. How can he go grocery shopping without money, he thought. He found the six green pills he was working on and grabbed them. Then he walked to the soda machine and said, "I hope these work," as he inserted one pill in the soda machine. Nothing happened. So he walked to Dr. Jones's computer and opened the optical disk drive and placed the pill in it and closed the disk drive. Nothing happened. Then Marvin walked into the TV and pierced two more pills into each of the TV's antennas. Then Marvin walked into the kitchen where he sat and examined the two other pills he had left.

Yoshi was walking down the stairs where he heard a loud noise coming from downstairs. He saw a walking soda machine, a walking computer and a walking TV.

"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP. A WALKING TV. A WALKING COMPUTER. A WALKING SODA MACHINE."

The soda machine walked towards Yoshi and spoke, "Greetings fellow soda drinker. My name is Dr. Pepper. Here, have a free Dr. Pepper," he said as he dispensed a Dr. Pepper.

"Dude, I don't even like Dr. Pepper. I'm more of a Mountain Dew type of guy."

"WHAT!" roared the machine. "Oh, you're gonna pay."

"Yeah," said the walking computer. "Unless you get us three items, you will pay."

"What are the three items," asked Yoshi.

"The three items are," said the walking TV, "A Universal TV remote, a DVD R+RW Drive and 100 dollars."

"Okay, so I'll get the 3 items and you won't scare us no more?"

"Yes," roared the soda machine.

"Marvin, we've got a problem here"

"Yes," said Marvin as he walked from the kitchen.

"Dude, we need to get three items for those walking weirdoes here. Or something bad will happen to us. We need to get a DVD drive, a universal TV remote and 100 dollars."

"We can just go to Wal-Mart and get all three of those," suggested Marvin.

"Good idea," Yoshi said as they left the lab.

Later at the Yoshi City Wal-Mart...

"Damn, the Wal-Mart is closed. How did they close so early?" said Yoshi, who was angered.

"We can try Staples."

"They close at 9. And besides, they don't sell universal remote controls."

"Oh well I guess we have to..."

Out of nowhere, a news chopper crashes into Wal-Mart. The result broke Wal-Mart's main doors where it was easy to get in. Yoshi and Marvin snuck in the Wal-Mart while the news pilot got off the burning chopper unhurt and decided to join in. Yoshi and Marvin grabbed a universal remote control and a DVD drive while Yoshi grabbed 100 dollars out of the register. Then police crashed in the Wal-Mart and arrested Yoshi, Marvin, and the pilot for stealing. They used the 100 dollars they stole to bail themselves out of jail but their other items got confiscated.

Later, trying to get back to the lab, Tryclyde, a three-headed snake from Subcon showed up.

"I hear you guys have problems. You want me to help?"
"Sure. There's this talking TV, a walking Dr. Pepper machine, and some crazy computer who wants us to give them a DVD burner, a universal remote control and 100 dollars."

Later, Yoshi, Marvin, and Tryclyde were walking down 9th street when they came upon a run-down bar named Moes and walked in. Inside was the owner of the bar, Moe, Homer Simpson, and Mouser, the annoying mouse. Mouser was drunk and pretend-fighting with Homer when he finally fell on the floor, unconscious. Then Homer walked toward Yoshi and the rest.

"I don't know who you are," he said, as he was drunk. "But I think I've seen you before. You're a coward."

"Who're callin' a coward," yelled Yoshi all of a sudden.

"Oh shut up Superman," said Homer. "Just because you're stupid doesn't mean you're supposed to be stupid, stupid. I remembered getting fired from that stupid nuclear power plant because stupid Mr. Burns fired me."
"Maybe because you crashed into his office the other way, killing an inspector," interrupted Moe.

"You know what Moe..."

Just then, three police cars pulled into the bar. Then out of nowhere, Pikachu comes into the bar from the men's room and says, "Good evening," before he was killed by Homer when he fell on him. Then Marth comes in the bar with Luigi. Luigi then jumps on Homer but got stuck in the soft flesh of Homer's body and started to sink in.

"HEEELLP! I'M SINKING!!!" he cried.

Then Marth jumps in and grabs Homer and lifts him up when Homer's weight gave in and sent Marth into the basement.

The news chopper for ABC 10 news was flying through the air, sending footage of the recent fight. Then another chopper with the Microsoft Windows 2000 logo lands on top of the bar and Bill Gates comes out. Tryclyde was firing fireballs at Homer while he pulled a pack of Krusty Burgers and guarded himself against the fireballs until they were cooked to perfection and ate them and pulled out another. Yoshi threw Yoshi eggs at Homer where he caught them and fried them. Marvin ran outside of Moes where he was face-to-face with Bill Gates. "I believe someone wanted to give you this," he said as he pulled out a Memorex brand DVD burner.

"Yay, the DVD burner. Thanks sir."

"No problem," he said as he was getting on the helicopter and left the scene. Marvin placed the DVD burner aside and ran back in to Moes.

Inside, Homer had a fort made of Krusty Burgers built around him and was eating them one by one. Then the swat team came in the bar and grabbed Homer's feet and arms and arrested them and threw him in the back of the van. The outcome. A huge mess in Moes Tavern with beer spilled all over the place, bar stools out of place, and the pool table flipped over with the balls rolling around the bar. "Uh geez," Moe groaned as everyone left the bar.

Later that night...

"We've got the DVD burner but we still need the money and the Universal remote control," explained Marvin.

Then, a man in a kiosk yelled, "universal remote controls for sale. Get your universal goodness. Universal remote controls for sale. Only 20 dollars."

"Well that was easy," Yoshi said as he walked to the stand and bought a remote control.

"You mean a universal remote control," said Yoshi annoyed.

"Yoshi," barked Marvin. "What did I tell you about breaking that forth wall?"

"Shut up!"

Later that night... (author gets shot for using the same phrase)

"Okay, now we need the 100 dollars. We can search the lab for loose change."
"Lets roll," said Yoshi.

Back at the lab, Yoshi and Marvin were looking in every corner, in every cabinet, and in every mouse hole for spare change. Together, they've collected $72.28. "Okay, just over twenty dollars to go."

They kept searching the lab high and low. "You no hungry for girl, you hungry for Hot Pocket," yelled the Chinese man from the commercial. Then a commercial for Dell came on. Marvin got distracted and came in front of the TV. Then he remembered something. Dr. Jones left his wallet on his desk. He could use the $22.72 they needed to complete this insane mission. So he ran to Dr. Jones's desk where he took out twenty-three dollars and then the three machines came to life again.

"You. You got the three items. Good job. Now place those items on the scientist's desk," the soda machine ordered.

Marvin obeyed and placed the DVD burner, the universal remote control, and the $100.28 on Dr. Jones's desk. Then the three machines moved back into their original positions and became lifeless once again.

Just after the machines died, Dr. Jones came back in the lab but didn't have the groceries. Instead, his attention went to the three items.

"Finally, a DVD burner for burning my videos, a universal remote control so I don't have to use a different remote control every time. And 100 dollars to fund my research. Thank goodness."
"Wait, wait, wait," said Yoshi. "You programmed the TV, the soda machine, and the computer to do this?"

"Yeah, I knew that Marvin would be stupid enough for to be playing around with the pills so to pay for his actions, I made you do a little duty for me."

"A little duty?" questioned Marvin. "We've busted our butts out there. We got arrested. We got in a fight with Homer and Pikachu got killed. You call that a little duty?"

"Well... I guess?"

"Good, now let's get a good sleep," concluded Yoshi. "It's been a long day."
With that, everyone went to sleep hoping for a new, great day.

The End!

It was pitch black in the basement where Marth stood in the basement. Then Mouser snuck into the room when Marth screamed so loud that the already broken windows of Moes Tavern were broken. "No, a mouse. I can't die now. Not before this story ends!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!The Real End!