az: Someone asked me to make another fic… and this is what I had in mind. And this should be between the scenes on book 6/7 of God Child…

Disclaimer: I don't own Count Cain manga of which I have the scanlations courtesy of . If I OWNED this... you'd probably see me as a milionaire and I won't be here writing this damn fic. Characters and original excerpts from the fic are copyrights of Kaori Yuki and SakuraCrisis for the translation.

The Cold Night

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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Loneliness… Despair…

I wonder… was I destined to be always living like this?

Darkness… hatred… betrayal…

If it was to be, what was the reason that I was brought alive among the living? If I was so much as cursed of my very existence, why is it that I was kept alive? Even until this very moment…

Alexis watched his subordinate leave as Rifuel set out to do his bidding. He looked around. Ida was still standing guard for him, feeling obligated to keep watching over her master even though knowing that the teenager that was still lying on the floor nearby, had no more will to do anything as to fight his own sire. Shock and heartache had immobilized the lad to the point that the poor thing could not even afford to think for himself.

The cardmaster looked at his son, unfeeling as he knelt over the poor soul.

"Does it still hurt? Your back, I mean… Do you want me to look at it for you? Like I've always do… before I lent to you your servant…", drawled the man as Cain frantically squirmed away from his touch.

The young count looked up fearfully towards the man that was his father as Alexis chuckled with glee. He turned around towards his bodyguard.

"Ida, you can leave now… I wish to be alone with him. Do not fear for me… this devil wasn't even capable of killing me at the time…", he said as Ida acknowledged this and walked away.

The devil? Is that the only thing you can ever think of me?, thought Cain painfully as Alexis turned his glance back at him.

"Hmm… now where were we just now? Ah… yes, your back—and your shirt, it's torn. Here… let me take it off you…", said Alexis as he tried to take Cain's torn shirt off. Cain fought against his mock concern as Alexis watched his son, amused.

"Stop it! Stop acting as if you cared! Why not finish me off now, here?!", cried Cain as Alexis smirked at him, unperturbed.

"Why—do you have to ask? And had my eyes deceived me? Rifuel had reported to me that you hadn't been able to shed any tear since that day… and here, you are crying?! You, the very child that was born out of sin; the one that caused the death of your own mother and the one who dared to try killing his father—? You… crying before me?"

The accusations were too much for Cain to bear.

"Me? Mother had jumped through the window because she thought that I was YOU!! And you were the one that brought me to my existence! If you hated me that much, why did you've kept me alive? You could have just taken my life when you've had the chance—"

Tears ran freely over his face, something that even Cain was surprised that he was still capable of doing. Something that he had always thought that he could not do for so long. Alexis grabbed his son as he roughly removed the torn fabric off his body. He cupped his chin up to force Cain to look at his face.

"Why—? Yes, I hated your every being… must I repeat those words again to you? And I had once loved you so, can't I just show to you how much I felt for you? My prove of love… my mark on you…"

Hearing those words from him, Cain questioned in his mind of what kind of love was it that he had for him. And immediately, the memories of all the whipping and poisoning that his father had bestowed on him came to mind. And instantly, the sick feeling came back from inside of him. The feeling of filth… the thought of him to be nothing other than worthless. To be nothing than a thing to be despised, a thing to be experimented. A lab rat of a sort. Cain involuntarily started to vomit as his old scars started to burn.

Alexis watched this change with amused curiousity. It had came to him that his presence still hold strong over Cain's sanity. He caressed his son's cheek gracefully as Cain made no move of wanting to pull away. His eyes were wild with fear but Alexis has noticed that a part of Cain was indeed hungered for his father's touch; no matter how much he feared him. Alexis smiled as he brought his face closer to his son's.

"Or… do you want me to show my love to you in this way?', he drawled as he kissed Cain's forehead lightly.

A gasp came out from Cain's mouth, the kind that came from a child who was… desperate for his father's attention.

He could easily kill me now but he didn't. Right now, I am the helpless rodent in his hand… waiting to be crushed under his feet. He cared nothing of me as his own child! But why is it that I…, thought Cain as he tried to brush away the thought. No… I shouldn't be thinking like this… He's not like a normal father should be. He wouldn't love me the way that I would hope for!

Cain looked up towards his father's face. Towards his eyes and his intimidating gaze. They were so close that Cain could barely see his own reflection. Seeing those eyes that resembled none but the demon himself. He quickly tore his gaze away as Alexis caught him at the instance that he tried to escape.

"What—? Are you afraid to meet my gaze? Or is it your own reflection that scared you?', he taunted again as he rose and headed towards one of the draped walls.

He pulled a tassle that was hung nearby and lo, a large mirror was revealed from behind the curtains. Alexis smiled as he looked at his majestic reflection before turning back towards Cain. The fearsome man pulled his son towards the mirror. Cain whimpered as the fresh wound and old scars on his back continue to throb painfully.

"Look up. Do you want to know why did I have such strong feelings for you? Look up, you accursed child!" barked Alexis as Cain looked up… straight towards his own helpless image.

"No—!', cried Cain as he quickly tried to avert his eyes away from his own reflection.

But Alexis refused to let him look away… until the sobs of the young man became loud enough, did he stopped himself from forcing the son from looking anymore.

"There… it's over. I won't make you look again, don't cry any more… my child. My beautiful child…" said Alexis softly beside Cain's ears as he started running his hands over the younger one's hair.

A smile crept into his features as Cain obediently let himself fall into Alexis's cold embrace…

Pathetic.

Cain scolded himself as he laid on his own bed, recollecting the dark memories when he was caught by his own father… a few days ago. He wrapped the comforter around himself as the wind started to blow cold breeze inside.

After all of the abuse that I had received, I should be hating him… like everyone who knows about my past have said to me all this time.

Cain sighed heavily.

I have made the act of wanting to fight him, to openly hating him… but I couldn't deny that… like any child would say, I loved him so much!! Even until now… I'm afraid of him. I hated him, but then...

He is still my father. Certainly like anyone else… I wanted to be loved by my own father. For that… why can't I be allowed to be living a normal life? Why can't I have a normal family… and none of this crazy play of cat and mouse? Where neither of them would continue trying to get ahead of each other… trying to survive…

Cain looked up towards the only mirror in his room, where it was covered with a black cloth. He smiled mockingly at himself again as he looked away. Wonder what was the real reason on why I dared not look at my own face. Is it because that I was afraid to see my own reflections… having the demonic pair of golden eyes that many had feared to look at? Hah… and it's not even pure gold as many had claimed as heretic. It's greenish… but could it also be? That I was afraid of looking at myself… growing day by day, looking more like him? Will I grew up to be like him in the future? Will I—

"O—nii-sama!! What are you moaning about?" cried a voice beside him as Cain jumped out of his reverie.

"Merry!!" he cried in surprise as he felt glad that he still had his shirt on. Heaven knows what will the small lady do if she saw the the scars on his back. He sighed again.

"Merry… what— uh, it's nothing. You don't need to worry about me…" he said, noticing the worried look on her face.

Merryweather scowled at him.

"You looked so sad just now, is anything bothering you? Or is it because of the cold air? Silly you… brother, why did you left the windows so wide open?", she cried as she dashed to close the windows.

"Tonight is very cold, isn't it… brother?", sighed Merry as Cain looked at her warmly.

"Uh… it is, I guess…" he said as he caressed her hair. And it brings back sad memories…

Cain shrugged as he kissed Merry's cheeks, affectionately.

"It's late… you should have gone straight to bed." he cried as Merry grinned.

"I was gong to… but I want to give you a good night kiss first!! You left the dining hall so early…', she said, pouting before she jumped at him to give her kiss on his cheek. The girl smiled as her brother looked at her, bemused.

"Good night, brother." she cried as she dashed out of the room, closing the door behind her. Cain smiled as he glanced back towards the windows and the sceneries beyond… clouded by the cloak of night.

"It is a cold night, tonight… was it—"

"…Father—?"

[FIN]

az: I felt like I was doing this with the idea of a Father's day fic, like in Kaori Yuki's version for Cain. Anyway it's a tribute to Nightfox Hiten. Another Cain fic… it makes it three then. It's hard to make one even… at second thought.

A/N: And I don't think I'll be writing another Cain fic for a long time… unless another wisecracks from my muse gave a show…