Harry stood on the Lake's shore staring off into the sunset. The fading light painting the water surface with bright oranges and reds. The water seemed to be what he imaged the red sea to be like in Muggle primary school when he first heard of it. He thought the colors to be fitting for this All Hallows Eve.
He never thought he would survive the war, especially when so many of the people he had known, cared for, and even respected didn't. He sighed as the sun sank even further and the water lost it's orange sheen and traded it in for a deep purple. Even though he had survived he didn't quite know how he should live..if he could live.
He raked his fingers through his untamed locks and resisted the urge to scream. He wanted to rage at the unfairness of life and his lot in it but knew it wouldn't do any good. After all, his life had never been fair since he was thought to be the subject of a prophecy at the tender age of one. He just wished the papers, and everyone else, would leave him alone.
His thoughts flitted from one to the next unable to focus on any one in particular. His Mother, Father, Sirius, and Remus flashed behind his eyelids along with Malfoy, Snape, Dumbledore, and Voldemort. He tried to push them from his mind but he suddenly had Snape mocking him on his ability to 'clear his mind' sneering front and center.
He quickly opened his eyes unable to remember when he exactly had closed them. The sun was sinking even further and as the last rays created an illusion of twilight, he noticed a shadowed figure standing a few yards away from him. He quickly drew his wand but between him having it resting comfortably in his hand and bringing it to bear on the intruder, the figure was mere feet from him.
The figure, though imposing in stature, didn't set off any of his danger instincts honed over his short life. Instead he felt the short hairs on the back of his neck and his arms stand up in a kind of animalistic response. The figure didn't speak and seemed to blend in with the growing shadows of nightfall but for some reason Harry felt a sense of peace wash over him instead of the alarm he thought he should of felt.
With lighting quick clarity he realized what stood before him. Not a Dementor, or a lone Death Eater, but Death Himself. He wondered what brought Death to his side this evening but didn't question it as he continued to ponder about what he should do now that the war was 'over'. Death came to stand next to him, but the unease he thought would follow such and action didn't manifest. Instead it helped him focus in a way he hadn't been able to since he talked to Dumbledore in King's Cross Station.
He felt at peace and found it strangely addicting as he tried to figure out why he was out here by the lake when everyone else was celebrating. Hermione said it was normal for him to feel so lost, Voldemort was a huge part of his life for so long that it would take time to move past it. The thing was Harry didn't know if he wanted to move past it. What place in the world did he have now that his destiny was fulfilled? He didn't know if he could live in a place like that.
He turned his head sharply to face Death and knew why he was here, now, beside him on the lake shore. It was to offer him a choice. I was like in the tale of the Deathly Hallows, but instead of treasures and trinkets and a chance to cheat Death, he was offering Harry his services. On this night of nights when the veil between the living and the dead was thinned to near nothing he could grant Harry his darkest desire. Death had tried to claim him twice and was unable to, and if Harry truly wanted him to he would take him.
Harry found himself heaving, trying to get air into his lungs. His shock at that revelation coursed through his system like he imagined the Fiendfyre would of done if he hadn't gotten himself and Malfoy out in time. Death stood there in absolute stillness awaiting his choice.
He couldn't understand why he way given this choice in the first place. Was it because he was the 'Savior'? Or maybe it was because he had technically died yet didn't? Maybe he was stuck in a crossroads of sorts and he had this choice laid in front of him due to those special circumstances? Harry saw Death incline his 'head' ever so slightly, the hood covering it never moving to reveal what lay beneath it.
He shivered and felt his thoughts take flight inside his mind once again. Why did everything have to happen to him? He frowned and thought that if he went with Death, nothing like deranged Death Eaters and stupid prophecy spoken by a part-time seer would plague him again He would see his family again and all his friends who have past on. The longing he felt for that chance briefly overwhelmed him and he felt hot tears run down his cheeks.
He then thought of everyone he would leave behind and felt a heaviness settle in his chest. He knew it would hurt them to have him go but he honestly didn't know if he could have the strength to live for them. He wasn't a hero no matter what the papers had printed since the defeat of Voldemort. He was still 'Just Harry', only he was scarred in more ways than the lighting bolt on his forehead. He was already cracking under the pressure of the spotlight that shone on him and the sheer vertigo he got from the pedestal he was placed on made him want to sick up.
He was torn on what would be the right choice and as he descended further into his mind he remembered why he lived. It was due to his mother's love and her wish that he would live. He heard a mocking voice that sounded like Snape say , 'Foolish boy. Would you really throw away all we had done for you before you even tried? You should have never been sorted into Gryfindor if that's you idea of bravery.' Suddenly he saw Snape, not as he last saw him near death and broken, but as he was at Hogwarts tecing in his classroom full of students. Snape curled his thin lips in disgust in his mind's eye. 'I can't believe I threw my life away in order to save yours if this is how you're going to treat it!'
Harry snarled, "You don't understand!" He heaved in great gulps of air again on the verge of hyperventilating, not seeing anything outside the drama playing in his mind. "I can't be who they want me to be! I can't be their flawless Hero!" Harry felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment and shame at that admission. Even if it was only in his own head to his made up Snape.
Snape suddenly lost his cruel sneer and and almost pitying expression flitted across his face before it settled into one of calm calculation. 'Then don't. Go abroad, see the world, do whatever it is that dunderheaded children dream of doing instead of properly brewing potions in my classroom.' He waved his hand dismissively as he became more solid within Harry's mind. 'Just don't waste what we all all worked so hard to give you.' He then turned sharply and abruptly faded from Harry's 'view' and the outside world once again became clear.
Harry saw Death still standing there, still waiting for his answer. He took a few calming breaths and was surprised that it was still only twilight and full dark had yet to descend. It felt like hours as he argued with Snape within his own mind. "I've chosen." He stood up straighter and looked Death in the 'eye'. "I want to try living." He found himself feeling lighter as he said it out loud and a grin formed on his lips. "After all Death can wait forever." Harry realized that truth himself as he was hunting down the Horcuxes. "Life on the other hand can't."
Death inclined his 'head' once again and between one moment and the next was gone. The sun lost it hold on the world the full dark of night spread before him. Harry looked for any sign of Death but was soon convinced that he had left.
His grin became a full fledged smile as he found a quiet calm within himself. I wasn't yet the peace he craved but as the stars blazed to life in the night sky he found that he didn't care. After all he have the kind of peace soon enough. Now he had to find a way to live not only with himself but with others, and as he thought that is wasn't a daunting as it seemed only a moment ago. He continued to smile. He had some living to do.