the color is blinding returns. Not permanently. But I felt like writing a bit of my emotions and life onto paper. Based off of a true story. Like most of the fictions I've been writing, but neglected to put up, but instead spend hours on, just looking at the words, and wonder if this really is happening to me…
Anyways. Enjoy~
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(your jar of hearts)
…and who do you think you are? Running 'round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart…. –Jar of Hearts, by Christina Perri
You don't want to like him. At all. But there are those days where everything just falls apart. And his smile makes you melt. And his eyes twinkle with laughter. And you just want to curl up in his arms like before, and you never want to leave.
And then there days where everything is the opposite. When his blatant and obvious dismissal of your presence just sparks up hurt, hatred, and confusion. And you just want to fall into a friend's shoulder and cry. You don't know what to believe about him. You just know that he can be the most amazing person sometimes, and then other times you just don't know what he is. You don't know him. Sometimes you think you do, but then he turns around and stabs you in the heart.
Then he picks up the pieces and gives them back to you one at a time. Just to see you crumple again.
It's like he's playing a game with you, the same game you once played with him. The same game that you played with him. Except now the roles are reversed. Instead of being the heart breaker, you are on the receiving end. The heart-broken.
He keeps taunting you to come closer to him emotionally still, and you keep falling for him over again, and again. And yet you can't make yourself go up to him, and you can't make yourself talk to him about it, because you'll never be able to live with yourself if you hurt him. And you don't want to make the unsteady situation crumple into nothingness. Even a little is better than none.
His game gets worse when he flirts with your best friend. And you see the way she talks to him, and their interaction. And you can't help but notice that he talks to her the same way he talked to you, and still occasionally does. But everything he says to her just rips into your soul, and his smile, his laughter, everything just cuts deeper and deeper to a point you hardly know if you can heal.
Because you're going to fall for him again. And sooner than later he's never going to give you back your heart. And he'll keep your poor tattered heart that barely functions. And he'll pull your clumsy stitches out, and let the pieces fall to the floor, and walk away.
Oh your poor abandoned heart.
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Not my favorite one-shot. But it's true. So utterly bitterly true. I almost hate the truth that seeps out of this. But there's no point concealing this. Which makes me really want to put up the prequel-of-sorts to this that I've written. So you understand the full story. So you understand the full pain.
You know. I think I will.
Leave me your thoughts in a review~
the color is blinding